Through Thin Walls

Eventually, my awareness returned to the room, the bed, and the amazing woman in my arms. Ashley felt limp atop me; hot, sweaty, and spent. My arms automatically wrapped around her, holding her close, wanting her to feel safe. Maybe, in my confusion, wanting to feel safe myself.

In all my dreams of bringing her true pleasure, I never suspected anything this intense was possible. To find out she had such depth to her sexuality astonished me. She lived every minute of her life thinking of other people and their needs, always putting them above her own. Even our sexual relationship was defined by this. I knew she liked sex, but I also knew it was mostly seeing my enjoyment that she really liked. She never seemed to think about sex beyond that.

What we just experienced was completely different. I felt like I'd seen her truly naked for the first time. All her love and care for others had been peeled away, finally revealing the sexual being at her core. I adored Ashley with my whole heart. Seeing this part of her, this private, secret place where lived the raw hunger she'd never acknowledged, made her even more precious to me.

Underlying all this, though, was the realization that it had only happened because of what we'd been hearing through the walls. Had I failed her yet again, only serving as a stand-in for what she truly desired?

"I love you," I said softly near her ear. I meant it, but I was ashamed to realize I'd also said it hoping to hear her say it back to me. I felt Ashley tense, but she remained silent. Then she sat up and climbed off me, hurrying to the bathroom.

Her abrupt departure made me realize I was lying in a wet spot on the bed, so I quickly changed the sheets. Ashley didn't say anything when she emerged from the bathroom, and in the dark I couldn't see her expression. I squeezed her shoulder gently as we passed, then took my turn in the bathroom. When I returned to bed, she was on her side facing away from me, maybe already asleep. I carefully crawled in and snuggled up behind her, taking comfort from her warmth.

* * * * * * *

The fatigue in my body should have carried me off to sleep easily, but it didn't. I felt unsettled. Eventually I thought maybe I was thirsty. Ashley still seemed asleep, so I carefully climbed out of bed, pulled on pants and a shirt, and crept to the kitchen for some water.

Stepping out of the hall, I yelped in alarm when I bumped into someone in the dark. From the burst of giggles, I knew it was Mal. I felt my chest tighten. It was only a few minutes ago that I'd cum while hearing Mal's orgasm through the wall, and I wasn't prepared to face her yet. Would this upend our whole friendship?

"You couldn't sleep either?" she asked once she stopped laughing.

She turned on the kitchen light and at the sight of her familiar eyes dancing with amusement, my fears faded. Even with my treacherous brain superimposing the imagined sight of her naked body in the throes of ecstasy, mostly all I felt was grateful to see a friend.

"Come on, Ben," Mal said, "Let's go admire the night sky these mountains are famous for."

I got a quick drink of water and then we bundled up in warm coats and hats. I couldn't help stealing more glances at her, probing to confirm I really was unaffected by what I'd heard through the wall. No matter which lewd perspective my mind considered her from, I still felt safe that nothing had changed between us. Probably. Maybe.

Mal led the way out onto the wide deck overlooking the forested valley. In the middle was a large table surrounded by a dozen chairs.

"This table looks pretty sturdy, yeah?" Mal asked, but she didn't wait for me to answer before climbing up. She lay down on her back, her head pointed away from the house. "It works! Come on, Ben, this is perfect. Get beside me."

I shrugged and did as she said. Mal had a knack for making anything into an adventure. When I was beside her on the table looking up at the stars, I realized what she had found.

"It's perfect, isn't it?" she said. "When I look straight up, I can't see anything except stars in my whole field of vision."

"I feel like I could be floating in space," I said. "I almost feel dizzy."

The night sky was stunning. Being up here in the mountains, away from the city lights, revealed the majesty of the night sky I usually ignored. Without anything in my vision for scale, sometimes I felt tiny in comparison to the stars, and a moment later I'd feel like I was big enough to scoop them all up in my hands. It was disorienting, but I couldn't look away.

"Ben," Mal said. "How much do you love Ashley?"

The question caught me off guard. "A lot," I said, and immediately regretted how inadequate it sounded. "More than a lot," I said, struggling to find the words. "She's everything to me."

"She feels the same way about you," Mal said.

Filled with doubts, I could only manage a grunt.

I felt Mal roll over to look at me. "Don't doubt that. Ever. No matter what you might... hear."

I was relieved that Mal acknowledged it, if indirectly. I don't know why I then blurted out my fear of being replaced by Dante in Ashley's heart. For years, I'd relied on Mal to untangle worries. Maybe it was just an old habit. But I'd hardly got the sentence out before she interrupted me with mocking laugher.

"Ben, you are so fucking stupid," she said in a tone that communicated both contempt and affection. "Is that what you think happened?"

I wasn't sure what to say and made a pathetic half-shrug.

"Hell if I know why," Mal continued, "But Ashley adores you. Just because she got horny thinking about Dante changes nothing. Are you saying you don't trust her?"

I hadn't thought of it that way. "No," I mumbled, "I didn't mean..."

Sternly, Mal said, "Don't you ever doubt her."

"I don't!" I said, feeling chagrined. "I won't."

"Good!" she said brightly, all harshness gone from her voice. She sat up and climbed off the table. "Well, good night!" she said, sounding pleased with herself.

Still flustered, I didn't manage to respond before she closed the door, leaving me in the cold night air. I dropped my head back on the table. All I could see were stars, and I felt small.

Thinking wasn't getting me anywhere, and I wasn't getting any warmer either. I too went back inside, quietly returning to our bedroom and snuggling up behind Ashley. In her sleep, she pushed her warm bottom against me. I breathed in the comforting scent of her hair and fell asleep before my worries could return, though my dreams weren't safe from confused and unsettling images.

* * * * * * *

My hips were between Ashley's legs, pushing, but I didn't feel anything.

"Is it in, yet?" Ashley asked.

We both looked down at my crotch to see my penis was shrunken, a tiny little nub like I was looking at it through a backwards telescope.

"It's too small," I said, my voice strangely neutral at this development.

"It's just as well," Ashley said calmly. "It didn't do anything for me, anyway."

I nodded in agreement, the truth of her statement obvious.

Mal was there. "If you love Ashley, you'll give her what she wants."

"I love her," I said.

"Then give her this," Mal said, holding something out. I reached to take it and found Dante's hard cock in my hand. Startled, I looked up at him.

"Sorry," I said. But my hand wouldn't release him.

"It's okay, man," Dante said calmly. "No big deal."

"No big deal," Mal said.

"No big deal," Ashley echoed.

Dante's thick shaft felt heavy in my hand. It was clear what I should do. Ashley spread her legs apart, her pussy glistening with arousal. Everyone's eyes were locked on Dante's cock as I guided it.

The second I put his swollen head to Ashley's wet opening, I felt a touch on my own dick. Mal was carefully caressing its tiny shaft between her thumb and forefinger. It seemed wrong to have her touching me like this. Her arms were wrapped around me and I felt secure in her embrace, but it was still awkward.

I watched Dante's cock push into Ashley. She gasped and I saw my own little dick grow slightly. He thrust into my wife again. Ashley moaned in happiness, and my dick grew a little more. Each happy noise from Ashley made my dick get bigger, like Dante's thrusts were a pump inflating my little penis. Mal held me as it approached normal size, encouraging me, though I barely felt her touch.

"You're doing it!" Mal exclaimed.

Dante was thrusting hard into Ashley now, and she was loving it. My cock grew past normal size with each joyful cry from Ashley. It was enormous now, impossibly large and hard. Mal was no longer stroking it, simply holding it pointed at Ashley.

Watching the joy in Ashley's face grow, I realized I was about to cum. Mal kept my comically large cock pointed at Ashley's face, but I knew she wouldn't want that. I tried to warn her, to aim elsewhere, but I couldn't speak or move. Helplessly, I watched Ashley's face in fascination as her arousal built higher and higher.

Ashley grabbed her own breasts and then cried out as overwhelming pleasure pulsed through her. I felt my own orgasm start at the same moment and knew with certainty I was going to ejaculate all over Ashley, whether I wanted to or not.

* * * * * * *

I woke up just as I felt wet warmth surge out of me, my heart pounding with confused excitement. The light of early dawn showed through the curtains. I threw back the sheets and pulled down my underwear, relieved to see my penis looking normal and the mess relatively contained. Ashley wasn't there.

Showering made me feel better. I couldn't put the stupid dream out of my mind. The look of orgasmic bliss on Ashley's face was foggy in my memory, but the feelings it aroused in me were still sharp and raw. I got hard again in the shower remembering how overwhelmed she was as Dante plowed into her. Part of my mind was screaming about how awkward the dream was. I knew I should feel weird about those images, but they didn't seem like they mattered. No big deal. All I could think about was what I had witnessed Ashley experience, both in reality and in my dream. What was wrong with me? Turning the water to cold helped me regain control.

I dressed slowly, uneasy about what awaited me. Why wouldn't Ashley talk to me last night? Had I done something wrong?

Walking toward the kitchen, I passed the large window in the front of the house that revealed the majestic valley of evergreen trees punctuated by mounds of weathered granite. Mal and Dante were outside, bundled up for a morning walk in the cool autumn air, their backs to me as they held hands and admired the view.

As I watched, they turned and gazed into each other's eyes before kissing sweetly and walking off into the trees. Of course, my brain ruined the moment by remembering what I'd heard through the wall and imagining Dante's bearded face between Mal's thighs.

"They really love each other," Ashley said.

Startled, I turned to see her sitting low on the sofa that faced the window. She was wrapped in a giant bathrobe and her hair was a mess. Taking a breath to purge the unwanted image from my mind, I sat beside her with my arm around her shoulders.

"So do we," I said and kissed the side of her head. Feeling the warmth of her body soothed my worries, but then she turned to me and I saw her eyes were red. I looked at her, waiting for an explanation, but none came.

"Ashley," I said. "What's wrong?"

She looked down at her hands. "Mal said you wouldn't hate me."

"I don't hate you!" I said. "What are you talking about? I could never hate you."

Her mouth opened as if to speak, then closed again. She looked back down, and then confessed what I already knew, or had guessed at. She told me she had been so turned on last night because she was thinking about Dante. She even shared all the explicit details from her fantasy. I think it eased her conscience to get it all out, to come clean.

I won't lie; at first, her guilt made me feel better. After all, she finally got out-of-control horny, and it was for another man. I couldn't bear to be replaced in her heart. As she kept talking, though, I realized two things. First, I'd never really believed that Dante could replace me in her heart. Having her beg forgiveness for an injury I hadn't felt didn't seem right. Second, she was now suppressing the sexual being who had been released the night before. Losing that part of her so soon after learning it existed was too much for me to bear. I wanted all of Ashley, to know every wonderful hidden part of her.

So that's how I found myself trying to convince my wife to fantasize about another man. Maybe it would have been more difficult if it was a man I hated, or felt threatened by, or who didn't care for Ashley so much. But this was Dante we were talking about, a friend as true as they come. That said, I may have gone too far trying to make my point. Ashley looked shocked, and I couldn't tell if she was angry. My mind filled with bad ways she could take this. To her credit, she trusted me enough to believe me.

"You really mean that, don't you?" Ashley said.

I shrugged. "I think so? I've been going over it constantly since last night, and I keep coming back to how happy it made me to see you..."

"What?" Ashley asked.

I smiled. "Wildly, recklessly horny and in absolute ecstasy."

Ashley returned my smile. The look in her eyes had softened. "I was a little out of control."

"Tell the truth," I said. "Now that we can discard your ridiculous feelings of guilt, would you say that last night was perhaps the best sex we've ever had?"

Ashley chuckled. "Possibly," she admitted, scooting over to lean against me.

For a few minutes we sat looking out at the morning light filling the wooded valley. I felt relieved to have Ashley back beside me. I was still unsure about many things, but Ashley's hand in mine made everything okay.

"So," Ashley said, a mischievous note in her voice, "We've talked a lot about my reaction to what we heard through the walls. What about you? Did it make you... horny, too? Were you also thinking about how sexy Dante is?"

I laughed. "I try to be open-minded," I said.

"What about Mal?" Ashley asked. In spite of the dangerous implications of such a question from one's wife, I didn't sense a threat. No matter what I answered, it would be okay. I went with the truth.

"I don't know," I said. "Not really? It mostly just felt... weird."

"It would make me feel a little better if I wasn't the only one having dirty thoughts," Ashley said.

I laughed again. "All I have are dirty thoughts about you!"

Just then, we saw Mal and Dante returning up the long driveway. Ashley sat up, acting shy as she tucked her hair behind an ear. "I think I'm going to shower."

"That won't stop my dirty thoughts at all," I said.

"Good," she said, leaning in to kiss me again. It was such an earnest kiss that it was only when she hurried off to the bedroom that I realized she'd had her hand on the crotch of my pants. I hurriedly rearranged things to hide my erection before Mal and Dante opened the door.

Mal was all smiles. "Look who finally got out of bed!" she said. "Did you have a big night or something?"

"I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about," I said.

"Dante knows what I'm talking about," Mal said, but he was already in the hall and pretending not to hear, disappearing without saying a word.

Mal dropped beside me on the couch, much closer than she'd normally sit.

"Well?" she said, her voice lower. "How did it go?"

"How did what go?" I said, unsure what Mal knew.

Her eyes narrowed. "Don't bullshit me, Benjamin. Ashley was crying on my shoulder all morning while you had your beauty sleep. She was wracked with guilt that the best sex she ever had was while overhearing Dante fuck me. How did it go when you talked with her?"

I instinctively held my hands up in surrender. "It went well. I don't think she's beating herself up any more."

Mal's expression softened. She stared at me a bit longer, but seemed satisfied. "Good. I'm glad." She gave my knee a squeeze and smiled at me. "I'm still working on Dante, but I think I can get him there." Then she stood up and followed Dante to their bedroom.

I was unsure what to make of this. Get him where? Confused, I got busy making the omelets I'd promised the night before. Soon, we were all eating and talking about the plans for the day. Everyone was acting normally, but I still felt uneasy.

* * * * * * *

We had tickets for a ride on the local historic mountain railroad, so after breakfast we had to hurry off before I had a chance to talk with Mal again. The train itself was pretty hokey, but we all admired the scenery through the window. At one point I caught Ashley staring at Dante in a strange way, absently biting her lower lip. She saw me notice, but didn't seem embarrassed. She just smiled slyly at me and squeezed my hand tighter. I couldn't help but think about what we'd overheard last night. Was Ashley thinking about that, too? What was going on?

The halfway point for the train was a stop for an hour at a quaint town hosting the last day of their harvest festival. The decorations were still up, but it wasn't too crowded. The enticing scents of baked treats and fall spices filled the air. Mal had her arm linked through mine as we walked out of the train station.

"Ashley," Mal said. "Do you mind if I borrow your husband for a bit?"

"He's all yours," Ashley said without hesitation. Her eyes were on Dante, but she flashed me a quick smile.

"Thanks," Mal continued. "I need to remind myself what it's like to hang out with an insufferable dork."

"Hey!" I said. "Ashley tells me that I'm often moderately sufferable."

"Oh, excuse me, Mr. Moderately Sufferable," Mal said with a laugh. Turning to Dante, she said, "Dante, you just stick with Ashley. I know this town looks intimidating, but it's not actually that big."

Dante hung his head in mock shame. "I only got lost that one time at the state fair!"

"Don't forget the time at the botanical gardens," Mal said. "Or the library."

"I wasn't lost exactly," Dante said. "I was just... exploring."

"Then stick with Ashley while you 'explore,'" Mal said with a laugh as she pulled me down a side street. She walked quickly without looking back until we turned a corner. After that, she slowed down and seemed to relax. We stumbled upon a small park, empty of people. Mal sat us on a bench, still holding me by the arm, and let out a satisfied sigh.

"Aren't they adorable?" Mal said.

"Who?" I asked.

Mal rolled her eyes. "Ashley and Dante!" she said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. She gently leaned on me, holding my arm against her body. This was far more than she usually touched me. It wasn't bad, but it made me feel even more unsettled. "You know," she continued, "I'm impressed by how cool you're being about all this. I don't mean I expected less of you, exactly, but sometimes you can be a real tight ass."

I still felt confused, but now I really didn't want to admit it. Mal is one of those people you just don't want to disappoint. Afraid that anything I said would give myself away, I made a soft chuckle in the hope it would sound self-deprecating.

We sat there in silence for a while, letting the sun warm our backs in the cool autumn air and watching people walk by holding steaming cups of cider or munching spiced bakery treats. After a while, Mal's calm confidence overcame the confusion in my heart. I relaxed a bit.

"School doesn't feel that long ago," Mal said. "But it was."