The Valentine's Dance

I was just days away from my 18th birthday when our mother succumbed to the chest pains that had plagued her for several months.

"Jeremiah, I don't have much time left, but remember what you promised your father? Now, you've got to promise me. You have to promise me that you'll take care of your sisters. Treat them well, and find them good husbands who'll take care of them and treat them right. Promise me, Jeremiah!"

I made that promise several times, probably at least once for each of them. A few months later, Deborah and I we went to our little town's first-ever Saint Valentine's dance.

There'd always been dances for the young people in the area, but the war had put an end to that for a long time. With things finally starting to improve after years of everyone just getting by, Mrs. Heloise Tewkesbury and some of the other ladies decided we needed a new tradition, so they invited all the eligible men and women in town to come to meet their counterparts, socialize, dance, and, in some cases, fall in love. The first was in 1871.

Over the years, there were usually at least two or three marriages in town credited to the Valentine's dance, though I came to suspect that most of those newlywed couples would have been engaged soon thereafter anyway even if the dance hadn't been held.

Most of the young married couples in town also showed up, supposedly to chaperone, but, I realized as the years passed that most were there to court their own spouses and dance like before they were married. Though no one would ever come right out and admit it, I also came to believe it was a busy night for such couples since in the years that followed there were often an unusually high number of births in our area in November.

With this being our first dance ever, Deborah and I were jittery with excitement. She'd met her beau some months before at a church social and they'd become a regular item. I suspected Clement would be asking me for Deborah's hand, if not that night at the dance, at least in the next few weeks. She'd whispered to me that they'd been discussing the possibility, though it wouldn't have been much of a surprise to me even if she hadn't.

My nerves were a little different in that I hoped to finally get to dance with Miss Charlotte Tewkesbury. She'd long been my best female friend other than my sisters, and had always sat next to either me or Deborah for my three years of formal schooling. We'd remained friends at church after that and she'd given me my first and as yet only kiss, a very quick peck on the lips, when we were sixteen. Unfortunately, we saw each other less often as we got older and she apparently thought less of me than I of her since she'd taken to courting William Fellowes, the son of aristocratic parents from the next town over, soon after our kiss. Her relationship with William lasted until just a few weeks before the dance.

Charlotte's father owned the only real plantation in our area before the war, but he'd had lots of trouble keeping it going in the years since. The soldiers had spared Tewkesbury Hall, but had burned all their barns and torn down many of the fences. With their overseer gone and all their slaves freed, Mr. Arthur Tewkesbury was trying to work with sharecroppers to keep it running, but the home was still a great place for the dance, particularly since Mrs. Tewkesbury was in charge of it.

Charlotte was a beautiful young lady, within weeks of my age, and she'd long been one of Deborah's best friends, too. After she'd dismissed William, our eyes had caught at church, with me turning a bit red and her glancing away with a partially hidden smile.

With the dance approaching, I'd sent a note to her through Deborah, telling her I hoped to see her at the event and that I would appreciate the honor of dancing with her. Her reply, also via my sister was that she, too, looked forward to seeing me at the dance, and that she would be pleased to have the opportunity to dance with me. Several more notes followed, each with increasing familiarity and affection. I planned to ask her if I could court her, with thoughts of speaking to her father immediately thereafter.

On arriving, Deborah and Clement met and quickly took to the dance floor in the Tewkesburys' main hall while I went in search of Charlotte. I finally spotted her across the dance floor wearing a beautiful blue dress; her brown hair was curled and looking perfect. My heart racing with excitement, I was making my way toward her when Clement caught my arm.

"Mr. Daniels, may I speak with you, sir?"

Clement was two years older than me, but he was taking the appropriate steps since I was Deborah's guardian, so I knew it couldn't wait. I looked across at Charlotte. She was a picture of loveliness and I felt my heart still pounding in my chest. I nodded to her with a smile when our eyes met and held up five fingers, hoping she'd understand that I'd be with her soon. She nodded back, and I turned and went with Clement.

"Mr. Daniels, I request your permission, Sir, to ask Deborah for her hand in marriage."

"What are your plans for her?" I asked.

He explained what he'd done so far to save for their future and how he planned to take care of her once they were married. I agreed with his request on the condition that she would have him, and we shook hands before I went out seeking Charlotte.

Our discussion must have taken longer than I thought, for when I went looking for her, she was nowhere to be found. Someone suggested that she might be outside in the gardens so I went that way.

I found her a little later sitting on a bench just off the path with William Fellowes down on one knee in front of her. Despite that fact that he'd been dismissed as her beau just weeks earlier, it seemed he was now trying to get back into her good graces.

"William Fellowes," I called with some bluster. "Why are you bothering Charlotte?"

"No, Jeremiah, stop," she said, shaking her head madly as she stood up and stepped between us. "I'm sorry, Jeremiah, I didn't know until tonight but William has resolved the issues that kept us apart and I've agreed to begin courting him again. I hoped to tell you before you found out, particularly before you found out like this."

William had a triumphant smile on his face, but I ignored his look, took her by the elbow, and started leading her away down the path. Looking indignant, he started to follow, but Charlotte said, "William, give us a few minutes while we talk. You remain there and we'll be right over here."

It was within his eyesight, but just far enough away that we could whisper without him hearing our discussion. Holding her hands between us, I looked into her bright blue eyes that matched her dress and whispered, "Charlotte, I care a great deal about for you. I believe it's even much more than that. Please, give me a chance and I'll see to it that you never regret it."

"Jeremiah, I care for you, too, and I believe in my heart that we would be a very good match. I know that I would love you and that you would come to love me and love me always. But...but you have a responsibility that...well, I don't know if I could compete with it and be truly happy."

"Charlotte, what do you mean? You'd be the love of my life and I would do everything in my power to make you as happy as you could be."

"Everything, Jeremiah? What about the responsibility you have to your sisters? Deborah and I have talked about your promises to your father and your mother. Remember those?"

I nodded, silently, as I started to realize what she was saying.

"As much as I care for you, I know that you'd never break those oaths. That means I'd always be competing for your love and your care with those already of your blood. I'm sorry, but I've been worrying about that for days while thinking about you and our possibility of being together. It makes me doubt whether such a union between us would work. Now, with William coming to his senses, I've made up my mind since I never quit caring for him, even when we were apart. I'm sorry for you, Jeremiah, but I going to marry William and we're going to spend the rest of our lives together. Now, please, don't make this any harder on either of us." She had tears in her eyes as she added, "Just go, Jeremiah. Please?"

I was crushed but I cared enough about her that I knew I had to do as she asked and let her go. I turned and slowly walked away, believing that I would never love another as long as I lived. She and William married three months later, though I purposely avoided Charlotte and the wedding.

With my troubles kept quiet, Deborah and Clement married a few months after Charlotte and William. Shortly thereafter, they caught a train and made their way to Texas, where they settled and eventually started a family. That left a hole in my life, since, being so close to me in age, I'd always been closest to her. However, on getting our first letter from them some months later, I realized that I'd fulfilled my promise to my mother for the first of my sisters.

"One down!" I thought to myself.

At the time, I didn't realize how easy it had been.

***

1892

We could hear the music inside Tewkesbury Hall when I drew rein on our horses in the drive outside. Charlotte's parents had passed away a few years earlier, so the old plantation was now owned by her older brother, Charles, and his wife, Claudia, who took great pride in still hosting the dance each year.

Sarah was searching the darkness, lit by occasional lanterns, looking quite nervous and rocking forward and back as she tried to spot Mr. Kelley.

I set the brake, tied off the reins, and climbed down out of the carriage. After helping her down, I turned her toward me.

"Sarah, take a deep breath and relax. If you go in there looking this worried, Mr. Kelley may not notice you or he may notice you and your uneasiness, leading you to wish he hadn't. You're not usually like this. Be calm and smile, okay?"

In the dim light, I thought I saw tears pooling in her eyes, but she somehow fought them off before giving me her cute, little "determined" grin. "I'm sorry, Jeremiah. It's just been so long—well, I don't want to blow this." Breathing out slowly, she added, "Okay, I'm calm now."

I smiled back at her. "That's my sister," I said.

Her smile grew and she gave me a big hug. I extended my elbow, which she took politely, and we headed up the drive toward the house. I was hopeful for Sarah, and hoping against hope that this year's Saint Valentine's dance wouldn't be as bad as some of those in the past.

***

1872

My sister Esther wanted to attend the annual dance but I told her she wasn't quite old enough.

"I'll be 17 in June," she declared indignantly as I split firewood outside a few weeks before the dance. "That's plenty old enough."

"Seventeen in June means you're sixteen now. That isn't old enough."

"Jeremiah, you're not being fair! I hate you!"

That outburst, to me, proved my point. While technically old enough according to the norms of the time, Esther needed a bit more seasoning before she went to the dance and started courting. She'd been talking to the young Jessup boy at church, but I hadn't allowed them to see each other socially so I knew it couldn't be serious.

"Esther, you'll be old enough later this year, but for now, you're staying home to take care of our younger sisters. I'm sorry, but that's final."

I'd never seen her look as angry at me as she did at that moment, but in the end, she nodded, accepting her fate. Or so I thought.

A few weeks later, I went to the dance wondering if I should have allowed Esther to attend after all. I was nineteen and as inexperienced as could be, so I really wasn't sure if I'd forbidden her to be there for her own good or because she'd tried to defy me.

I danced with three young women that evening, but I didn't pay them proper attention since I was concentrating on Charlotte, standing on the upper balcony overlooking the dance floor. William wasn't in sight, so I made my way upstairs. When she saw me, she stepped out in the hall to speak with me. For some reason, she looked different to me.

"Good evening, Jeremiah. It's wonderful to see you. How are things with your family and you?"

"Good evening, Charlotte. We're doing well, thank you. And you? Are you okay?"

She sighed, letting down the facade she'd been forcing. "Jeremiah, I'm quite tired, actually, which is why I didn't try to venture downstairs."

"Long day getting ready for this?" I asked as I helped her to a bench to sit down.

"Oh, no," she laughed. "I gave birth to a little girl just three weeks ago and I feel practically exhausted all the time. This is my first outing since her birth; Mother is in the wing taking care of her."

"Well, other than your fatigue, marriage appears to be treating you kindly," I said. "You're as lovely as ever and appear as happy as I've ever seen you."

She nodded. "Thank you, Jeremiah. William is a wonderful man. I know you hate him, but he is very good to me and for me. We really do love each other."

"Charlotte, I don't hate him, as much as I want to," I replied, almost sad to be telling her the truth. I came so close to telling her that I still cared for her, but I held my tongue and only told her the last part of the statement. "If he truly loves you and you truly love him, I'm happy for both of you and wish you only the best."

"Thank you, Jeremiah. You don't know how much that means to me coming from you. I will always be your friend."

Seeing William approach with a scowl on his face, I gave him the warmest smile I could force and said, "Good evening, William. Charlotte was just telling me about your little girl. I'm very happy for you both. Now, I better be going to leave you to in peace."

He looked surprised by my statement and even more surprised when I shook his hand. Turning to Charlotte, I bent down and kissed her hand lightly—all the while wishing I was kissing her lips as I had that one time years before—bowed, said goodnight, and headed for home early. The thought of more dancing after speaking with Charlotte left a hollow feeling in my stomach.

Despite the pointed reminder about losing Charlotte, I was actually surprised at how well the evening had gone otherwise. I was smiling when I opened the door at the house but my smile disappeared when I saw thirteen year old Leah embracing our younger sisters. All four of them were crying.

"What's going on?" I asked, quite surprised that they would still be up. "And where's Esther?"

"Jeremiah, she left this letter," said Leah, handing me a paper that had been wet by several tears.

I read the note and felt my knees go weak. Our second sister Esther was eloping with Fredrick Jessup, the young man from church that I didn't even really know.

"When did they leave?" I demanded.

"Less than an hour ago," replied Leah. "Save her, Jeremiah. Go."

I grabbed my rifle, powder, and shot pouch, and went as fast as my horse would take me, heading toward his parents' house since I didn't know where else they might have gone. Fortunately, my choice was correct, allowing me to catch up to them just as they got there. If they'd gone anywhere else, I'd have never found them.

"Esther, you're coming home with me," I told her with the rifle resting across the saddle's pommel.

"No, Jeremiah! I love him and we're getting married," she cried.

"In the middle of the fucking night?" I tried to never curse in front of my sisters, but I was so angry it slipped out, and I wasn't done yet. "Where the hell do you think you can get married tonight? And if you spend the night together, it will ruin both of your reputations whether anything happens or not. Now, get out of that blasted wagon and onto this horse."

The young man's parents must have heard my outburst because they came walking out to the road.

"What's going on?" asked old man Jessup, who was at least twenty years my senior.

"Mr. Jessup, your son is making a pitifully poor attempt at eloping with my silly sister."

"Fredrick! Is that true?"

"Yeah, Pa."

"In the middle of the bloody night?" exclaimed Mr. Jessup, almost making me laugh.

"That was the idea, Pa. We were gonna' get married in the morning."

Mrs. Jessup looked aghast and Mr. Jessup was shaking his head. "This generation," he griped. "Stupid, disrespectful kids, not even knowing how to elope properly."

Somehow, Mr. Jessup's reaction had helped calm me a bit, so I stowed the rifle in its sheath and looked at the two of them, still cowering together in the wagon.

"Esther, get out of there and get over here," I told her. "You're going home for the night. Now, if you two want to get married—someday—you'll do it right. Young man, you'll bring her things back to the house tomorrow and give a proper introduction of yourself. Assuming you don't do it as half-assed as this attempted elopement, we'll see about starting a proper courtship, with supervision, of course."

Esther was sniffling as I helped her up on the horse behind me.

"Mr. and Mrs. Jessup, I apologize for disturbing your evening and good night to you. Young man, I'd better see you at church tomorrow and later tomorrow afternoon after church for our talk."

We rode home almost in silence, with only her sniffles joining those of the sounds of our riding. When we arrived, I helped her down and then held her when she started to try to run into the house.

"I'm very disappointed that you'd leave your sisters alone when you were in charge," I told her.

She looked at me, fear in her eyes. "I'm sorry, Jeremiah. We just really wanted to go to the dance."

"You'll get your dance, Sis, when you're a little older and, hopefully, a little wiser. You may even marry that Jessup kid someday, but not tonight, so go inside, apologize to our sisters, tell them you love them, and get to bed."

Fredrick Augustus Jessup was at church the next morning and showed up at our house the next afternoon. He made a reasonably proper introduction, and started his courtship with Esther. Young Jessup, I realized, was as immature as she was, so with a bit of help from his parents, we made sure they took it slow. They became engaged at the Valentine's dance in 1873 and married that summer, living with his parents for a while before buying a small place about fifteen miles away.

I know my poor parents looking down from heaven must have been as worried as I was through that whole ordeal, but in the end, Esther was married and that was two.

***

1892

On entering the entry foyer, Sarah and I were greeted by Charles and Claudia as someone took our coats.

"Good evening, Jeremiah, Sarah. So glad you could both make it to the dance," said Charles.

Claudia and Sarah did a polite little hug while Charles and I shook hands. We'd been friends for years, and had shared ideas that we'd both used to make our farms more productive and profitable.

"Mr. Kelley is here, if you're interested," he whispered to me. With a grin, he added, "Or, maybe I should say, if Sarah is interested."

"Thanks," I replied, not completely sure if that was really such a good thing. While I wanted Sarah to be happy, another unhappy outcome might be too much for her. I took her by the elbow and gently pulled her away from Claudia. We started to walk toward the main hall where the actual dance was held, but Charles called out after me.

"Jeremiah, I forgot to mention. William and Charlotte are in attendance this year. They would love to see you, I'm sure."

I nodded, forcing a smile. It had been fifteen years since I'd seen Charlotte, fifteen years during which I'd done everything I could to forget her. Now she was back.

***

1874

After years of effort, our farm finally produced a nice surplus that fall. Unfortunately, the prices offered in town weren't very good since most area farmers were similarly blessed, so I decided that I'd load the wagon and make the trip to Nashville.