The Substitute

I know that it... well, it kind-of clung to Melanie's curves. It was completely opaque, mind you. So the garment hid everything from sight; but at the same time left very little to the imagination, if you understand me. Jesus, I had no difficulty in discerning that Melanie was naked as the moment she was born beneath it.

You know, from my perspective, it looked like Mel had completely capitulated, and that kinda took all the fun out of the game for me. If not out of the scenery I was treated to in that stateroom that night, and I had been around the boat's swimming pool earlier.

I'll admit that I'd expected Melanie to emerge from the bathroom dressed in... well, I'm not quite sure really. Maybe, what you might refer to as a granny nightgown. Or even, one of the engine-room crew's boiler suits. Definitely not a sheer nightdress, that hardly stretched halfway down her thighs.

I think I was bewitched by the sight of her for a few minutes. I know I had to quickly remember that I was supposed to be lustfully leering at her. Hey, maybe I was doing just that anyway; I'm buggered if I can remember now. I do believe I must have been in a state of shock for a while.

I watched in amazement, as Melanie flicked the main cover (or duvet) from bed and then slid under the modesty sheet.

A little explanation here might help folks, from less warm climes, understand that last statement. Generally the duvet's outer cover substitutes for a top sheet. However, in warmer climes, where one might decide to sleep without the benefit of the duvet -- especially when house staff might enter your bedroom with breakfast etcetera -- then very often a top (or modesty) sheet is used. Saves a lot of embarrassment all round, if you understand me. Especially if you are wont to sleep in the nude.

Now where the sod was I? Oh yeah, leering at Melanie as she slid into the bloody great bed.

"Well!" she demanded, "are you going to shower, or not?"

"Oh, definitely a shower, girl. I can be quite civilised when I want to be, you know."

"I can't believe that you're going to make me go through with this," she added, glowering at me again.

I just grinned back at Melanie and picked up my travel bag.

"Damn-it, Kevin; turn that ruddy light off, will you... please!" she replied to the 'leer' I'd given her in answer to her previous statement.

In response, I turned on the wall light at the end of the sofa I'd been sitting... no, watching the show from, and then turned off the cabin's main light. Melanie had turned the small bedside light on beside where she was lying. Then I headed into the en suite to carry out my own ablutions.

Taking as much time about it as I possibly could; I showered, shaved and splashed on some expensive antiperspirant (smellies) that Gail had bought me some time back.

"You'll have to fight them off!" Gail had grinned, when she gave it to me.

Then having left it -- I hoped -- long enough, I slipped on a t-shirt and a pair of beach shorts. Hey, I took as much time as I could because... well, I had been playing mind games with Mel all day and I was still playing. I hope you didn't think that I was the kind of person who would really take advantage of the situation she had found myself in. Christ, that would smack of desperation, and I'd never been that desperate for a... no leave it, you know what I'm talking about.

For some reason, I turned the bathroom light off before I opened the door. I can't be sure now, but I do believe that I was hoping that either Mel wouldn't be able to see me -- and how I was dressed -- in the dark. Or alternatively -- as was to turn out to be the case -- she might have fallen asleep. Technically, either scenario would mean that the game was still on -- for a while a least -- if you understand me.

Melanie didn't stir as I exited the bathroom. As quietly as I could, I went over to the bed and stared down for a little while at the vision of beauty lying there. Then I turned out her bedside light, and made my way back over to the sofa, where I made myself comfortable for the night. I do believe that I was asleep within moments of turning the wall-light off. Well, it had been a long day for me and I always find travel tiring.

-----

I have no idea what time the sun, wending its way through the cabin's curtained windows, woke me. Probably later than I first thought, because I'm sure I read somewhere that for complicated geometrical reasons, the dawn comes slightly later in the lower latitudes. And Naples must be at least a thousand miles south of London.

Whatever, Melanie was still dead to the world, and it looked to me as if she hadn't stirred much all night. Well, maybe just a little; that sheet wasn't quite as high as I remembered it from the night before.

I rose, washed and changed into a shirt and a pair of slacks, then settled back on the sofa and got out my sketchpad and gear. From there, instinct took over.

Sorry, that's me. If I see something that... well, gets to me; then I have to draw it. Yeah, you might take a photograph, but I draw, sketch and even sometimes paint later. That's what artists do, you know. And if you haven't worked it out by now, I do -- as in draw and paint -- the naked female form. Only on this occasion -- for diplomatic reasons -- I'd decided to include my own interpretation of Mel's nightdress do-what's-it.

Again, I have no idea how long I was sketching Melanie before she awoke. It must have been some considerable time though, because I'd almost completed the sketch and I'd begun to think about finding another perspective to view her from.

"What are you doing?" Melanie suddenly broke the silence -- except for the faint hum coming of the air-conditioning vents -- in the cabin.

"Sketching," I replied.

Yeah well, I'd have thought that was obvious, so she got the obvious answer.

But I don't think Melanie was listening, by then she was sitting up in the bed and apparently staring at the side of the bed that she'd expected me to sleep in. Well, for some of the night anyway; if you understand where I'm coming from.

"You didn't...?"

"No, Mel... we definitely didn't! I know that for some reason you've always thought I was one; but I can assure that I'm not a complete arsehole; not by a long chalk. And I'm certainly not desperate enough to take advantage of an old friend. Even if the silly cow has painted herself into a corner."

"Kevin Matlow, you're a real bastard! You had me convinced yesterday that..."

"That what, Mel? That I was as big an arsehole as Billy Thornton was hoping to be? He certainly would have been playing hide the parcel with you all night."

"Kevin, you don't really think that I would have let him, do you?"

"Melanie. This is a bedroom, and that there thing you've been lying on all night, is a bed. And what's more, you've got sweet FA on under that... er, what-d'ya call it, you've got on."

"Tiger!"

"Tiger?"

"Never mind, Kevin. It's comfortable to sleep in, and it's never let me down in the... well, it's comfortable and that's what's important. Anyway what are you drawing there?" She asked, sliding out from under the sheet, coming over to where I was sitting and taking my sketchpad from my hand.

"Oh my! Is that me?"

"Well it ain't supposed to be Shirley Temple, that's for bleeding sure!"

"Kevin, I wasn't criticizing. Actually, I think you've flattered me! You've made me look like a film star or something. Is that how you see me?"

"I draw what I see, Mel... a beautiful and alluring woman lying... sleeping on a bed."

"You did away with the sheet."

"I used a little imagination." I made a point of looking down at Melanie's legs. "Yeah, much as I remember them from yesterday."

"Huh?"

"Mel, one has difficulty in deciding what was more revealing, that bikini you had on yesterday or that whatever-it-is you have on now."

"Oh, I see, you remembered my legs from yesterday. Got the hem a little high though, haven't you?"

"Artistic licence. Besides, it rode up like hell as you got into bed last night."

For some reason I couldn't work out, Mel seemed to smile when I said that. I'd've thought she would have been annoyed or embarrassed, but she showed no sign of either.

"What's this you've written at the bottom? If tomorrow never comes!"

"It's the title of a song. I give all my pictures names."

"Oh yes, Ronan Keating sang it didn't he?"

"He did, but it's actually a Garth Brooks number. Keating covered it."

"But..." Melanie said, stepping backwards and sitting on the edge of the bed.

"But what, Mel?"

"Well, it's a love song."

"So? That's a picture of a love-ly woman. A lovely woman who can be a real bitch when she chooses to be; but that's nothing unusual! However still a beautiful woman."

A rather strange expression came over Melanie's face. "Kevin..." she said, but then fell silent.

"Yes."

"Did you really think I was such a bitch when we were younger?"

"I don't know about the younger bit, Melanie. I think you are a real bitch... and I suspect, that if you didn't need my help now, you'd still be acting like one towards me."

"Oh, my God. Kevin, I never meant... well, I did mean to... but I never intended you to think... I was only trying to..."

Yeah well, if you've never been on the receiving end of a conversation like that, then you don't know what you've missed. All you can do, is sit back and wait until the person speaking decides to add a few explanatory endings to their sentences.

My trouble -- that day -- was that Melanie did not add any explanatory endings to any of those sentences. She went on with her confusing half sentences and then suddenly broke down in tears.

Crying I did understand the meaning of. As to the why Melanie should suddenly become so upset that she turned on the water works? Yeah well, I had no idea what had caused her to do that.

Well, I was still trying to make some sense out of all those incomplete exclamations Melanie had rambled off, just a few seconds before. Hey, there were a whole load more of them than I've quoted here; my memory ain't that clever.

Now what does one do with a weeping woman? Yeah, good question; I can't say that up to that time on my life I'd had to deal with many. Well, not since the days of scraped knees and twisted ankles when I'd been a kid, I hadn't. And I'll admit that first sight of a couple of my works, had brought tears to the sitter's eyes, but nothing like how Melanie was going on.

Oh, and I'd seen Gail upset a few times over the years, but I usually felt, rather than saw that. Gail had always been a very physical person, and well, she tended to clock me one, if I upset her. Not that I minded all that much, she never hit me very hard. And well, to clout me she had to get close to me and... Yeah well, I told you my relationship with Gail was very physical, so once she was within grabbing and hugging distance... All transgressions kinda took a back seat, if you understand me. If you don't, you've lived a much too sheltered life!

I wasn't too sure if I was doing the right thing or not, but I went over and sat beside Melanie, put my arm around her shoulders and gave her a little hug. Well, a hug usually did the trick with Gail, so I kinda hoped it would do the same where Melanie was concerned.

I suppose you might say that it did, and didn't, at the same time.

Mel kept up the crying bit. Well I think she did; I couldn't see her face as she was suddenly pushing it into my chest.

No, damn-it a line from an old Nat King Cole number popped into my head. Melanie 'snuggled her head into my chest.'

I was still trying to work out why that song had jumped into my brain when Melanie, with a faltering voice asked. "Was I really that bad?"

"A real bitch, girl, especially to Gail." I replied gently

"Well, what did she expect, she stole you from right under my nose, didn't she?"

Hey, there was some real venom in that statement. But by then, I was completely confused. Mind you, that was nothing new for me when women are around.

"How do you work that one out, Mel?" I asked, actually pushing her away a little so that I could see her face.

She stared up into my eyes and dropped the bomb on me. "Well, you were my boyfriend and Gail stole you away from me, didn't she!"

"Funny, that no bugger had ever bothered to mention to me, that Melanie and I had been considered a couple at the time?" Was the immediate question that jumped into my head.

"Mel, you and I were never a couple in the romantic sense."

"Maybe you didn't think so, but all the rest of the gang did!"

"But..." was all I could think of to reply.

Actually I was doing a quick mental recap, had Mel ever made any... well, romantic overtures, to me back then? Come to that, had I ever made any romantic overtures towards Melanie? Yeah I knew that at one time I was kinda wishing I had the nerve too, but... Yeah, there were all those macho guys kicking around and I'd seen how Melanie had seen the buggers off, if you understand me. Sodding embarrassing for the poor fools, I can assure you.

I had been at the age where I was just beginning to... well appreciate that females had other advantages besides making up the numbers when we were short of a full football team of guys. And considering the opposition, I'd kinda figured that Melanie was way out of my league. Shit Melanie wasn't just out of my league she was playing a whole different ballgame to me back then.

"Look Mel, I'm a little confused here. Are you telling me...?"

"Yes I am!" Mel blurted out, before I could finish my question. Which confused me even more.

But Melanie, you were going out with..." Shit, I couldn't remember Mel's first boyfriend's name.

"I only went out with Rowland, to try to make you jealous. After all, you were hung up on Gail at the time. I figured that if I showed interest in someone else, you might... but you didn't!"

"Er Mel, exactly where did you get the idea that I was hung-up on Gail when we were kids?"

"You told me yourself."

"I did... When?"

"In the school dining room a couple of weeks before the spring dance."

"News to me Mel! Buggered if I can remember it."

"We were sitting at a table together... Just the two of us. I told the other girls to leave us in peace because I thought that you were going ask me to go to the dance with you."

"Can't say I can recall the incident, off-hand."

"Well, that's what I and everyone else thought you were going to do that day. But all you seemed to be worried about was, whether Gail was going to be well enough to go to the dance. She'd been away from school for a few weeks with the chickenpox. Remember the day now.

"Oh yeah, I think I do. But you were... well, Rowland or whatever his name was, was all over you that day as I recall. And besides, I had no intention of asking Gail to go to the school dance. Well, the thought never crossed my mind; she was still in quarantine anyway. No one had been allowed near her for weeks and I thought she might like a one of us to call in to see her. I think, I was the only one of our crowd, who'd already had the chickenpox; so I was immune."

"You mean that you weren't going to ask Gail to the dance?"

"Jesus Melanie, had you ever seen me dance back then?"

"Well, no."

"Besides, she'd still have been in quarantine and dancing weren't really my thing back then anyway; until Gail taught me how."

"Yes, but... you and Gail went out together, didn't you?"

"Oh yeah, but for a very long time it was... well platonic really. Gail and I were like the odd ones out, if you remember? No one ever asked Gail out, and for some inexplicable reason I was..."

"You were what?"

"Well, all the girls I fancied were taken. Or..."

"Or, what?"

"Alright, for some reason I couldn't discern at the time, one had turned into a spiteful little bitch, and none of her friends would give me the time of day either!"

"You would have asked me to go out with you?

"I should imagine so; once I'd got up the nerve."

"Oh god, I messed up big time didn't I? I put the word out on you. I told the other girls that you weren't to be trusted and to stay well clear."

"Sorry Mel, I don't understand."

"Kevin, I got it all wrong. There I was, expecting you to ask me to the school dance that day, and you started waffling on, talking about Gail. I thought... Well, I got mad and tried to make you jealous. I think now, that it all backfired on me. The more I tried to make you jealous... well, the closer I must have been pushing you and Gail together. Silly bitch!

"Then I got mad at Gail as well, but I suppose all I achieved then, was to push you further away, wasn't it?"

I was having just a little difficulty in getting my head around what Melanie was trying to tell me. Not surprising, what with all her half-made statements. I had to kinda make some sense of it, as we went along. But I'm not completely dumb -- well I wasn't by that time in my life -- I played it very low key.

"Ooh-ah, Mel. Is this some kind of an admission?"

"Jesus, Kev, you know it is! I misjudged everything, I thought... and all the time..."

"Melanie, can we stick to complete sentences please? I'm confused enough, as it is!"

"Damn it, Kev, I was jealous of Gail when I saw you two together and... oh god, I went about everything the wrong way, didn't I? Of course you were 'funny' with me when we met, because I'd always being a bitch to you."

"Mel!"

"Kevin, I'm sorry. I hung around close to the gang when we were children, just to be near to you. I think I was infatuated with you from the start, but we were just kids back then. Then I think I must have gone through puberty a little sooner than you did. You were worried about Gail that day, just because she was one of the gang, weren't you?"

"Sure I was. Remember I'd been through that quarantine lark the year before; I knew what it was like being stuck in-doors for weeks on end and watching all the other kids playing out in the street."

"And I thought that concern was something it wasn't, and I got jealous. Christ, did I mess everything up! Now you're going to tell me, that you would have asked me to go to the dance with you."

"I should imagine so, if you'd hinted that you wanted me to take you... and I'd got the chance before that twerp did."

I didn't really want to let my guard down just yet, but Mel had me convinced that she'd misread my concern for Gail as affection... Yeah well, it was affection, but for a friend not... Oh bugger, I'm doing it now! Anyway, I'm sure from what I told you earlier you get my drift.

"So you set about making Gail and my lives a living hell, because you were jealous?"

"Yes, I'm sorry. I got really peed-off with you because you preferred Gail over me, after I'd followed you around like a lost puppy for so long. I suppose you're going to leave now aren't you?"

"I am; why?"

"Because now you know why I was always such a bitch to you... and Gail."

"And that changes what? We had a deal didn't we; I'm suppose to play your intended until we can ditch the Barmon's'."

"But..."

"But what, Melanie?"

"I was such a bitch..."

"Melanie there's an old saying... a couple actually. 'A deal is a deal!' and 'Better the bitch you know, than the bitch you don't know!' I made a deal with a bitch, and I intend to stick to my end of the bargain."

"You are, but why?"

"Because Mel... that's all... just because!"

"Bugger, I did make a real mess of things back then, didn't I?"

"You said it, girl!"

"Lend me your mobile phone please, Kevin?"

For some inexplicable reason, without even thinking about it, I found myself moving back to the sofa and retrieving my mobile phone from my art case. But as I held it out for Melanie to take, I began to wonder; considering that she had a phone of her own.

"Why, do you want my phone, Mel?"