Tips on Wife Sharing

A Lady Recently Asked Why Some Husbands Want Their Wives to Have Sex with Other Men ...

A lady posted a question on an open sex website asking if somebody could explain to her why her husband has expressed his fantasy to her about watching her having sex with other men? She also wanted to know why this would turn him on, if he was secretly gay and if she should make his fantasy real.

I am one of "those guys" and thought I'd write an explanation from my personal perspective.

I quickly typed a short response, but by the time I proofread my message and was ready to send it off to her, the post had disappeared so I couldn't send what I had written. I don't know if the morality police had removed her post, or if she had received a bunch of dick photos by misguided guys thinking that a photo of their junk would cause her to select them as 'the guy' she should have sex with thereby causing her to remove her own posting. I suspect the latter.

The inability to respond to her led me to thinking, maybe other ladies also might question why some men enjoy this scenario as it is often expressed in Literotica's 'Loving Wives" category. I figured that that they might benefit from at least one man's perspective on the question. I have fantasized about this and experienced the reality with my first wife and numerous girlfriends in between marriages for over forty years. In short, it is just simply hot!

I am not offering any psychological advice as I am not qualified to provide such advice. But I do have quite a bit of experience with sexually sharing my partners that was very enjoyable for many years. As long as two (or more) people enjoy something privately and nobody is getting hurt and no laws are being broken, then there is simply no moral judgement to be made in my opinion.

Something as personally important as enjoying my girlfriends or my wife fucking other guys did not occur in a vacuum for me. What follows is the germination of the seed for me to enjoy my ladies having sex with other men. The following isn't a 'story' for Literotica's Loving Wives category. Instead, it is told as background for why I like what I like as a man that enjoys sharing his ladies.

My History ... Coming to Grips with Sharing my First Wife ... it was a tough road ...

As a younger man back in the late 1960's and early 1970's I was probably a bit more 'normal' in that I had jealous feeling when guys came on to my girlfriends. In 1968, I entered the Army. While I was away, my girlfriend gave in to every soldier's nightmare ... she met 'Jody' and slept with him. I didn't find out about it until after I left active duty and returned home in 1970. I moved in with my girlfriend as soon as I got home and thought all was well. Was I ever in for a surprise!

My revelations as to her activities while I was away began with late night phone calls from nobody on the line when I answered the phone because it was on my side of the bed. It was always a hang-up when I answered. When she actually answered she would quickly say "I can't talk now" and she would hang up. These calls were mostly coming in after midnight. Then, one night I answered but didn't say anything ... 'he' started talking in very slurred language ... obviously stoned ... it was the 70's after all. But he was coherent enough to say "I need you to come over right now to fuck me ... I need it now". I immediately hung up and woke my girlfriend. I told her what had happened, and she brushed it off. She was living in a duplex and she told me that the girl next door had an old boyfriend that really wanted to hook up with her, but she just kept telling him no. "Hmmm" I thought?

About a week later, she was getting ready for a bath and she had left the bathroom door slightly open. I saw through the open crack that she was climbing into the tub with her t-shirt still on. This was really odd, so I stepped into the bathroom as she sat down into the tub, I lifted her shirt and saw several hickeys on her tits. She tried to tell me she had gotten bruised carrying boxes at work. "Bullshit" I said and left. I went away for a couple of hours. When I returned, she was gone and had left a note that she had gone to the laundromat to do our laundry. Gone to do laundry after midnight I thought? Was this more bullshit I wondered?

I was fuming! Then, the phone rang. I picked it up and again didn't say anything ... the guy on the other end of the line said "THANKS for coming over Bev, I really needed you to fuck me tonight ... It was great". I hung up and was beside myself with jealousy. I decided I'd go find her. I knew the laundromat that she went to and sure enough her car was there. I walked in and started yelling everything I could think of ... calling her every foul name imaginable. Fortunately, we were alone because had anybody heard me, I'm sure that they would have called the police. I was in a rage. I was very young and full of immature testosterone. We parted with me telling her (actually yelling) I never wanted to see or talk to her again.

I had a friend that had promised to look after her while I was away, in the Army and I went to see him the next day. He told me that he knew that she had been screwing the guy, but I was as much to blame as she was since I had often been a complete asshole when I called her while I was in the Army. I was not a happy soldier doing the things I had to do, and I made the mistake of taking it out on her in my calls. I realized that he was correct. I had been a total asshole.

My friend brokered a meeting between the three of us several weeks later. She and I spilled our guts about my asshole issues and her needing to get back at me by fucking this guy. She told me that she was just a booty call fuck for him. She didn't care when he called, she would just pick up and go fuck him and then come home as if nothing had happened. She said she didn't like him, that she just needed to divert my hostilities when I called and that she would stop seeing him at this point. She said that I should date other girls to see if it made me feel any better. I did and it didn't. It took me about a month of dating others to realize that I wanted her back.

We did get back together after that month. When we had sex, I sometimes thought of her ... having sex with another nondescript guy. It turned me on but after the sex, I was really felt disappointed in myself and a bit guilty at my feelings. Why was I turned on? I tried not to think about her getting fucked during our sex, but it didn't work. When I masturbated, this pretty much occupied my mind.

As time went on, I finally became more and more comfortable with myself fantasizing about her having sex with other men while we were having sex, while I was masturbating and when I was just daydreaming. I conjured up all types of scenarios and types of guys. Interestingly, I almost never fantasized about me having sex with other women. Although, I did have that fantasy about her.

One evening, we were at a restaurant, I went to the restroom. In the stall, there were several inscribed messages by guys saying things like "I want to watch my wife sucking your cock ... call me at XXX-YYYY). That also stuck in my mind. The food and entertainment were both good and we returned often. I made at least one trip to the bathroom every time we went to 'read the wall'. There were always new inscriptions. Then one night, I screwed up the courage to leave my own inscription ... "I want to watch guys fuck my girlfriend" but I didn't have the courage to leave my phone number, so I asked them to leave theirs. I thought of this that night as we had sex, and this was the strongest fantasy sex I had ever experienced! I was mentally hooked. Unfortunately, I couldn't tell my girlfriend. But I did go back to the stall a week or so later ... there were three phone numbers and first names. I jotted them down not knowing what I was going to do.

One day while I was alone, I again screwed up my courage and picked up the phone. I dialed the first number. A lady answered. I hung up. I called the 2^nd number. A guy answered and I asked for the name by the phone number. It was him ... I told him I had left the message and wanted to talk to him to see if we were compatible. He was nice and polite, but he sounded like he was about 80. I was 22 at the time and my girlfriend was 21. This wasn't going to work, and I told him so but I had a raging hard on and jacked off as we spoke. I think he knew what I was doing. Several days later, I called the 3^rd number. It was disconnected. I tried the 1^st number several more times, but the lady always picked up. I finally ceased calling.

By now, I had a whole repertoire of sex scenarios for my girlfriend with other guys. But I still couldn't tell her though. In the mid-1970's we finally got married. I use finally because she was chomping at the bit to tie the knot. All was fine until the late 1970's. I was having issues at work and I was taking it out on her. Again, my fault. Her response was to have an affair with a guy at her work. This time, I wasn't livid. I asked her about it. She wasn't talking no matter how much I asked. But my imagination was still very much in gear and I thought about her fucking him every time we had sex. I kept asking and she kept silent. I'm sure I was pissing her off by my constant asking about the affair. I knew about the affair because her best friend told me about it.

Finally, we decided that we needed marriage counseling. I didn't have a clue what to expect or how to behave. One afternoon during a one-on-one discussion with the therapist she told me that she suspects I was holding something back. I lied and told her "nope". But I knew it was a lie and so did she. In our next one-on-one session, I apologized for lying. She said it was okay and asked what I was lying about?

I told her about my fantasies. I pretty much relayed what I have written above.

At that point, she said "relax ... it is much more common than you suspect". She told me that she hears this from married guys all the time. The question is, do I want it for real or do I want to keep it a fantasy.

I told her I didn't know.

She also asked if I have ever spoken to my wife about it?

I told her no.

Then she asked if I would be comfortable talking about my desires with her present?

I told her I didn't know about "being comfortable" but I was willing to try. I had to wait for two weeks for our next couples' appointment. This gave me time to think about what to say and how to say it.

I was sweating bullets as we sat in the lobby.

My wife noticed and asked why?

I told her because the therapist wanted me to speak openly about some of my feelings and that it frightened me.

She told me she loved me and she hoped I could do what the therapist wanted.

When we were called in, the therapists asked if we had done our homework (we each had little assignments to do between every session). Some of the assignments were joint and some were individual.

She asked my wife first ... I don't recall what it was that she was supposed to do, and I am sure I didn't hear a word she said.

Then, it was my turn ... I was still scared shitless ...

The therapist started to talk when it was my turn probably to introduce the revelation ... but I interrupted blurting out ... "Bev, I love you and I want to watch other guys fuck you!"

Silence ... more silence ... then my wife started crying breaking the silence.

"Why" she asked in a very low voice? "Are you gay" she asked?

"NO!" I answered.

I told her that I didn't know 'why' and all that I did know was it turned me on to think about it. I told her that it was a huge turn-on in my mind. I admitted that I had been thinking these things since learning about the guy she was fucking while I was in the Army and that I couldn't stop thinking about her having sex with other men since her most recent affair.

Our therapist explained to my wife as she had me earlier that in her experience and research, she found that it was pretty common for husbands to imagine their wives having sex with other men and to get sexual gratification from this train of thought. She said that most couples deal with it in the realm of fantasy as in either role playing or telling stories. She suggested this as our next assignment. Try either stories or role playing.

"Role playing" asked my wife? "How so"?

"Maybe go dancing and pretend to be strangers and do the 'pick-up' thing" she suggested.

We agreed to try that. We did and it led to a very enjoyable experience for the evening of dancing and superb sex when we got home. During the sex we continued the role playing as if it were a one-night stand type of encounter. We each picked personas, but we didn't tell each other who we were pretending to be until the role play started. It was a great experience.

After several months of successful role playing, we started telling stories at the end of the evening. When we got home, I switched roles back to myself and asked her "how she enjoyed her night out with her girlfriends" which was the story for that night. She then told me the story of the guy she met and danced with and what they did in the back of the bar and again some time later what she did with the guy in the parking lot. It was our start into the world of fantasy sex that would eventually become reality.

The morphing into reality came several years later. We had switched from rock dancing to country and western dancing. I traveled to Sacramento quite often and would meet her at home after flying back on the nights she went dancing where she would tell me a story about what she did. I figured that she was making the stories up but I secretly was hoping that they were real.

One night, I caught an early flight home and thought that I'd surprise her by going to the dance club. Wearing a suit and tie, I was a bit uncomfortable showing up 'out of uniform' as it were and told myself that I'd just pop in, say hi and then head home.

As I was walking toward the front door of the club fishing for my wallet for the cover charge, I saw my wife heading out of the front door with a very young guy in tow. By this time, my wife and I were in our early forties and the guy looked much younger than thirty. My stomach was lodged in my throat! I felt I couldn't breathe and was hyperventilating. What to do? I just stopped in my tracks.

My wife didn't see me, and she led the guy around to the parking lot side of the dance club. I stayed in the front portion of the parking lot but walked to a position where I could see them. They were embracing, kissing passionately and I could see he had both of his hands on her ass. The embrace had knocked her cowgirl hat off and it was on the ground. As they continued to kiss, he lifted her short skirt and was rubbing her ass hard. It was then that I noticed that I had a raging hard-on! This guy was feeling my wife up in the parking lot with people walking by and I was turned on!

A couple of girls walked by them and one of them said "get a room Bev".

Then, I heard my wife say "Good Idea" breaking away from the kiss and then they all started laughing.

One of the girls asked "what is your husband going to think"?

She told her "don't worry ... I'm going to tell him all about it!"

I was ready to cum!

Bev then took the guy back in tow and led him to her car. I had to relocate for a better view as her car was in the back of the lot that was poorly lit. She had a convertible Miata. He opened the driver's door for her and then went around to get in the passenger side. They started kissing again. He unbuttoned her blouse, she leaned forward so he could undo her bra and then his head dropped out of sight.

I couldn't see, but I instinctively knew that this guy was sucking my wife's tits while I watched. Wearing a suit, my hard-on was ripping to get out. I started massaging myself through my pants. Next, his head came up and they kissed again and he then it looked like he was whispering something in her ear. I assumed he was telling her to start the car so they could go to the motel down the street.

Bev did start her car and I ran to my truck. I followed her out of the parking lot. Instead of turning into the motel down the street, she turned onto the freeway. I followed her. She drove a few miles and exited at the local State College. I followed her into the campus where she pulled into the parking lot near the dorms. I parked behind her and to the right of her a car hoping to remain out of sight.

With the top down, I had a clear view of them both. They kissed for a few minutes and then, Bev's head disappeared into his lap. This was an early Miata without headrests, and he put his arms up on the back of the car and leaned his head back. I had repositioned myself for the third time for a better and slightly closer view. I could see her head going up and down ... my wife was actually sucking this young guy's cock. My heart was pounding like I had just run five miles and I came in my suit without touching myself. I came more than I ever had. My stomach was still in my throat but I absolutely loved what I was watching ... my wife was sucking this young guy off in the parking lot. I was going to jackoff to this scenario for years. The truth is ... I still jackoff to this almost thirty years later. Watching my wife suck this guy off is forever ingrained in my mind and I still love it! I finally had what I had wanted for decades.

Finally, Bev opened her door and spit ... she was spitting his cum into the parking lot. I started my car and slowly drove out of the parking lot hoping they wouldn't notice my truck. I drove home massaging my cock inside my sopping wet suit all the way. It was about midnight when I arrived home. Bev came in about an hour and a half later.

When she came into the bedroom, I could see that she was very disheveled. Her hair was askew, her makeup was a mess, her blouse only partially buttoned and her boots and pantyhose were in her hand.

"How was dancing ...?"

She cut me off in midsentence. She simply said ... "I have a story for you ... and this one is not make believe."

Her story, her disheveled hair, her physical condition and the look she had in her eyes hooked me. I was enthralled with what she told me in every detail. She hadn't cleaned up. She had the scent of cum on her breath, her hair was matted with sticky cum, her tits had dried cum on them along with several hickeys and her pussy was swimming in his cum. We made love numerous times that night adding to his cum. This started ten years of an open marriage that was the most sexually charged ten years of my life. I loved sharing Bev with the guys that she chose to be with.

What Bev didn't want was me watching her having sex with other men (I had told her I had seen her sucking the guy off ... he was 22 according to her). She said she wanted to go out on occasion, have a fling and then come home to tell me about it. Unfortunately, she eventually began to experiment sexually with her girlfriends and finally decided that this was the lifestyle she wanted. So, we eventually divorced about ten years later.

Sharing my girlfriends ...

Following our divorce, I was unmarried for about ten years and had several girlfriends that were open to "sharing". With them, we agreed that I would always be there to watch and sometimes join in and be with her after the other guy left. There were adult oriented websites by this time where the 'rules' were set by the description in one's profile. Being adult websites, you could be pretty explicit about what one was looking for.

I finally remarried about fourteen years ago. I shared my desired proclivities with my new wife before we were married, but she didn't want to have anything to do with such things. So now, I am stuck with my fantasies and memories of which there are a lot.