This Is Our Story Ch. 04

When he came back, Owen was still on their trial spread with the picture of Angelica. Only Conner could see he'd typed something - and there was a dialogue box that had popped up. "You better check this out, man."

Conner took his place, looking first at what his friend had typed. In a text box next to the picture, in the agreed-upon yearbook font type and size, were the words,I just can't get enough of Owen's schlong! The pop-up box, which his eyes scanned in the next instant, was an all-too-familiar error exclamation point. Only this one readError: Invalid quote Code 0040181.

"Real fucking mature, Owen. What the hell is this?"

"You tell me! I couldn't find a way to add her, so I was just fucking around and thought it'd be funny. But then this error message pops up. TIOS can be a little bitch, man."

Conner frowned. Its juvenile content aside, there was otherwise nothing intrinsically wrong with the quote. He hit OK on the error message and it disappeared, then inserted a quote himself. Rather than repeat Conner's quote, he typed inblah blah blah testing testing. He clicked to confirm, and there it was.Error: Invalid quote. Code 0040181.

"Why would it..." He thought for a moment, double-checked all the settings, made sure the alignment for the text box was perfect, this time just hit a bunch of keys -fo;ijkwhekjsdhjsd - and again.Error: Invalid quote. Code 0040181.

"What the hell is an invalid quote?" he muttered grouchily. Heck, at this point he wasn't even worried about the program's bizarre powers; he just wanted to be able to include a quote in a spread. He went back to the academic decathlon spread, and sure enough, the quote there was just fine. Conner deleted it, re-typed it, and there it was. No problem. So why...

"You know, Mrs. Reyes got really pissed at me when I made up a bunch of quotes on my research paper last month. Could that be...?"

"Right, because TIOS knows when the quote is made... up..." Mid-sentence, Conner reached the same bizarre hunch that Owen had.

Conner clicked to create a new quote. This time he typed,"That's nice." - Angelica Buck. Something she was sure to have said countless times. He clicked enter, and...

The quote remained.

TIOS could distinguish between real and fake quotes.

"OK, what thefuck is this thing?!" Owen said, standing and taking a few steps back.

"This... I don't know. I just... I don't know."

Then, suddenly, Owen bolted from the room.

"Dude - hey!" He blinked as his friend vanished down the hallway. He expected to hear the front door a moment later, but instead he heard feet thundering down the stairs. What could he be doing? He tried to listen, but other than a derisive-sounding laugh from Angelica, he heard nothing. Then feet on the stairs again, and then there was Owen in the doorway.

"Move over, man."

Conner hesitated only a moment before his curiosity bade him comply. Owen settled back in, and once more opened a quote box."I can't get enough of your cock, Owen. - Angelica Buck, he typed.

He hit Enter.

The text box remained.

"OK, what the hell did you just do down there?"

"Who me?" Owen grinned.

"Seriously, man. Spill it."

"Oh fine. I went down there and I told Angelica I was going to start a podcast - you know how she's always raving about this or that fucking podcast - and I needed a female co-host with a sexy voice. So I asked her to say, in her sexiest tone..."

Conner re-read the quote on his screen. "And she did it?"

Owen shrugged. "Sort of. I mean, she said it like..." He pinched his nostrils shut and did a nasal whine. "'I can't get enough of your cock, Owen.' And she laughed at me, and I laughed, and then I came back up here and BAM, there it is in black and white."

Conner shook at his friend. "You are such a child. You do realize that just because she said it doesn't make it true, right?"

"Well let's find out, shall we? Sitting here with your magic body-swapping program, and somehow you're so certain about what it does and doesn't do." He excused himself, and Conner waited. About thirty seconds later, he heard a shriek that at first he thought was Angelica's; only as he heard her shouting did he realize the sound had come from Owen.

"Now get the fuck out of this house and don't you fucking dare set foot in it again, you sick little pig! I mean it - get the FUCK out!" Conner winced. His stepsister had some pipes on her. From his bedroom window, he watched a clearly wounded Owen staggering down the driveway and across the street. One hand was clutching his groin; the other was held out in front of him as if to catch him in case he fell.

He threw up in his mom's hydrangeas.

"I do not want you hanging out with that freak any more, do you understand me?" Angelica was saying before she even reached his room. Conner pulled a lightning quick alt-tab just as she stormed into his room.

"Why, what on earth happened?"

"Fucking pervert pulled out his dick at me, and I kicked it right the fuck up into his pervert throat - that's what happened. Can you believe that pig! The nerve! And right after he came down asking... you know what? No. Fuck that. He is not allowed over here any more while I'm home from school. I so much as see his cowlick's shadow cross the front doorway and I'll tell your mother exactly what he did. You get me, Goner?"

"I get you, I get you!" he assured her. "And... for what it's worth, I'm sorry. I... I didn't think he'd do that."

She paused for a moment, and seemed the slightest bit mollified before she departed. Only when the door was shut - slammed, really - behind her did he return to TIOS. He studied those ridiculous words on the screen for a long moment, then shook his head and decided he'd screwed around enough for one day. He clicked the X in the corner to close it - when it surprised him yet again.

You have unsaved work on spreads (1). Do you wish to save? Conner wondered for a moment, and decided he was curious enough to want to have the option to explore more later. He clicked yes, and then popped up yet another window.

There are untagged references (1) in this file. Would you like to tag now? He shrugged and clicked Yes, not sure what to expect. To his surprise, a box opened up with the name Angelica Buck at the top. Beneath was a series of options: student, faculty, staff, administrator, other. After a moment, he clicked student. His mouse showed the computer was working, and when after a couple minutes it hadn't finished, he was about to force it to shut down when still another box appeared.

No student profile found under the name BUCK, ANGELICA. Is this an alternative name? Then it listed a teacher, a woman he was pretty sure worked in the lunchroom, and two students, all with vaguely similar names. Sophomore Archer Buchhold was the closest, and it was not that close at all. At the bottom, however, he saw he could select,This is a new student.

He checked that box, and hit Next.

New student added. Add default photo?

"No. Freaking. Way." Conner stared, then hastily brought up the class spread. There she was among the seniors, no picture shown, right between Vivian Bucello and John Burke. Angelica Buck. He clicked the blank space where her photo should be, and TIOS asked if he'd like to upload a picture. Since he had it handy, he went ahead and added the one he and Owen had been using earlier. (That is, after making sure it was really her and hadn't reverted to Sasha Quesada. It hadn't.)

Considerably puzzled, he finally closed the program. What had TIOS done this time?