The Toilets Have Landed

"'You bitches', I said, 'You bitches! This is Craystown we're talking about here!'

"I was as mad as hell because I'd suddenly realized what a con job this all was. See, Gloria, Craystown is a horrible airport. The normal approach can't be used there because it's blocked off by a range of mountains. The only way you can get in is to slide down the hills like you're travelling on cables like a ski lift, and while that's happening you're skimming over and past hotels close enough to look into the top rooms. And then, when you get to the runway, you can't land where you'd normally land. You have to pull the nose of the plane up, keep flying down the centerline, drop the wheels behind what they call a 'displaced threshold', then slam into reverse thrust, lift your spoilers and put the wheel brakes hard on. Ask any commercial pilot the worst place in the country to try and make a featherweight landing and every one of them would nominate Craystown. And, of course, Yvonne and her crew knew that as well as I did. Indian givers . . !

"Another drink? Yeah sure. As long as you don't forget which hotel you're staying at. Be a hell of a shame if you had to stay here overnight, hey? My wife? Which one . . . doesn't matter, they've all moved on now anyway. There's just me and the bar and my yacht and the Cessna out at the airport. Want to come flying some time? You haven't seen coral reefs until you've seen them from the air.

"Anyway, let me tell you the crazy part of this story. I swear it's true though. First off, I went back for a leak halfway through the trip and all these nuns were grinning and smiling at me. There must have been a dozen of them, a dozen flying nuns and as I went into the john one of them called out. 'Mind you leave the seat up, Captain'. The another one called out: 'Don't worry, we're all praying for a smooth landing'. And she looked about twenty and had a face like an angel underneath that wimple or dimple or whatever the hell they call it. Christ, yes, one of the attendants must have explained to them about the scene in the galley and they were loving the deal. Me, I'd never been so embarrassed in my life . . . I mean, what other pilot has ever found himself getting razzed by a bunch of raunchy nuns when he goes for a piss?

"Here, grab hold of my hand, Gloria, before you fall off that seat from laughing. Yeah, maybe it sounds funny but at the time I was trying to figure out what would happen if this story got as far as the Vatican. Maybe I'd be the first pilot ever to be grounded by the Pope. It looked like even God was against me. Until the tower at Craystown gave me the local weather. Would you believe it, a forty knot headwind right down he middle of the runway. For the first time ever, Gloria, I really believed in the power of prayer. A gale of wind right down my throat would cut my ground speed way and hell back. That meant I could use full flap and if I was as good as I knew I was I could land that bird at just over a hundred knots as softly a piece of belly button lint dropping onto a jelly. Forty knots, headwind, God love us all. You could fly into that airport for years and never have that kind of weather working for you.

"Did I make a good landing? With that kind of wind, and all those flying nuns back there praying for me and the thought of being orally stimulated by Ms Yvonne Page? Gloria, it was the best landing of my career. There's never been a smoother landing at Craystown since the Navy stopped flying airships back there in 1948. Lady, you've hit that silk blouse of yours harder with an iron than I hit the runway that day. Even I wasn't sure exactly when we went from flying to rolling. Then I was pickling on the brakes as gently as if I was getting a chance to stroke Dolly Parton's tits and even with the door closed I could hear those nuns back there cheering me and I was wondering who was going to get to hear their confessions afterwards. What's that, Gloria . . .?

"No, I don't know what the rest of the passengers thought. I do know my co-pilot was baffled by it all and pissed again because I'd taken the landing instead of letting him do it. Anyway there was no arguing about who was handling the 727 on the ground. Co-pilots get to fly some of the time but only the captain is allowed to touch that little old steering wheel connected to the nose wheel. Especially with those toilet seats still up and with somebody having to keep them that way until we'd stopped.

"I turned off that runway about as carefully as if I'd got a rattlesnake asleep in my lap. I crawled along the taxiways cursing every lousy contractor who'd ever left a concrete ripple in any of them, and I could hear Yvonne and another attendant in the front jump seats giggling at each other, even with the cockpit door closed. Oh yeah, and the guy in the ramp tower is telling me to get the lead out. So screw him as well. Then I saw our ramp agent up ahead of us, waving his flashlight to bring us alongside the concourse. I crept towards him about as slowly as a 727 has ever travelled anywhere, anytime, and the agent was waving his arms like a referee giving a touch down signal and I knew he was wondering if this plane is ever going to get parked up. Well, screw him too. When I finally parked the 727 alongside the concourse I would have made a snail eating a cabbage leaf look like a hit and run driver. I'd aged about a year in one landing, I'd sweated off pounds in stress but I thought there was a good chance those toilet seats might still be up.

"So, I went back and those goddamn nuns were still there and grinning at me-- I thought I was going to have to call in a security squad to drag them off the plane. Whatever, not one of them moved an inch as that bitch Yvonne opened the john doors and showed me the seats, smiling all over her face. I nearly fainted -- each one, all four of them, had been secured up with strips of scotch tape. 'We were going to do it anyway,' she said to me, "We never thought you could make a soft landing here and we just wanted to make you sweat for it a little. But as soon as I bought the tape dispenser out of the galley some of the good sisters grabbed it. They've been scuttling in and out of the toilet spaces taping the seats up right up until we began the descent . . . can you believe that?"

"I could hardly believe a word of it, Gloria. I could have slam dunked that goddamned 727 onto the tarmac and the bloody toilet seats would still have stayed up. And then this chief nun, or whatever, the eldest one anyway, she gets the others moving out like she's a Marine Gunnery Sergeant giving orders and as she leaves she turns around and smiles at me and says: "Captain, I never really knew what they meant by flying the friendly skies until today. Thank you for a very interesting trip . . .

"Sure, what's the question, honey . . . ?

"What's a dead dog switch? I thought you'd never ask. It's the switch that turns on the heaters in the cargo compartment. It costs a lot of money to run them but if you need to -- well, it's real bad news if some passenger comes to collect fido or pussy and all you've got for them is a furry popsicle. Public relationswise, you'd be better off crashing the plane and burning the passengers than freezing a hold full of pets to death. Which brings us to the question of switches in general. See, I turn this switch here and those metal shutters at the windows roll down. This switch here, that turns on some subdued lighting and gets the romantic music whispering right along. And this switch here, that locks the door and illuminates the 'bar closed' sign -- now we can't be disturbed . . . "

"Why? Well, I figure I've got already got all the customers I need in here already -- any more would be a crowd . . .

"The police? Sure, you can call the cops, except they'll be on their siesta time right now. And I hear they've already used up their government gas allowance for this month and it's a long way to walk out here from the town. So why not leave then in peace and let me ply you with free booze in return for some cheap thrills? I mean, come on, counselor, a gal with a body like yours must have dreamed at some time or another of doing a striptease in a tropical bar in front a appreciative audience -- and, I give you my word, I'd certainly appreciate it. After all, who lets a few pieces of material get in the way of a great friendship?

"OK, so think about it. Here, have another drink while you're deciding. And no, the name is Four Johns Johnson, not four flusher Johnson. I mean, this is a fair deal, right? I entertain you with a story, you entertain me with anything that naturally comes to hand. Like Yvonne and the other girls did . . . "

"Sure, I'd be happy to tell you, but if only I could be encouraged by that top button coming undone . . . even from here I can some serious cleavage . . . Yes, honey, that button right there . . . now, isn't that cooler . . . no, hotter? You'd better keep going then. . . .

"Yeah, they came to my hotel room almost as soon as they could after we'd checked in. I'd had a shower, put on a robe and I was looking at the TV without any idea of what I was actually seeing while I was trying to work out how serious Yvonne and the girls had been. Maybe it was all a big joke after all. Then there was a knock on the door and there they were, walking into my room, all four of them. 'I thought you might prefer it if we were still had our uniforms on,' Yvonne said. 'Is that all right? And did you want us all together, or did you want to make different times like a dentist? Shall I pour out some drinks, captain, while you're thinking about it?'

"So imagine me standing there and watching these girls making themselves drinks and they've got their company uniforms on with the pleated skirts and stiff white shirts and dark stockings and they're smiling at me and I'm feeling like I've just stepped out into the passenger cabin with nothing but a short robe on and the plane is still full of nuns. Incidentally, Gloria, the view with that top button undone is great . . . how about that next one as well . . . and I'll just turn on the overhead fan so the breeze can go all the way down there . . . Where was I? . . . Oh sure . . ."

"Then Yvonne started introducing the others to me. The blonde was Anne, and she had a turned up nose and real bright blue eyes and all that short fair hair teased out in different directions, and she was real cute. Then there was Caddie and she was a short plump little homebody with glasses -- a real PTA type. I couldn't believe she was a volunteer to go down on some strange guy. She seemed more likely to want to knit me a cardigan. Funny thing was though, somebody had given my John Thomas a friendly squeeze in that crush in the galley and Caddie had been the closest to him at the time. But it was hard to tell which of them had made the low pass . . . And then last and certainly not least was Jill. Jill was black, she wearing pearl earstuds and a pearl necklace, she was laughing a lot and she had a pair of tits underneath her jacket -- well, how the hell she got her life jacket on over them for the ditching drills at the training pool, I don't know. Maybe the safety instructor just figured she could float forever with what nature had already given her . . .

"My God, Gloria that's a push up bra you've got there and it has to be a D, it has to be. Lady, it's been a long time since I've seen a pair of cups so overflowing with the milk of human kindness -- well, OK, as near to human as a lawyer can be. Say, is that a front hook I see before me? You wouldn't care to lean forward just a little here, would you? Just to see if I've still got the knack of undoing those things . .

"Did I have any better lines at the hotel? To be honest, honey, it wasn't my greatest moment as a lover. If you'd said I was a bit frightened of that line up it wouldn't have been a total lie. It was Yvonne who got things started. She told me to go into the bedroom and lie down -- without the robe. So I did and I was lying there stark naked as the four women come in and stood around me. Then Jill, the black lady, she began undoing the buttons down the front of her shirt and then the others all started doing the same thing as well, even homebody Caddie . . .

"No, that's it, not another word unless you lean forward and let me try my luck on that hook . . . come on, honey -- have a holiday to remember. Come on, come to daddy . . . got it, first try. Oh God, they're so beautiful . . . here we go with a tip for the bar staff . . . one here . . . and one here . . . hmmmm . . . Gloria, how about pouring yourself another drink, seeing as I have my hands full right now . . . The story . . . ? Sure, sure.

"So, there was my entire cabin crew, undoing the tops of their skirts and taking off those crisp white shirts, and I'm looking down the barrels of four bras. Jill had one with big white cups, a real heavy duty job, which I guessed she needed, and the blonde had a lemon colored C outfit with plenty of cleavage showing. Yvonne was showing off a real sexy push up number, a red one and I suddenly wondered if she had on those red panties I'd seen at Tucson and that was enough to start getting me stiff. Caddie started giggling first, I remember that. She was just wearing an ordinary every day white bra but she was as plump up front as she was everywhere else and they had to be CC . . . I said something like: You gals really are grateful to me, then?' And they grinned at me and Yvonne said I'd find out how grateful they were for still having their jobs . . .

"Hey, Gloria, if you were to stand up on the bar rail, I could plant a little kiss right on these two hot little nipples of yours . . . that's it, higher, higher -- good enough . . . hold it there and brrr . . . hey, what a taste . . .

"Yeah, well, Yvonne picked up her purse and opened it. She said their name tags were inside and I was to take them out and that was going to be the pecking order -- yeah, that was what she said. The first girl I drew, that was the first one to start with me and every time I clicked my fingers, that meant changeover time. I could have anything I wanted, but a fuck was an optional extra. I only got one of those if the lady agreed to it. But that was the challenge, to see if I could get any of them so turned on they'd fuck with me with all the others watching the action. So, I put my hand in the purse and got out a name tag and it was Jill's that came out first, then Caddie's, then Yvonne's and then Anne's. And I'm like still trying to believe this was happening and then Jill hitched up her skirt and knelt down on the end of the bed and snapped her bra straps. 'With or without?' she asked me and I said "Without' like my throat was full of concrete, and Yvonne got in back of Jill and undid her bra and Jill slid it off and . . .God!

"You know, what, Gloria, I've always had this urge, whenever I've seen a girl in one of flight uniforms, to rub my fingers around the backs of their knees, just below the hem of the skirt. And the strange thing was, even with that fantastic pair of titties right there, I wanted to do that to Jill. So I had her kneel down across her chest with her back to me and I rubbed her at the back of her knees while she gave me a gentle hand job. Then I reached up and grabbed her boobs and they were so big I felt I had a pair of bolsters in my hands. Maybe they were too big, not like yours here . . .

"Put you down, honey? Sure -- just unfasten the top of your shorts and push them down below the top of the bar. I want to see if you're a natural blonde. Of course I'll let you sit down again afterwards, as long as you're naked down to your knees . . . OK, take as long as you like to make up your mind and I'll just give you a little bite here . . . yeah . . . and another one here . . . just while I tell the story . . .

"So, then I clicked my fingers because I still didn't think that Caddie would even let me touch her and I wanted to find out what would happen. And the next thing I knew she was lying on the bed on her stomach with her hand around my shaft and licking up and down it. What was more, she was fluttering her eyelids at me through those glasses like a houri in a harem and I suddenly realized that if there's one girl in this crowd who seems willing to have her pussy pounded in front of one and all, it's little homemaker Caddie . . . so I told her to stand up and get her panties off because I'm going to sixty nine her next time. Then I had Anne sit on my chest and facing me as she took her bra off while I massaged the backs of her knees. I managed to get my hands up underneath her tight skirt as far as that swell ass while she was holding her nipples out for me to suck. And there was Yvonne standing there watching all this and I'm thinking it's taken about five minutes and I haven't even touched her yet and already the scene is as wild as some kind of a Roman orgy . . . it was true, it was totally true, these woman had me marked down as somebody they all owed a real big favor to. . .

"Hey, if I stand to the side here, Gloria, you can watch yourself in the bar mirror as you pull down your shorts. Yeah, that's it, shorts first and then your panties afterwards. Pretend you're being auditioned as a stripper . . . yeah, that's right, you're going to be a stripper and now you're pushing the waistband of those shorts all the way down your legs . . . that's pretty good. You've never been a stripper . . . or maybe a playboy bunny, or something like that . . .? Yeah, you've got the talent to be a cockteaser. Like Yvonne . . .

"No, she didn't tease me that time. I got her to take off her skirt and she was wearing those crotchless cami-knickers and I suggested she kneel down by my side. That way I could hold her hair with one hand and make sure she swallowed everything she could while I got my fingers into her cunt. And Anne, cute little blonde Anne, she produced a huge vibrator out of her purse and began running it around Yvonne's nipples and then along her pussy when I took my hand away . . . And there was nose-in-the-air stockbroker Yvonne writhing around with her pink ass cheeks high up in the air instead of her nose and going down on me like a tigress killing a deer . . . then Caddie put a rubber on me and rolled it down with her mouth, her and Jill taking turn and turn about with Yvonne. If God wants me to spend eternity like that it'll be the next best thing to flying . . .

"OK, Gloria, now those cute little white panties. All the way down until you can see your cunt hairs in the mirror . . . no need to be shy, all I have to do is to squeeze just a little bit harder and you'll want to do it . . . good girl. Just think, of all the bars in all the world you're going to get fucked in mine . . ."

"Which of the stews did I fuck first . . ? I haven't said yet that I fucked any of them. But I did. I had them all kneel down in a row on the bed while I went up and down the line snapping my fingers. Every time I snapped them the next girl on the list had to get her ass way up while I tongued her, gave her the length of the vibrator, and then followed through with a few strokes of my cock to keep her steamed up. God, it was hard work but it was fun. I couldn't resist having Jill first though, not when I'd finally got myself comfortably fitted in behind her. I'd managed to get her positioned in front of a mirror so I could see those huge brown tits wobbling more and more the harder I fucked her, and I got completely fascinated with watching them, seeing if there was any way I could get them swinging in counter rotating circles . I couldn't though, so I got the other girls to grab hold of them and try it but they kept giggling and fooling around. Anne wouldn't do it though, and I was kind of surprised because I'd marked her down as the hottest one of the bunch despite appearances. But then she broke the rules by kneeling down behind me and licking my balls even though I was still busy with Jill. Still, she was the next on the list anyway . . .