The Taming of the SF Dominatrix

The official title of this work is, "The Taming of the San Francisco Dominatrix," which was more than 35 characters, so had to be altered in the title. This play is a parody of William Shakespeare's farcical comedy, "The Taming of the Shrew." It was written specifically for Literotica's 2024 April Fool's Day contest, and is chock full of humor, deception, and plenty of disguises! Please vote and comment on the story. Enjoy!

© 2024 by Roy Eldorado

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ACT 1, SCENE 1

(LUTHER and TRAVIS, two 20-something bachelors from Seattle hoping to sow their wild oats, arrive in San Francisco. Both men are lean and attractive, and have similar looks -- brown floppy hair, brown eyes, pearly-white smiles.)

LUTHER: So this is it. San Francisco. Wow. Isn't it amazing, Travis? We have the bay, and the Golden Gate Bridge, and all of this wonderful art and culture.

TRAVIS: And the homeless people.

LUTHER: Yes, and the homeless people.

TRAVIS: And the crime. Did you leave the windows rolled down in the car? To let the heroin addicts know that we don't have anything worth stealing?

LUTHER: I did not leave the windows rolled down. That's ridiculous.

TRAVIS: Well, that pretty much guarantees your car will be broken into when we get back.

LUTHER: Nonsense. My car will be fine. This is San Francisco, a truly welcoming community! It's the home of fetish and sexual exploration! I love it! I want to explore! Let's ride a trolley! Let's take a cable car into town!

(They take a cable car into the city. They get off outside a BDSM club called The Riding Crop, a San Francisco fetish club that also features an oxygen bar. There is a small gathering of people outside. There appears to be an argument or disagreement happening.)

(LUTHER and TRAVIS stand to the side.)

(BARTHOLOMEW, the flamboyant manager of The Riding Crop, enters with two BDSM escorts named KINSLEY, who is a dominatrix, and BOBI, who is a submissive. Two potential clients named HARVEY and GEORGE also enter the scene. HARVEY is in his early 30s, slender, nerdy, and wears glasses. GEORGE is in his late 60s, a wealthy gray-haired widower who takes Viagra.)

BARTHOLOMEW: Gentlemen, please. You need to calm down. We've been over this a hundred times: no one can do a session with Bobi until I find a play partner for Kinsley. If either of you want to strike up a conversation with Kinsley, you can rent a playroom in the club for half price.

GEORGE: Strike up a conversation? I'd just as well stick heroin needles in my eyes.

KINSLEY (to BARTHOLOMEW): Are you trying to embarrass me in front of these two morons? I don't need your help finding a client.

HARVEY: Morons? That's no way to do business, insulting us like this. That's why nobody wants to play with you. Your reputation speaks for itself: you're rude, and crude, and you need to learn some manners.

KINSLEY: I need to learn manners? Ha! I don't think so. I'm not looking for clients right now, anyway! But even if I was, I wouldn't want to dominate you! Unless I wanted to black your eyes with my fists, or tie you up and crush your balls in a vice grip!

HARVEY (covering his genitals): Ouch. I'll stay clear of you, then.

GEORGE: This woman is bat-shit crazy.

TRAVIS (speaking to LUTHER): Hide the family jewels, good friend. That wench is a few cards short of a full deck. Not bad looking, but a lunatic just the same. You gotta love San Francisco.

LUTHER (speaking to TRAVIS): But the other girl is absolutely stunning, Travis! So sexy and mild-mannered! I'd love to tie her up!

BARTHOLOMEW (to HARVEY and GEORGE): So that's the deal. These are the rules of the club. No one can top Bobi until I find a bottom for Kinsley. All escorts must have an equal number of clients -- call it equity, if you will. Plus, Kinsley has worked at the club much longer. Bobi, go inside and continue practicing your rope-tying. You're not going to be a submissive your whole life.

HARVEY: I can't believe these ridiculous club rules. Equity my ass. Our money is just as green as anyone else's.

GEORGE: Yeah, this is quite frustrating. Why keep Bobi from everybody and force us all to deal with the dominatrix from hell? You know I heard that during one of her play sessions, she actually put a guy's testicles in a vice-grip.

HARVEY: Unthinkable.

GEORGE: It's the truth.

BARTHOLOMEW: Okay, gentleman. Enough of this. I made the rules clear. I need to get back inside, I have a fetish club to run. If either of you know of anybody who would like to hire Kinsley, let me know. You have full permission to do a session with her. Oh yes, and I almost forgot. I'm looking for instructors in the BDSM community who are experienced in flogging and rope-tying. Kinsley and Bobi need to brush up on their skills. It's not easy running a fetish club in San Francisco. So many perverts, so little talent. Good day, gentlemen.

(He exits).

GEORGE: Well, that's a bummer. Bobi is so beautiful and obedient -- a wonderful submissive. I bet I could get her off with a good paddling, even at my age. I don't know about you, but I'm going to check around the city and see if I can't find someone to teach the girls flogging and rope-tying. Seriously. This might be a good way to get in with Bartholomew.

HARVEY: That's a great idea. The best way to get a session with Bobi is by keeping Bartholomew happy. But there's something else I'd like to do as well.

GEORGE: What's that?

HARVEY: We need to find a play partner for Kinsley. That should come first. We should put aside our differences and work together to get her a client.

GEORGE: Huh? Are you serious? Who in the world would want to do a session with that lunatic?

HARVEY: I don't know, but we'll find somebody. We have to. If not, having a play session with Bobi is out of the question. What do you say, George? Work together to find her a partner?

GEORGE: It's a deal. Let's find someone to woo her, screw her, and rid the club of her!

(HARVEY and GEORGE exit).

TRAVIS (to LUTHER): No, I don't believe it. You've fallen for this chick, haven't you?

LUTHER: I burn, I pine, I perish, Travis, if I achieve not this modest young girl! She's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen! Her sapphire blue eyes and long, golden blond hair! Oh how I long to handcuff her to the bed!

TRAVIS: Yes, she's beautiful, I agree. But has love made you completely blind and deaf? Did you not hear Bartholomew explaining the club rules? Bobi is off limits.

LUTHER: Did you not hear Bartholomew say he was looking for BDSM teachers for the girls?

TRAVIS: Oh my god! I know what you're thinking!

LUTHER: What am I thinking?

TRAVIS: You will become a BDSM teacher, and offer to be their instructor?

LUTHER: Yes! Here's the plan: I'm going to disguise myself as a fetish tutor -- put on a bunch of leather and spikes and whatnot -- and offer myself as a rope-tying instructor. At the same time, you are going to pretend to be me. Here. Take my Seattle Supersonics cap. (TRAVIS takes the hat and puts it on.) I need you to go to Bartholomew and request a session with Bobi, and get my name on her client list.

TRAVIS: Her client list?

LUTHER: Yes, her list. Because once she is free to take on clients again, I want to officially be in line to have a session with her. You're going to have to advocate for me with Bartholomew. There are already two other guys trying to have a session with her, and I can't risk missing out. Just do as I tell you, okay? Don't ask questions.

TRAVIS: Okay. No problem.

LUTHER: Great. This should be a lot of fun.

(They exit).

ACT 1, SCENE 2

(PHILIBERT, who just inherited a large sum of money from his recently deceased father, arrives in San Francisco from Los Angles. He's a masculine, burly man with a thick head of brown wavy hair, and a heavy beard.)

PHILIBERT: Hello, San Francisco! You're not quite Los Angeles, but you'll have to do! Ah, the shoplifters! The feces on the sidewalks! The heroin addicts exchanging needles! Now that I've inherited my beloved father's money and land, I'm traveling the country in search of the ultimate BDSM partner. Preferably, one who can bring Philibert, son of the great Archibald Van Ginkel, to his limits. But first, I must visit my good friend Harvey. I sure hope he's at home.

(PHILIBERT knocks on HARVEY'S door.)

HARVEY: Philibert! Oh my, it's so good to see you! What are you doing in San Francisco?

PHILIBERT: Well, my good friend, I'm on a mission to see the country, and to find the ultimate BDSM partner. My father Archibald just passed away, and I've inherited his penis pump fortune. It's a great time to be alive, isn't it? And to be here, in San Francisco, with all the fetish clubs and glorious immoral behavior -- the dog collars and rectal fisting and such. Yes sir. You gotta love it, Harvey my boy. Did someone take a dump on your sidewalk?

HARVEY (looking outside through the doorway): Probably, yeah. I'll get the hose in a minute. But did I hear you just say you are looking for a BDSM partner?

PHILIBERT: The ultimate BDSM partner, yes. One that can push my limits. I'm talking flogging, suffocation, cock-and-ball torture. All of it! And face-sitting, too. I love it when a chick smothers my face with her big fat ass! My father just died, Harvey. I'm a rich man now. Life is short. It's time to get down to business.

HARVEY: This is amazing. I don't believe it.

PHILIBERT: What? What is it?

HARVEY: I know just the woman for you.

PHILIBERT: Here? In San Francisco? You're kidding!

HARVEY: I'm serious. Right here in town. She works at The Riding Crop. Decent looking woman, long black hair and brown eyes, curvy body with big breasts, olive complexion, with lots of tattoos and piercings.

PHILIBERT: Does she have a clit ring? Tell me she has a clit ring!

HARVEY: She has a lip and eyebrow ring, I know that. And a nose ring. You'll have to find out yourself about the clit ring. If I were a betting man, however, I'd say she has one. Definitely. But there's just one thing: she's crazy.

PHILIBERT: What do you mean, crazy?

HARVEY: I mean she's nuts. The manager down at The Riding Crop can't even find her any clients. Everyone is afraid of her. There's a rumor going around that she crushed a guy's nuts in a vice grip.

PHILIBERT: I love it! When can I meet her? I won't sleep until I'm introduced!

HARVEY: We can go down to the club this afternoon, if you want. It's right in the city. I'm very excited to take you there. The woman I'm in love with works at the same club. Her name is Bobi, and she's the world's most beautiful submissive. She's not allowed to take on new clients until Kinsley, the dominatrix from hell, gets a playmate first.

PHILIBERT: I see. Show me the way. I can handle this woman, no problem.

HARVEY: Great. But I need you to do me a favor as well. I need you to introduce me -- disguised in a black leather suit and a zipper mask -- to Bartholomew, as a BDSM teacher for Bobi. I will pretend to be experienced in the art of flogging. This way, I will be able to get alone with the beautiful young submissive, and win her over.

PHILIBERT: No problem. But wait, who's that coming down the street? Do you hear that? Right outside? It sounds like people are talking.

(HARVEY glances out his window, and sees GEORGE talking with another man.)

HARVEY: That's George, a rival for my love. Shhh, let's stay here and listen.

(HARVEY and PHILIBERT stay off to the side.)

(GEORGE is outside talking to LUTHER, who is disguised as CHADWICK, a BDSM teacher who's expert in the art of rope-tying. He is wearing a rubber body suit and rubber hood, with the eyes and mouth cut out. GEORGE is unaware of the disguise, and thinks he's found a genuine BDSM instructor to present to Bartholomew to teach the girls how to tie bondage knots.)

GEORGE: Wow, so many options here. Let me see. I want you to get me 25 feet of this white nylon rope, 25 feet of the cotton bondage rope, one spreader bar, and two pair of wrist restraints. Throw in two bondage straps for good measure. And I want all these items gift wrapped and perfumed, so I can present them to Bartholomew when I introduce you to him.

LUTHER (disguised as CHADWICK): No problem. I will get all of these items and bring them to you shortly. This is San Francisco, after all. They probably sell bondage gear in Walmart.

GEORGE: Wonderful. I will definitely pay you handsomely for this. But what will you teach Bobi?

LUTHER (disguised as CHADWICK): Just the basics of knot-tying, things like that. I'll keep it simple and easy. And don't worry, I'll plead your case to her. I'll talk you up, and make you seem like the best play partner in all of California. She'll want you on her client list, guaranteed.

GEORGE: Oh, how I love education!

PHILIBERT (looking out HARVEY'S window): Is that man wearing full bondage gear, right in broad daylight? Only in San Francisco!

HARVEY: Shhh, Philibert. Please.

(GEORGE hears HARVEY'S voice through the open window, spots him standing there with PHILIBERT, and waves to him.)

(HARVEY and PHILIBERT come outside.)

HARVEY: Good afternoon, George. Nice day, isn't it?

GEORGE: Hello, Harvey. Yes, a glorious day. Allow me to introduce you to Chadwick, a BDSM instructor, expert in rope-tying. I promised Bartholomew I'd find him a bondage teacher to work with the fair and virtuous Bobi, and Chadwick here responded immediately to my ad in the newspaper. His experience using ropes and restraints is second to none, I can assure you. He's in the process of getting me some bondage gear to present to Bartholomew as a gift as well. We're heading over to The Riding Crop later this afternoon.

HARVEY: That's great. I actually just hired an expert flogger for Bobi, too. We're visiting The Riding Crop later today. Bartholomew will be very impressed. He'll know I'm serious about becoming a client of my beloved Bobi.

GEORGE: You mean my beloved, as all my hard work will prove.

HARVEY: George, now is not the time for us to fight and bicker. If you could take a deep breath for a moment, I'd like to share some good news with you -- news that will benefit us all.

GEORGE: I'm listening.

HARVEY (presenting PHILIBERT): Here is an old friend of mine, Philibert. He's agreed to be a play partner of Kinsley, to be a regular client of hers. He has some stipulations, of course. He's into extreme cock-and-ball torture, and would love to have his dick pounded with a hammer. All kidding aside. He's into suffocation and flogging, too. And face sitting. He loves to be smothered by big round asses. His limits need to be pushed. If not, forget about it. He has no time for bullshit vanilla play sessions.

GEORGE: If he's serious and means what he says, great. But have you told him about Kinsley's flaws?

PHILIBERT: I heard. I know she can be annoying, and has a loud mouth. Not a big deal.

GEORGE: But what about the fact that she's crazy, and completely out of her mind? She crushed a man's testicles in a vice grip, you know.

PHILIBERT: And?

GEORGE: And do you think you can handle her?

PHILIBERT: Of course I can. Why else would I be standing here? A little noise from a crazy woman doesn't bother me, I can assure you! I might not be from San Francisco, I might not live in a tent on the street and shit on the sidewalk, but I have years of experience handling crazy women! I've been to the most extreme BDSM clubs in the country, even the ones in New York's red light district! Plus, I was in the Army and fought in the Middle East! I've seen snipers blow off people's heads, and men step on IEDs! Do you think some woman's tongue, or a vice grip, is going to frighten me! Shame on you!

HARVEY: Philibert fears nothing. But look. Who comes here?

(TRAVIS, disguised as LUTHER, approaches the men on the street.).

TRAVIS (as LUTHER): Excuse me gentlemen, but does anybody have directions to The Riding Crop?

GEORGE: You're not trying to schedule a play session, are you?

TRAVIS (as LUTHER): As a matter of fact, I am.

PHILIBERT: Not a session with the crazy woman, I assume.

TRAVIS (as LUTHER): No way. I'm not into having my nuts crushed.

HARVEY: Wait a minute, sir. Are you trying to schedule with Bobi?

TRAVIS (as LUTHER): If I say yes, is it a problem?

GEORGE: Not if you leave now and put that idea out of your mind forever.

TRAVIS (as LUTHER): Leave now? Why? Don't I have the right to enjoy a little BDSM now and again?

GEORGE: Not with Bobi.

TRAVIS (as LUTHER): And why not?

GEORGE: Because she's the chosen love of George, of course.

HARVEY: Because she's the chosen love of Harvey, you mean.

TRAVIS (as LUTHER): Relax guys. This is a free country, and The Riding Crop is open to all paying customers. Why don't we all get lunch together and have a few drinks. Afterward, we can head over to the club together and see what's going on.

HARVEY: That's a good idea, actually. Let's do it. The first drink is on me. Philibert, I'll pick up your tab since you are a guest at my house.

(They all exit.)

ACT 2, SCENE 1

(KINSLEY and BOBI enter the main playroom at The Riding Crop. KINSLEY, who is dressed in heels, black fishnet stockings and a black leather corset, has BOBI's wrists bound to a wooden cross. BOBI is wearing a purple lace teddy and panties. She's also wearing beautiful diamond earrings and a matching necklace given to her by one of her clients.)

BOBI: Kinsley, please! Untie my hands! I already used the safe word! If you want my earrings and necklace, I'll give them to you, it's not a big deal! I'll even stay in the backroom of the club, whatever you want!

KINSLEY: I don't want your tacky jewelry. I just want you to tell me which of those new men you like the best. Tell the truth. Who would you bring to a play party?

BOBI: Neither of them.

KINSLEY: You're lying, you little slut! It's Harvey, isn't it? You want Harvey to spank your pretty little ass? Work you with a butt plug?

BOBI: If you want Harvey, you can have him. Invite him to a play party. I'll even talk to him for you.

KINSLEY: Oh, than you're probably a gold digger. I get it. You want old man George and his money, right? So he can buy you more gaudy jewelry you can wear around town?

BOBI: Stop playing around, Kinsley! Untie my hands! You don't have to be mad at me. I'm sure there are plenty of guys who will want to hire you.

KINSLEY: Don't talk to me about clients!

(BARTHOLOMEW enters the room.)

BARTHOLOMEW: What is going on in here? Girls! Get ahold your yourselves. Kinsley, we talked about this. You need to stop bullying Bobi. Untie her hands. What did she do to you? Probably nothing. (To BOBI): Are you okay, dear? Here. Let me help you.

(BOBI gets free and exits.)

KINSLEY: I get it now. She's your favorite. Ms. Bobi, the wonderful submissive. With her long, golden blond hair, fair skin and blue eyes. I knew the minute she started working here she'd take all of my business away! Why can't a single man in this city appreciate a strong, assertive, independent woman! No, they all want these pathetic, nauseating submissives like her! I don't care if you fire me! I'm going in the back!

(KINSLEY exits.)

BARTHOLOMEW: Unbelievable. Why did I ever take a job managing a BDSM club? But wait a minute, are there more people coming in?

(GEORGE enters with LUTHER, dressed as CHADWICK, the rope-tying instructor. He's wearing a black rubber body suit and rubber facemask, with the eyes and mouth cut out. PHILIBERT enters with HARVEY, dressed as LANGDON, the expert flogger. He's also wearing a body suit, only his is black leather, with a zipper facemask. TRAVIS enters, dressed as LUTHER, and is carrying a leather flogger and various bondage gear.)

GEORGE: Good afternoon, Bartholomew.

BARTHOLOMEW: Good afternoon, George. And hello to all of you. Welcome to The Riding Crop, the hottest fetish club in all of San Francisco. How can I help you gentlemen?