Three Square Meals Ch. 122

"Thank you," he said, giving the two hulking robots a grateful, if rather strained smile.

One of the automatons nodded to him with respect, its sorrowful face bobbing slightly. The other patted him on the shoulder as it passed, in a sincere gesture of solidarity.

John watched them leave, remembering the conversations he'd had with Faye about the increasingly lifelike mannerisms the robots had been displaying. Her evasive replies to his questions took on an entirely different light and he shook his head, wondering why she'd kept her tampering with the robots a secret. The obvious reason was that she didn't trust him and the crew not to react badly to her work, and with a sad sigh, he realised she would have had good reason to feel that way.

Feeling himself being pulled down by increasingly depressing thoughts, he walked quickly into the kitchen and was relieved to see that the maintenance bots had tidied it too. He began cooking dinner for the girls, needing the distraction of that familiar routine. Deciding to make some comfort food, he started preparing spaghetti and meatballs, with servings of garlic bread and salad to accompany the meal.

John felt better as he worked on the meat and sauces, and he soon had several pans simmering away on the stove. Being immersed in the kitchen helped banish his maudlin thoughts, clearing his mind and letting him plan for the debriefing ahead. They had a lot to discuss, much of which would come as a very unpleasant surprise, so he wanted to make sure he had everything straight in his mind.

Stirring a pan, he unblocked Alyssa from his mental fortress. *Hey, beautiful...* he said softly, knowing she'd wake up now that she could hear his thoughts.

*Hey, John...* she murmured a few seconds later, sounding groggy. *Where are you?*

*Just making dinner... it'll be ready in about half-an-hour.*

*You should have woken me, I'd have helped!*

*I know, honey, but you had a harrowing day... and I had a lot to think about.*

There was a long pause, then Alyssa said quietly, *John... I'm so sorry about Faye. You were closer to her than any of us.*

John stirred the tomato sauce, watching the spoon bursting bubbles as the saucepan simmered away merrily. *Alyssa... would you mind asking Dana and Irillith to join me please?*

*Of course, handsome...* she replied, her voice full of sympathy.

*Thank you.*

He busied himself with the spaghetti, tasting the pasta then adding a touch more salt. Turning to the worktop, he drew one of the long knives from the block, then began slicing the French bread without cutting completely through. He'd just finished mixing garlic with butter and spreading it in the slices when he heard the girls approaching, his sharp hearing picking up the sounds of their bare feet even through the door. After sliding the garlic bread into the oven, he washed his hands, then turned to smile at Dana and Irillith as they entered the kitchen.

"Hey, you two. I'm sorry if Alyssa woke you."

They were each wearing one of his white shirts and from their drawn expressions, he could tell they'd chosen them because they needed to feel close to him.

"I woke up about half-an-hour ago," Irillith said softly, toying with one of the buttons. "Bad dreams..."

"Me too..." Dana murmured, her eyes welling up as she looked away.

The redhead suddenly rushed over to him and flung herself into his open arms. He embraced her, then beckoned Irillith over, the Maliri gladly running to join him. John held them both and gently stroked their backs as they leaned into him for support.

"Shh... I'm here now," he murmured, feeling both girls trembling as he held them close. "I know how hard this hit both of you."

"John..." Dana whispered, her voice shaky. "I'm so sorry I yelled at you..."

"It's alright," he said, his tone sympathetic. "We'd all been through a hell of an ordeal... and I didn't really understand what I was asking you to do. I realise it must be frustrating having to explain things sometimes... it's just one of the downsides of making you so much smarter than me."

Dana cringed and shot Irillith a guilty look. "Shit... I never meant you to feel like that."

He pulled back a bit so he could look at their worried faces, then gently stroked their temples. "Don't worry, I'm not upset... it's just the simple truth. You were both very intelligent and gifted before we met, but I've enhanced you way beyond that now."

"John..." Irillith started to say, her expression pained.

He leaned down to give her a tender kiss. "Just give me a minute, beautiful; there's something I want to say to both of you." John took a deep breath and when he saw he had their full attention, he continued, "I didn't understand what I was asking you to do before... but I understand now. I refuse to give up on Faye... I want you to bring her back."

The two girls shot a troubled glance at each other, both thinking the exact same thing.

Dana's sky blue eyes were full of pain as she said plaintively, "John... we can't-"

"Yes... you can," he interrupted, his voice firm and uncompromising. "The hacking deck has Faye's personality, right? So all we're missing are her memories?"

The redhead slumped, looking dejected. "Exactly. Even if we can bring Faye back, she won't remember us..."

John shook his head. "You're looking at this all wrong. Just think about it for a second... we've still got all the files we need to restore Faye's personality! She might have amnesia when we rebuild her, but that just means we get to make friends with her all over again."

"But we can't recreate Faye's software," Irillith said sadly. "Her AI was created by Mael'nerak and he was a genius. His skills vastly overshadow mine."

He gave the Maliri a disapproving frown. "I refuse to believe that Mael'nerak was smarter than you. He might have had more knowledge, but given enough time, you can learn everything he knew. Besides, you've already got the files that make up Faye's mind, so you must be at least... half-way there already?"

Irillith gave him an indulgent smile. "It doesn't work quite like that, but I see your point."

Dana's eyes shone a bit brighter as hope was rekindled once more. "Shit... you're right! It'll suck that Faye doesn't remember us, but we can still bring her back!"

John nodded, looking at each of them in turn. "It might take us years, but we're going to live forever anyway. I know you girls can do this! No matter how long it takes, we're definitely going to see Faye again!"

The Maliri laughed and wiped at her eyes. "You're certainly in a glass-half-full mood this evening..." She stood on tiptoe to give him a loving kiss. "...and it seems to be infectious."

"Honestly, honey, I don't even think it'll take you years to rebuild Faye." He slowly unbuttoned Irillith's shirt and brushed his fingers across her blue stomach, drawing a quiet sigh from the Maliri. "If I keep loading you up and Alyssa pumps you full of energy, you'll be able to crack this in no time. You girls can do some amazing things when you're supercharged like that and if we have to keep you in that state for weeks or even months... that's fine by me."

Irillith's violet eyes widened. "You're really serious about this, aren't you?"

"I love Faye... and I want her back," he said decisively. "I'd stop at nothing to save the rest of you and Faye deserves nothing less."

"I really want to help too!" Dana gushed, looking excited now.

Irillith laughed and patted the redhead's stomach. "I bet you do!"

Dana shook her head. "No, not because of that! Faye was my friend; we've got to save her!"

"That's the spirit," John said approvingly, brushing his fingers through her auburn hair. "I think rebuilding Faye's software is mostly going to come down to Irillith, but out of all of us, you'll be able to help her the most."

"If we need more hardware, then I'll definitely need your assistance," Irillith said with a smile, putting her arm around the exuberant teenager.

"Totally! I'll help however I can!" Dana immediately agreed.

John enjoyed seeing their faces lighting up with hope and smiled with satisfaction. "I'm really glad you're both on board... you're our best shot at saving Faye."

The two girls gave him fierce hugs, with Irillith just as keyed up as Dana. "I won't let you down!" the Maliri promised him, her angular eyes sparkling in the light.

"I know, you're a good girl," he said with an affectionate smile. "Just tell me when you need some... assistance... and I'll do whatever I can to help you."

She licked her full lips so they looked moist and inviting, the excitement in her eyes turning to hunger.

John laughed and gave her a playful smack on the rump. "Not right now, it's nearly dinner time. Can you two set the table please?"

They nodded and left the kitchen with a spring in their step, carrying plates out to the dining table.

*Thank you, John,* Alyssa said softly, touched by how much effort he'd gone to in trying to ease their grief. *They were both in so much pain.*

John leaned against the counter. *There's always a chance they might actually be able to bring her back. They both need that sense of hope.*

Alyssa was quiet for a long moment. *If they can bring Faye back without her memories... what then? She's not going to remember any of us... or her relationship with you.*

*No... but I'll be able to treat her right this time,* he replied with regret. *If I'd trusted her from the start, maybe Faye wouldn't have felt like she had to hide what she was doing with the maintenance bots.*

***

Commander Tom Walker climbed out of the airlock in the side of his Claymore fighter and stretched his aching muscles. He'd just spent twelve hours in the cockpit and his body was protesting at having been seated in the same position for so long.

"Yo, Walker!" one of the gunship pilots called out, as he jogged past on the metal gantry. "JJ wants a word!"

He gave the other pilot a casual salute and a strained smile, doing his best to appear perfectly at ease. "Cheers, Eightball... I'll go see her now."

The other pilot gave him a thumbs up and continued on his way.

Tom walked along the wing and carefully slid off the end, nodding to the maintenance engineers who approached the gunship to refuel and rearm it. He knew those men, all of them regulars at the bar, but he wasn't in the mood to chat and deflected their attempts to start a light-hearted conversation. Fortunately, being summoned by the Flight Captain was a perfectly reasonable excuse to hurry away, allowing him to avoid the looks of concern all his friends had been giving him lately.

The Flight Deck was relatively quiet as he made his way up the metallic steps to the upper level, with the fighter wings on CAP duty already launched. Tom nodded to the other pilots from his wing, as they clambered up the gantry, politely declining the invitation to go for a drink with Anvil, Red Fox, Nooner, and Stony.

"Aw, c'mon!" Nooner said, nudging him with an elbow. "I might even tell you how I got my callsign..."

Red Fox laughed and shook her head, her scarlet pony tail bouncing around her shoulders. "We're trying to get him to come for a drink, not scare him away!"

"JJ asked to see me," Tom said, doing his best to look unhappy at not being able to join them. "Next time, alright guys?"

"Yeah, you said that last time," Anvil replied, the big man patting him on the shoulder with a weighty hand. "You did good today... you should come celebrate."

Tom ruefully shook his head. "I wish I could join you, but I really need to check in with the Captain."

Stony looked sceptical. "Right..."

The pilots all turned left to head for their quarters, but Tom continued straight ahead towards the Flight Captain's office. He rolled his eyes and smiled as he heard his wing-mates ribbing him about pretending to stand outside JJ's office until they were out of sight. Arriving at the door, he rapped his knuckle on the door and waited for a response.

The door slid open, revealing Captain Jennifer Jackson sitting behind her desk. "Hey, Walker. Come on in."

Tom entered the office and stood to attention opposite his commanding officer as the door closed behind him. "You wanted to see me, Captain?" he asked pensively.

The blonde leaned back in her chair and gave him a reassuring smile. "Relax, you're not in any trouble... take a seat. I've just been reviewing your performance evaluations and I must say... I'm really impressed. I see you've been flying with Nightlight's wing as well as Stony's... want to hear what they say about you?"

He nodded, relieved that she seemed pleased. "Yes ma'am, I'd like to know what they think."

Glancing to her right, she started to read from the Wing Commanders' reports. "Commander Thomas Walker shows excellent aptitude with the Claymore, responding well to instruction and making few, if any, mistakes. I am unsure if his piloting skills are due to natural ability, or the single-minded dedication he has shown towards his training. Either way, I would have no hesitation in requesting that Commander Walker be permanently assigned to my wing." She darted a brief smile at him, then continued reading the next report. "There is no way Walker is a rookie pilot."

"That's it?" Tom asked, unable to stop himself chuckling.

"Stony's turned being taciturn into an artform," Captain Jackson said wryly, turning to face him again. "I must admit, Walker... before you joined us, I had serious concerns about this plan of yours. The idea of retraining a Bridge officer as a combat pilot, just to give him an in-depth understanding of the strengths and limitations of fleet assets... it seemed like a ridiculous waste of time and effort. Only Admiral Morgan's recommendation and Captain Bexley's glowing performance evaluations convinced me to give this a shot."

"And I really appreciate the opportunity, Captain," Tom said gratefully.

She looked him in the eye. "Your old C.O. had a lot of great things to say about you, Walker. He reckoned that you were one of the most gifted and dedicated officers he'd ever served with, and I've seen firsthand just how committed you are to your training."

Tom nodded. "My time here has been invaluable already, Captain. I really think it's a worthwhile exercise for gaining a better oversight of combined fleet operations."

Jackson tapped a finger on her desk, her expression conflicted. "Bexley also talked a lot about your leadership qualities: your talent for encouraging teamwork, your outgoing and gregarious personality, the ease with which you gain the admiration and loyalty of the men serving under you..." Her expression softened as she continued, "But that's not the man sitting in front of me now. The guys have actually come up with a callsign for you... know what it is?"

Tom shook his head.

"They were going to call you Wraith," she said with genuine sympathy. "Because you look like you've had the life sucked out of you."

"Jesus..." he muttered, realising that he hadn't been fooling anyone.

"Don't worry, I vetoed it..." she said with a dismissive wave of her hand. "But anyone can see that there's something serious going on with you. Since you were transferred to my command, you've not had a single day's downtime and you're flying double shifts in the Claymores. You'll burn yourself out if you keep up this pace, so I'm ordering you to take tomorrow off and clear your head."

Slumping in his seat, Tom sighed. "Alright, Captain... understood."

She got up from her chair and leaned against the desk in front of him. "You're not in a command role at the moment, so this problem hasn't really affected your performance. If it had, we'd be having a very different conversation right now... but I do think you need to talk to someone about whatever's bothering you. I've been told that I'm a good listener... or if you're not comfortable speaking to me, I can book you in with one of the ship's counsellors?"

He shook his head. "Thanks, JJ... but I'll be okay."

Jackson didn't look convinced, but she shrugged amiably. "I'm not going to push; this is obviously personal." She looked him in the eye and said quietly, "Just remember... whatever's going on isn't the end of the world. With a bit of time, everything will get better, you'll see."

Tom was shocked to realise that she was concerned he might be suicidal. Trying to give her a reassuring smile, he said, "That's good advice, Captain... thank you."

She studied him for an awkwardly long moment. "Get some rest, Walker. Just let me know about the counsellor if you decide you want to talk to someone about it."

"Will do."

"Okay, that's all. You're dismissed," she said, patting him on the shoulder.

Tom saluted the Flight Captain, then left her office with his mind whirling. Jackson had been right, there was someone he needed to talk to... someone he'd been avoiding for the past week.

***

The girls began to arrive in the Officers' Lounge in pairs, having all been awoken by Alyssa now that dinner was ready. John greeted them with comforting hugs, many of which lingered for a while as they drew on him for support. Jade's sisters all arrived together and even they looked anxious, concerned about their grieving master and his mates.

When everyone had taken their seats, John stood by his chair at the head of the table and looked around at the girls. "Ladies... it's been a long, gruelling day and I know you must all be reeling from everything that's happened. We've got a lot of important things to discuss, but I think we should wait for the debrief until after dinner." Letting out a heavy sigh, he continued, "However, I would just like to say a few words about Faye..."

The atmosphere in the room was already subdued, the girls all painfully aware of their missing friend. Trying to put aside their grief, they gave John their undivided attention.

"The wonderful girl that we all knew and loved is gone..." he said, unable to keep the deep sadness from his voice. He glanced down the table at the Maliri hacker and gave her a taut smile. "But I've asked Irillith to start work on bringing Faye back."

There were startled looks at Irillith, with everyone unsure if that was even possible after hearing Dana's passionate outburst only a few hours earlier.

"To recreate Faye, I'll need to build an incredibly sophisticated and fully self-aware Artificial Intelligence," Irillith explained, suddenly looking daunted at the sheer scale of the work ahead of her. "It's a huge task and will probably take me years... but I owe it to Faye to try."

John nodded, walking around the table to place a hand on her shoulder and give the Maliri a supportive squeeze. "The data files containing Faye's memories were destroyed with her server. Even if Irillith can rebuild her, Faye won't remember any of us... or our time together. The important thing to keep in mind, is that we'll still remember her life with us. Faye will still be that same sweet girl we all grew so fond of... and when Irillith eventually brings her back, we can help her piece together what she's lost."

He returned to his place at the table and reached for his wine glass. "Faye might be gone for now, but she's not going to be gone forever." John raised his glass. "To Faye... until she returns to us, she'll live on in our hearts."

The girls echoed his toast and sipped from their glasses, ambivalent expressions on their faces as they thought about their fallen comrade.

Calara let out a forlorn sigh, then voiced their conflicted thoughts. "I don't know whether I should be heartbroken that Faye's gone, or relieved that we might have a way of bringing her back... even if that takes years."

John sat down and reached for her hand. "I think we all feel the same way, honey."

She interlaced her fingers with his and gave him a sad smile.