The Trial

Riding on that initial success, they branched out to furnish similar products for the video versions of poker that were becoming very popular with slot players. There was an obscene amount of money rolling in from those endeavors.

It might sound like all he did was sit around writing and developing new products, but there was much more to it than that. He spent at least one all-night session each week in a casino testing his latest theories. He had to keep up with constant changes being made by the casinos and video game makers. These sessions led to additional products which in turn produced even more income.

Another big source of income surfaced as the name "Victor Champion" became increasingly well-known due to his tournament wins and his merchandise sales. Casinos began hiring him to teach classes on weekends. They paid him very well. You might wonder why a casino would pay someone to teach their clientele how to win. Wouldn't that cost the casino money? The truth is that his classes attracted lots of people. He was a good instructor as well as a talented entertainer. Everyone liked his classes and multitudes signed up for them. Casinos will do anything to get people into their establishment. For them, more people equates to more money.

Don't forget, when it comes to Hold'em, the players play against each other, not against the casino. The casino gets a percentage of each pot, so the more players the better.

The video versions are not the same. When playing those games, the players are playing against the casino, just like when they play a slot machine. The casinos knew that, but they also knew something else. They knew that very few of the people taking Dad's lessons would devote the time necessary to become expert players, but all of them would leave his class believing that it was possible to beat the casino! That ultimately ensured increased revenue for the casino.

Dad spent nearly every weekend teaching classes at some casino. At first, Mom went with him. She sold his products to the attendees from a co-located booth. We stayed with Grandma while our parents were out making big bucks. It was alright with us because we loved our grandma and she ran a much more relaxed household, if you get my drift. When Granny died, things changed. Dad went on his trips alone while Mom stayed home with David and me.

Now that you know why Dad was gone so much, you will understand the next development at home. Dad was doing one of his all-night sessions at some casino when I heard odd noises coming from the guest bedroom. It was obvious that what I was hearing was the unbridled intonations of sexual passion. I recognized the voices. Cecil was doing my mom! I was astounded. I never dreamed that they would actually get together! I deeply regretted giving Mom's card to Cecil. Did my actions facilitate this misbehavior?

I don't know when Cecil left that night. It was sometime after I got to sleep, which was pretty late. I glanced at the clock several times. The last I remember seeing was 2 a.m. He wasn't there for breakfast, thank heaven.

After that, I heard those "romantic noises" coming from the spare bedroom many a night when Dad wasn't home.

Before long, Cecil also started showing up on weekends when Dad was away teaching his poker classes.

When the affair began, Dad was scheduled to teach classes every weekend for six months! It turned out that he continued those trips much longer than that. Anyway, he usually flew out on Friday evening and returned home Sunday evening. Cecil frequently spent Friday or Saturday night with Mom. Sometimes it was both nights. He was often still there at breakfast time. They acted like what they were doing was normal. They never kissed or anything in front of me and David, but they didn't fool anybody either. They were getting more and more brazen. I began to wonder about Mom's intentions and her mental state.

The first time that he was there on Sunday morning, it was getting close to church time and Mom was still in her robe. Now, as far back as I can remember, Mom and Dad had taken David and me to church with them on Sunday mornings. We all went to our respective Sunday school classes and then worshipped together afterward in the sanctuary. It was a family tradition. When Dad was on his trips, Mom kept up the tradition. Anyway, it was getting close to church time and Mom wasn't dressed. David and I were in our Sunday best as usual, but Mom and Cecil remained in their robes.

I finally said, "Mom, it's close to church time." She answered, "You kids need to go by yourselves today. Cecil and I have other things to do."

I nearly fainted. I couldn't believe my ears. When I recovered, I said, "Mom, we need a mother/daughter conference in the den."

I walked to the den and she followed me. I certainly gave her a piece of my mind about breaking such a long-standing family ritual for her "cheap affair." I told her that after these fantastic years together, we will end up splitting time after all. "Don't you get it, Mom? You will be splitting time with your children and grandchildren What will it be, Thanksgiving with you and Christmas with Dad? Who will handle the fireworks on July 4th? School games and functions will be a problem too. Thanks a lot, Mom."

She said, "Whatever do you mean? This isn't an affair. I think of it more as an intimate form of exercise. It's like going to the gym. The main difference is that I get to enjoy some feelings that just don't happen at the gym. I just think of it as another form of exercise, nothing more than that."

I said, "Mom, what a load of bullshit. Isn't that a mixed metaphor or something? Equating adultery with going to the gym is just plain craziness. You need to realize that your 'exercise' with your lover could end up costing you everything. Do you ever think of that?"

She said, "You don't think I'm in love with-or even serious about- Cecil, do you? I only love one man and that's your dad. Our marriage isn't in any danger. Don't worry your little head about that. I just need more sex than your dad has time for. It's sex, Donna, nothing more. I need it more than I need church. You guys run along. They won't miss me at church, and I won't miss any of my limited time with Cecil.

"Look Donna, what Cecil and I have is primal. When I first saw him with you, I must admit that he appealed to something deep inside me. Of equal importance, I could tell that he was interested in me. Here was a young and virile man who was interested in this deteriorating, mature woman. That registered immediately in my psyche. An ancient yearning that had been dormant in me was suddenly activated. Something that I had kept in a cage was set free.

"It was similar to what happened when I met your father years ago. That activation was equally vigorous but fundamentally different. It was the answer to a different set of questions. Your father was THE answer to: 'Who can I trust to be at my side through raising a family? Who can provide the material things and the love that will see me and my family through the most important thing I will ever do?' Your dad fulfilled those stipulations completely and exclusively for all these many years. I have been completely satisfied and I will always cherish those special years.

"Then came my first glimpse of the proverbial 'empty nest.' The nest would soon lose its occupants. It would shrink until it was empty. I was shrinking as a woman, too. Some things that I enjoyed immensely were fading. My amorous days were numbered. If I wanted to enjoy some of life's pleasures that I had denied myself, I had a short amount of time left to do it.

"That primal need reconfigured itself majorly. It reverted to its ancient quest to find something very different. It beckoned me to the quest that all my female ancestors had followed for eons. It was that antediluvian quest to find a young and virile male who could save me from the marauding hordes while using me for his every pleasure. Cecil fulfilled that ancient quest for me.

"Here's where I, a modern woman, differ from my ancestors. While I found myself addicted to satisfying that primal compulsion with Cecil, I did not forget or relinquish my original and celestial connection with my life-long partner, your dad. That loving connection is still more important and stronger than my new quest. What I still have with your father is more subdued, but it's just as passionate and much more precious than what I enjoy with Cecil. They are two different worlds. In Cecil's world, I'm a sex toy. In Victor's world, I'm a partner enjoying the complete joining and melding of two souls in the most blissful rapture attainable in this universe. When combined, I have the best of two disparate worlds. That's where I find myself now, Donna. I'm living the best of both worlds. The one with Cecil will end, but what I have with your father will last forever. I hope you can understand what I'm saying, Donna."

I replied, "Damnit Mom, I don't need all of that psychobabble. We're just talking about going to church. I'm really mad at you. I see your point, though. If I had just finished a round of adultery, I wouldn't want to kneel in God's presence or partake of the communion either. Now, as for all that quest crap, you may be living in two worlds right now, but that's not sustainable. One of those worlds was sealed by vows to God, the other one is a cheap sinful thing sealed by the devil. They cannot coexist. You are destined to lose one of them. In all likelihood, you will lose them both."

Mom said, "I don't see it that way at all. What I have with Cecil means nothing to me compared to the world that I share with my husband, so how can it mean something to God? I enjoy my new world in the same way that I enjoy my time at the gym. Neither world is wrong. Both do me good. They make me a more complete person. You must understand that nothing has changed in the world that I share with you, your brother, and your dad."

I screamed, "Mom, there's something wrong with you mentally. You can't be serious. What do you think 'forsaking all others' means?" I shouted. She hung her head and teared up. She said, "It's just not like that, baby. It's not like that."

When I settled down, I told her that she was taking a big risk. I mentioned that she didn't even wash the sheets afterward. I told her she should be much more vigilant.

She said that Dad never looks in the spare bedroom and doesn't suspect anything. Then she told me a story about when she was dating Dad. She said they were exclusive, but she slipped out with another guy. She said Dad certainly knew about it, but he didn't say a word. During those dating days, she had slipped around a few other times with the same "no reaction" response from Dad.

I'm just telling you what my mom told me. She ended by telling me "He won't rock the boat because he sees that he hasn't lost anything. I don't short him one bit. Nothing has changed in the life that I share with your father. Besides, he doesn't want to lose me. Like you say, I haven't even been all that careful to conceal what I'm doing. Don't you think he knows? He just won't say anything. It's just like what happened when we were dating. You kids don't need to worry. I give your dad all that he needs. He's happy, Cecil's happy and I'm happy. You should be happy too. You know what they say, 'Happy wife, happy life.' Rest assured, I'm one very happy wife!" I just shook my head and left the room.

The affair continued until Cecil graduated and left town for a job in Silicon Valley. That's a four-year affair! By the end, I agreed with Mom that Dad had to know what was going on. He just didn't want to rock the boat.

During their affair, Cecil had a girlfriend named Ruby Ann. They were never exclusive, but they attended school functions and games together. I was never friends with her, so I don't know if she knew about his extracurricular activities with Mom. I heard rumors that Ruby slept around some and I told Mom about it. I asked if she wanted to give Dad an STD. She said that was not a problem and I needn't worry about it. I assumed that she meant they used condoms. Afterward, I saw evidence in the bedroom that was inconsistent with that assumption. I wish now that I had pursued that subject further. Maybe I could have scared her into stopping.

The beginning of the end was when things unexpectedly changed for Dad. It was a big change. He started a new project. He was writing a book that was centered around casino gambling. This one was about playing poker at the tables, but it was written as a novel, not as an instruction book. It featured interesting characters and a casino-related mystery.

Interest in his instruction books was fading around the country. As that interest kept declining, he decided to write for a broader audience. He made some drastic changes in his life. He stopped doing the nighttime sessions and the weekend classes. It was a perfect time for Mom to end her affair. I told her so. She informed me that Cecil didn't have classes on Wednesdays, so she had adjusted her schedule at work. She was taking off on Wednesday afternoons using accumulated comp-time. She was spending those afternoons with Cecil. She astounded me by mentioning that they had started including Cecil's younger brother, Ronald, in their rendezvous. The plan was that Ronald would be taking over after Cecil left for Silicon Valley. She said, "Ronald is getting some OJT, so to speak, to enable him to take over when Cecil leaves."

I said, "I can see why you took up with Cecil. He's a gorgeous, athletic stud with an outstanding six-pack. But Ronald? He's a geek. He can't take over for Cecil, Mom. No way! Ronald is nothing special. Having said that, he doesn't need any OJT. No amount of training will make him Cecil's equal. Surely you see that!"

On some level, it bothered me more about Ronald than it had about Cecil. I guess because Ronald was my age and was in some of my classes at college. The whole threesome thing was sickening to me.

I let Mom know that the new plan was a bad one. It was much too dangerous to skip work during the week to be with not one, but two younger guys. Little did I know the heartache this new arrangement would lead to in just a handful of days.

On Wednesday evening after her afternoon rendezvous, I asked how her new, two-man adventure was progressing. She blew my mind with more psychobabble. She said, "I think I have satisfied that primal urge that surfaced with Cecil. I find myself at a crossroads. One of those roads leads to feeling guilty and regretting a continuing aberration that I can't justify anymore. The other road leads back to the happiness I enjoyed before Cecil.

"Having finally become sated, now I'm thinking about my remaining years on this planet. My final walk into the sunshine. I want that walk to be hand in hand with your father. He's without equal in every respect. I don't regret the time I spent with Cecil since I know that it was just fulfilling an ancient part of my psyche. Something that had awakened unbidden. The road to regret would be easy to follow, but the other road is the one that I will take. I may be forced to face the difficulties that you have alluded to, but it's the only road for me. Next Wednesday will mark my last departure from my marriage vows. I will stress to Cecil and Ronald that it's nothing that they have done or not done. It's just what I'm pre-programmed to do at this juncture in my life. I choose to walk the road that leads to peace and harmony. I choose to walk that road with the love of my life, Victor Champion"

As everyone knows, she never made it to that road. There was an unseen and unexpected obstruction in that road that she was unable to avoid. I'm glad that she was finally moving in the right direction. She was headed back to the highway that she had traveled for so many happy years with Dad. She wasn't on that highway yet, but she was on the access road. How I wish that she had made it. Even more, how I wish she had never left that highway in the first place.

I want to stress that I don't see my testimony as being against my father. I think the wrong person is on trial here, that's all. It should have been my mother. I see her as the instigator of this whole thing. I know saying that doesn't endear me to Dad. To him, saying something against Mom is every bit as bad, or worse, than saying something against him. He loved her with his whole heart, and I get that. He will never believe anything derogatory about her. I get that too. He would rather shoulder the blame himself than blame her. Having said that, I know both Cecil and Ronald very well, and I don't think they intended any harm to either of my parents. They are what can only be described as "nice guys." My father is a "nice guy" too. A girl couldn't ask for a better father. The only criticism that I have of him is that he spent so much time away from us. I know he was making a living for us; a very good living, I might add. But that's part of what motivated my mom to seek another partner. That's no excuse for what she did or for what resulted from her actions.

I just want to say that I can't possibly know for sure if my father knew about Mom's affair. It's my opinion that he probably knew. I think he took all that he was willing to take. I think he came home to catch them in the act and confront them. He had no way to know how it would turn out, but his actions ultimately had dreadful consequences. I believe Dad when he says that his immediate goal when he witnessed what was happening in that room, was to put a stop to it. I also believe what Cecil has said all along, that he believed Dad was maneuvering to get the gun. Cecil had a split second to act and he probably just reacted by pulling the trigger without even thinking. It was an act of self-defense on his part, not murder. As I see it, Ronald played no part in the attempted murder of Victor. I've heard that since he didn't try to stop his brother, he was an "accessory" in the act. I don't buy that. If there was a crime, he was involved for a couple of days in a four-year crime!

I also believe that Mom ran to the aid of Dad when she comprehended what had happened. We know that she called 911 and attempted to report the incident. I think that by that time, Cecil was seeing his life and his future going up in smoke for something that he didn't initiate. He participated, but it was ultimately at Mom's invitation. I think he fired the gun to prevent Mom from getting the police involved. Once again, I think it was a reflexive action on his part. He fired only one shot at her. He didn't mean to kill her. The fact that his only shot would pierce her heart was a horrendous accident. He was not a sharpshooter. When all is said and done, my mom lost her life and my dad was badly wounded. Enough damage has been done because of this bizarre affair. Enough punishment has been dished out. To convict these two boys would just be piling on even more undeserved consequences. That's why I'm testifying. Enough is enough. No one else needs to be punished. I love my dad, but I know he can't stomach me right now. David and I have kept our distance from him. If he chooses to talk with us, we will rejoice. Until then, we will not upset him any further.

I want my dad to know that I don't feel worthy to even look at him. I need to convey to him how sorry I am for what he considers to be my betrayal. I can only hope that he will understand at some point in time. I deeply regret my part in getting Mom and Cecil together. I'll regret it until my dying day. In my heart, I blame myself for all of it. I gave Mom's card to Cecil and that kicked-off the whole thing. In the end, it took her life and destroyed our family. Dad suffered a grievous injury. David and I lost our mom. Our dad survived, but it now appears we've lost him too. We wanted to do the right thing, so we blamed Mom. Dad will have none of that. He blames us.