This Really Sucks Pt. 01

Is it love or lust? This is the romantic tale of a young woman caught up in the world of COVID-19. It includes voyeurism, self-gratification and other explicit acts of sex.

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Chapter One

This Corona virus really sucks. I'm Felicity, although most of my friends call me Phil, which sometimes leads to some surprised looks. I've just turned twenty and I was in my second year of college studying Architecture. I'd rather be going to Art College, but my Dad said I had the grades, and it would be foolish not to get settled in a solid profession first. However, I had just met this really cool guy, Jason. I did not have any illusions he would be my one true love, but he has a great sense of humour, isn't clingy, and has a good uncomplicated attitude to our having regular sex.

For ten days at the end of February we thought with this new virus we would all have to stay on campus, which could work out OK. Then my parents who are both doctors insisted I should come home, and I have had to stay in virtual lockdown for over two weeks.

Now my parents are planning to send me to the country to stay with my Uncle Rob. I guess it's OK, but it's the way out in the sticks for fuck's sake. I haven't enjoyed going to the farm since I was eight, young enough to enjoy riding ponies and learning to milk cows with a bucket. It was mostly a beef cattle farm and they only had four or five dairy cows at a time.

Uncle Rob is my real uncle. He was married to my mum's twin sister, Jill. The last time I saw him I was fourteen. I had not been present at her funeral two years ago. I doubt he'd even remember me. And it's not like he was thrilled at the idea. I overheard a bit of the phone call and I guess my mum pretty much guilted him into agreeing. My Mum's certainly good at that.

I asked Mum what she expected me to do up there, and she said: "stay healthy". Ha, fucking ha!

She also pointed out I knew the syllabus; I had the books and now I would have plenty of time to focus. Yes, but what if the university got its act together and started sending me assignments. After all they were still talking about arranging a way to complete end-of-year examinations.

She said I had a pretty fancy-dancy laptop and your Uncle Rob has a very high-speed internet connection.

"What will I do for intellectual stimulation up there in the wilds?" I asked, knowing I was being a pig.

"It's not the wilds, although with this pandemic it might not make much difference. Rob might surprise you. He has had three or four books published. Anyway, you should be able to get out in the clean fresh air and you can always stream or download movies. Just don't get hooked on video games and ignore your studies."

I felt like that fucking eight-year-old again.

The farm isn't half bad. My Uncle Rob built the main house himself from logs felled right on the property. I thought it was bigger than I remembered. It used to be an L shape with a large open area that included a spacious sitting room, a kitchen, and an open dining area. I remembered thinking it was very grand. The only rooms in the main area that were closed were the bathroom and an office where my aunt did the accounts. The wing of the L comprised a corridor with the bathroom and two bedrooms off it. One for my aunt and uncle and the other for guests, like my Mum and me on that occasion.

Since then, he had extended the kitchen area to include a large island and snazzy six burner stove. He had added another wing turning the L into a U. Like the first one it contained two more bedrooms linked by a corridor, one with an adjoining bathroom. At the north end was a laundry and mud room and a stair to the only second-floor room, a studio with 360-degree view of the countryside. He built that for my aunt when she took up painting.

When we first arrived, he showed us around. My room was to be in the end of the original wing. It had a lovely queen-sized bed with a nice firm mattress and, nice surprise, he had added an extension, which, although it did not have a shower, had a wash basin and vanity and a separate loo. Pretty sweet!

When I finished unpacking and looked out, I realized the U surrounded a well-landscaped pool and patio area with what I guessed were a barbeque, a large firepit and a permanent table and benches, all made of stone. It looked as though you could easily seat a dozen people. However, right now they were pretty much buried in snow.

Uncle Rob had also changed. I didn't even recognize him when we drove up there. I remembered a big mountain man with a full beard, and always in plaid shirts, a hangover from his logging days. I guess he was in his early thirties then like my mum, but they all seemed old to me. Now the beard and the plaid shirt were both gone. He still wore jeans but with an open-necked pale blue shirt and leather lace-up shoes, at least when he met us.

After dinner, Mum and Rob did a lot of reminiscing about her sister. I just got acclimatized, but she was right about the speed of the internet. As we had not left home until after lunch, Mum stayed the night in the bedroom next to, but not as well appointed as, mine.

If I had trouble recognizing Rob, I really think he was expecting some gawky creature barely out of her teens, not a fully developed young woman of twenty. After Mum got on her way in the morning, we were a little awkward around one another as he showed me around the outside of the property. The barn, cowshed and stables and other outbuildings looked pretty much as I remembered, but there was less equipment around.

It turns out that after my Aunt Jill got sick, he sold off most of the property and all the beef cattle to his neighbour and just kept a few dairy cows and his favourite five horses, three mares, a stallion, and a gelding. The sale gave them plenty to invest and live off, and he also got an income from the sales of his books, five as it turns out.

Uncle Rob may no longer dress like a mountain-man, but he is still built big. At least six four with a lumberjack's chest and shoulders. I'm five eleven so I am comfortable with big men.

As I say things were a little awkward. His appearance was not the only thing that had changed, I remembered a big jovial man always smiling who threw me up in the air as though I were a feather; not that I wanted him throwing me in the air now. But now he was withdrawn, silent almost shy and frankly also more than a little scary.

When we came back in, I became aware of two things. First, Rob did not appear to own a television. Perhaps like me he was comfortable watching whatever he wanted in a computer. Secondly, he had replaced his old chesterfield with a modern four seat sectional. We ate our lunch mostly in silence punctuated by predictable conversation.

Him "What are you studying, Felicity?"

Me "Architecture with a minor in English Lit."

Him "Sounds good. I never went to college, always too busy."

And then more uncomfortable silences. I know he felt it as much as I did, probably more.

It turns out Rob never went to college, but is an auto-didact, someone who educated themself. He was self-conscious about this, although I found out he had read more widely than anyone I had met. I was to find out it was almost impossible to find a subject on which he did not have a surprising level of knowledge, including art and architecture.

He excused himself to go to his office after lunch. I brought my computer into the main living area and logged in to the latest news. Apparently, the WHO has declared the Corona virus a pandemic. Although the case count in Canada is low, cases in Europe are going crazy. The universities are all closing in class instruction, so it seems my parents were right. My school says it is working out its arrangements for online studies. It doesn't exactly inspire me to keep working right now, so I log on to Fortnite.

During what started as an almost equally awkward dinner Rob asked me more about my architectural studies. We got on to talking about art and painting. I was surprised to learn he had visited not only the Louvre and other galleries in Paris, but also many other famous European galleries including the Prado in Madrid and the Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam. Then I remembered that Aunt Jill had a keen interest in art.

However, it was clear that Rob shared her interest for he proved to have ready answers for all my questions.

When we had finished, I helped him clear the table and load the dishwasher. Later he persuaded me to put on my warm parka and boots and go out for a walk with him a little way away from the lights of the house. Tonight, the sky was clear and filled with stars.

"You don't see a sky like that in Toronto." He said, and I agreed. I liked the feeling of standing by this big man with the gentle deep gravelly voice. He made me feel more feminine somehow, petite almost, not a way I was used to feeling. We stood there looking at the heavens in silence. He asked me if I knew any of the constellations and I pointed out the North Star, Orion's belt and the Big Dipper, all part of The Big Bear. The only part of the sky I still found easy to recognize all these years after guides and brownies.

Rob pointed out, Gemini, Castor and Pollux, the Milky Way and Andromeda and Cassiopeia and asked if I recognized any planets.

I took a shot at Mars and pushed my luck trying Venus.

"That's the space station" he said, laughing. We stood for a minute or two more and then went back in silence.

"Thank you!" I said, as we were approaching the house. Then I noticed a separate building bout fifty yards away.

"What's that?" It wasn't either the barn or the cattle shed or anything he had shown me earlier.

"That's a sauna, we put it in after we visited Scandinavia. There's also a hot tub and showers. You are welcome to use them. You can turn them on from the main panel in the house. You just have to do it about half an hour in advance."

My uncle excused himself and gone back to his office after we returned. I read for an hour or so then I went to my bedroom. I left the curtains open and the light off, so I could look up at the amazing sky. I was not that tired. As I sat there looking out, I saw the light go on in Rob's bedroom. I could see him hanging up clothes and then going into what must be the adjoining bathroom. I looked back up at the sky for a few minutes, but the light from his bedroom interfered with the view.

When I looked back, there was my uncle standing naked in front of the full-length window. Not right in front of it, further back, but fully on view. He turned away before I could appreciate what I was seeing and now his back was towards me as he folded back the cover on his bed. Then he turned again and came back to the window, which he opened slightly before closing the blind. I was glad I had stepped back from the window because I found myself standing there staring at him, my uncle, buck naked and full frontal.

He was only the third or forth man I had actually ever seen naked, and he was on a whole different scale to the others. No wonder I could not stop staring like a fool. I hoped he had not seen me. It was only ten thirty, but I guess that's late for someone who'd been running a farm for most of his life.

He was probably used to getting up early so I decided I better go to bed too. I shut my curtains, washed my face, and brushed my teeth in the basin in my room and got undressed. I imagined Uncle Rob as I climbed into bed naked, but with a robe close at hand. I lay there and the image in my mind as I closed my eyes was not of the amazing sky but the naked body of my uncle. He's my uncle, but all I could think was "Boy, was he built!"

Chapter Two

I was surprised how long I had slept. It was a quarter to nine and there were smells of good food and coffee from the kitchen. I pulled on my pyjamas. They were red flannel not baby-dolls, so don't let your imagination run wild.

Uncle Rob said "Good Morning, Felicity. Don't expect a cooked breakfast every morning unless you cook it yourself."

"Thank you, Uncle." I said, "It looks and smells delicious."

"Just call me Rob. It's Sunday and I always like something cooked before church."

"Is the church open?" I asked.

"No, it's a virtual service you are welcome to join me."

"Thanks, I'll pass, we are really not churchgoers in my family."

"No problem! Enjoy your breakfast." He said, picking up his finished plate.

After breakfast I put on my parka and went out into a bright sunny morning. It was bitterly cold and before long I came in to get warm. I stripped the sheets from the bed where Mum had slept and took them to the laundry. While they went through a wash cycle, I sat down and read my book. When church was over Rob reappeared.

"Would you like to see some of Jill's paintings?" he asked.

"I'd love to" I replied, as it seemed the answer that would please him.

He took me up to the studio above his bedroom. It was very bright with sun shining in. He pointed to various framed paintings around the walls and I realized I had already seen some of her work in the rooms downstairs. He went over to a set of canvasses against one wall and pulled out two or three to show me. She really had quite a talent. He was selecting more when his phone rang.

"I have to take this in my office" he said and hurried downstairs. I was about to follow him but thought if he saw me it might look as though I wasn't interested, and I was honestly surprised at how good she was. I looked at a few more from the ones he had been going through. They were a mix of subjects and media: still life compositions, landscapes from various countries and some portraits of people I did not know.

I crossed to a stack in the corner and lifted the first one. It was a life drawing, the back view of a naked man, clearly my uncle. It was an instant reminder of my accidental voyeurism last night. I put it to one side and picked up the next one. My uncle again but this time a full-frontal pose with one foot on a low stool. His muscular frame was captured in perfect detail. My aunt clearly knew human anatomy both skeletal and muscular. I caught my breath as my eyes followed his pecs down past his pubic hair to his penis. It hung down thick and long. I breathed out as I felt my pulse quicken. This was not Michelangelo's David. Perhaps my aunt had wanted to flatter him I thought.

I quickly looked through a few more poses mostly from the rear or in profile with nothing on show until I came to another full-frontal, feet shoulder width apart and firmly planted on the ground. The tones seemed richer in this one. Blue veins were visible on his flexed biceps, his thighs, and the backs of his hands. His was the body of a man used to hard manual labour, not the body of a body builder. A thick blue vein ran down the centre of a powerful cock, that seemed almost three dimensional. The artist had clearly afforded it the same loving attention as other parts of his anatomy especially his hands and face. I felt the flush start in my face, spread to my throat and the top of my chest and other places further south. I have never been anything but repulsed by the brief glimpses of porn I have seen, but this was a definite turn-on. My body did not need my help to respond as I felt the warmth spread up my body from between my legs. I turned another one over. Surprise it was a different man, also nude.

I did not have time to study it. There were footsteps on the stair and I quickly tidied that stack and moved back to pull out the last one from the earlier stack. It was a painting of a bull moose in the act of mating, drawn with the same breathtaking realism I had witnessed a moment ago. Rob appeared in the doorway "I thought you must still be up here. What have you got there?"

I showed him.

"No wonder you look a little flushed" he chuckled. It was the first time since my arrival that I had seen him really smile. That broad grin reminded me of the fun-loving uncle I remembered.

"It is a little graphic" I said, "but impressively real."

"That was your aunt, Felicity. Realism was her forte. God bless her!"

"I'm sorry I didn't really know her... and please call me Phil, everyone does."

"It was one of her deep regrets that she would not get to see you all grown up. Given we never had kids it was so important to her."

I could see he was getting sad again, so I looked for a diversion and realized there was a landscape on the easel that was quite different in style.

"I guess she was experimenting with new techniques" I offered.

"No, no! That's mine" he said quickly.

It was bold and original, although in the way he captured diffuse light it reminded me of a Turner or one of the impressionists but using a palette of very bold colours.

"You are mostly using a knife" I said, "Unusual for a beginner".

"I started just using brushes but couldn't express what I wanted. I still use them and pens too when I need to."

He seemed nervous.

"I like it. Maybe I need some of your boldness myself. Could I also use the studio while I'm here?"

"Of course. I might need a day or two to tidy up."

"I don't want to stop you using it."

"No, we can share it. There are just some things I should put away. I'll do it this evening."

We went horse riding that afternoon. I enjoyed it, but despite having done my best to dress for the cold I was chilled to the bone.

"I think I need a hot bath" I said, as we looked after the horses.

"Good idea. You're welcome to use the sauna and hot tub. I'll switch them on now. The sauna heats up quite quickly, but the hot tub takes a bit longer."

"Thanks, I think I will."

As Rob headed to his office he said "When you're going, there are some mukluks in the mudroom that you can borrow. Better to let your boots dry out."

I went to my room and got on the computer to check my email. Nothing from Jason, I had not heard from him since we kissed goodbye before heading to our separate homes. There was some news from the university. It seemed they were trying to organize some form of online learning. In the meantime, there were several books and other online resources my prof recommended. I had been browsing these for almost an hour, when I took stock of how time was passing.

It was already starting to get dark. I needed to get to the sauna. I started to get undressed until I remembered I was about to take a walk in the snow. Everything went on again and I grabbed a towel and swimsuit. I put on the mukluks in the mudroom before heading out of the door.

I hadn't been inside the sauna building before. I was greeted by a wave of warm air when I opened the door. I found myself in a small changing area with a bench and lockers and hangers for clothes. I stripped off quickly and was about to put on my swimsuit when I thought what the hell? I much preferred being nude in a sauna and there were extra towels here, and I was all alone anyway. There were two doors. The door to the sauna was obvious

I ladled some water onto the coals and seated myself on the upper bench. It did not take long for the room to fill with steam. As my body warmed up, I undid the towel round my boobs and laid it beside me. I must have been relaxing for about fifteen minutes when I heard the outside door open.

"Anyone there?" called Rob.

"Just me." I called back.

"Oh, are you still here. I thought you would be finished. I can come back later."

"No, it's OK if you want to join me." I called back.

"Are you sure?"

"Of course!" I called. "It's your sauna' I thought, carefully rewrapping my boobs. I did not really care if he saw them, but he might find it weird.

A couple of minutes later he came in with a towel wrapped round his waist.

"Everything OK?" he asked, standing in the doorway.

"Peachy!" I said, and then thought where did that come from? Not exactly part of my usual vocabulary.