There and Back Again Ch. 071-072

The whole time, it was like I'd gone deaf. The last sound I'd heard was the snap of bone breaking, and after that there was just silence. I could see Alistair's lips moving, so clearly he was talking to me, but I could make out nothing of what he was saying. When Sten moved my leg, the pain made my head spin and my vision tunnel, and it felt like I screamed again, but I heard nothing.

And then we were surrounded by people, and someone was pressing something against my lips, pouring something into my mouth, and then a second time and a third. Even as I choked and sputtered as the fluid finally went down, I started noticing a strange buzzing that preceded the return of my normal hearing. It was like something from a movie, where they mute the sound to emphasize the gravity of a situation. And as disconcerting as the silence was, the sound wasn't exactly welcome when it turned back on. Alistair was mumbling, half-prayer, half-platitude, his eyes searching the crowd who'd gathered around me wildly. People were talking, though I couldn't make out many of the words, and the noise was irritating.

And above all that, was the sound of a woman screaming. Probably one of the castle's servants, who's never seen a major injury before. I opened my mouth to ask someone to take the annoying woman away, only to realise that my mouth was already open. I closed it, and the screaming cut off. Oh, it was me. Huh. The pain started to dull a bit, and as my wits returned to me, it occurred to me that the liquid someone had poured down my throat was a healing potion. Not that I thought it would fix what was obviously a badly broken leg, but it did help with the pain.

Finally the crowd parted, and Tomas ushered Wynne through the gap. I smiled, relieved, and was happy to notice Alistair looking relieved too.

"Wynne," I drawled, words slurring. "I think...I mighta broke my leg."

I felt warm and fuzzy, and my vision started to blur. I had trouble keeping my eyes open, and my head spinning felt almost nice. I heard Wynne say something about healing, and Lyrium, but I was too sleepy to really pay any attention. Alistair turned my face back to his, forcing me to make eye contact.

"Sierra, you must stay awake. Do you hear me? Just look at me, sweetheart. I'm right here. That's it, just keep your eyes open. I promise you can sleep in a few minutes, but not yet, okay? Stay with me."

I was briefly distracted by a lance of pain shooting up from my leg, but then the warm sensation of healing spread through me, and I relaxed again in Alistair's grip. "You have pretty eyes," I mumbled.

I heard someone snort a laugh, but Alistair just flushed slightly and smiled at me. "That's right. Just keep looking into my pretty eyes. You can do this."

I noticed again when the aura of healing increased, but couldn't muster the energy to turn and look at what was happening. I stared at Alistair's face -- not only his eyes, but his pouty lips, his aquiline nose, his bronze and pink skin. He's so beautiful.

"I think," I swallowed and tried again, "that I'm going to throw up."

I managed to turn my head slightly, and vomited noisily onto the dirt of the training ground. Alistair held my hair back as I retched, tears pricking my eyes. Someone handed me a water skin, and I took a drink before rinsing out my mouth and spitting. I started feeling a bit better, less woozy, after vomiting, until I slumped again in Alistair's arms. Someone took that opportunity to pull my boot off and prick my skin with something sharp. I cursed and tried to pull away, which drove a spike of pain through my knee, and I finally, blissfully, blacked out.

Chapter Seventy-Two: Protective Instincts

When I woke, I was in a nightgown, in a bed, but it wasn't my bed. I lifted my head to look around; Alistair was dozing in a chair on one side of the bed, Teagan, Eamon, and Theron were seated on chairs facing each other on the other side, and Aedan, Zev, Tomas, and Wynne huddled together by a large hearth. Aedan? When did he get back? How long have I been out? My head and stomach seemed to have sorted themselves out, but my leg ached abominably.

As my head cleared, I realised I was actually in Eamon's room. In his bed. Isolde's bed. Maybe it was the only room big enough for everyone to fit, or something, but it was seriously creepy. He'd been comatose in this exact spot a few weeks prior. I tried to stifle the disgusted grunt that burst forth... unsuccessfully. It wasn't loud, but it was enough to wake Alistair; he leapt off the chair, moving to sit on the edge of the bed, calling out to Wynne as he moved.

Alistair took my hand just as everyone arrived around the large bed, and I was suddenly the centre of attention for eight people. I knew I probably had been for quite some time, but it didn't count -- I'd been unconscious. Now it was embarrassing, and a bit intimidating.

"Um, hi."

Alistair kissed the back of my hand, and Aedan frowned. When I didn't pull away, he huffed and seemed to decide to ignore it, for now.

"Sierra...you scared the pants off everyone today. What were you thinking?" Aedan scowled at me.

I laughed. "It's good to see you too, brother. I feel terrible, thanks, why do you ask?"

He flushed, irritation flashing across his features. I sighed. "I thought I was sparring with Sten. I thought I should try to learn how to fight a little better before I end up stuck in the Deep Roads without the ability to defend myself. I failed to take into account that Sten probably doubles my weight. No one mentioned that those throws don't work on someone so much larger than yourself..."

His jaw dropped. "You tried to throw Sten?" His voice went higher in pitch the closer to the end of the sentence, until he squeaked the last word.

"What, no one told you? I tried to throw him. He left me with an opening. I took it. It didn't end well."

"No one seemed exactly sure what had happened." He glared impartially around the room. "Why would you try to throw Sten?"

"I got cocky? I wanted to prove to him that I wasn't totally useless. It was stupid." I shrugged my shoulders, which wiggled the bed, jarring my leg and dragging a hiss of pain out of my mouth. Alistair squeezed my hand helplessly, as Wynne pushed Aedan and Tomas out of the way and ran one of her diagnostics over my supine form.

"I need some space, and Anders. And perhaps Dariel and Morrigan. And some Lyrium." She gave everyone except Alistair a look, and they all got the hint, scattering to find the other people she'd asked for and some Lyrium. A couple of minutes later, I saw Leli at the door, escorting Anders -- she waved, and I smiled -- and shortly after that, Morrigan, Dariel and Aedan showed up, each carrying an armful of slightly glowing, silvery-blue potion bottles.

"Is it really that bad?" My eyes were wide, and my heart started pounding. Three healers, another mage, and that much Lyrium? How screwed am I?

Wynne smiled reassuringly. "No dear. It's just your magical resistance. I set your leg earlier, and Dariel helped me heal it enough so you could be moved; now we need to finish it. You'll be as good as new, I promise."

I turned towards Anders. "Okay...but is this going to be like that other time?" I could feel myself blushing. It had felt good, but I did not particularly want it happening again, especially not in front of Alistair. Or Aedan, for that matter.

"No, no. Limbs don't get that sort of...response." He winked, and I blushed even harder. I felt Alistair's hand twitch; in retrospect, I wondered what watching Anders heal me had cost him, as I writhed and moaned. I wonder what not punching Anders at this moment is costing him.

Aedan looked confused, but before he could ask, Wynne started talking. "Alright, focus, please. Aedan, Alistair, if you insist on staying, be quiet. Anders, you will lead. Dariel, do what I do. Morrigan, you're back-up."

The elf and the human nodded, while the witch just sniffed dismissively, and I felt Anders' magic flare, followed by Wynne's, then after a few moments, by Dariel's. Wynne pulled the covers back, baring my leg; all I could see were bandages. And then my head was swimming again, as somehow the mages combined their power, and Anders directed it at me. I didn't know they could do that.

It didn't hurt, exactly, but it wasn't pleasant either. I could feel something -- bones, I assumed -- sliding underneath my skin, and crunching into place, then Wynne gasped and chugged a Lyrium potion. Morrigan twitched, but relaxed again when Wynne's expression eased. It kept going, and started to feel like someone was compressing my skin, then I felt it ease off somewhat. My skin began to itch, and I felt dizzy; Dariel reached out to grab a Lyrium potion. It went on and on. Anders started to sweat, his face became ashen, but he finally stopped casting before swaying on his feet.

When the world finally held still again and the nausea abated, I had a bit of residual stiffness, but my pain was gone. I smiled up at the three healers, only to see Anders' eyes flutter; Aedan grabbed a chair and placed it behind him, guiding him to sit before he fell. Dariel looked at the tall blond man with an expression of awe; even Wynne looked impressed.

"Wynne?"

"Hmm? Oh, everything's fine, Sierra. Anders just depleted himself too much." She turned to the person in question. "Why didn't you take some Lyrium?"

"Didn't need it." His voice was weak, but audible.

Wynne tsk'd, but cast a quick rejuvenation spell; Anders almost immediately perked up. He stood, murmuring thanks, and with a smile and a wave, left the room with Morrigan, talking animatedly. I heard something about Chantry fools and towers, and figured they were probably bonding over their mutual disdain for the Circle, the templars, and the Chantry in general. Dariel followed, asking questions about mana reserves and spell control. Wynne watched them go with an exasperated look and a shake of her head.

"That boy is going to hurt himself one day doing that."

"What did he do, Wynne?" Aedan asked.

"He has one of the deepest mana pools I've ever seen, and a very powerful spirit. He is, easily, the most talented healer outside of the Tevinter Imperium, and maybe even within it. But he thinks he will never run out of mana, never go too far. He's reckless. It should have taken twice as much Lyrium, at least, for what we just did, if we'd had anyone other than him leading that. He made up the difference. But he wouldn't have been able to heal a paper cut after."

"What would happen if someone completely ran out?"

"To be honest, I don't know. Most of us aren't able to go that far. There's a self-defense mechanism in there that prevents it. Anders...I don't know how, but he's overcome it, and not only in life-or-death situations. It makes me wonder what was done to him, either in the tower, or perhaps after being captured at some point. He hates the tower so much...there had to be something."

We fell silent in contemplation of that, and I knew that at least the four of us would be watching him a little more closely for a while.

Wynne finally shrugged and turned to me. "As for you, young lady..."

I blushed and ducked my head. "I know, I know, no more trying to throw Sten."

Aedan jumped up, agitated. "No more sparring at all!"

I rolled my eyes, but Alistair cut in. "You'd really leave her defenseless when we're heading into the Deep Roads? Besides, that isn't our choice to make, Aedan. It's theirs." He pointed at me and then Wynne in succession.

Wynne cleared her throat, interrupting the explosion I could see coming. "Yes, well. Definitely no sparring for a week. I want to make sure that knee is solid before you go testing it again."

"But it will be okay after that?"

"Yes, dear. It's probably better than it was before."

"So I can walk? Like, now?"

She nodded, and I pushed aside the blankets and sprang to my feet. It didn't hurt, and I almost cried with relief. I turned and wrapped the elderly healer in a hug, and then kissed her cheek. "You're the best, Wynne."

"You should thank Anders and Dariel. I just provided a bit of power. Anders did the real work."

"I'll thank him when I see him," I promised. "Both of them."

Aedan was standing there, practically vibrating; I turned and hugged him as well. "I'm okay. It's okay."

"Sierra...I can't even... We got back in the middle of the commotion. You weren't conscious, you were barely breathing. There was a pool of blood under you, and you wouldn't wake up. You can't tell me that's okay."

Wynne cut in. "That's just her reaction to the healing, Aedan. She was conscious before that."

"I admit it wasn't pleasant, but I need to learn, Aedan. This world isn't like where I grew up. I thought I could just coast through, rely on you and everyone to take care of me, but that's not only not fair, it's stupid. At some point I'm going to be alone, even if by accident, and I need to know how to handle myself."

I felt him shudder, but finally his arms came around me. He looked over my shoulder at Wynne and Alistair. "Can I talk to my sister alone for a moment?"

They shuffled out of the room, and I pulled back. "You're not going to convince me to stop training, you know."

He sighed. "I know. But I wanted to talk to you about something else."

"Ahh. Alistair?" He nodded. "Yeah...this wasn't supposed to be how you found out."

"So it's true? You've forgiven him?"

"I have."

"But...how? What he did..."

"Was stupid. I know it, and so does he. But really, I should have expected it. His insecurity... Anyways, we've worked through it. If anything, I think we'll be better now than before."

"How can you be so calm? I'm still angry, and he didn't even do it to me. He's my best friend, and I still want to punch him every time I see him."

"That's because you're my protective big brother."

"Ha! Now you admit you're the little sister?"

I laughed. "I suppose I'll have to. But seriously, Aedan...we're okay. Better than okay. I need you to be able to accept that. He didn't mean to hurt me. It seems to be a theme with Theirin men."

"Yeah I saw Ca...Theron watching pretty avidly downstairs when you were hurt. He looked concerned, but not in a..."

"Drooling lecher sort of way? Yeah. I think he sees me as a sister, or at least an in-law. Finally."

"A lot happened while I was away, I take it?"

"Not as much as it sounds. Just a lot of discussions. But that's beside the point. How did it go with your trip? Everyone freak out at their first sight of darkspawn?"

"A little. Not too bad. After the first hesitation, they did alright. Jowan's more use in a fight than I thought he would be, and Anders is...awe-inspiring, actually. Not just at healing. His frost spells...anyway. Solona, on the other hand, is a little frightening with hexes and nightmares."

"Oh, she's an entropy mage? I never thought to ask. Yeah, creepy."

"But effective."

"So everyone got their...uh..." I checked the open door to ensure no one was listening. "Blood?" I whispered.

"Yup."

"Learn anything about Anders and Solona?"

"Other than she's mightily angry, no. She didn't speak to him the entire time."

"Oh." I deflated. "That's disappointing. When's the Joining?"

"We'd have had it already if you hadn't decided to smash your knee to bits! We'll do it as soon as everyone's had a chance to clean up. Will you come?"

"I'd like to, yeah. Speaking of, know why Tomas isn't offering the Joining to any of our companions?"

"I do, actually. I asked him that. He said he was concerned that they'd learned too many Grey Warden secrets, that if he asked, and they in any way indicated knowledge of said Warden secrets, he'd be forced to conscript them, and he didn't want to do that."

"So we're going with 'don't ask, don't tell' then?"

"I...suppose."

"Right. Well, I don't think Morrigan would have Joined anyway, nor Leli, and I have a hard time picturing Sten as a Warden somehow too. Wynne shouldn't, what with her passenger, so...I guess it doesn't matter. Anyway, I'm assuming I'm still covered in blood under all the bandages. And I'm wearing pyjamas. How about I go get cleaned up, and I'll meet you downstairs?"

He agreed, and I wandered off to my room, glad I wouldn't have to stay in Eamon's. I imagined he was happy about that, too; probably disgusted at having me contaminate his silk sheets. When I opened my door, I found Alistair, sitting on the edge of my bed, looking unsettled. He'd changed, wearing just trousers and a tunic. I went over and climbed into his lap, and he held me to him tightly as he settled back on the bed.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I didn't mean to scare you again."

"I have to admit you were sort of cute after Wayne gave you those potions. Right up until you threw up, anyways. I bet you're a funny drunk."

I stuck my tongue out at him, and he chuckled. "I want to thank you for what you said to Aedan."

He shrugged. "I didn't do anything."

"No, seriously. I know you probably agree with him, and want me to stop sparring, to stay out of the fighting...thank you for understanding that I can't. Thank you for supporting my decisions."

He kissed my forehead. "If I made you change to be with me, it wouldn't be you anymore. Doesn't mean it doesn't scare me half to death. Or that I won't be trying to stop you in future when I forget."

"I'm glad you were there. I knew I was safe, because you were with me."

"So...how angry is Aedan?"

"He's more...surprised. Am I that rigid? No one believed I could learn to forgive you."

"Well, you were pretty angry. But I, for one, am not going to complain."

I kissed him softly, feeling a surge of desire, which I ruthlessly suppressed. I pulled away reluctantly. "I have to get cleaned up, and we have a Joining to go to."

He groaned. "Let's just stay here instead." His fingers slide under my nightgown, stroking my thigh, and I squirmed.

"Hey, that's cheating." I clambered out of his lap, heading to my wash basin.

I smirked as he grunted when I pulled off my nightgown, but he came over to help me with the bandages, which were stuck in place with blood. We peeled them off, and I was grateful again for the healing, because there was no scab to rip off. I grabbed a cloth and soaked it; Alistair took it from my hand as soon as I rung it out, and gently started washing the blood off my leg. It wasn't doing anything to defuse my arousal, and when he finished washing and kissed my thigh, I had to quash the urge to turn slightly and let him continue.

I reluctantly stepped away, heading over to the armoire where my clothes were. I put on my faux velvet dress, then swept my hair up into a messy bun. "I'm so having a shower tomorrow." I muttered.

"Ooh. Can I come?" We exchanged anticipatory grins.

Finally ready, we headed downstairs; as usual, we found everyone in the library. To my surprise, Morrigan was there, though she left just after we arrived. I supposed it made sense -- the Joining potion required a mage to create, and she was already familiar with the process after Soldier's Peak. And then there were just the seven of us; three recruits, three Grey Wardens, and me, whatever I was.

I hugged Anders, thanking him profusely for healing me again; he shrugged it off, but neither of us missed the irritated sniff coming from Solona. I couldn't wait to have some girl time with Solona; I hoped she'd tell me what was going on.

The three mages were clearly nervous; I could sympathise, having gone through the same thing recently. It occurred to me that there was something we could at least improve upon, and I pushed and pulled until Aedan stood near Jowan, Alistair behind Anders, and I stood behind Solona. Anders watched the process suspiciously.