The Virgin Ceremonies Ch. 07

Chapter 07

Brent: Starstruck Lover

I glanced at my phone. No calls.

"How's my old cracked phone treating you?" Colin asked, looking over my shoulder.

"Best $50 I ever spent. I put a screen protector on it, so I won't cut my thumb again."

"Good thinking. Just be careful. If the witch catches you on it, she's going to use a paper straw to whip you bloody."

I chuckled, putting my phone away. "Don't want that."

"It's been a week. Still no call, huh?" Colin asked.

"Six days, and not yet."

"My friend, if she was going to call, she would have by now."

"Maybe my postcard got lost."

"Like she got lost at the fountain?"

I sighed. "Yeah, okay. I'm stupid."

"You're not stupid, but you're better off if she doesn't call."

"How's that?" I asked, wiping down the counter, cleaning the flavor nozzles, rinsing the blender.

"It was a one-night stand. If she wanted more, she'd have looked for you. She hasn't. You're making yourself crazy, and if she does call, she's just going to tell you to leave her alone. I'm telling you, sweetie, let it be an epic memory."

"Have you noticed how I've been particularly upbeat this week? Positive? Hopeful?" I asked.

"Sure," he said.

"Well, now I'm back to being depressed."

"Oh, damn it. Are you sure you're not gay?" Colin said. "Because you're acting like a pussy."

"I loved her, man," I said. "I really did."

"Who falls in love after one night? You're crazy."

"That's what love is. A cabbie told me. Love is like the big bang. It explodes and it's real. If it's slow, it's not real. Or something like that."

"Oh, wise cabbie, tell me what other wisdom you have."

"All right, enough. I'm over her," I said.

"Just like that?" Colin asked.

"Just like that. Not even gonna check my phone again. She had her chance. That's it. I tried. I'm done."

"There you go. Better to have tried and lost than to have not tried at all."

"Yeah," I said bitterly. I took a deep breath and blew it out, but then I did not breathe again.

"Good morning, welcome to Starstruck's," Colin said in his chipper voice to the young woman who'd just walked in. "What can I get you, sweetie?"

The young woman looked around. "Hi. Just wondering before I order, is it okay if I hang out and study here? Do you have free Wi-Fi?"

"Oh, sure. Yes to both," he said, waving his hand at her. "Stay, stay, stay. Lord knows this place needs all the beauty it can get."

"Aw, thanks," she said. "Can I get a mocha cappuccino?"

"Good choice, what size? We have Mini-medium, Little-big, and Ridicularge."

"Um, medium?" she said.

"Do you mean Mini-medium or Little-big?"

"The one in the middle size?"

"Little-big it is. Anything else, honey?"

"Those cookies look tasty. I'll take one."

"All yours," Colin said. "Anything else?"

"No, thank you."

"Name for the order?" Colin asked.

Just then, the door in the back opened. "Hey, fags, are you work---oh."

"With a customer, Karen!" Colin said.

"Sorry," Karen said. "Colin, could I speak to you when you're finished? Thanks." She vanished.

The girl looked embarrassed. Colin gave a little laugh. "She teases us. We're like family around here. What was the name for the order, sweetie?"

"Ginny."

I wanted to throw up. I wasn't ready for this. Was she here for me? No, no. She was here for coffee and studying. She said so. I'd been staring like an idiot too, my mouth hanging open for the flies. I couldn't believe it. I'd made love to this girl six weeks ago, and she was right here in front of me, fully clothed. It occurred to me how often I thought of her as I'd last seen her, naked on top of me. How shameful.

"Hello? Earth to Brent? Did you hear the order?"

I looked at Colin. "Huh?"

"LB mocha cap and a cookie. I have to talk to Karen."

"K."

Colin gave a smile to Ginny. "He's a little spacey, but he's cute, so give him a pass."

Colin disappeared behind the door while I turned my back on Ginny and tried to make her coffee, tried to focus. I should tell her, right now. I should say, it's me, Beau, from the ceremony. God, she'd run off. She'd made it clear; she didn't want to meet me in the park, didn't want to call me. What the hell was I doing? Of course, she didn't want to know me. And if she had known I worked here, she never would have come in.

"Can you put extra mocha in that?" Ginny asked. "Last time I had one, it was really good, and my friend asked for extra mocha."

I glanced at her, staring into her eyes. I nodded. "Okay."

I took a deep breath. I turned on my barista brain and put to work making the most amazing mocha cappuccino of my life, every ounce of skill I had honed I poured into that cup of coffee. I overpoured the milk and scooped some out with a spoon. I measured the chocolate perfectly, with extra for her tastes. I had to be careful though not to take too much milk or too much espresso away.

I glanced at her. "Would you like caramel swirl on top? It's free. I, I like caramel on mine."

She was watching me mix. "Oh, sure, that sounds nice."

I sounded like a child. I took a breath to steady myself and then gave her a nice helping of caramel swirl on top, then I put the lid on. I set it on the pickup counter and just stared at her while I waited for her to take it. She picked it up, but she didn't leave. She was staring right back at me. I knew it. We were making a connection. She recognized me. Sure, I didn't look quite the same. My hair was a little longer, and I hadn't been shaving, but she saw through that. Any moment, she'd say something like, 'Do I know you from somewhere?' and I'd say, 'Yes, my love, it's me, Beau, from your ceremony.' And she'd say, 'Oh, how I've longed to have---'

"My cookie?" Ginny said.

"Oh!" I hurried to the pastry shelf and opened it. I almost grabbed the one on top, but no, she deserved the biggest and freshest one on the bottom. I grabbed it with tongs and slid it into a nice little bag and brought it over. "Here you are. Enjoy."

"Thanks." She headed off to the corner of the cafe, taking out two textbooks and a laptop.

I turned away, cleaning the counter from the mess I'd made with her drink. I tried to glance at her in the mirrors around the cafe, even those in the espresso machine. God, she was beautiful, like the most perfect creature on the Earth. I was never getting better now. Ten minutes ago, I'd gotten over her. Now I was right back in the hole, forever fixated on this beauty.

I wanted to walk over and ask, why didn't you meet me, why haven't you called, did you forget me so quickly? But how could I? All I could do was watch her, pine after her, wonder at what had slipped through my fingers. But then, had she ever been in my grasp?

It was one night, as Colin had told me time and time again. He knew it. Ginny knew it. Everyone who'd watched us knew it. I seemed to be the only one who thought otherwise. Maybe this would be helpful, cathartic. I could just gaze on her one last time, say goodbye in my heart. I took a few breaths as I watched her in the espresso machine's reflective surface. Yes, this was my goodbye. I was lucky to have this much. I shouldn't ruin it by saying more.

Colin appeared from the back, saying, "Yes, yes, yes," to Karen. He rolled his eyes at me. "She wants me to open tomorrow."

"But I always open with her."

"She's still annoyed with you over last weekend."

"Whatever, listen, don't look, but that strawberry brunette, that's her."

"Who?" he said, turning around to look at Ginny.

"Colin!" I hissed. "Her, as in my one-night stand. Her name is Ginny."

"Oh, wow. She came to find you? Congrats, I guess."

"She doesn't recognize me."

"Huh?"

"Look, I didn't mention it, but we met at a... a Halloween party. She never saw my face."

He laughed with a gasp. "She had sex without seeing your face?"

"Shh!" I hissed.

"No wonder she doesn't want anything to do with you, boy wonder," he said. "It was an embarrassing screw, and you're chasing her around."

"It wasn't like that. We connected."

"Then why is she avoiding you?"

"I know, okay? She didn't come here for me. It's just total chance. I'm just telling you, like, this is good."

"Are you going to talk to her?"

"No, I'm not. This is cathartic though. I can say goodbye in my head, you know? I got to see her one more time."

He nodded. "I respect that."

"Excuse me, sir?" Ginny said, pulling my attention.

"Yes, sweetie?" Colin said, pouring on the gay with a hip thrust. "More coffee?"

"No, I can't get the Wi-Fi to work."

"Oh, the password is tricky," Colin said. "My boytoy here, who is totally gay, will help you."

"What the, I'm not---"

"Oh, shit, I'm sorry. He's in the closet."

"What the hell, man?" I said.

"Sorry, Brent. Can you help her with the password, please?" he said. I gave him angry eyes and he whispered, "Now you can get over her in the friendzone. You're welcome."

I growled at him and came out from behind the counter. She looked a little embarrassed by Colin's outburst. God, she was adorable, her cute little red cheeks. I missed holding her. She sat down at her laptop.

"So, um, the password?"

"Yeah, it's just, I'm not gay. Colin and I are just friends."

"Um, okay, I just want the password for the Wi-Fi."

"Right, sorry. It's Stars1234."

"That's it?"

"Yes, that's it."

She punched it in, but it didn't connect.

"Capital S," I said.

She typed it again, and it connected. "Oh, perfect, thank you."

"Sure... Ginny," I said, saying her name. I breathed a little heavier as I said it.

She smiled and lifted her cup, glancing at my nametag. "Great cappuccino, Brent."

I gulped and nodded, returning back to the coffee bar.

"So, was it love at first password?" Colin said.

"Shut up, man."

"Ooh, testy..."

Another customer came in, and I waited on them, keeping an eye on Ginny. I didn't speak to her again. What was left to say? But I did watch her. God, I could have loved her for the rest of my life and died a happy man. But it wasn't meant to be, as I kept reminding myself.

"Goodbye, Ginny," I said a dozen times over the next hour. I was anticipating her standing up at any moment and leaving and that would be it. I started to mix another mocha cappuccino.

"Did a web order come in?" Colin asked.

"No, this is for Ginny."

"She ordered?"

"No, it's free."

"Why?"

"Because it's the only thing I'll ever be able to give her in this life."

"Oh, boy. You are simping hard, like virgin-highschooler hard."

"Stop it. It's a parting gift. It'll help with my closure."

"You're a whole new level of lovesick I've never seen before, and the gay community is very lovelorn, let me tell you."

"I'll be better tomorrow."

"Oh, sure."

Just then, a couple walked in, approaching the counter. They looked like tourists, talking in what sounded like Japanese, if my anime-addled youth had taught me anything.

"Can you wait on them so I can give this to her?" I asked Colin.

"Yes, go flirt with your girl."

"Now that I'm friendzoned? Thanks."

I carried the mocha cappuccino over to Ginny, seeing her wrapped up in her textbooks, with papers across two tables. I set it down.

"One mocha cappuccino."

She looked up. "Huh? I didn't order that."

"It's on the house."

"Why?" she said.

"The manager felt bad about that comment you heard."

"Oh, it's fine, none of my business."

I smiled. "I hope you enjoy it, Ginny."

She smiled at me. God, that smile. Did she know? "Thanks."

I turned away, my heart giving me a thumping approval at hearing her thank me for anything.

"Excuse me," said the Japanese gentleman. He spoke with a thick accent. "Can you give direction?"

"Oh, sure," I said. "Where are you headed, sir?"

He opened a map, pointing to Central Park. "This is park central. Where is zoo?"

"Oh, the zoo? It's really a pain to get to. You come through here..." I pointed to the side of the park. "You can walk along this path. There's a lot of signs, but it's mostly in the southwest of the park."

"Southwest?" he repeated.

"Exactly," I said. And I should have left it right there, said "you're welcome" when he said, "arigato," but I didn't. I couldn't keep my mouth shut. I just had to say it. "But you know, on the way there, there's a beautiful fountain you should see, right here." I pointed in the middle of the map.

"Fountain?" he said. "What fountain?"

"Oh, it's world famous. It's the Bethesda Fountain. Bethesda, the Angel of Waters. Everyone in New York has been there."

"Excuse me, what did you say?" Ginny said, her chair scraping the floor.

I was a little surprised by her reaction. I hadn't expected that. I hadn't expected anything.

"The Bethesda Fountain?" I said. "It's in Central Park. You know, the angel?"

"Bethesda? Did you say Bethesda?"

"Yeah," I said. "I'm sure you've heard of it."

Her eyes were wild. "Where is it? The fountain? Where is it?" She hurried over to see the map.

I pointed to it. "It's here. Not really on the way to the zoo, but it's worth the detour."

"I, I can't..." Ginny hurried to her phone, grabbing it, dialing.

"Akira?" Colin called.

"Yes, yes, cafe," the Japanese man said. He and his wife collected their coffee.

My eyes were on Ginny, the way she was holding her phone to her ear.

"It's me! Call me! Super urgent! Shocking news!" She hung up and started packing up her laptop and books in a hurry.

"Brent?" Colin said, getting my attention. He pointed at Ginny, giving a shrug of confusion.

I shook my head at him. I took a step closer to Ginny. I knew I should just leave it alone, go back behind my counter, keep my mouth shut.

"Are you okay, miss?" I dropped calling her Ginny. I'd played with her head enough.

She put her backpack on and looked at her watch. She was opening her phone. "Huh?"

"I said are you okay?"

"How far is that fountain from here?" she asked me.

"Oh, 10 minutes, 15 if you're strolling," I said.

"Okay, thanks." She grabbed her cappuccino and started toward the door. "The park's at the end of this street, right? Do I go left or right there? Never mind, I'll map it."

"I'll show you," I said breathlessly. "I can show you."

"What?"

I glanced at the Japanese couple. "I can show you both too. Do you want a guide to the fountain? I walk my dog there every day after work, and I'm about done here."

Colin looked at me. "You are?"

I looked at him. "My shift is almost over."

He sighed and tilted his head. "Seriously?"

"You got this."

"Yes," the Japanese man said, "I would like tour."

"Sure," I said to him. I looked at Ginny. "Do you want to come?"

She looked at her watch. "Ten minutes?"

"It's not far. I'll show you."

"Okay," she said.

I took off my hat and apron, though my heart was hammering so fast, it nearly blew off my chest. "Punch me out?" I said to Colin.

"It's your cute ass."

I led the way outside, and the Japanese couple and Ginny followed me. I stopped for a moment.

"Let me grab my dog."

"Your dog?" Ginny said. "Where is he? I don't have a lot of time."

"He's right here. One minute."

The Japanese couple didn't fully understand me, but they waited as I rushed into the alley and down the stairs, opening the door. "Max!" I said. He barked and ran to me. I grabbed his leash.

Grandma turned to me. "Where's my grandson? You're letting the heat out."

"It's me, Grandma, just taking Max for a walk."

"Did James send you?"

"I'll be back in an hour, promise," I said, leashing Max.

"Can you tell my grandson to bring my medicine?"

"Will do!" I said, closing the door.

I hurried up the stairs. Max was barking. He suddenly jumped at Ginny and started turning in circles. I wondered if he recognized her scent.

"Whoa!" I said, pulling him back. "I'm so sorry!"

She laughed and patted his head. "Oh, he's adorable, very friendly."

"He is. His name is Max. Max, behave. All right, everyone ready? Follow me."

I led the way, and Ginny walked beside me. The Japanese couple followed behind, speaking in Japanese. Then Akira said, "How long is walk?"

"Ten minutes," I said. "Not far."

"Okay. Good!" he said, giving me the thumbs up.

I smiled at him, and then I smiled at Ginny. Walking beside her was like walking on the clouds.

She smiled back, sipping her mocha cappuccino. "This is very nice of you."

"Oh, it's fine. I have to walk Max," I said. Then I asked the question burning in my soul for the last six weeks. "Have you been to the fountain before?"

"No, never," she said.

"Oh," I said. "Are you from New York?"

"Yes, I just hadn't heard the name before."

"Really?" I said in surprise. My mind was racing now. Is that why she never met me? Did she not know where to meet? But then, she hadn't called me either. "So, why the sudden urge to see it?"

She stared ahead vacantly for a moment. "I was gonna meet someone there, but I didn't, so I don't know. I'd like to see it."

My throat burned. "Oh, why didn't you meet him, her, whoever?"

She glanced at me. "Well, you know how guys are. Sometimes... it's just not right."

"I... I'm not..."

Her phone rang. She answered it immediately. "Quinn! Yes. No, no, I'm fine. I have huge news. No, I'll tell you later. I can't talk now. Cuz I'm with people, but I'll call you in half an hour. Yeah. Uh-huh. Okay. Yup, bye."

I was a little confused, but I was starting to feel better. She hadn't stood me up, not exactly anyway. Of course, she'd obviously made zero effort to search for the word Bethesda. It would have immediately led her to the fountain. That told me plenty.

The back of my brain was still screaming to tell her the truth, reveal my secret identity, but it would be a disaster. I knew it now. She'd had two chances to find me, and she'd passed them up. Walking to the fountain didn't change that. This was mere curiosity. I had to think of this as I had earlier, as my goodbye.

"So, I saw you studying. Are you a student?" I asked.

"Yes, I go to NYU."

"Nice," I said. "What do you study?"

"Law. You?"

"Oh, uh, nothing," I said with a laugh. "I'm hoping to go to university eventually, just trying to get some money together first."

"Oh, cool. What's your area of interest?"

"I'm not sure," I said, feeling embarrassed. "Maybe art or something. I draw a lot. You should check out my Deviant account. It's pretty sick. I've got a few hundred followers."

"That's great. And you make amazing coffee. You can always fall back on that."

"Really?"

"Yeah, really. You make the best mocha cappuccinos in the city, and I think I've tasted half the places in New York."

"Wow, thanks."

She smiled at me. "Your friend is very cute."

"Who, Colin? Yeah, he's a good guy."

"I know it's not my business, but I think you embarrassed him earlier."

I nearly tripped over Max. "I did? Me? I embarrassed him?"

"I think he's out and proud, you know? That's not easy. He wants the best for you, to be out and proud with him."

"Oh," I said, rubbing my face. What do I do? Let her believe this lie, or correct her and make Colin a liar? The question was, did I want more than this goodbye? If this was goodbye, it didn't matter what the truth was. If I wanted more, I needed to tell her I was available. "I'm... figuring life out."

"I understand. It's hard, huh?"

"You have no idea."

Max barked and pressed his nose into Ginny's hand. She laughed and stroked his head. "He's adorable. Is he a pure golden retriever?"

"I don't know, actually," I said. "I found him in an alley when he was a puppy. No idea how he got there, who he belonged to, no collar, nothing. I looked for missing dog posters, but I didn't find any. We've been brothers ever since."

"That's nice," she said. "I love animals. I've always wanted a dog or a cat or anything, but my parents would never allow it."