To Boldly Go Ch. 01

Focus Alan.

He shook his head to clear the suddenly very awkward thoughts going through it. Break this down into engineering concepts. The problem at hand; a liquid, coming from an...aperture, under pressure at an unknown velocity and angle, had to find its way into the vacuum hose. It had to find its way to the hose opening with sufficient accuracy because the vacuum suction was actually very weak; making it any stronger would risk having the hose and funnel assembly adhere to the anatomy of the user, a bad situation for more than one reason. Of course, the bigger concern was that any liquid that missed the hose could find its way to just about anywhere within the spacecraft, and liquid in zero-g had a tendency to cling to surfaces. This was both unhygienic as well as potentially dangerous if it found its way into any electrical systems.

So the question was, how to make sure the hose was properly aligned with the stream, so that nothing escaped the vacuum? Either the angle of the stream had to be adjustable to match that of the hose, or the angle of the stream had to be known for sure, so that the hose could be aligned..

Alan sat back in his chair numbly. He didn't know the answer for either option. The first one seemed the least likely, from what he knew of female anatomy. The second option...well, maybe there was a way to find out? For all he knew this was a simple matter of medical science! The local university had a very prestigious medical school, and FAST had consulted their medical library on many occasions on matters of crew health. How was this any different?

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How could this be any more different?

Alan stared glumly at the list of scratched off research paper and textbook titles. It had been simple enough to gain the librarian's cooperation. While he hadn't mustered the courage to go into the EXACT details of why he needed information on the female urinary tract, the explanation that they were worried about UTI's in zero-gravity was not completely untrue. He'd gotten a list of resources, but every single one was either completely pathological in nature, or rough structural anatomy; it seemed that nowhere had a study occurred on the actual mechanics of urination, once said urine left the body. At least, not in anything he'd found. He let out a frustrated groan, at a loss of where to look next. Research had never been his strong suit.

"Excuse me, sir?"

Alan turned to see a young woman, a grad student from the looks of it, messy brown bangs escaping from a hair band holding back shoulder length hair. Alan suddenly became conscious of the library's silence. "I'm terribly sorry miss. I didn't mean to disturb you"

"No, that's not it." she shook her head. "I just noticed your waistcoat. You work for FAST?"

Alan blinked then nodded. "In a sense.. I'm an engineer at Hatchstone Standard, in the human systems department. We're one of the biggest contractors for FAST"

Her expression perked up. "Impressive. If I may introduce myself. Emily Simms. I'm a bio-med student. I have a strong interest in space medicine, which I believe is a significant factor in human systems. I..." she took a breath, clearly working up some courage. "I understand that FAST is known to take on interns to assist with their work, but there aren't any openings with them right now. I don't suppose there are any openings within Hatchstone right now, though?"

"Openings..." Alan's mind lit up as part of the solution presented itself. "As it just so happens, one just opened up today. An urgent research project regarding one of the space plane human systems. Normally there would be a formal application, review, and interview process, but the immediate need of the position means that we will be making decisions very quickly. If perchance, you have a resume that could be sent over today..."

Emily nodded excitedly and pulled a folder from her bookbag. "I can do better than that, I just so happen to have one here on me."

Alan smiled, taking the offered document she produced from the folder. "You seem to be in the right place at the right time today." he glanced over it quickly. Neatly typed, standard med-school grades (impeccable) and a solid classwork background. "I don't think there will be any issues with this. There will be a project briefing tomorrow morning at 9am at Hatchstone Standard, conference room 4. I hope to see you there."

"Thank you! Mr...?" Emily offered her hand then paused as she realized she'd never asked what his name was.

"Bell. Alan Bell" Alan took the offered handshake. "I hope you can still thank me afterwards."

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Sifting through the deck of projector slides one last time, Alan took a deep breath as the ladies filed into the room. Everything was set up to get working, from the easel, projector, and markers, to the freshly brewed coffee sitting on the machine in the corner of the room. He had tapped a variety of talent from across Hatchstone that he knew were good enough to get the work done quickly and properly. The fact that he was the only male in the room was awkwardly apparent, and from the looks on the faces of the attendees, they had taken notice. Aside from Emily and Amelia, there were five other women.

There was Ginny O'shea from the technical writing department, who would be responsible for documenting the procedures used in the study, making sure that their work could be followed in the future if needed. While her auburn hair and glasses gave the initial impression of a secretary, she was far more educated and talented than her appearance belied.

Lucille Delgada was from systems design; Alan would have given this project to her if he'd been permitted, as she'd been an engineer almost as long as he had, and he knew that the bespectacled latina woman was one of the smartest people in the building. She was also a frequent lunch partner of his, and they'd built up a strong working friendship over the years.

Abigail Slack was from crew health, an imposing tall tall blonde woman who was warm with her friends, and icy cold to those who made any inappropriate jokes about nurses and sponge baths. Since this was at its core a matter of astronaut health, Alan would need her expertise, and he'd also talked to her about mentoring Emily, which she'd been happy to accept.

Kira Li was a short but intense woman from the laboratories. Despite her youthful appearance, anyone who made the mistake of comparing her to a Honshin school girl would find themselves banned from the labs indefinitely, with full support from management who knew her true talents. She would be responsible for managing any of the tests needed, and Alan also knew that she had a background in health, having worked as a lab technician for several medical companies prior to Hatchstone.

Finally, Ellen DuBois from media and records was one of their best videographers. She had worked closely with Ginny in the past, so Alan believed that they would collectively provide an excellent paper and video trail for the work being done. The dark skinned woman was also known to be incredibly practical; although she didn't have an engineering or science background like the rest of the team, she would provide the layman's view that the more technical members of the team might miss.

With the exception of Emily, he had worked with all of them in the past. He knew that aside from being talented in their own fields, they were of the right mindset to deal with the problem at hand without becoming embarrassed or otherwise unable to focus. In short, none of them were prudes or easily offended, and he also knew they could keep things under wraps.

"All right, close the door" he said as the last team member entered the room. "Before we get started, I'd like to introduce Emily Simms, an intern from Dryport University's Medical program. She'll be assisting with research, as well as acting as our liaison to the school if the need arises. I'm primarily putting her under the guidance of Ms. Slack, but she has the potential to learn from all of us, so make sure you give her the support she needs."

Alan waited for the brief introductions and greetings within the group to take place before continuing. "Now, what I'm about to show you isn't classified, but it's very sensitive in nature. The subject matter is going to be somewhat embarrassing, but it will be even worse if we don't solve the problem at hand. In short, Hatchstone has made a mistake, and it's our job to fix it." Waiting for everyone to get seated, he continued. "If it gets out to the public that we made an error of this magnitude, our reputation is going to be ruined. We need to make it like this never happened."

"What exactly is the mistake we're talking about?" Amelia spoke up.

Alan wasn't surprised to hear Amelia speak up first; he expected her to be the most forward.

"Well, to put it bluntly. There's a problem with the zero-g toilet. I don't believe anyone here worked on the project like I did with Mr Jenkins, though I do seem to remember some rather pointed teasing about it", he raised an eyebrow at Amelia who shrugged unapologetically.

"In any case. The issue is that the toilet design was finalized 3 years ago, but the crew was selected 1 year ago." He pulled up the photo that he'd received in Mr. Jone's office, with the three astronauts circled. "And it slipped everyone's mind at the time, mine included unfortunately, that a certain very important part of the system needed to be diversified "

Alan pulled up the next slide, the first page of the blueprint and turned around. This was going to be awkward.

"So, a brief overview of the system, for those who aren't familiar. As you know, in space there's practically no gravity, so you can't just...well, let everything go. Also, unlike earthbound toilets, urine and solid waste are handled separately. Different materials require different processing. Solid waste is drawn via vacuum through the obvious hole in the seat here..."

He gestured with a pointer stick on the projector screen as he moved through the blueprint.

"..and into a collection area which is then sealed, exposed to space in order to freeze-dry it, before it is ground to powder and stored for disposal upon return to earth. Now, urine on the other hand is collected via this hose, where it is then drawn through filtering membranes, and after being evaporated and condensed several times, you have water that is more pure than what comes out of your faucet at home. We can recover 98% of the water that is consumed this way, so it's important for mission endurance. The problem of course now..." he moved onto the next slide which showed the urine collection hose assembly. "How do you get the urine from the astronaut into the hose? Because while I might not be in possession of female 'plumbing', I know at least enough about it to understand that this " He pointed to the narrow funnel at the end. "Is probably not going to work very well for Jen, Mable, and Lily. So..." he took a deep breath and turned back to face everyone. "Any questions thus far?"

Emily sat silently, lips pursed, her face almost as red as Amelia's hair. The rest of the room had varying expressions that expressed disbelief and shock as they processed the issue at hand, with the exception of Amelia who was clearly holding back laughter behind the hand over her mouth.

Alan sighed. "I'm sorry. I know this is very awkward, especially working with me. For what it's worth, I was originally going to suggest that Mr. Jones give this to you." he gestured to Lucille, unable to read the look that the dark haired woman returned. "But he said that someone at my paygrade was required for the final sign off, especially since I've worked with the system before. I understand that this is dealing with a very personal and sensitive matter, but we need to fix this. This is for Jen, Mable, Lily, and every woman who joins the astronaut program after them. We can't let them down."

"Well you got yourself a right pisser of a problem now, don't you" Amelia finally said with a giggle.

The tension in the room immediately evaporated as Kira squeaked out a laugh at the comment, which then proceeded to work its way through the room as everyone appreciated the honest absurdity of the situation.

"It's our problem now, not just his" Lucille finally spoke up, adjusting her glasses. "And he's right. We're going to have to get over any discomfort we have with this project fast. Okay Alan. What's the overall game plan then? I assume we're not designing a new system from the ground up."

Alan shook his head. "The more of the old design we can keep, the better. It also has to stay usable for the male members of the crew, as there's only room for one in the space plane. The space allocated for it can't change much either. While each of you is a specialist with clear roles in this team, I want to hear input from everyone at every stage, even if it's not your area of expertise. We got into this mess because we didn't think of the obvious, so as an example" he looked pointedly at Ellen. "While we won't have any experimental data or results for a while for you to film, document, or hand over to Ginny for publication, I want everyone involved in every step so that when this is finished, you know the project backwards and forwards. We have to get this absolutely correct."

"I figured as much" Amelia said, stretching out as she stood and walking over to the coffee pot. Pouring herself a full cup, she glanced at the blueprints on the screen at the moment. "Okay. Alan, prepare yourself. You're about to learn more about what happens when a woman has to pee than you ever wanted to know".

Alan's heartbeat thumped. "I imagine that's the case. Anyways, opening up the floor to initial comments, thoughts. My initial thought was that the medical library might have had information regarding the most obvious problem with the current design. Fluid trajectory. If you can't easily control or predict the angle at which it's coming out, hitting a narrow funnel like that isn't going to work. That's how I found myself at the library yesterday, when I met Miss Simms. I had hoped it would just be a matter of redesigning the system in a way that could accommodate the angle at which urine leaves the female body."

Several of the women shared looks between each other before glancing up at him. "I hate to break it to you..." Ellen was the one who spoke up. "But there's no constant there. At all."

Alan grimaced. "I suspected as much. Now, I'm still not giving up on the idea that the library archives might have something useful, so Emily," he turned back to the new intern who seemed to have recovered slightly from the shock of the presentation. "I want you to see what you can find. If there's any other resources that you might have as well, whether it's the expertise of professors, classwork, anything that could be of assistance. If you're not helping Abigail, then that's what I want you to focus on"

Emily nodded. "Yes Mr. Bell. I understand."

"Great. So then, as I said. Open floor." Alan pulled out a marker and moved over to the large poster-sized flip pad on an easel. "What are the initial concerns you see in the current design that need to be fixed?"'

"Well there's the obvious one" Kira spoke up. "That funnel is too small if you have limited ability to aim."

"Great, starting with the obvious is good" Alan nodded, marking down the funnel size.

"That seat is going to cause...problems" Ginny said tentatively, clearly a little uneasy about what she was going to say.

Alan frowned. "Problems? What kind?"

Ginny blushed slightly. "Well, let me put it this way. Have you ever noticed that in the aisle for infants at the supermarket, there are different diapers for boys and girls? It's a question of where they put the absorbent material. For boys, it's more forward. For girls, it's more...downward? Even if you change the shape of the funnel, if the woman is seated to use the solid waste system, there's going to be no room to put it in the correct place"

Alan swallowed and wrote it down. "Okay. Seat redesign. Understood"

"You got more than just the size problem for the funnel" Amelia spoke up, refilling her coffee cup. She'd apparently chugged the last one since the last time she'd said something. "I hate to go into the nasty details, but peeing can be a messy business. It doesn't always come out straight. Unless that funnel is pressed right up against everything, we're going to have a risk of it raining gold in space"

"Building off of that issue" Abigail interrupted. "I don't care how close astronauts get to each other socially. I wouldn't want to be pressing something up against my lady bits that touched someone else."

"Okay..." Alan ignored the heat in his ears as he double underlined the funnel redesign point. "Then it seems that it would make sense to have the possibility of switching out the funnel depending on the user."

"That would also solve one other problem" Emily spoke up quietly. The room went silent and she blushed slightly as everyone turned to her. "Every woman is built differently down there, you know?" she shrugged. "It would make sense not only for each astronaut to have their own funnel, but for their own funnel to be designed specifically for them".

Abigail nodded in agreement. "That's an excellent point. This isn't going to be a one size fits all situation"

"One last thing I can see, that might actually be beneficial for all the astronauts, not just the women, while we're at it" Lucille interjected, the conversation within the room clearly now flowing. "The foot rests. Or, restraints, in this case? I see they have stirrups, so that whoever's using the toilet can hold themselves down right? Make them adjustable in height? Aside from making it easier to use the crapper, you know we all have our preferred squatting positions right?"

The entire time this conversation was occurring, Alan was scribbling along, making sure none of the concerns were missed. This was exactly what he'd hoped would happen. Getting past the initial awkwardness of the subject, the team was now in solution hunting mode, identifying everything that needed to be accomplished. Which, unfortunately, was a lot, and not all of it was straightforward to solve.

"Okay, ladies, this is an excellent start" he said, capping the marker after they'd discussed more about the previous points. "Going forward, now that we've identified the problems, we start thinking about solutions. Some of them are going to be simple design changes, such as the foot-rests. Lucille, I know you and I can handle that part now at least. Emily, you have free reign to return to the school as needed, unless Abigail needs your assistance with anything. The rest of you, we're going to start needing experimental designs, ways of acquiring data that Emily or the rest of us can't find. Ginny and Ellen, you're on note-taking and meeting minutes for now, whatever is needed to make sure we don't lose anything brought up, but if you feel like you have a suggestion to contribute, speak up. We'll break at 11 for lunch, then resume at noon.

The next hour or so of time felt productive. While Alan and Lucille worked on the redesign of the footrests, the rest of the group could be heard discussing intently, the low din of conversation occasionally punctuated by nervous laughter. As the clock hit 11, Alan gathered up the stack of notes and scratch drawings that Lucille and he had compiled and brought them over to Amelia, who was yet again pouring herself a cup of coffee.

"Seems I've got some work for you after all" Alan said, showing her the top page. "It shouldn't be too difficult to modify the existing plans for these. I just hope that the rest of the changes go as smoothly"