The Smallholder Pt. 03

"It's the stupidity of it," she explained. "So pointless. In other respects he's a nice man. What a fool!" She left the table and poured the tea, setting the mugs on the table with some of his home made biscuits.

They looked at one another, seeing the one they loved, and wondering how to start. This was a novel experience for Joseph, whose inner peace usually allowed him to speak his mind gently and to the point without undue preparation.

"Angela, my love," he began and she smiled at those words. "I've had time to think, lying in the hospital. I mean about what we decided on Friday."

"So have I." she answered. "And-"

"Can I finish?" he asked gently, reaching out to cover her hand with his own, and she stopped in mid-sentence and gave him an encouraging smile.

"Angela, I don't want us to separate. I want you to keep on coming at weekends, and I want us to grow closer. I think-"

"I'm glad of that," she interrupted, this time intent on her own news. "I realised I don't want to be coming each weekend."

His face dropped, but she gestured him to wait.

She continued, "Because I learned a lot from that attack and being here on my own. Mary said I was farmer's wife material, when she saw how I coped, so I went to see my boss and gave in my resignation. I want to move here permanently, if you'll have me?"

Joseph's face was immediately wreathed in smiles and he reached for her other hand with his own.

"Oh yes, my love," then his expression changed to worry. "Are you sure that's what you want? Jobs are hard to find-"

"Joseph, I won't be looking for a job, not now, not ever. If you get tired of me, I'll find something, but I'm not going anywhere until you throw me out."

He looked so happy. She couldn't remember him ever looking so deeply happy and content as he did at that moment. She remembered his serenity and peace but she'd never seen such exuberance of excitement.

In his turn, he saw deep love and steely determination in her eyes.

"How soon?" he asked. "You need to give notice, don't you?" He realised with some amazement he had never asked exactly what she did at work.

"My boss saw what happened on the news, and anyway he's been keeping up to date with what he called my 'other job' and sometimes my 'love life'. I think he's been expecting me to resign, 'cos he's already got someone lined up for my job as his PA.

"So he's wrangled me my complete annual holiday allowance and that's the same as my notice period, so I have already left this morning before coming to you! He does want me to keep in touch and act as consultant if he needs me. I get a golden parachute as well! He actually made me retract my resignation, and promptly sacked me so I could get severance pay. He really is a sentimental old darling!"

"So, when?" Joseph asked, and she saw her erstwhile balanced, placid lover even more eager.

"Today if you want me."

He sighed with relief. "I want you. You are sure about this?"

"How many times do I have to tell you, Joseph? Yes, I'm certain. I can go back to the flat today and begin moving my stuff. Oh!" she looked worried. "You won't want all my stuff cluttering the house up."

"Bring it all, and we can take it from there."

He paused.

"There are a couple of things first though," he said.

She looked puzzled.

"We need to seal the deal, but not in here," and he grinned. She saw immediately what he had in mind and stood as he did, putting out her hand for his.

"Yes," she said, "let's seal it with more than just a kiss! You said a couple of things. What-"

Before she could ask the question he took her hand, dropped to one knee before her. "Shall we plan on marrying, my love?"

It was clear this was the last thing she expected. For a moment she looked confused, then a huge smile crossed her face and her eyes sparkled then began to water.

"Goodness!" she said, "You don't waste any time once you've made up you mind, do you?"

"Well?" he said with a certain intensity, "This kitchen floor is very cold and very hard on the knee."

She dropped to her own two knees rather too swiftly, to face him. "Ouch!" she giggled, as her knees hit the stone, then she became ultra-serious.

"Oh Joseph, my sweetheart, of course we must marry. Thank you for asking!"

They both burst out laughing at the unusual proposal and even more unusual rather prim reply. Then the laugher ceased as he gathered her into his arms and they kissed at length, kneeling together on the kitchen floor.

"I've not been taking the pill since the attack," she said. "You do understand what that means? You'd better be serious about us getting married."

"I've never been more serious, and I'm really glad you're off the pill."

He stood, lifted her up, swept her into his strong arms, gasped with the pain from his bruised ribs, but carried her onwards into the bedroom.

He put her down and she immediately began to shed her clothes until she was naked, and meanwhile he had done the same. The room was warm so they lay on top of the bedding. Joseph kissed her hotly, then trailed his kisses down her body over her breasts and down further, when she stopped him.

"No lover, I want you now. I want you now."

She pulled him up so he was covering her. She placed him where she wanted him and he pushed into her deeply while she gasped and panted and grabbed his bottom, spreading her legs wider and pushing him further in till his root was pressed on her mound. Everything felt tight to both.

She was tilting and raising her hips even before he began to thrust in her.

"That's it, my Joseph, my man! Harder! Harder!"

He did as he was told, his bottom cheeks flexing as he withdrew then buried himself in her again and again, while she cried out with each thrust.

"Oh, Joseph, so good! You animal! So fucking good! Love me sweetheart! Fuck your pussy!"

He was amazed at her language, its earthiness and bawdiness. Susan had never said a word when they coupled, beyond wordless grunts, moans and cries. Angela was something else! But he could not reciprocate, but cried out wordlessly in his deep baritone with each pounding push.

She came with a high pitched scream, forced from her stretched vocal chords by the power of her climax, as she shook with the tremors of it.

Feeling this, he lost himself and gave a strangled roar, feeling the life forcing itself from him, once, twice, and more.

Slowly the intensity waned and he fell panting onto her prone body, her razor nipples pricking his chest. She rejoiced in the weight of him, and pulled him more tightly to her, causing a groan of pain from his bruised chest, at which she pushed him up.

"So sorry," she moaned, "I forgot how hurt-"

"Ssh!" he whispered, "It's all right."

He moved off her and they embraced, entwining legs and holding each other close. They sighed.

"We really are engaged now, aren't we?" she giggled at the double entendre, than added "Really together for good?" It was not really a question, but he answered anyway.

"Yes, we really are together. We are a family now."

She loved that thought.

By common consent, they did not lie together for long. Joseph wanted to take her into town to buy her a ring, and then onward to take a load of her possessions from the flat. They took the Range Rover since it had more room,

There was some argument over the ring, he wanting a more expensive diamond and she wanting to save him money. He won. The ring was gold, with a large diamond surrounded by a cluster of small ones. Fortunately it fitted her finger without needing to be altered. At the same time they chose matching wedding rings which did need adjusting, and so were left with the jeweller.

Then on to her flat, she glancing at her ring every few minutes and sighing contentedly. She left a change of clothes and some toiletries in case she needed to stay there overnight before the lease ran out, and they loaded the car to the roof with her favourite possessions. There would be many more trips before all she wanted had been moved, and the lease terminated.

They put all her things in one of the big rooms at the head of the stairs, and then it was time to see to the animals, meditation and an early night. It may have been an early night, but it was quite some time, taken up with energetic exercise, before Angela eventually fell into a satiated sleep.

Joseph did not sleep immediately. In his half awake, half asleep state he had a picture of a wet and shivering young woman on a dark hillside, and the start of something so amazing he could never have imagined it. Now with this same beautiful woman sleeping with contentment written all over her pretty face, he knew that until this day he had not been fully whole.

Oh, he had been content after a fashion, but this fulness, completeness, far surpassed anything he could have hoped for. God could not 'add' anything more to his happiness unless of course He granted them children, and Joseph felt deep gratitude as he fell asleep in his turn.

For the first time since Angela had first awoken in his bed she came to consciousness before Joseph, in the darkness of the very early morning. She felt his bulk next to her, as she lay on her side facing his broad back. In that darkness, that peace, she knew for certain that she had made the right decision: she had never ever felt so much at home as she did here, with him. How little she needed to be happy, to be deeply content! A sense of complete security and love swept over her, and she pressed herself gently against his back.

---

Postscript.

July 2014

Joseph uncurled himself from his lotus position on the floor of the study after his evening meditation. The little altar that had been in the living room had been moved into the study, and the old photos had gone, their place taken by three new ones, one of Joseph and Angela on their wedding day, and one of little Annabel standing triumphantly with a huge grin on her little face – 'Look I can stand up!' The third was of Angela with baby Jonathan in her arms. Unlike two of the three previous photographs, these were all of the living rather than the dead. The dead had been forgiven and laid to rest.

He emerged from the study, his bare feet enjoying the carpets which now graced all the floors, and made his way into the living room.

As he entered Angela looked up from her position on the sofa, where she had been breast-feeding Jonathan. Her beautiful face was the picture of serenity and peaceful calm, and his heart surged with love for her, as it had so often before. The baby was asleep in her arms and his little face looked content.

"You make a lovely picture," he said quietly so as not to wake the baby. "I think feeding him is as good as a meditation session for you."

"Yes," she said. "In fact I do meditate while he feeds. My mind centres well, because it centres on him."

"You know that woman, the one who took shelter in the kitchen this afternoon from the rain," he volunteered, "She said how restful the house was, and how happy you seemed. She wished she was as stress-free and happy you were."

"You remember how we were so uncertain that I would survive the life here? How worried?" She smiled. "It was all unnecessary. Our friends keep visiting; we hardly get a weekend to ourselves. They love it here."

"Yes, and it was poor Trevor Graham, who was the catalyst to bring you here and by his vendetta was the reason our fears were overruled," he reflected. "Strange that so much ill-will could bring about our life together. He should be out of prison now."

"I think he's learned his lesson, I couldn't believe it when he asked us to visit him, and he was so different. Somehow more settled, less aggressive." She sighed. "I hope so."

"He said he'd had time to think, and that's certainly true. I think he knows now he can just be himself. He said he couldn't believe in retrospect what he'd done, and how ungrateful he'd been – how violent."

"I think he needed that time in prison, like you needed that time at the Monastery. I hope he comes out of it as well balanced as you did." She shifted on the sofa, but the baby did not stir. "Time for bed," she said. "Another busy day tomorrow. I love these early summer mornings."

Joseph stooped to pick up the baby. "You are such a natural farmer's wife, exactly as Barry and Mary predicted."

"I can't think of living any other sort of life now. Compared with this, my life was really pretty empty. You fill my life now – and our two little devils of course."

"And you mine," he kissed her forehead. "So all is well."

"Julian of Norwich was right," she smiled at her husband standing there holding their son, looking so much at ease. "All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well."

It was true; they both knew it, and off they went to bed.