To Grandmother's House We Go

For his part, Hansel tried to surrender himself to the fire-hose pressure filling the various ducts of his genitals, but to no avail. He just couldn't come. His balls were throbbing painfully, without any hope of release. Mercifully, Nyx performed a another ippon nukite uchi, unkinking Hansel's vas deferens and unblocking the geyser straining within him.

When he came, his jizz blew Nyx's body clean off his own, like a champagne cork ejected from a bottle, and splattering the ceiling, walls and doors of Nyx's cottage with hot jizz and lovely lady juice.

"Damn, that was so fine." Nyx told her grandson as they lay down together. She lit a reefer and passed it to Hansel.

"What's next?" Hansel asked, not without with some trepidation.

"Hey, want to get a little kinky?" Nyx asked.

"If that wasn't literally kinky, I don't know what is. What have you got in mind?"

"We have to get your body ready for you to give your Uncle John everything that Uncle John needs. Same thing for Uncle Reamus."

"What do we need a story teller for?"

"No, you're thinking of Uncle Remus without the 'a', I'm talking about Uncle-Reamus, spelled 'Ream-us.' Get it?"

"Oh, I get it." Hansel said, "I got a feeling I'm going to get it a lot."

"You got that right, my grandson.,"

Nyx called out to an unseen audience. "Can a senior citizen get a retractor dance?"

Hansel heard the distant roar of a machine springing to life in the parlor.

Suddenly steel bands wrapped themselves around Hansel's wrists and ankles. A motor in the bedroom sprang to life and Hansel felt his arms and legs being stretched out of their sockets and his body being pulled tightly in the familiar spread -eagle Y position, so beloved by BDSM enthusiasts everywhere. His body was then rotated from the supine (sunny-side-up) position to the prone (ass up) position favored by cornholers both near and far. For the coupe de gras, Hansel's knees were bent and his legs spread, opening him up to he dark intentions of Granny Nyx, Uncles John and Reamus, and the mob of perverts that had somehow materialized in the foyer of Nyx's edible cottage.

Granny Nyx then went to the roll-up desk and retrieved the Squirtmaster 500 she had purchased earlier that day. "We need to get you ready for dear Uncle John," she said, flipping a switch to turn the infernal super-dildo on. A motor started up quietly but soon grew more intense.

"Hansie, we're going to start off slowly so you are not ruptured. Uncle John will just have to wait until you've been stretched enough to accommodate him. Same goes for Reamus. Did I tell you that the
Squirtmaster 500 has an attachment to stimulate the dominatrix as well, namely moi, while at the same time she is widening your ass. Pretty cool, huh?"

She plugged the aforementioned attachment, which was already set to magnum vibe, nine inches into her soaking wet cooz. She then adjusted the Squirtmaster 500 reamer to the beginner's setting, which was much thinner and shorter than the schvantzes of Hansel's anally-fixated and soon-to-be-gratified maternal uncles, into Hansel's virgin ass.

Nyx shoved said infernal device up to the hilt in Hansel's colon without warning, Hansel let out a gasp at the depth of this violation of the sanctity of his body.

Nyx began to rock the training dildo back and forth in Hansel's unprepared rectum. He called out in pain, but Nyx climbed on top of him, her huge breasts lying softly on his back. She stroked his hair and bent to take his earlobe into her mouth. "Shhh," she whispered. "Everything will be all right grandson. We've got to stretch you a little bit so that Uncle Reamus and Uncle John won't tear you apart. Do you want them to tear you apart?"

"No, Granny Nyx"

She ran her painted fingernails up and down Hansel's trembling naked back.

"Sssh," she said, and she flipped the dominatrix dildo switch to 'Max Thrust.' The infernal device, already embedded nine inches into Nyx's love tunnel, began to whine and hum and smoke. Soon it began to pound its way in and out of Nyx's well-practiced dark passage. Nyx pushed the SuperVibe button on the Squirtmaster 500. She reached beneath Hansel's chained body and grabbed his balls in her right hand and his phallus in her left. She began to pump his shaft as she silently gave his balls the Captain Queeg treatment. straight out of the Caine Mutiny Court Martial script.

Hansel knew he was getting close to another cybernetically-induced orgasm. That was something that he could not afford to do without the express written consent of Nyx and the National Football League.

Sweat began to pour down his brow. Nyx patted his forehead dry with a towel. "There, there, baby. Do you think Granny Nyx would harm her favorite grandson." She kissed his ear and ran her tongue sensually around its throbbing convolutions.

Hansel heard Nyx changing the attachment on the Squirtmaster 500, slapping it into place like the silencer on a Magnum 357. The air surrounding Hansel's wang soon began to vibrate even faster, attaining what Hansel suspected was a supersonic speed on each oscillation.

"Hey" Nyx said to her minions, "my grandson needs the full-treatment if he is to become a man on his vision quest.. I see a few un-penetrated orifices out here. Let's go people. Don't miss any opportunity. We've got to get this right, there are no do-overs here. How about you Big Mamma Kane? I know you can swallow a chuck roast in a single bite "

"I'm a little busy sucking Beulah's right hooter right now. It's a full-time job."

"What about you, Beulah? Surely you've got something better to do than nurse on Big Momma Kane all morning."

"Not really. Did you know that her breast milk is 80% malt liquor and 20% hard ginger ale? I mean that's a DUI every time the bitch gets behind the wheel."

"Well, be that as it may, I've got a throbbing, unsucked cock over here. This fire is not going to extinguish itself. C'mon people, I want everyone on anything that moves and nobody spills a drop of our precious bodily fluids. Get over here, Uncle John. Get on Hansel's twanger. His orgasm must be complete. Let no orifice go unplumbed," Nyx commanded her minions. Uncle John pulled Hansel's rock- hard wanger out from beneath him, revealing his tight, smooth ass and throbbing, turgid member. The trinity of Hansel's genitals was now exposed and vulnerable to the intentions of his sadomasochistic uncle.

Here we go again, thought Uncle John. Everybody's needs but mine. Obediently, Uncle John's lips closed around the helmet of Hansel's tumescent shaft. He began to slide his head up and down that mighty horizontal pillar and his tongue began to corkscrew around Hansel's happy pole, in way reminiscent of John's last encounter with Long Tall Sally, not to mention his repeated switch-hitter dalliances with Long Dong Silver, one of the idols of Supreme Justice Clarence Thomas.

The pressure was building inside Hansel and the other suckers, fuckers and buckers in the room, and there was a group seismic-volcanic explosion that likely set a new recorded for collective jizz expulsions in an edible house.

"Plug the other holes, people. All of them." Nyx said. clapping her hands and, and saying, "Chop, chop,"

Nyx's nephew, Porcupine Clem, climbed onto Hansel's face and inserted thick quills into Hansel's nostrils and ear canals, and began to pump each of these not-so minor fuck holes with extreme prejudice (to borrow a phrase from Apocalypse Now). In a few minutes, there were no longer any recognizable human clan members, only a pulsating blob of pink protoplasm, rivaling that of the eponymous Blob in the 1958 movie of the same name starring Steve McQueen. Said blob began to vibrate and throb in unison. The resulting throbbing-3,000 pound ostensible wad of well-chewed piece of Bazooka gum then exploded into thousands of apparent dandelion spores, which filled the air in the parlor and dining room of Nyx's gingerbread house.

The white spore parachutes wafted throughout Nyx's house and began to feed off the gingerbread walls. In no time the spores coalesced and metamorphosed back into the figures of Nyx, Uncles John and Reamus, Hansel, Gretel and. all the other celebrants lurking behind the current delusion. Many of the reassembled celebrants sported a lit postcoital reefer dangling from their lips.

Nyx took a long drag on her joint and passed it to Hansel. "Is it just me, or was this the best sex of all time?"

Hansel took a long drag on the proffered blunt, and said, "It wasn't just you, Grandma." He passed the joint back to Nyx, who fumbled her cell phone, which Hansel retrieved from the floor. He flicked it open and began to type in a text message.

Nyx tried to her phone away from Hansel. "What part of nondisclosure agreement don't you understand, grandson?"

Hansel hastily typed a final character and hit the send button.

He handed the phone back to Nyx. "My bad, Granny Nyx. Here you go. Just checking my stock portfolio."

"Well make sure it doesn't happen again. If it does, you know the consequences."

"Yeah, right, burn me at the stake, draw and quarter me. The same old, same old. Yada, yada. Boring,"

"You should read the fine print, grandson. It's bake you in an oven and eat you.

"You're never going to do it," Hansel taunted his Grandma. "Mom won't allow it."

"You've missed the last five family reunions, grandson. If you had come, you would know that your mom is no longer. She was brutally murdered in New Orleans two years ago, despite earning over 300 chains of titty beads. She was always a crowd pleaser, that one."

"Mommy dead? Oh no, Boo hoo. Who's gonna strap me down and flay me? Let me guess. You guys are." Hansel began bobbing his head and swept an arm over the eager audience safely ensconced behind the barrier of triply-reinforced super-Plexiglas that also served as a one-way mirror. The frenzied crowd began rhythmically pounding their fists into their palms and chanting "Hansel. Hansel, Hansel..."

SAVING THE WORLD

The house lights went black. Moments later, two spotlights came on, one centered on Hansel, and the other centered on Gretel, his long lost sister who had been missing for years. Both were stripped naked and chained . At the sight of Gretel's naked form, Hansel's well-exercised shaft rose in hopeful anticipation. "Gretsie, I never thought I would see you again. But here you are, the Gretzinator, the Great Gretsky. the..."

"Let's wave the reciting of nicknames, Hansie, Just the sight of you is making my cooz dripping wet. Do you know how long I have fantasized about you?"

"I too had such wicked thoughts about you, my forbidden sister. It is well past time to consummate our lust."

"Lust, lust, lust, lust..." the unseen crowd began to chant, delighted to recognize a term that fell within their limited vocabulary.

Hansel walked over to Gretel, who knelt on the gingerbread floor before him. She wrapped her trembling fingers around her younger brother's straining shaft.

Hansel swept his gaze over the unseen crowd lurking behind the one-way mirror walls that surrounded the amphitheater of Nyx's life-size gingerbread house. They beat their chairs rhythmically, chanting "Incest, incest, incest..."

"I think they want us to bone each other, sis," Hansel said.

"You think?" Gretel replied. "Then let's give them a show. It's the only thing that will keep us alive to bonk another day.

A third spotlight came on, revealing the figure of Bruce Buffer, the dulcet-voiced official announcer of the UFC. While a few janitorial types swept the blood and entrails from the previous bout from the gingerbread floor of Nyx' cottage/amphitheater/octagon, Buffer raised the microphone to his lips.

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is the Main Event of the Evening. Fucking out of the blue corner, Hansel Gingersnap, standing at 6 feet two and weighing in at 195 pounds This fucker has a wingspan of 6 feet 8 inches and is a specialist in the reach-around for grotesquely obese chicks.

"Fucking out of the red corner, Gretel Gingersnap. She is a mixed erotic artist. She stands at five feet 8 inches, with a wing span of 5 feet 10 inches. Her hooters fill a quad D cup, and she has a throat depth of 10 inches penetration. Her ass has been reamed to fit a 4-inch diameter cock.

"This bout has been sanctioned by the Black Crow Clan of the Otter moiety. The sacrifice of these brave warriors will insure that the People of the White Dawn will climb through the portal used by Coyote when he emerged from the underworld into the Land of the People. Their deaths will allow the People to enter into the world of the Sky Gods and rest at the right hand of Wakan-Tanka. Without their sacrifices the People would be trapped in this shithouse realm forever.

"Sacrifice? Did you say 'sacrifice?" Hansel said in a panicked voice. "I didn't sign up for no sacrifice."

"Sure, you did," Nyx said. Remember last year's Burning Man ceremony? The Opening of the Veins ritual? Not only did you sign on, but you did it in blood."

"But I was high on peyote, acid, 'ludes, ayahuasca and angel dust, not to mention four gallons of malt liquor."

"You should have thought of that before you opened your veins, grandson. It's too late now. A deal's a deal.

"Somebody get over here and chain these love birds together. In full deep coital position."

Two thugs came over and stood Hansel up. Nyx knelt before him. "It falls to me to fluff you, grandson. I will get you ready for your ordeal. Not that it's going to be much of an ordeal, when you are porking your sister, who is the most fetching and zaftig member of our humble clan."

Nyx ran her hand over Hansel's washboard abs. She lifted his magnificent cock and began to slowly lick her way up and down his thighs and over the highly-sensitive frenulum on the ventral side of his already rock-hard shaft. She lifted his cock higher, exposing his throbbing testicles to her merciless attention. She batted his willing balls into pendulum motion reminiscent of the colliding balls of the popular Newton's Cradle toy, which collided with each other on each iteration. His cock rose even higher, feeling the power of Nyx's total domination of him.

"Bring the wench here and chain her to the Fuck Table." Nyx commanded. "Uncles Ben, Sam, Fester, Vanya and Scrooge, get off your asses and help them. At that moment, Vanya's ass was posting up and down on Nephew Huey's cock, while Uncles Ben and Sam were taking the same ride on Nephews Dewey and Louie's shafts.

Somehow a foot fetishist had managed to break though the barricades and was eagerly sucking Uncle Scroooge's webbed toes.

Soon, Gretel was strapped into a spread-eagle position, her ass cheeks, cooz and throbbing clit exposed to rapt gaze of the Clan members hidden behind the mirrored wall.

Bruce Buffer came to the fore once more. "Before we execute this year's Sky Boy and Sky Girl, note that on Labor Day we'll be holding our annual Anal Lollapalooza over at the V.F.W. and on Columbus Day we will be having our bring-the-whole-family weenie roast over at Segundo Beach."

Hansel's cock sagged at the mention of weenie roasts, having too many bad memories of similar Clan events.

"And now for the method of execution. This year the top ten vote-getters were (a) burning at the stake, (b) drawing and quartering, (c) poisoning, (d) lethal injection, (e) garroting, (f) guillotining, (g), extra-crispy electrocution, and (h) this year's winner, gas.

At the mention of gas, Grandma Nyx jumped two feet in the air, clapped her hands together, and said, "Goody goody."

"I think she likes it," Bruce Buffer said to the assembled members behind the mirrored wall.

Not only did Granny Nyx like it, she was positively ecstatic. She was going to relieve her halcyon days at Dachau, Auschwitz, and Bergen-Belsen. What greater joy could there be than that?

She sniffed the air. "I love the smell of Zyklon B in the morning," she told the assembled multitude. "Put them in the oven." The crowd grabbed the pair of Sky Twins and led them into the room-sized oven of her gingerbread mansion.

Volunteers stepped forth to rechain and restrap Hansel and Gretel, aka Sky Boy and Sky Girl. Gretel soon found herself strapped even more tightly than before onto the fuck chair. Nyx carefully guided Hansel into Gretel. "A perfect fit," Nyx proclaimed, "as it should be between brother and sister."

"What do you want us to do?" Hansel said.

"I want you to what comes naturally," Nyx said. "My apologizes to Doris Day."

"You mean you want to fuck my sister again?"

"I mean I want you to fuck her with extreme prejudice. I want you to fuck her until both of your heads. explode. And here's the clincher. If you cum at the same time, the Zyklon B will be bumped into the injection chamber, and you will both be asphyxiated."

"You know, that takes most of the fun out of mutual orgasms," Hansel said. "I am, not sure if I can cum if it's going to kill me."

"You make a good point grandson," Nyx said, "but we have thought of everything." She stepped up and slapped a device onto Hansel's neck. He was almost instantly aware of his penis rising. Soon it began to throb, and Hansel was aware of a thousand electrodes snaking their way through his brain and into myriad pleasure centers in his cerebral cortex. His rod throbbed in anticipation of great pleasure. "What did you to me?" He asked Nyx."

"Don't worry, it's just the Methuselah staff. Its a premature ejaculation cure I bought on eBay It can increase a man's time to orgasm from 30 seconds to almost two years. It should be enough to get you through your ordeal.

"I'll still never able to last," he told Gretel. Nyx slapped a device on Gretel's neck.

"What's that?" Hansel asked the crone.

"They call it the ice breaker. It's a frigidity cure I bought on Amazon. It'll make your cooz dripping wet even if you have been deceased for many years. It's been a top selling geriatric aphrodisiac for over three years now.

Gretel felt herself getting wet, her clit throbbing in unchecked desire.

"Oh Hansie, I don't know if I am going to be able to last," she said.

"I've got faith in you sis. You can do it. You have to."

A chant rose up from the crowd, "Fuck her, fuck her, fuck her."

It looks like they want me to fuck you, sis."

"You think?" Gretel said.

"What part of 'fuck her' don't you get?" Nyx grabbed Hansel's ear tightly, with the full strength of her newly-acquired Dr. Scholl's titanium endoskeleton. She used his ear to force him to plunge his throbbing cybernetic banana in and out of his helpless sister.

"Hansie, I have dreamt of this with all my heart ever since we were torn apart from each other," Gretel said. But not like this. Not with the gas chamber, which kind of spoils it for me."

"Let's see if I can help," Nyx said, and she pushed two buttons on the clicker she held in her right hand, sending an intricate pattern of neural activity into Hansel's brain.

Hansel immediately began to thrust in and out of his hapless sister, with extreme prejudice as earlier commanded, although his trusts were involuntary and driven by electrical impulses activated in his cerebellum by Nyx's clicker. At the same time Gretel's love tunnel began contracting in waves, milking her brother's Kielbasa for all it was worth, activated once again by Nyx's clicker.

"This isn't fair," Hansel told Nyx. "You're not even giving us a chance."

"You want a chance, you need to hold the clicker, my grandson, and right now it's in my hand. She turned a dial at the bottom of the clicker, and Hansel's thrusts became faster and faster. The contractions of Gretel's love tunnel also became faster and faster. "I'm not sure how long I can last." she told her brother. "I think I'm gonna cum."

"Don't do that, Gretzie. Try to last a little longer or we will be fucked."