All Comments on 'The Shepherd of Ashburn Court Pt. 05'

One of the best damn stories I've read Ina while good writing. Good job.

At the end of the day, this just isn't very good writing. I don't want to be rude, but constructive. The number of dangling storylines is almost infinite. Beyond that, almost all of the main storylines feel unsatisfying as well. It would have been more interesting to see how Ben's relationships grew with Gabriella & Cat, than to have him hook up with the twins.

I don't even want to bring up how contrived the last bit is with the abusing neighbor, who just happens to move in next door, when Ben just happened to consult for the neighbors father. But, it's so bad, it has to be mentioned. And Ben nearly gets killed, again, but is fueled by a repressed childhood memory, again. This is bad work. Maybe an editor would help this writer stay focused on a main storyline. I'm not sure. At the end of the day, it's so scattered, I'm not sure that even an outside set of eyes could harness this.

A very good read hope you keep it going if not at least you had a sort of ending to it a lot better than most do

Next to taken by the wind this is amazing

Would be interesting to see Wendy come back

Maybe a run in

I tried... but the writing isn't tight and the characters don't manage to be very believable. I think an editor could do this story wonders.

This was good overall, I really liked it, a very compelling read. the writing could have been a little tighter though. For instance you had a scene introducing Joanne and her daughter Lily, only to have them disappear until there were offhandedly mentioned in part five. I think the problems there probably have to do with the sheer size of the cast. I love all of the characters, but there simply isn't enough room to give all of them the time they need to tell their stories. Another example of this would be Jayden King. He's left off by the end in a state in which it seems he might stop trying to be a player like his father and could possibly find the right path in life. However, the question of, "will he or won't he?" is left frustratingly unanswered.

When you did focus on a storyline though, the writing good be quite excellent. A good example of this would be the build up to Ben having sex with Lisa and Lori. The reader knew it was coming, but the tension leading to it was added onto appearance after appearance by the twins so efficiently. The anticipation that was created by this added greatly to the final payoff.

This one had a really good story line.... I loved the explicit sex scenes with multiple women. The author did a good job with the character Ben. He was one really cool stud with a heart of gold. Overall, I really enjoyed the read. I would really enjoy seeing a follow up/continuation to the story.

When can we expect more? I can wait....

I love the redhead twins, I would like if they became part of the core group

BR, out of all the Modern Fabulism of this story, truly a Joseph Campbellian erotica.

However, the most unbelievable fantasy portion is:

"...By utilizing the valve Ben had designed for the nuclear power plant in place of the standard valves the entire system was safer and five times more efficient. Output would be five times higher meaning five times more cost effective and five times the revenue..."

I could actually suspend disbelief for how this storyline has developed. However, I must apologize for dashing a bucket of ice-cold reality across the above paragraph. Sorry, but real-life cost-savings do not work that way.

You promised no unfinished stories. One of my great frustrations of lit

A really gripping story, with that action ending and a twist in the tail....

Thanks, well done and look forward to any future contributions.

Damnit !! It's 3:44 in the morning and i have to work in the morning!

Was just going to read one more page!

Could not stop reading. Hoping for more. Love this story please keep writing.

Great story couldn't stop reading it. Hope is continues. Hope you have written other stories. You are definitely a favorite.

Love the story, well worth the wait. I understand that you have some other story premises you need to get off your mind, but hope you'll continue with this one in the not too distant future. Thanks for the great read!

What a great story. I really enjoyed it. Keep writing, and be proud all these pooches will live long, happy lives.

IS this the end? Will there be another chapter? Will ben sleep with Lisa, lori and/or tina again? I love this story and eagerly await if their will be a continuation. Why do i get the feeling that something kinky is on the horizon?Will there be anal? so many questions, which indicate that this story is great.

Nice story! It kinda edged too much on the goody-Two-shoes stereotype, but it came out fine