To Have and to Cuckold Pt. 01

Funny how women's minds work. The fact that I was willing to cancel with her to keep a date with my niece and nephew impressed her more than any extravagant date I could have thought of. That Saturday, she joined us

Did I mention Naomi's absurd sexuality that she exudes without trying? A pair of white shorts and a tank top that said "Hot Mama" in bedazzled lettering had the same effect that a Victoria Secret's model in lingerie has.

Trina took an immediate liking to her. The two of them formed a bond like they'd known each other since high school. Naomi talked more with my sister than she did with me!

I tried to play it cool with Naomi. I didn't want to give her the impression that I was some love struck horny teenager (even if I was). So I didn't act overly touchy feely with her. I kept conversation casual and light. I won her a teddy bear from one of those rigged games while I fought back the urge to punch the guy in the throat who was openly flirting with her. We ate ridiculously overpriced pizza and cotton candy. All in all, it was a nice day of hanging out without having that "on a date" pressure.

Did I mention that I HATE carnivals? It's actually the rides that I hate. Especially the rollercoasters. Up, down, jerking left, jerking right, upside down, dipping low and soaring high. Not too fond of them.

Well, Noami wanted to ride them and dragged me to every single one. Trina, knowing damn well how much I hated those things, smirked and waved us off.

"Have fun Josh!" She called out as she watched us make our way to the back of the line. The only thing I could do was glare at her.

I gritted my teeth and fought the urge to scream in octaves that would have Mariah Carey taking notes as I went through my personal seventh circle of hell. For the 3 minutes at a time I sat strapped in those death traps.

When the date was over and I dropped her off at home, she surprised me yet again.

"Josh, I want to invite you up to my apartment for some coffee, but I don't want you to get the wrong idea."

Of course I thought about having sex with her, but I hadn't actually had a plan on how to make it happen. I was content to go with the flow. I wanted it, but it wasn't a deal breaker for me. I was still on a high that we had hung out and had such a good time. I didn't want it to end on a bad note with her having the impression that I felt obligated to get laid.

"It's okay Naomi. We don't have to have sex. I just like spending time with you."

You would think that was the right thing to say. Somehow, I misunderstood her. She looked confused for a moment, and then a smirk came on her lips as she understood my gentlemanly gesture. But it was completely unnecessary.

"Oh no Josh, I don't think you understand. You see "coffee" is a female's code word for nasty sweaty sex. That's the real reason why I'm inviting you up. I like you a lot and I was actually hoping to lure you upstairs so that I can do unspeakable things to your body."

I know I looked like an idiot. This girl kept blowing my mind and I had no defense against her.

"So what's the misunderstanding?"

"I just don't want you to think that I'm going to be your girl or anything like that. I want to sleep with you, but I don't want a boyfriend."

Being the true gentleman that I am, I had to turn her down. I explained to her that sex is something special that two people share when they really care...

Are you fucking kidding me? You didn't seriously believe that bullshit, did you? I fucked the hell out of her. TWICE.

Sex with Naomi did not disappoint. She didn't do anything different or better than other women before her. She was just so enthusiastic about it! Sex with her was like a sport. A sweaty, pulse racing, pleasurable sport. When she sucked my dick, she went after it like a hungry bird goes after a worm. When she was on top, her hips were moving and gyrating in so many directions that it felt like she was attacking my dick with her pussy. I'm not going to even talk about hitting it from the back! She was slamming into me with as much force as I was slamming into her.

Even with the condom on I didn't last long the first time. I would say that I held out for a good ten minutes or so, but that's being way too generous. She was THAT GOOD. I don't even think she came the first time.

Guys, if you fail to make them cum the first night that you have sex, you can forget about a repeat. And I definitely wanted a repeat.

So there was no way I was going to leave it at that. Her disappointment was short lived. I dove between her legs and ate her to a leg shaking, head grabbing, eyes rolling, loud moaning orgasm. By then I was at back at full attention, so I hopped on her and gave her two more.

When we were done, I was done. I don't think I could have gone again if she fed me Viagra pills and I washed them down with Red Bull.

We both fell asleep. I woke up to total confusion when she was hurriedly rushing me out of the door.

I tried calling and texting her, but after memorizing her voicemail message and getting no response, I gave up. I didn't hear from her for another 2 weeks. Then, one day she sent me a text asking me to a concert that she won tickets for on the radio. I happily accepted.

Of course, things ended up in her bedroom later. And the living room. And the kitchen. You get the picture.

Once again the morning after found me hurriedly getting dressed and shoved out into the street.

+++

TWO AND A HALF MONTHS LATER - September 2005

"Josh. Don't be like that. Stop acting brand new. You know what this is."

I lay in Naomi's bed pouting. Once again, she was kicking me out in the morning. Once again, after not calling me or answering my calls for the longest time, she just popped up out of the blue and wanted to get together. After a night of fucking my brains out and making me squirt more times than any man should, she was treating me like the annoying guest that wouldn't leave. It was like I was some glorified booty call.

In her defense though, that is exactly what I was. The problem was that I was growing too attached to her.

I know I'm about to lose some of you. Knowing what category that this story is in, I can picture you guys groaning and slapping your foreheads.

Was I pussy whipped? Maybe.

I know, I know. I'm supposed to be a real man and not let some bitch jerk me around. I know that. Hell, I would have agreed with you a few months before. But Naomi was so different. She was intoxicating. She's the kind of girl that the more you are around her, the more you want be around her. The fact that she rationed her time with me didn't deter my feelings for her. In fact, it intensified them. Absence making the heart grow fonder and whatnot.

"Whatever Naomi. Look, you don't want to be around me, that's fine. If the only thing you want from me is for me to stick my dick in you, fine. I get it. But be real about it and stop jerking me around."

She rolled her eyes and gave me a "here we go again" look. In a tone filled with exasperation, she said, "I'm not jerking you around Josh. I told you that I don't want a boyfriend. You knew what this was from the get go."

"So what is this thing that we have going on? Am I just your booty call? Huh? I need you to spell it out for me kindergarten style." I wanted to put her on the spot. I wanted her to say EXACTLY what this was. In words, real words. Not assumptions and hints.

She blew a breath out and wiped a strand of hair out of her face. "Fine. If that's how you want it. We have sex. Good sex. I like fucking you. Apparently you also like fucking me. I don't know what more you want from me."

"You still haven't answered my question. What am I to you?"

She was cornered and she knew that blunt honesty was the only way out. Her face took on a determined look and her eyes locked onto mine's

"Okay Josh. We are friends with benefits. I like you a lot. More than the rest actually. You make me feel really good. But I'm not looking for a boyfriend."

Now, I admit to being a little slow at times. But within milliseconds I caught on to the phrase that hit me like a Floyd Mayweather barrage.

"What do you mean more than the rest?"

The fact that she didn't looked ashamed or repentant at all let me know that this was not a Freudian slip. She meant what she said, and she wasn't apologizing for it.

"I'm not the only one, am I?"

Her face did take on a look of remorse at that. Not that she felt bad for what she was doing, but bad that I didn't realize it and was hurt by it.

"No. I'm sorry. I thought you knew."

I gave her an incredulous look.

"Why would you think that I knew that?"

Hurt was quickly giving way to anger. I sat immobilized for a few seconds before I jumped out of bed like it was on fire and started getting dressed.

"Come on Josh! Do you seriously expect me to believe that I am the only one you are having sex with?"

The look I gave her said it all.

"Oh my God. Josh, I really didn't know."

I turned from her and I searched for my discarded clothes, which were strewn all over the place. I felt Naomi grab my wrist and try to pull me to the bed to sit down.

"Josh, please, calm down. Stop getting dressed. Sit down so we can talk."

I jerked my wrist away from her as I located my shirt. Ignoring her pleas, I clumsily pulled it over my head and around my chest. Next I reached for my pants that lay crumpled at her bedroom door.

"Come on Josh. Let's talk like grown ups."

"Go fuck yourself Naomi!"

She gave up and let me continue to dress. I didn't even look back as I practically ran out of her apartment.

+++

When she called me two nights later, I was calmer. Even though I still didn't want to speak to her, a part of me did. The weaker part. So I picked up.

"Hey Josh"

"What's up Naomi?" I answered flatly.

"Can we talk? Are you calmed down enough to have a conversation with me?" Her voice wasn't exactly brimming with remorse, but it was definitely devoid of bravado. She seemed sincerely contrite.

I wanted to lash out at her some more, but I really needed this conversation to happen. I had a lot of questions that I didn't have answers to. So I swallowed the bile.

"I'm good."

I thought I heard a sigh of relief on the other end. "Okay."

So we talked. She explained that she assumed that she wasn't my only sex partner and that I understood where I stood with her. She did tell me upfront that she didn't want a boyfriend.

"So, I'm okay to fuck, but not okay to be exclusive with?"

"Don't think of it like that Josh. You're making it out to be like something is wrong with you. But it's not like that. I don't want to exclusive with ANYONE. It's not just you."

"Why Naomi? What's wrong with being an actual couple?"

This ladies and gentlemen was where the rubber met the road. That moment in time when life tells you what you need to know to make the right decision. That one piece of information that decides what kind of future you will have.

"I enjoy sex too much. I love having it. I love the freedom of being able to have it with whom I want when I want. And while you are VERY good at it, I don't wanna be tied down with just one person. I'm sorry to put it to you this way. Every guy that I enjoy sex with brings something different to the table. Most guys think it's about the dick size, but that's not always true. I mean, look at you." (Huh) "You don't have the biggest dick, but you give me more orgasms than guys with nine inches"

"I don't have the biggest di..."

"Trust me. I'm not saying that you're small. Believe me, you are FAR from being small. But I can't lie and say that you are the biggest. Not like Jason..."

"If you finish that sentence Naomi I swear to fucking god I will hang up on you!"

"Sorry Josh. I wasn't trying to rub your face in it. I was giving you a compliment. You ring my bell more than most. If its any consolation, you have stayed the night with me every time we had sex. None of the others did that."

If I'm honest, that was some consolation. But it was like telling someone that they are the best looking ugly person, or telling a woman that she looks good "for her age". I didn't want to be the tallest midget.

"Gee Naomi. Golly! Well, I feel so much better now! So, because you like me more than the other guys that you fuck besides me, you give me the courtesy of kicking me out early the next morning instead of the night before. Well, when you put it like that..."

I could tell she was getting irritated with this conversation. But there is no way she could have been as done with this shit as I was.

"Listen Josh. I like you. A lot. More than the rest of them. But I can't be your girl. Now, I LOVE having sex with you. I get that you want more. I don't want to hurt you anymore than I have. So I will respect you enough to not call you anymore and ask you to hang out."

I don't know what I felt when I heard that. I loved spending time with her, but the pain of being with her and not having her wasn't something that I could deal with.

"I know that you're mad right now and I hope that you get over it. I would really love to continue chilling with you and hanging out; but only when you are ready to accept this for what it is. So I think that we should back off for a while."

Though I seriously didn't want to end it like that, I knew that it was the best way.

"Okay Naomi. Maybe you're right. Maybe we should cool it." I was finally able to choke that out after a few seconds. I actually began to miss her immediately.

Before she hung up with me she shot another cannon across my bow. "Just so you know, I'm giving you an open invitation to pick up where we left off. I wasn't kidding when I said that I liked you a lot. So even if I'm not calling you, I'll be hoping that you will call me. Take care Josh."

Then the line went dead.

+++

SIX MONTHS LATER - Early 2006

I hadn't talked to Naomi since that conversation. She kept her promise and didn't bother me. I did get an occasional stab in the heart when she posted something new on MySpace or when she responded to something that I posted. Don't ask me why I still kept up with her. Maybe I was a glutton for pain. But for the most part we stayed clear of each other.

I found myself both relieved that she was giving me space and hurt that she could drop me so easily. I guess it is easy when you have a harem full of virile men waiting to give you endless pleasure.

To say that I missed her immensely would be doing the English language a grave injustice. In the first weeks following the start of our hiatus, I didn't even want to go anywhere. I went to work and I came home. Anybody who has broken up with a woman that was everything that they could want knows how this feels. However, we weren't married and I hadn't fallen completely in love with her, so I was able to move on. Granted, she was a girl that I could easily fall in love with; she had that hard to describe and ignore way about her that was mesmerizing. It wasn't something that I could shake off easily. But I had some comfort in knowing that it wasn't me that she was rejecting. She wasn't open to a relationship with anybody. I did wish that she felt the same about me that I did her, but I accepted the fact that we just weren't meant to be.

So for six months I was able to put Naomi in the rearview and I lived life like only Josh does. I went out with friends. I hung out with my sister occasionally. I even got laid a few times. That didn't last long though because she was the younger sister of one of my buddies. After the inevitable altercation, I knew it was a safe bet I wouldn't be drinking any cold ones with him anytime soon. C'est la vie. In my defense, she was HOT!!

So when D day finally came upon me, it shook me to my core. That day that I walked into Starbucks and heard her familiar laugh from across the room resumed the process of my eventual undoing. Even with the low level buzzing of activity, I recognized the owner of that throaty laugh. My eyes scanned the room until I saw her. On the other side I found her sitting on a guy's lap happily chatting with a group of people. The bigger surprise was how I felt when I saw her. Even after all of this time, I found myself right back in that bedroom with her when she ripped my guts out telling me that I wasn't the only one who was keeping her company.

If I'd reacted quicker I could have made it out of there undetected, but seeing her on his lap froze me in place for a split second too long. Her eyes met mine and I saw a familiar smile emerge on her face when she recognized me. My heart started beating faster when she got up off his lap and meandered her way through the coffee crowd to meet me.

"Hey sexy. Long time no see." She practically sang when she stood in front of me flashing me that smile that could melt steel.

"Hey Naomi" I returned. I could smell her intoxicating perfume. That mixed with those eyes were like kryptonite. A slight glance in the direction she came from was enough to snap me out of the trance.

"New boy toy?" I inquired as I nodded my head over to the guy who was glaring holes through us. I guess I wasn't the only brokenhearted member of the "Naomi Club". She threw him an offhand glance, completely ignoring his venomous expression.

"Something like that."

I couldn't help but to laugh at how nonchalant she was being about him when just moments before she was on his lap like they'd been together for years.

"He may have different thoughts on that."

She snickered "You all do."

The entire time we were talking, she didn't break eye contact once. It's that thing that she does where she makes you believe that you are the only one in the room. It's hypnotic. I felt myself falling under her spell despite myself. I was almost ready to grab her hand and lead her out of there, but I caught the trap in enough time to pull free from the web.

"Well, whenever you break the news to him try to be more gentle than you were with me."

Ouch. The look on her face let me know that I hit a bullseye with that one. Her face went from seductive to hurt in a matter of milliseconds. Although I felt justified, I also regretted saying it. But I'd effectively broken the spell.

"I-I should get back. Take care Josh. It was nice seeing you again." She embraced me in a warm hug and made her way back to her boy toy. They had a brief exchange that couldn't have been pleasant, but she planted herself right back on his lap. Someone else in the group said something to her and she threw her head back in laughter. Just like that, it was like the last ten minutes hadn't happened.

Later on that night though, I got a text.

U up?

I looked at the screen for a few seconds and replied.

Yea. Wassup?

Wanna no if u can cum over

Y? I thought you'd be busy with that guy.

No. Not busy.

I didn't respond to that. I was about to put the phone down and go back to watching The Sopranos when I heard the chime again. I opened the message to the jaw dropping pic of her standing in the bathroom mirror holding her phone. She was completely topless. The message attached told simply said:

I really missed u.

My mouth dropped open when I took in those perky breasts. I'd almost forgotten how they looked. But now, all of my feelings came flooding back to me. I sat there at a loss of what to say.

The phone suddenly rang in my hand, jarring me out of my trance. No question about who the caller was. I looked anyway, hoping against hope that maybe it was my mother inviting me to church. Or maybe it was some telemarketer looking for donations for the Cleft Lip Children Association. But alas, if that were so, this story would probably be over now.