Tidal Wave on a Blind Date

I turned to her. "I'm sorry." I started fixing my hair, regretful of not finding a mirror. "God I must look like hell."

Josie smiled and said, "Actually you look cute." Once again her face and the smile that sat on it took my breath away. Now I could actually feel that my pulse was racing.

"I look cute?" I smiled and held out a lock of wet hair. "For what? A drowning victim on that Law & Order show?"

She paused, and then said, "For my date. I've seen dry women who don't make me swoon like you do."

My jaw dropped open and I sat there as frozen as when I was waiting for Josie. She turned her head away with a sheepish smile on her face. Finally I said, "I'm not sure if I should say thank you or offer my first born."

Josie laughed. "I'll take the thank you. Not interested in kids."

"Me neither, but I'd have one if you were."

"Ladies," the driver said, "this is all very fuckin' sweet. But I'm losing out on fares. Is there an address I can take you to?"

I said, "Yeah, it's-"

Josie broke in, "Just head to the West Side Highway. I'll guide you from there." She looked at me. "No arguments."

Not that I would have. That smile, her face...I'd have gone anywhere.

1.

Anywhere turned out to be a factory-turned-condos building on Washington Street. I paid the fare despite Josie's arguments, and when we got out of the cab I could see that Josie was around my height, about five foot six. Inside the foyer I felt like we'd moved into another dimension. The building entrance and hallways were well lit and paneled with blonde wood that looked new, and the place looked like it was cleaned and vacuumed very often.

"Nice place." I said as we rode the elevator to the tenth floor. "Can't imagine what they rent for,"

"Me neither. I'm apartment sitting. In a month I'll probably be squatting again."

Her last statement prompted so many questions that I decided not to bother. Something told me I'd have plenty of time with Josie to find out all about her. When we got to the apartment Josie pulled out a key chain with at least twenty-five keys on it, all of them with color tags or tape with writing. I'd have to ask about those too...but later.

The door opened to a brick lined living room with a ceiling at least fifteen or twenty feet high. There was a U-shaped sectional couch, a coffee table the size of my bed, a stereo next to a CD rack, a bookcase, and a huge flat screen TV mounted to the wall. On the opposite wall there was a huge window, and despite being only ten stories up we could see over some smaller buildings before the view was blocked by a much taller one. The other two walls were covered with framed movie posters. Some of them were classics but most were for more recent films of the B grade horror variety. As we walked in I said, "Owner's a big movie fan."

"Actually she works in the movies. Special effects. She's on one right now in the Canadian woods. Won't be back for another month."

"And she pays you to watch her place?"

Josie made a face. "She doesn't exactly pay me...it's more like a mutually beneficial situation."

I smiled. "Uh huh."

"It doesn't involve sex! You have got a dirty mind hiding behind that innocent face. No, we met at a gallery opening and she liked one of my paintings. We got to talking and I mentioned that I was between places and voila!"

My eyebrows rose. "You're a painter?"

The smile came back and her face practically exploded with glee. "Oh yes! Painting is my passion and my career. I don't make shit for money, but I love it and I'm not going to stop, even if I don't..." She made quotation marks with her fingers. "Make it."

Suddenly, out of nowhere, that dammed feeling that I wasn't ready for this came back over me. It was followed by an overwhelming urge to make an excuse for why I had to leave. And that's when I heard panting. Up walked the cutest little dog I'd ever seen; so small and compact it could almost fit in my hands. It looked up at me with the saddest little eyes.

"Oooohhh!" I squealed. "How cute!"

Josie kneeled down and started stroking the dog's hair. "This is Fearie, she's my little sweetheart. Aren't you? Aren't you my little sweetheart?" She kissed Fearie on the nose. I knelt down and Josie said, "Say hello to our guest little Fearie."

I reached out to pet the precious dog, and just as my hand got to her head Fearie showed her teeth, uttered a deep growl that sounded like it came from the pit of Hell itself, and started barking at me with the viciousness of a dog eighty times her size. Suddenly I was back on my feet.

"It's okay," Josie said with a smile on her face. "Fearie just likes to play around."

The dog lunged as I reversed until my back hit the wall. At this point Fearie wasn't exactly barking and not exactly growling, she had somehow combined the two into a sound akin to a hellhound on its worst day. She looked at me with these dead dark eyes that seemed to swallow the light around them and gnashed her teeth at me like she was showing off the tools she would later use to peel my skin off.

Josie got up and calmly walked into the living room. "Don't worry, her bark is worse than her bite."

I wasn't exactly comforted by that thought. While I don't know much about dogs, of one thing I was certain -- if Fearie had the chance she'd climb up my body and chew my face to shreds, stopping along the way to rip off one of my breasts.

Josie put her keys on the table and said, "Fearie!"

The little dog turned and ran towards her owner. Josie leaned down and petted the now docile animal, which licked Josie's face with tenderness. As I stood there waiting for my heart rate to drop below a thousand, I was dumbstruck at how oblivious Josie was to the lethal nature of her dog.

Josie looked up from her 'sweetheart' and said, "I can imagine you want to get out of that dress and take shower."

"Yeah, that'd be great."

Josie pointed down the hallway. "It's down there at the end. Feel free to use the shampoo and soap and stuff, it's all mine. I'll go get you something dry to wear. And prepare yourself for the bathroom, it's a little weird." She didn't explain anything beyond that.

Weird didn't cover it. At first everything seemed normal when I opened the door and was greeted with an old style bathroom, all white with a claw foot tub that doubled as a shower, tile on the floor and halfway up the wall until paint finished the distance to the ceiling. What stopped me was the shower curtain. It was opaque white with the silhouette of a matronly looking woman holding up what looked like a large kitchen knife in striking position.

I looked down. The rug was black with a strange white line pattern on it, and it took me a moment to notice that said pattern was in the shape of a human body, like how police outline the dead ones. This was starting to freak me out. For a second I considered skipping the shower, but things were going good with Josie and if they started getting better the last thing I wanted was to literally smell like a New York City street.

When I shut the door something behind it caught my eye and I jumped. It was another framed movie poster, Alfred Hitchcock's 'Psycho'. Suddenly the freak show bathroom made more sense. I climbed out of the dress, which was even harder than putting it on because now it was wet, then looked at the curtain and felt a moment of trepidation as I pulled it aside...and found nothing in the shower but a shower.

I made the water hot and stepped under the stream for my second shower in so many hours, and this one felt better than the first. My shoulder muscles relaxed for the first time in...well days I guess. This date had had me so nervous, so stressed out that I didn't realize how tense my body had become. The shampoo and conditioner were way off-brand stuff, so cheap that after I washed my hair I realized I needed to do it again to get the smell out. I felt bad for using so much shampoo, and that made me think about Josie. She was an interesting character. A starving artist who probably lived hand to mouth and kept a ferocious yet travel size animal. Even though I'd only been around her for about an hour I sensed so much of her personality...forceful yet understanding, tough yet sensitive, with equal doses of sweet and sexy.

Without even thinking about it, my hand had slid down to my pussy and my fingers started playing with my wiry black pubes. I thought about what it would be like to touch Josie's skin, to kiss her on the lips, to wrap my arms around her body. A finger slid over my clit as I continued to fantasize. Josie's tongue slips into my mouth, my hand slides over her breast. She slides the straps of the dress over my shoulders and I rip open her blouse and send buttons flying everywhere. Her bra is red and lacy, fitting with her personality. She pulls away from me and stands up, unbuttons her pants and slides them off, revealing a red thong. Josie smiles that smile again and I melt again. Then she goes to take off the bra and panties and...what does she look like naked? I open my eyes, look around, and think about how Josie stands naked in here everyday. That turns me on even more.

I cup my right breast and squeeze as I slide a finger inside my hole. Moving it slowly in and out, I close my eyes and imagine Josie standing here, washing her naked body, maybe even masturbating like I am. My thumb and forefinger pinch a nipple as I slide another finger inside, moving in and out and twirling around. The more I think of Josie, of her smile and her face, and not to mention her imaginary nude body, the harder I start pumping in and out of myself. I put a foot up on the side of the tub and bring my other hand from my breast down to my clit and massage it back and forth. I imagine Josie is the one touching me, stimulating me, first with her fingers and then with her mouth. Low, deep moans begin emanating from my throat like mating calls. Now I'm right on the edge.

Suddenly I hear a click. I open my eyes and look around to see if something fell. As my vision sweeps the tub and comes towards where I'm standing, they see nothing, nothing but me with my fingers in my crotch. That's when I really start to think about what I'm doing -- masturbating in a stranger's shower. Even worse -- masturbating in the middle of a first date. My shoulders slump at the thought of how pathetic I've become. And that's when I hear something again, an indistinguishable sound just outside the shower curtain. It's really hard to make out over the sound of the running water. I get really quiet and strain to hear something, anything. There! Again, like a rustling sound. I couldn't see beyond the opaque curtain with the oh-so-not-helping image on it of a woman with a knife. Maybe it was Fearie the Mad Dog here to rip off my face? I didn't want to ask who was there, because if it was Satan's hound she might attack.

Somehow I found the courage to inch towards the edge of the curtain. I pulled it back just enough to peer around it.

"HEY!"

I screamed. Josie screamed. She stood there holding my dress.

"Wow you're jumpy!" she exclaimed

"In this bathroom, yes. I heard noises."

"So did I." Her face held no indication that she knew what I was doing. "Just wanted to tell you that I'm going to hang up your dress to dry. I was going to throw it in the dryer, but it's dry clean only."

I looked at the dress and said, "Stupid dress."

"I left you some clothes too. Hope you don't mind PJ's, but I figured we'd get comfortable." Josie pointed at the pile of clothes sitting on the toilet lid. That's when I noticed she wasn't wearing her date clothes anymore. She'd changed into a white T-shirt and blue plaid pajama pants. Her feet were bare except for a gold toe ring on her right index toe. On the T-shirt was printed, "Nobody Knows I'm A Lesbian".

"I'm in love with comfortable."

She smiled. "Good. Interested in ordering some take-out?"

"That'd be great."

"Cool, I'll get out some menus. Sadly the Italian place around here sucks, but there are a few good Chinese places, if you're into that..."

I pointed at my face. "Do I look like I'm not?"

Josie laughed. "I just don't want to assume. I'm sure most of the take out around here probably doesn't compare to the home cooking you've had."

"And obviously you've never experienced my dad's cooking." I physically shuddered. "Ugh."

2.

I finished showering and quickly dried and clothed myself. Josie left me a pair of red plaid pajama pants and a black T-shirt for some heavy metal band. Both were well worn and comfortable. I put my gold anklet back on, hoping that might bring me luck later.

Walking into the living room I heard Cat Power coming from the stereo. Josie was sitting on the couch and Fearie was right next to her. I made sure to sit on the other side of Josie, who was sipping from a large mug. She indicated another mug on the table. "I made us some hot chocolate, figured you needed something to warm you up."

"Thanks," I said and took a sip from the mug. It was good hot chocolate...spiked with something a little extra. I gave Josie a look that asked the question.

"I figured a little Peppermint Schnapps would warm you up even more."

We looked at a menu. Sitting so close to Josie I felt the heat from her body. Actually this all felt so good, being in a warm and cozy place, wearing comfortable clothing and ordering take-out. From the window lightning flashed, and looking at the harsh weather conditions outside caused a shiver through my body. Then came the thought that I shouldn't get too comfortable, a flash of Elizabeth ran through my head and I remembered how quickly things could go bad. My eyes squeezed shut and I shook my head to get rid of the thought. It passed, and taking a deep breath I opened my eyes and we went about deciding on way too much food. Josie got up to grab the phone and I suddenly found myself staring at the potential object of my demise. Fearie started growling and bared her teeth at me.

"Nice Fearie," I said with optimism and a smile. The animal must have taken that as a threat, because suddenly she jumped and I found myself diving to the other side of the couch. Josie was on the phone placing the order, and she didn't notice that I was on my back with my legs flying and kicking trying to fend off her dog. Somehow Fearie found an opening in my defenses and deftly pounced on top of my chest. I grabbed Fearie's ears to keep her head back as she came within an inch of biting off my nose. She kept lunging forward, her jaws snapping in an effort to take something away from my face. I held onto her ears for dear life, and every time those fangs got close I managed to twist her head away.

We struggled like that until Josie got off the phone and turned around. I thought for sure I was saved. But then Josie just smiled. "Glad you two are getting along. Fearie, are you hungry? You are, aren't you sweetheart? I'll get your dinner ready. "

From my viewpoint Fearie was already working on dinner. As Josie walked to the kitchen I tried to call out for help but Fearie sprang forward and my lower lip almost became her first course. This was a strong little dog, and she pushed in hard enough so that I had to turn my face away. Fearie was about to have my left cheek in her jaws when the sound of a can opener in the kitchen made her jump right out of my hands. The evil little creature scrambled into the kitchen and left me panting and sweaty. A few seconds later Josie walked out of the kitchen saying, "Sorry to break you two up. Wow, you really got into playing with her."

She must have been referring to my heavy breathing and sweaty face. I forced a smile. "I love animals," except the kind that belong in a cage.

Josie sat down with a slightly devious smile pointed at me. "So while we're waiting for food, I have five questions for Gretchen Wang."

I caught my breath and sat up. "Okay," I said with a hesitant tone, and hopefully, a cute look.

"What do you do for a living?"

"I work for a book publisher."

"Doing what?"

"Marketing."

"And how old are you?"

Feigning an offended look I said, "A proper lady never reveals her age." Josie just stared at me. "Okay, twenty-nine. But I'm known to lie."

"Do you keep in contact with your family?"

"I call my parents once a week. My brother is in the military so we converse by email. My sister...not so much."

"Why not so much?"

"'Cause she only calls when she needs money."

Josie nodded. "Did you go to public school or private?"

I smiled. "That's more than five questions."

"Some of your answers were vague, ergo additional questions."

"So how many do we have to go?"

"This one and one more. Public or private?"

I sighed. "Private. So what's the last question?"

Josie looked right into my eyes. "Would you mind terribly if I kissed you?"

I smiled. "I'd mind terribly if you didn't."

Josie moved closer as our heads leaned in and our lips came together. There were two hesitant pecks, followed by two more confident kisses, followed by a joining of the mouths. Josie's tongue and mine were working hard together, my hands were caressing her back and hers were caressing my front. Her hand moved down slowly until it got to my left breast. She squeezed. I moaned. The phone rang.

Without breaking the kiss, Josie used her hands to guide me over until she could reach the phone on the table. She picked it up, hit the answer button, and then hit another button that I assumed buzzed in the delivery guy. She switched it off and tossed it on the other section of the couch. We continued kissing as Josie's hand again came to my breast, caressing it through the shirt. My nipples were hard at this point, and right when Josie pinched my nipple there was a knock at the door. She broke the kiss and looked into my eyes. "To be continued later." She pinched my nipple again, and I moaned and rolled my eyes. Josie reached over and grabbed money she had lying on the table.

"Hey," I said. "Why don't you let me pay for this?"

"You paid for the cab. And don't think the squatting thing makes me a charity case."

I sighed. "Can I at least give the tip?"

The doorbell rang again. Josie smiled. "Don't worry, I'll cover that easy." She jumped up and as she skipped to the door she pulled off her T-shirt. Just before she opened the door she dropped her pajama bottoms. I couldn't believe it; she stood in front of the delivery guy buck-naked. The delivery guy was a beefy Asian kid with short spiky hair and a soft, friendly face. He didn't look shocked at all, but he did give her body a good once over before he said, "Hey Josie."

"Hey Ben. How're you?"

Ben was about to answer when his eyes caught me. "Apparently not as lucky as you."

"Well then here's something extra. Later, she and I are going to..." and she leaned over and started whispering in his ear. Ben's eyebrows rose slowly until they almost became an extension of his hairline. He smiled as Josie finished.

"Wow, good deal." And with a hangdog smile he said, "Guess there's not a chance I could watch, is there?"

With a broad smile and cheer in her voice, Josie said, "Not on your life."

Ben nodded and looked at me. "Well, you guys have fun."

She handed him the money and he handed her the food. The door shut and she walked back over with a smile on her face. Suddenly she stopped cold and stared at me like she just remembered I was there.

"Um...wow, I'm naked...in front of you."

"Yeah," I said with a smile. "You were naked in front of the delivery guy as well."

"Oh, Ben?" Josie gave a brief laugh. "Well, since I'm kind of on a tight budget I feel terrible about not always being able to tip, so I started nude tipping. You know, answer the door naked...better than nothing."

I looked down at her body. "From where I'm sitting, I think they like it better than a lot of things."