There and Back Again Ch. 178

I went back to whispering, "Don't hide your scars from me. You never have to hide anything from me."

He sighed. "Okay. I hear you. I won't promise never to be self-conscious, but I'll work on it, okay?"

I nodded and hugged him tighter. He grunted.

I could hear the humour enter his voice. "Now listen, you minx. You got me all worked up and mounted yourself up here, only to just...sit there. If you don't get moving, I may expire of sexual frustration, and my scars will be the least of our worries." He slapped my ass -- not hard enough to sting, but enough to make me jump and giggle. His groan made my core tighten, and we both shuddered.

"Please?" he begged, and I couldn't resist anymore either.

I anchored my hands on his shoulders and lifted, and then I rode him as though both of our lives depended on it. And perhaps they did; I knew that if I wasn't able to reestablish the connection between us and get past his ridiculous concern about his scars, at the very least our relationship would be in deep trouble.

His hands alternated between my hips, urging me on as I slammed down on him, and my breasts, teasing and rolling my nipples as I cried out into his mouth. And the whole time I refused to let him turn away, making it obvious that his scar certainly wasn't making me hesitate in any way. When I came, my core pulsing and massaging his length, I was certain he forgot all about his scars as he stiffened and filled me with a strangled shout.

We collapsed together and slept, both of us sated and content, dreamless until the morning.

After that night, Alistair was far more tolerant of me seeing him; he didn't bother with bandages, and even allowed me to massage his scars daily with oil. His muscles slowly stopped aching, and he began walking around more, carefully building back his strength and stamina. It was such a relief to see him moving again that I had to turn away to hide the tears that pooled in my eyes -- I didn't want him to think they were anything other than tears of complete joy.

Each day I left him briefly to meet Ena in the market; Alistair wasn't impressed, once he got past himself enough to think about what I'd done, but he couldn't deny it was a good idea. It would cost us very little, and if we found her, could save us some time and significant risk to Aedan, Zevran, and even Larus.

"You listen to Avanna, and come right back," he repeated for the millionth time as I got ready to go out a couple of days later. "Don't take any risks."

I rolled my eyes, pressed one, ardent, lingering kiss to his lips, and then left him at the inn to exercise as much as he was able while I went out. Avanna had insisted she be one of the two guards that accompanied me every time I left the inn; I'd become used to having them, and even appreciate them a little when they were able to part the crowds in the streets to let me through. There are some perks for being a noble, even if they make me feel way too guilty.

As usual, I directed Avanna to drop a few coins into the cups of any children begging along our route, and I spent much of the walk considering ways to convince the leaders of Wycome -- whether the Chantry or the secular rulers -- to direct more funds to the poor and homeless of the city. If they've got enough coin to obsessively groom those parks that barely even get used, certainly they could afford a sodding soup kitchen!

In the end, though, there was nothing I could do; even if I flaunted my status as a Princess of Ferelden -- something I was forbidden to do -- no visiting noble was going to change the entire culture of a nation. And it certainly wasn't limited to Wycome. The best I could do was enforce that change within my own sphere of influence at home -- and hope it would spread. I sighed and kept walking, making for the stall where someone sold the most delicious meat pies, hoping Ena would be a few moments late and I'd get the chance to eat before we talked.

Of course the elf showed up two seconds after I'd shoved an enormous bite of meat pie into my mouth, and the impish grin on her face told me she'd timed it that way on purpose. I chewed quickly, struggling not to choke, while she laughed; even Avanna's usual stoic expression was replaced with a hint of a smile, and I sighed.

Finally swallowing with a dramatic gulp, I rolled my eyes at the young woman I was meeting. "Yeah, yeah. What are you, twelve?" She covered her smile with one hand, and I chose to ignore it. "So?"

Her amused expression dropped, and she paused to watch me thoughtfully for a moment. I wondered what she was looking for -- and what she saw. "Just...tell me again? Why do you want this elf?"

My pulse picked up. She's never done this at our previous meetings, usually just shaking her head with her hand held out expectantly. The change could only mean one thing: she'd found -- or thought she'd found -- Arathea.

"Her companion is looking for her. Says he loves her. I just want to find out if she wants to see him -- and make sure she's safe, one way or the other. I swear to you, we will not harm her, or force her to come with us."

She continued watching me skeptically. "I've kept an eye on you, you know." I nodded; it didn't surprise me. I'd do the same if I were her. "You're not who you say you are, your Highness."

I sighed. I'd hoped it wouldn't come to this, but if it were an attempt at blackmail, it had a pretty good chance of being successful. I'd had it drilled into me multiple times -- by Aedan, by Fergus -- that we really couldn't afford for the nobles of Wycome to learn who we were. An international political incident was not the plan. I'd known it was a risk, but I'd hoped...well. It didn't matter what I'd hoped.

"If you've been watching me, you can probably guess why." She nodded, so I asked, "What do you plan to do about it?"

She was tense, like she expected an attack; she was going to be disappointed. I didn't make a move for my weapons, nor did I signal Avanna, who stood a few paces away.

"You're not really a normal noble at all, are you?" I couldn't help but grin, and she snorted. "Nothing. I'm not going to do anything about it." I tilted my head in surprise, and she continued, "For now. I just wanted you to know that I know."

Ahh, insurance policy. This I could work with; I really was doing exactly what I'd told her I'd do. I waited.

"I think I've found your elf."

"Excellent. Where is she?"

With one more long, assessing look, she gestured and turned. "Come on. I'll show you."