All Comments on 'Throwing Strikes'

The excruciating game play by play was boring and unnecessary to the story. The writing was simplistic and dialogue stiff. 3*

Jack Armstrong, the All-American Boy!

Fantastic

When did Major League Baseball get rid of the draft????

Very enjoyable! I'm not a sports fan, but when you used "inside baseball" details, you communicated to me just fine. As a writer, I think you've got good skills there.

I agree with commenter ForensicFossil that there is a problem with tension and resolution--at the whole story level. All you set pieces, your scenes are lovely. I feel as though you didn't have a character arc or a plot arc. I've had some much trouble with my own plots that I've read too many books about writing. I'm not saying that you should read and adopt the structure from Story Engineering, but you should read some about emotionally satisfying the reader. I hate to say this stuff because I never want to write things that I'm not inspired to, and I completely hate reading some escapist adventure novel and finding it to have a rigid sequence of events ALA Story Engineering. My favorite books on writing (see his novels, too) are John Gardener's The Art of Fiction and On Becoming a Novelist. Steven King and Milan Kundera and John Fowles are top-notch practictioners who can speak from trenches.

Now and then we get stories that are consistent with the name of the category: Loving Wives. While I enjoy reading them, not all stories have to have btb ending. Now, RAAC is still something I cannot stand...

Uhhh, hope you didn‘t cross a line with the X-Men reference, never cross a line with Disney!

That was really well done - not being a Yank, the base ball stuff took some thinking about, but you made it clear and enjoyable, so it was not a distraction - gave you five shiners…

Was this about baseball?

Was this about young couple and true love?

Was this story about a cheating wife?

Was this story about a husband finding happiness after divorce of a cheating wife?

I know, this was about all of the above and more 🤭.

With enough plots for three or four different stories offkilter123 writes his poorest story.

The quality of the writer is a cut above the rest. But this particular story was not.

Thank you offkilter123 for your bravado.

Looking forward to seeing the next story. I'm

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AMerryman

Lee encouraging his girlfriend to date while they were apart is confusing as he saw what cheating does to a relationship. No way Carol would have been allowed to give the speech at the high school victory celebration on behalf of the company. Carol and Ted reconnecting after everything doesn't make any sense, the way it was forced into the story you just wanted a reconciliation and ending with everyone together. This would've been better if Ted had not included Carol at the CWS victory dinner and without the reconciliation. Just because you don't want to BTB there are storylines other than reconciliation. Like Carol having to make new life for herself as Ted continues to give her the cold shoulder.

Between t.u. winning the cws and the weak reconciliations this story was only 1 star.

118 mph??? Come on!!!

Far better than what we get here. I see some low IQ readers have trouble with a multidimensional story. Too bad for them. 5

Notwithstanding the view from the “academy” (@AMerryman), this was both different (in a cool way), well conceived and written. Great stuff. Great writing and thanks for keeping the trolls “off kilter.” 5 for sure.

Pretty funny, 1407 Graymalkin Lane, Salem Center, Westchester County, New York is the Home of the X men. I love it.

I Get a kick out of comments like 118 mile an hour pitch when it’s just a fictional story. Not any worse than a guy with a 24 inch dick and can come to 82 times in one night. Yes it’s ridiculous but it’s just the story. Actually this was a fun story anyway.

Great read, 5 stars.

Great story and well developed with fantasy and hope. Could only Give 4 stars because of the extreme poetic license.

Thanks

5***** but a 118mph fastball? He could have been phenomenal in MLB with a mere 106 mph. lol

I love a well written story line with a happy ending. 5* Thanks for sharing!

Nolan Ryan is still the man: And even for fiction, your story reached in and grabbed a big handful of absurdity. Still, I gave this silly story 5 stars because it was fun and entertaining.

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I have no heartache with the reconciliation; she paid a price and eventually made it back into the fold. Good for them. This was no RAAC.

The writing wasn't that crash hot, but the story was generally fun (even if a bit unbelievable). I'm not too surprised that Ted and Carol eventually got back together. She seemed incredibly remorseful, to the point of publicly humiliating herself over her affair and Ted seemed more like he wasn't that angry at her as he was more angry about what she forced him to do. That might sound weird, but think of it this way - You might love someone enough to understand that they are essentially a good person who did a bad thing, might even be able to forgive them on some level (Ted evidently was able to forgive Carol) but sometimes a woman just backs a man into a corner and he can't do anything BUT throw her dumb ass out.

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Women don't understand this because they don't usually have pride like a man does and they tend to think that this pride is dumb, not realizing it's one of the factors that makes a man step in front of a woman or child when hell is breaking loose. Same shit, different day - a mans pride is good when it benefits them, but toxic if it doesn't. Just an example of why you shouldn't listen to their self serving nonsense - it's all about advocating for benefits without responsibility.

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The baseball stuff was pure fantasy (that fastball, those contracts, lol) but I enjoyed it. I even enjoyed some of the dialog, which was odd because honestly the writing here is a bit... Well, it's serviceable, but it's blunt and terse and could use some polish. Think about how to set a scene for the reader, add some detail, set the mood, etc. It feels more like you're telling us something rather than showing us a picture in our minds.

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Overall, I liked it. A solid 4/5 from me.

Thanks for a really good tale. I enjoyed your characters and the storyline. Thanks again for sharing your stories. I’m looking forward to your next gift to your followers.

Excellent.

Damn good story but a baseball SME would have been very helpful

Great story, thoroughly enjoyed it

Scores 5/5

A very enjoyable tale. Thanks.

... I'm a simple man.

A good story AND a X-Men reference at its very end?

A very easy way to get a 5⭐ out of me!

Thanks for the share, author.

A very good story. 5. Time to read some of your other stuff.

Always like your stories, well written and a different over the top story. Lee and Sloan must have sainthood in their future, for not cheating on each other! Didn’t much care for the copy and paste, until it was his mom this time. Also, thought it was funny that his mom and wife both had kids the same time, LOL…. To bad his little brother is LW…….

Thanks for writing.

A fun story.

Thank you.

@sbrooks103x

"This is not a BTB story. If that bothers you, please skip this story." - I have no problem with a story not being BTB,as long as the ending makes sense. I AM bothered by RAAC, because by their very nature they CSN'T make sense. - That is YOUR problem, as many things bother you! What is CSN'T?

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"The batter got a hit off of Lee's first pitch; a slider." - Making contact with the ball for an easy out isn't a hit.- It is if it goes forward.

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We don't really need a play-by-play, pitch-by-pitcj description of the game. - Just because you think so doesn't mean everyone does as well. Especially the author of a story that is not YOURS.

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Why would the restraining order keep him away from his son? Surely he's no threat to his son? - Why couldn't it?

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"It was so that an insecure, vain, selfish woman could prove to herself that she still 'had it'." - Why does it matter? Will it affect her life one way or the other if she "has it" or not? - If you READ the story you would know that it did.

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Several no-hitters and three perfect games, and nobody feared him? - In FICTION AND FANTASY anything is possible.

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I don't think someone who has only played college ball, no matter how well, and won't be 100% committed to baseball is going to get a $100,000,000 contract. - You think but you don't KNOW.

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I was about to criticize you repeating him crashing his father's party, thought it was a goof-up, until I saw that it was his mother! - That didn't stop you from goofing-up the rest of your comments, I mean worthless nitpicks.

As a Brit it’s much too top heavy on the ball game, nearly all of it makes no sense to me, BUT I hate all ball games, so I liked the plot but not the fluff that made most of it up.

As a story it felt right by me, nice not over the top characters.

oldtwit just don't get America's passion for our Baseball. So be it, great Baseball, and loving wives story. Five stars worthy so that's what it got from me. Thank you for it.

A fun read, and very entertaining. As an American, I think our society has a fascination with celebrity, and I really enjoy stories like this one, as well as the Billy Goat Hill Pundits, Coming From Behind, Catching Colleen,

It’s Only Rock and Roll, or Nothing as Sexy as a Man in a Skirt...to name a few.

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I put this story in the same category. 5 Stars and thanks!

5 stars from Xluckylee for an excellent story. Thank you

Maybe next time you put a warning about the nature of the story, you are a bit more specific. I have no problem with stories that aren't BTB. I do have an issue with any reconciliation that doesn't involve sexual assault, since it requires reading from a closet cuck's POV. And usually one pretending they aren't just that. So it would be nice to avoid it...

"You are my mother and I will always love you ...". I'm always wondering about this trope. Is this some kind of wishful thinking from all the authors doing it? Do they look around in the real world, seeing how many blood bonds break for less than what's in their stories and get depressed? Is it some kind of obsession to present their MC as a saint? Because in reality, there is no such thing as unconditional love. It doesn't matter who you are, parent, child, sibling, if your actions don't fulfill the conditions for familial love, it's very easy to be excised like a tumor. In this case, her actions aren't those of a loving mother's so why should we expect MC to empathize like a loving son? A normal person, wouldn't have the urge to hug their mother after her self admission that she destroyed the family because her pussy was itching for strange dick. Just saying...

Great story! A great day to post as the start of the 2024 baseball season.

Sometimes it's nice to read a story with happy endings for all involved.

Good job, and awarded appropriately.

Ok, I call bs on this. I have looked up Guinness records with no mention of him, nothing on utube. Reached out UT they have no record of him going there much less playing ball. Rangers or MLB never heard of him. Wished you would have stated at the start it was made up!!!!! just jokin, never did that. Great b-ball story 5 stars

Excellent story from beginning to end, thank you! Sure wish you'd do away with the dot dot dot's because they sound terrible in a text reader and so do the compound words but I can live with those. 5 ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐'s.

1407 Graymalkin Lane, Salem Center, Westchester County, New York. Well, that's Off Kilter, no denying. Lol. Good story.

I, like 95% of the rest of the planet, haven't a clue about baseball, so a lot of this went right over my head. Other than that, it's your average RAAC story, nuff said.

Great ball story! True fictional art.

Stike !

Excellent feel good story from start to finish.

One of your best non BtB stories. This was such a feel good story that I kept waiting for the hammer to drop and yet it never did. 5💫

Excellent

Enjoyable reading time and most importantly I was entertained throughout the story! Well done!!

Please do keep writing and I will keep reading!

Wonderful, tear-jerker!

Author please rework that ending and republish, the story had hall of fame possibilities, except for the ending.

Great story! I love baseball, and I love real loving wives like Sloan. Knowing LW stories like I do, I kept expecting Doc to blow up his arm, and Sloan to cheat. Thankfully, neither happened. Mom was a cheating bitch, but rehabilitated herself enough to have another baby with her betrayed husband. Very well written and entertaining story.

The inclusion of a child's game as such a central part of a story made it unreadable for me. I'm sure there are plenty of people that think the opposite, just as there are many people that sniff petrol.

The idea though that such a successful college player and then pro wouldn't have girls throwing themsekves at him is as absurd as the idea that he remained celibate.

Perhaps he was a homosexual, as he sure cums across as one.