Thirst Ch. 07

She didn't expect him to look hurt, of all things, and she immediately wondered what she'd done, what she'd said as he released himself from her arm and looked away from her, his eyes reflecting the street lamp like a large canine's. "Do you even want to hang out with me?"

The question caught her off guard, and she crossed her arms defensively over her chest, fixing him a challenging stare. "You know..." of course he knew she did, right? How couldn't he know that every moment she'd been spending with him, she'd felt more alive than she could remember since her Sire stole her soul? "We're not supposed to do this."

"Carter, yes or no? Do you want to actually be around me?" he pressed her, and she began to feel cornered - every Kindred's existence was built upon a pile of Lies, that was the only thing between the world and the Bestial, fanged maw in place of her soul.

"Yes! I do, okay?!" Monroe's eyes stung; at the least she could restrain her tears.

"Then why are you fighting me every step of the way? We're in the clear now, there aren't any Bloods who'll care about you for miles but it's like...you're telling me you don't want me for anything but sex, or a full belly."

What was this? He looked vulnerable. She could strike out at him now and probably destroy his heart with her words, should she desire...drive him away from her forever and end this fucking danger. "I loved it," Monroe whispered instead.

She couldn't look him in the eyes, instead she took him by the lapels of his nice cotton shirt and pushed him up against the trunk of the tree - easy to forget she was easily as strong as an olympic lifter. "I loved your cheesy poetry. I loved that you thought about a place where we could both go together, like...an actual date, and I am amazed that I haven't driven you away yet." She released him lapels, arms falling to her sides - she didn't noticed that she'd lifted him slightly off the ground until he came back down steadily. "Cuz it ain't like I haven't tried to sabotage this for our own good, but I can't...fucking... quit you."

Those last words were pathetic, they came out of her like a sob and she wanted to just sink into the earth - unfortunately the Dark Gift had not manifested such a power in her, so she had no choice but to simply stand accountable before him for her words.

"You don't think it's the same for me?!" he barked, the sudden intensity reminding her of what he was - the way the blood red flashed in his eyes as that barely-restrained Lupine temper of his flared. "You think all I want from you is sex, or the Kiss? Even if we didn't do any of that, and you never took your clothes off or touched me, I'd still want to be around you because it's fun. I miss it, you know? Someone who challenges my totally correct political positions, someone too smart for the easy jokes. I can do it too, see? I can act and love like a human, I don't need to be the kind of animal I was. Not with you Carter, a'right? So please stop trying to push me away from you, because it breaks my fucking heart. I'm not used to rejection and if you do it again I dunno if I can keep trying. I'm...not anybody's dog, y'know?"

"I know you ain't no dog, I wouldn't have fallen for a dog." Both of them, predators whose senses were ultra-attuned to minor signals in prey, homed in on that accidental admission, and she took a reflexive step back, her fist coming to her lips.

Shame. Fear. Pain.

The Beast reminded her of the cost of letting the lies fall to the wayside, whispering in her head with her own twisted voice the price she'd pay for letting her heart be known. He took a step forward, and she didn't retreat, watching his hand reach out for hers.

"I hath become as thee, and thou as I; I have become the body, and thou the soul; thusly hereafter may none ever utter that 'I am someone and thou art someone else.' I, a stranger, hath into thy town cometh, landless a vagrant. For the sake of the heavens, pity this lone man; turn me not away from thy threshold." His voice was glorious...only a few shades above a whisper, but in all her time she'd never been moved like this by a man's words.

Never had she so badly wanted to believe them.

Under the apple blossom tree she came back to him, took his hand, and kissed him with fierce passion. The kind of kiss that happened once in a lifetime, or even in a Requiem...the kind of kiss that infused souls with hope against terrible odds.

Little did they know, it was the kiss that would mark the beginning of another bloody tragedy; for there can be no real affection for the Damned, and the ravening Moon-Beast is doomed to tear the world apart around them.