Thin Resolve Ch. 03

Hi, all! First, I want to apologize for how long it's taken me to get back to this story. Fortunately, I'm on a schedule now where the last two installments will be released in July so no more lengthier delays (hopefully)! Thank you all for reading and commenting! I love reading what people have to say, and I appreciate all of your responses! 

Enjoy, and as always, all feedback is welcome!

---

Lane

A month had gone by since the last time we saw Janice. Brian was able to prove to the courts that Janice was threatening himself and the children by way of James as a witness. He was immediately granted another temporary full custody agreement but it would only last six weeks. This last month he and his lawyers have worked tirelessly to figure out Janice's ulterior motives before she could legally get at the kids again.

We were worried what would happen at the end of the six weeks but for now, the children were safe from her clutches. However, that didn't change Brian's mind about his decision to cool things off between us.

Brian was still hesitant that she would return so he kept his promise that he wouldn't touch me again until he knew she was gone for good. I missed having his arms around me but I couldn't change his mind. Nothing had happened between us in the last month besides stolen looks and slight caresses when we passed each other. Not so much as a kiss was shared between us. Brian had been keeping his distance so not only has our physical touch been minimal, I've barely even spoken to him unless it's about the children.

My body was strung out everyday from having to be in such close quarters to Brian in the house yet not allowed to touch him or talk to him.

Even though things with Brian had been bittersweet, my job as Jenna and Luke's Nanny was going phenomenally. I was worried that the reappearance of their mother may rock the relationship I was trying to build but they took to me almost immediately.

---

"Lane, if you could marry any superhero, which one would it be?"

I throw my head back in laughter as I roll my head over to the kitchen table to look at Jenna. This afternoon, she, Luke and I were decorating cupcakes. We had originally planned to go to the zoo but the weather forced us inside. I don't think any of us minded though because it meant we could eat Hattie's delicious cooking and just talk to each other. And by talk, I mean humor Jenna's ridiculous questions. She asked a least 20 random questions an hour and it was up to Luke and I to answer them as best as we could.

Though Luke was very quiet in the beginning when I had just started, the more we started to spend all of our time together, spurred by Jenna's inquisitive personality, he really started to open up to me. Though Jenna still dominated the conversation the majority of the time, Luke was getting more vocal every day.

Mulling over Jenna's question, I consider just not answering. The children knew I was gay from the very beginning, so it's not their reaction when I inevitably name a male superhero as opposed to the few women there are to choose from. I pause because I know she'll hate my answer if I name anyone other than her favorite and one true love, Superman.

Preparing myself for a rant, I reply through a chuckle, "I never really thought much about it before, but I guess I'd have to go with Mr. Incredible."

Predictably, Jenna and Luke both looked at me like I was crazy but it was Jenna who shouted out first, "Mr. Incredible? Lane! That's not what I meant! I mean like Superman or Batman! Why would anyone want to be married to Mr. Incredible? He's boring!"

Shaking my head at her rant, I continue to pipe frosting on the top of the cupcakes so I can take them over to the table for the children to decorate. Every time Jenna gets into an argument, I fall in love with her stubborn brain over and over again. She would be quite the lawyer someday.

Though I usually don't think too much about her questions, because she asks them all day long, this one gives me pause. With my back to the children, I think out loud and say, "Well, you may think he's boring, Jenna, but Mr. Incredible has all the traits I would want in a husband. He's kind, honest, loyal, and a wonderful father to his children. He respects his partner and he trusts her. The other heroes are strong and handsome, but Mr. Incredible is someone you could build a life with. Someone you could grow old with."

I had been talking so long, when I finally come to the end of my sentence, I wonder if the children are still listening as the kitchen goes intensely quiet. Wondering if they're even still there, I turn around and find Brian paused in the doorway, an indiscernible look on his face. His eyes search my own, appraising me and my body.

Embarrassed at being overheard on such a personal answer, my checks flush red as I lower my eyes to the ground, allowing my overgrown bangs to fall in front of my face.

Dedicated to keeping things casual between Brian and me, I murmur, "Hello, sir. How are you today?"

Brian walks further into the room and stops when he's just a few inches from my body, successfully boxing me in between him and the counter. With nowhere to go, I look up into his eyes and see his face has transformed into a small frown.

"I told you, Lane," he admonishes, "you don't have to call me "Sir". Brian is fine. And I'm doing great today. How are you? How's your sugar?"

"Okay, sir. I mean Brian!" I rush out.

Continuing on as Brian just shakes his head, I say, "I'm doing great too. My sugar is fine. The kids and I have just been in here making cupcakes and talking about..." My voice trails off as I remember what he just overheard. Unfortunately, Jenna has had enough of watching the grownups talk and decides to interject.

"We were talking about which superhero Lane would marry and he picked Mr. Incredible but that's gross because he's boring. He can't even fly!"

A surprised chuckle escapes me at Jenna's outburst. Luke is silent again but this time it's because he's watching his Dad and I very closely.

I turn to my left as I hear Brian chuckle a few times and then say, "I don't think that choice is boring at all. It's incredibly hard to find someone loyal and amazing with children. I would probably marry him too." Brian's eyes never leave my own as he speaks to Jenna. Even though Mr. Incredible is super-hot, I know he's not actually talking about the movie character. He's talking about me.

The chatter of the kids behind me fade as my focus narrows on Brian, so close to me I can feel his breath. If I were three steps closer, I could just reach out and pull him by his tie, finally kissing him after so long-

Briiing! Briiing!

I jump as Brian's cellphone goes off in his pocket, causing him to step back from me by several feet, blinking as if he fell into the same daze as I.

Muttering his apologies, he holds his phone up in explanation and hurries from the room, presumably to take the call.

Shaking myself, I turn to the kids and find Jenna chattering away but Luke has his curious eyes trained on the spot his father just vacated. Deciding the superhero-husband conversation should be left in the past, I decide to distract them with our zoo plans.

"So, since we got rained out today, how about we leave for the zoo super early tomorrow so we can spend the whole day there?" I question, hoping that the kids don't notice the breathless lilt to my voice.

Jenna is none the wiser as she jumps from her chair and exclaims, "Yes! I can't wait to see ALL the animals!"

As she chatters on naming every animal that ever existed, and some that I'm sure don't even exist, I turn to Luke and give him a soft smile.

"What about you, buddy? Are you okay with getting up early?" I say.

Luke stares at me for a moment and gives a small nod. Thinking that that was all I was getting out of him, I turn back to decorating the cupcakes.

"Is my Dad coming?"

I nearly drop the piping bag when I turn back around to Luke's contemplative face, waiting for an answer.

Speaking through the lump in my throat, I say, "Is he coming where?"

"To the zoo," Luke says shortly.

"Uh, I don't know, buddy. Your Dad's kind of busy right now but-"

"But he would love to come to the zoo with you and your sister," Brian speaks from the doorway.

Startled again, I turned toward him but he's already looking at me. Searching my face for something I can't discern.

"Really? You're coming, Dad?" Jenna squeals from her chair at the table. I guess the idea of her father joining us on the zoo trip was enough to grab her attention away from her endless monologue of animals.

"Really," Brian says to Jenna through a smile. 'That is, if Lane's okay with me tagging along?"

Quickly nodding my head, I rush out, "Of course! But if you want this to be just a family thing I can-"

"Nonsense, we'll all go," Brian hurries to interrupt me before I can excuse myself. "Tomorrow is perfect. The day after I have a charity ball to attend for a non-profit I sponsor but tomorrow I have all day to spend with the two of you. And Lane."

"Wonderful," I reply through a tight smile. Turning around, I let the smile fall as a worried frown takes its place. I'm ecstatic Brian gets to spend time with his kids but how will I make it through a whole day with the sexiest man alive when I'm not even allowed to touch him? I've been able to resist temptation so far because Brian hasn't been around that much but tomorrow is different.

I just have to keep my cool and not look too long at his thick, muscled body and his strong arms. I just can't let myself remember the way he manhandled me against the washer that first day, and the feel of his cock sliding down my throat-

Oh god.

Yep. That won't be hard at all.

---

Brian

"Alright, here's a cooler with some sandwiches and drinks for all of you. I want you to call me when you get to San Diego, okay?" Hattie urges while handing me the cooler.

Behind me, Lane buckles Luke into his booster seat while Jenna remains passed out, already buckled and ready to go.

"Of course, Hattie. I'll have Lane give you a call since I'll be driving. You should expect us back around 3 or 4," I reply absentmindedly. My attention gets taken as I watch Lane secure Luke, giving him a sweet ruffle of the hair as he shuts the door behind him. Luke looks at Lane with starry eyes before nodding off in sleep to join his dozing sister.

Turning back to Hattie, I redden when I notice her watching me. It's obvious I wasn't discreet enough while watching Lane with my son. Thankfully, Hattie doesn't say anything.

With a nod and a hug, I leave her standing and waving by the front door while Lane ad I load the rest of the stuff into the trunk of the car. James offered a hundred times to pack everything himself but Fridays are is only off day and I thought there wouldn't be that much to load. But I was very wrong.

You'd think that because the kids are older we wouldn't need as much stuff as when they were babies but Lane insisted on first aid kits, water toys (when we wouldn't even be near water), and god knows what else.

"Jesus, Lane," I murmur while throwing all my weight against the trunk, "you do realize this is a day trip right? We don't need to bring the entirety of my children's lives with us."

Lane leans against the trunk with me, panting tiny breaths as he replies, "I know. It's probably overkill but I just want to make sure they have a good time. And that we have everything in case something goes wrong."

With a final shove, the two of us get the trunk shut. Righting myself, I look over at Lane and catch a worried look on his face. I can't help myself as I move forward, taking his chin in my hand. Quickly, his eyes jump to mine and the worry vanishes to be replaced with shock.

Bending my head low, I ask, "You have nothing to worry about. The kids are going to have a great day today and it's all because of you."

Lane tries to look away but I hold his chin firm, staring him down until he concedes. He doesn't smile but his face relaxes.

Nodding, he moves to slide away from me but the feel of his body against mine when I've been denying myself for a month is just too good. I can't help myself when I grab his waist and pull him, slotting his body against mine. I hear his heavy breathing, feel it stutter as it sweeps across my neck as he looks up at me. There's lust in his eyes but also hesitation.

All I want to do is push him against my Benz and ravage him, giving into the passion I denied both of us when Janice made her reappearance. But just thinking that name allows me to pull away from him, leaving him panting against the car.

Janice.

I told Lane I wouldn't touch him until she went away for good. And I wasn't anywhere close to figuring out why she was back. So for now, I'll climb in the car and take my kids to the zoo, pretending the boy still leaning against the trunk isn't the only thing on my mind.

---

A half hour on the road goes by in complete silence as the kids snooze in the backseat. Lane sits beside me, a crossword puzzle in his hand, his face scrunched up in concentration. I've crashed the car nearly twice risking looks at him while I try to keep my eye on the road.

It took a near five whole minutes for my heart to return to its normal pattern after our scene behind the car. When Lane got in, he didn't say a word. I could tell by his expression that he was upset but I didn't like our separation anymore than he did.

If I could just figure out what Janice wanted and what she's back for. If I had to guess, I would put all my money on this being some sort of cash grab. During my marriage to Janice, I learned of only two things to be consistently true; she's a pathological liar and greedier for money than anyone I've ever known. But none of the things Janice has been doing lately supports the motive that she's back for money.

I hired a private investigator the morning after I spent the night in Lane's bed but the PI said Janice has been on her best behavior. Besides staying at home, the only other things she does include meeting friends for coffee, and going to work at a non-profit in the city. The non-profit is not something I would ever expect of her but it's not exactly illicit behavior. There's been no mysterious behavior or late night visitors, nothing that holds enough proof to keep her away from the children and Lane.

Speaking of Lane, he shifts beside me and I hear a small sigh escape him. Risking a tiny glance, I notice he's typing furiously on his phone, his eyes pinched between the brows.

It's probably just a family member but what if he moved on with someone? Or is planning on it? I wouldn't blame him, but just the thought makes me shift in my seat, physically uncomfortable with the thought.

I know better than to ask but the curiosity gets the better of me. I won't be at peace until I know.

Clearing my throat casually, I ask, "Everything okay?"

Lane's head jerks up and I feel him look at me. His phone falls to his lap as he replies through a sigh, "Yeah, it's just my Mom."

Despite myself, a sigh of relief leaves my body and I really hope it wasn't obvious. Now that my fears are abated, my curiosity grows at the mention of his family. Lanes told me a little about his family, including he's an only child, but not about his parents. Judging from the ways he's reacted when people show him kindness, it's possible he's never been shown that kind of love. Makes me wonder what his life was like before we met.

"Ahh," I say. "Anything you wanna talk about?"

Lane stiffens beside me and says nothing. When I think he's not going to reply, I reach forward to turn on the radio when he blurts in a rush, "My mom is a hypochondriac and she's convinced she has syphilis."

Near crushing silence ascends upon the car as I digest Lane's words. I wish I could look at him but I keep my eyes on the road, careful to maintain my speed as I work through my shock.

"Uhhh," I start, completely at a loss for words.

Lane surprises me with a gut laugh. This time I whip towards him to see a slight grin on his face.

"You should keep your eyes on the road, Brian," he teases. When I turn back he continues, "Sorry for throwing that on you. My Mom is... a lot. Would you believe me if I said this isn't the first time she thinks she had syphilis?"

Despite myself, I laugh but immediately regret it.

"Sorry," I cringe, adjusting again in my seat. I don't want Lane to think I'm offending his mother but to my relief he laughs as well.

"It's okay, you can laugh," he says. His tone is casual but I've known him long enough to hear the pain under his words. "When I was twelve, my Dad took off and I was left with the job of taking care of her. It was so hard in the beginning. She worked thankfully, but I ended up doing every chore, every grocery store trip, and every doctor visit until I escaped to college. All she could focus on was her needs and her health. I came second to everything and it was like I was the parent. But eventually I found a place where I could laugh and ease my pain or else I would have gone crazy. Sometimes it gets to me that I never got to be a kid. I guess that's why I went a little overboard by bringing all the kid's stuff," he finishes sheepishly.

My heart breaks for the man in my passenger seat. When I first met Lane, he seemed so full of life yet so responsible. It makes so much sense now knowing he had all the responsibilities foisted on him. Against my better judgement, my heart opens a little more towards him the more I learn about him.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that Lane," I say while reaching my hand across the gear stick and placing it on his knee.

He stiffens for a moment but then relaxes, placing his own hand on top of mine. He doesn't say anything but it's like all the awkwardness and tension that existed after I put us on hiatus evaporated, and in this moment in the car with my kids sleeping in the back, we're just Lane and Brian.

I could get used to that feeling.

---

Lane

"C'mon, Lane! I wanna see the giraffes!" Jenna screams while pulling my hand. I hear Brian laugh behind me. Looking back, I see Luke on his shoulder as they follow us at a leisurely pace.

"You guys go ahead, we'll catch up," Brian calls. Luke isn't even looking at us, he's just regarding the park and taking it all in, in his own way.

"C'mon!" Jenna yells again, this time achieving her goal of speeding me up. With a laugh, I throw one last look at Brian as I let her pull me towards the giraffe exhibit. This is our last exhibit of the day, as we've been here for nearly four hours now. Just like Jenna wanted, we managed to see every animal in the zoo, save for the giraffes. Every minute since we left the car has been full of memory making joy. I don't think I've enjoyed a day as much as this one, just surrounded by Brian and the kids. I thought that what happened between Brian and I in the car would taint the afternoon but it only made it better.

After holding Brian's hand in the car for nearly 20 minutes, before which I bared my soul about my Mom, he finally let go when the kids started to wake up. It was honestly good timing because we reached the zoo not long after that. After I made a call to Hattie, we loaded the kids straight out of the car and into the zoo. Brian and I didn't have a chance to talk about what happened but I kind of preferred it. If we did, I know he would say that it was a mistake or nothing else can happen because of Janice. I know that. But what I also know is that I'm starting not to give a shit about what she could do to me when being apart from Brian feels much worse than anything she might do.

Holding his hand after I confessed my fucked up life felt more right than anything I've ever felt. The one boyfriend I had before was barely a real relationship. I didn't love him, nor did we ever sleep together. Much less did I tell him anything real about my childhood. The only person I've ever opened up to about that stuff is Brian. Not only did it feel good telling him, but it made me what to tell him everything. All the good and the bad. As much as that thought scares me, it also invigorates me, giving me an extra spring in my step as we near the giraffe exhibit.