Three Women

Married life had begun so well. Raquel's wealthy parents sprang for a big wedding and it was a magical experience. Her family got along with mine, hosannas be raised on high, given how Type-A both fathers were. I liked her family. Other than the father, they were down-to-earth people, which was a miracle given that they came from a monied background. What a way to start married life! We danced, drank, were feted and pawed at by so many there. After all the ceremonial stuff: slicing the cake and feeding each other, the flower toss and the garter stripping, we escaped to change and spend a long weekend in Laguna Beach at the Ritz-Carlton there.

"Wow! We survived!" I told her when we got to our suite. "And the families didn't kill each other!"

"I am so glad that whole production is over and done," Raquel said as she took off her suit that she had worn in the getaway. Her heels had already been kicked off by the door and she was now parading around in a sexy bra and thong outfit. I stripped her and threw her on the bed, then ripped off my clothes and knelt between her golden-colored thighs. I kissed, licked, sucked and generally drove her crazy for the next fifteen minutes. We had had two years of practice to get the technique down perfectly for her. A happy woman often means a happy man as well. After multiple orgasms, she rolled on her side and pulled me up beside her, where we kissed and hugged.

Later, I said to her, "I'm so glad you majored in blowjobs in college," as she took turns either swallowing my cock or bathing it with her tongue. "Most weren't with me but you learned very, very well."

No words came from her, just more of the same, then she mounted me and plunged my cock into her. Every day I thanked the gods for this woman. As she turned around on me and rode me reverse cowboy, I wasn't jealous of those who had come before me, I was thankful she had learned so much.

And so began our married life. After the honeymoon, Raquel went to work in corporate America. OK, so what if her dad owned the company? It was a good job that was 8-5, unlike mine, which had rotating shifts. Such was the life of a nurse at a hospital.

Love conquers all, right? Right?

We found out that wasn't true. It took four years but our ship finally piled up on a reef. It wasn't infidelity, just differences in our perspectives of life, a host of little things and the fact we were both immature. We had lived very comfortable lives all the way through college, so married life in the real world came as a shock. My clothes ended up in the guest room closet because she needed the entire master closet for her clothes, a stash she added to regularly. Shopping was an adventure for her, not just a necessity. Living on a budget brought friction. Friction became differences that only grew in time until the rupture one night as I was looking at her credit card statement from a high-end department store.

"You can't this, Raquel! None of this fits in our budget." We had agreed to set aside a portion of our income for a house. That fund kept getting used to pay for unexpected bills. Words got more and more bitter on both sides. She was still spoiled by daddy and didn't know how to transition to a life with a nurse, not a tycoon. I had learned to talk in ways that didn't result in 'you did this or you did that' but I found a totally opposite point of view in her. She only talked in 'you's', as in 'you are always making a big deal out of my spending' and five hundred more phrases like that. It went on and on until we agreed to divorce.

It was a largely calm split, the big issue being her personal holdings. She had a trust fund she would receive when she turned thirty. Her family attorney had gone nuts over it and all I could say was 'it's hers. Leave it at that'. We split our savings, such as they were after being depleted by her bills, and I ended up with the townhouse while she moved into a high-end, high-rise condo. I adopted a dog which I named Watson, a handsome mixed-breed Lab with long fur and ears. Watson became my best friend. The women who came and went in my bed had to understand Watson came before them in the pecking order. A couple of them got it and they lasted longer, far longer than the others.

I heard through friends that Raquel was dating another man, one who probably was more of her social status. I wished her well. I had told her on the last day of our marriage that I only wished her the best. We had met at the beach that day and walked along the shore as we had done many times before. I was determined to make it upbeat and positive. I think I succeeded as she hugged and kissed me for the last time, then walked to her car and drove away.

Watson and I moved East, 3,000 miles East to be clear. I found I hated it there and I told Raquel that when she called from time to time. I didn't ask about her love life and she did the same. We celebrated good times and commiserated over negative things. Everybody said the East was old and quaint. To me it was old and crowded. The job change had brought me a supervisory position which later morphed into a management position. I was making good money but it just didn't seem me. Time passed slowly until a recruiter told me I had multiple possible positions elsewhere to consider any time I wanted. I usually didn't listen to these opportunities but this guy was persistent. After months of phone calls, I gave in and interviewed for two positions, one in the Midwest and one in Northern California. Both offered me a position. I chose the West Coast job in a minute.

Watson and I moved yet again, back West, just hundreds of miles north of our previous home in CA. I settled in. CA fit me like a snug glove. I loved the weather, the sights and sounds, the multitude of places to go. This was before the pandemic, before the city streets were obstacle courses as I threaded my way through the homeless camped on the sidewalks, before the city I loved was overrun with tech bros, almost all white and all making way too much money. The city was just wrenched apart as the working class, even the middle class, was priced out of the housing market.

Raquel had gone quiet. I didn't hear from her. I texted her from time to time but got nothing in return. I finally called her. When she answered, it was like falling into heaven. I loved the sound of her voice. It reminded me of so many good times.

She told me she had re-married. "Tim's a good one. You would like him," she told me. "We met through friends, dated for a while, then I moved in with him. Finally, I married him after living with him. Mom was mortified of her daughter living in sin but she got over it when we married. It's been good. I learned a lot from our divorce and am making an effort to be a better partner in marriage."

"I'm so happy that you are happy. If anyone deserves it, it's you," We talked on for a while. When I ended the call I was happy for her. A lot of years had gone by. I didn't grow any older, but Watson was getting old. I dreaded the day I had to put him down.

I met and lived with a lovely woman for a while. It was good until it wasn't. Stacey and I didn't fight. We just couldn't agree to disagree. She wanted it her way. I told her I got it but I wasn't the right guy for her if that were true.

Watson finally died of old age. I was heartbroken. In time, I searched for a replacement. Just nothing clicked. I was looking for another black lab, but necessarily not a puppy. I was too busy to train a puppy as well as giving him (yeah, I wanted another male) the time he deserved. I searched from time to time. I wasn't obsessed but I had to scratch that itch. I read online about a dog at a local shelter. He had been given up at two years because he was always getting into trouble. I went there to meet him. I found a black lab mix that was a bright-eyed, fun-loving guy. I took him out for a walk on their grounds and we played catch. The shelter director came out to meet me and said he was too smart for his own good. He had figured out the latch on his cage the first day and escaped, leading them on a merry chase. They wired the latch shut now to thwart him. I adopted him and renamed him Trouble. It just seemed to fit. He would be my new soulmate.

It looked more and more likely that I would be single. I liked things my way, I guess. I had a good group of friends, almost all of them singles, both male and female. We did things together, be it two of us or more. I was content. Trouble and I went from Lake Tahoe in the east to the Oregon coast in the west. He chased gulls, I threw him sticks and he would go swimming to retrieve them. It was comfortable, if a little quiet.

As time passed. I went back to school for an MBA and moved into a senior management position in healthcare. The job, good friends and Trouble seemed my life.

Until it wasn't.

Raquel called me, distraught. "Tim's gone, Sean. He was broadsided by a drunk driver. Can you come down for a while?"

I told my boss about a death in the family and she told me to take the time I needed. "You've been there for the company. The company needs to be there for you."

I flew south and took an Uber to the address she had given me. It was a gorgeous home, one we would have aspired to so many years ago. The whole family was there already. I got hugs from all, even her mother, who was still looking good. The kids had come from good genes. Raquel came out of a another room and hugged me for the longest time.

"I hurt so profoundly bad for you," I told her. She took my hand and led me to a couch in the living room.

"It had been so good. Now I don't know what I'll do," she said as her brother shooed everybody out of the room and gave us space to talk. "He had been on his way home from the airport. When he had left I only gave him a rushed kiss because we were both running late. Now I'll never be able to tell him I love him again." She cried some more, I'm sure it was not the last bout of crying that would take place.

"If this is uncomfortable for you, I understand, but I just wanted you here with me. You and my family are the glue in my life. I thank you for coming."

Three days later, we met at a funeral home and his mom pushed the button that took his body into the crematorium. We all cried. I had never known him or talked with him but it was clear he had had an effect on the family. Afterward, we had one last meal together, then everyone scattered to their homes. I got another hug from all before we left. Raquel came up to me and asked me to ride with her to her house. My bag was there from when I had checked out at the inn where I had stayed and returned to their home before everyone went to the funeral home. The ride was quiet. If there was something she wanted to say, she would say it in time. At the house, it was just the two of us. We sat in the living room, sitting on the same couch but turned so we could see each other as we talked.

"Thank you so much for coming, Sean. It just felt right to have you here and I appreciated everything you did for me. Everyone told me it was good to see you, though not under these circumstances. When do you leave?"

"My flight is in five hours. Forty minutes or so for the Uber there, then getting through the Security checkpoint will just take forever, I'm sure."

She moved over next to me and I hugged her. She sobbed into my shoulder. I just held her until she finally stopped. Then it was time to go, my Uber had said he was close.

"Call me, any time of day or night, Raquel. If you want me to come here again, just say so. I'll be here for you."

"Bye, Sean." Raquel leaned in for another hug and then kissed me on the cheek.

We talked daily, if not multiple times a day.

"I've got to move. This place just reminds me of Tim, no matter where I turn." On a later day she told me, "I went through his clothes today. If I hadn't had help, I would never have gotten through it. But they're gone. Now the closet looks empty and I cry about that."

Over time, I made two trips south to see her. She offered me a room in her house but I stayed elsewhere. It just didn't feel right at the moment. I took her places, places where we had been in a previous life. We walked the beach, I told her about Trouble and that made her laugh for the first time.

"When I got home from the funeral and picked him up from my friend's house, he walked around, sniffing here and there, then came over and peed on my leg." That brought happy tears to her face.

"I've got to meet this guy someday. I've never known either one of your dogs. He certainly sounds like a character."

Over time, we settled into a routine of talking multiple times a week. She told me about what was going on in her life and how she was faring being a widow. She had put the house on the market and downsized. "It was far more house than what I needed or wanted. The big house just doesn't seem all that important anymore. It's a smaller place but closer to the water. I can go to the beach and walk any nice day and I try to go a couple of times a week."

"Good for you. I took Trouble for a walk yesterday and let him off leash. When I next saw him, he was rolling on his back in the grass. When I got up to him, I could see he was rolling in geese shit. I sure must love that dog to allow him in the car with me on the ride home."

Raquel shrieked at that. "Oh My God! How do you even get it out of his fur."

"I used tomato juice, then scrubbed him down twice. He finally smells like a dog, not an outhouse."

It was a comfortable time. We kept in touch and it seemed she had turned the corner on her grief and mourning. She had told me she had found a grief counselor and that she had helped.

Six months had passed before she told me, "I went on a date tonight."

"Whoa! Big news! Who was the lucky guy?"

"A friend of a friend. It was nice to get out and he was funny, so the time went by quickly. It was a little awkward at the door. We kissed a couple of times, then he French kissed me. It was awkward -- so many conflicting feelings. I'm standing here in my panties and heels having complete remorse. I feel bad. I feel terrible. I don't know what I want. I felt wanted, even needed when he kissed me. It was hot, I felt hot and a middle-aged woman shouldn't feel that way, but I liked it. Part of me wants to go out and sleep with him, just to feel that again. The other part of me is appalled at my actions. What should I do?"

"Brush your teeth, wash your face, take off the panties and heels and go to bed. You've got plenty of time to think about this tomorrow."

The next morning she called me again. "I'm lying in bed nude. I haven't done this since I was married to you."

"Well, send me a selfie."

Less than a minute later, my phone dinged with a text. I got a picture of her face with the covers up to her neck. She wrote with the photo, "You didn't specify how much you wanted to see. You always told me not to assume. Now the shoe's on the other foot."

I laughed. For better or worse she was alive again.

"I still can't believe I've acted in this way. Oh, so many feelings!"

"Just let it simmer for a while. Now, I've got to get in the shower and get ready for work." With that, I was up and out. She called me twice that night, feverishly alternating on what to do.

"Tell him you want a week to think it over. Don't go out this Saturday. You can always text him next week and say no, or say yes if that's what you decide."

She called me again. "I just texted him and told him I was taking a week off."

"You're a grown woman who is entitled to feel like a woman, not just a widow. You've got a lot of years to live. Live them."

She called me the following Sunday afternoon. "I went out with him and invited him in. I feel like a new woman."

With that, she embarked on an active dating life. She would call me and tell me what had transpired, with more detail than I think I wanted. I listened a lot and said little. This went on for months, until she called me one day, crying. "I feel so stupid. I've feel I like I've gone off the deep end. I'm sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry for, Raquel. You just did what you wanted to do at the time. No harm, no foul."

"You always know what to say."

Still more months passed where she didn't date at all. She said, "I don't want to," when I asked why she stopped dating. "I want something more."

I invited her up for a weekend. I had a small house for Trouble and me. There was a big back yard for him and it was within walking distance of a coffee shop, so Trouble and I got in our walks.

She came in, looking around as I put her bag in the guest room. "You've got some cool stuff, Sean."

"Your bag is in the guest room. make yourself at home."

I made some tea which I knew she liked and we settled into a pleasant conversation, then I took her to dinner. After dinner we went for a walk by the yacht harbor with Trouble, who was on his best behavior after his last adventure with the geese shit. Then it time to get ready for bed. I kissed her goodnight and got ready for bed. A hour later, Raquel came in and stood by the bed.

"Can I sleep with you? I'd really like that."

"I'm nude, if that bothers you. Otherwise, hop in."

She shrugged off her robe and and was naked underneath. She was still stunning, standing there in the moonlight. The years had been kind to her. Those genes were still working fine. She slipped under the covers, turned her back and spooned with me.

"This is nice. I'm so glad you invited me."

We talked softly to each other until we both fell asleep. I awoke to an empty bed but also the smell of freshly brewed coffee. I got my robe and walked to the kitchen after I let Trouble into the backyard. Raquel stood with her back to me. I was transported back so many years to when this was a common event.

"Good morning."

She jumped, having been deep in thought.

"I didn't hear you come in. I was thinking about how normal this seems." She laughed as she watched Trouble chase squirrels in the backyard. "He's a hand full."

"He's my comic relief. Until I figured out how he was getting out of the backyard and fixed the gate, he was getting out and would sit on the front porch and defend his territory. The postal person was terrified and stopped delivering. I had to go to the post office and get it. The animal control person came by one Saturday while I was home, knocked on the door and told me after I opened it that she would drive by every day and see him."

"I won't pick him up unless he goes off your property," she said. "But I have to tell you the squirrels are gone. There's no squirrels left near you. He's scared them away."

I took her into the back yard and showed how I had modified the gate area multiple times and said, "It takes him a day to figure a new way out. He's very determined."

I told Raquel the story as we were sitting in the sun on the back deck, drinking coffee. She laughed, "he's something else." Later, she said to me, "I miss Tim, as I have also missed you."

"Tell me what you liked about him."

"He was a good man, good husband, good lover and good friend."

"That's a great combination."

"You don't really know what you had until you lose it. I still flog myself for that last rushed kiss before he left. I want just one more kiss, one last time in his arms."

With that, she started crying and I moved over to comfort her. We sat there side by side for a long while until she stopped crying.

That night she slept with me again, disrobing and walking naked to the bed, then looking at me as I stood there with my jaw dropping. "Are you just going to stand there or are you going to get naked and get in here to warm me up? On Sunday morning, I awoke to the smell of fresh coffee again. I walked out in my robe to find Raquel standing there sipping from a cup while still nude. "Since I've been alone, I walk around in the house naked a lot. I've flashed my neighbors more than once as I go to stand at the sliding glass door and he's out there gardening. I haven't done it yet, but I bought a tiny pair of shorts and a midriff top to wear outside. That should set him free."