Tom and Crystal

They didn't get any further before bedtime, really, but he looked quickly at her credit card accounts, sorting them by payee and date, looking for frequent and repeating entries. "OK, some things kind of jump out, but I think we'd better wait for tomorrow and really go through them. The one good thing I see is that if anyone's using your card numbers without permission, it's either entirely local or very minor. Right now, let's get to bed." He stood up.

Crystal stood up, too. She grasped his arm so he turned to face her, and looked him in the eyes. She looked really anxious. "Tom—. I know I've made a big mess of my money. My cards are maxed out or near it, all the time. And you're really—um, careful about that. You're not stingy—I don't mean that at all. You're amazingly generous! And not just to me as your girlfriend, and not at all to show off. Mostly no one knows, and I only know 'cause I'm with you so much.

"But I can see you're pretty upset with me. Last night you kissed me goodnight, but otherwise you didn't touch me. It felt like you were being so cold! And almost as bad the night before! Is this where you get mad enough to dump me? Or to go back to putting on a show for everyone, to make them think we're together when we're really not? I need to know!" She looked like she was about to burst into tears again.

Tom was flabbergasted. It hadn't occurred to him at all that she might think that. He gathered her to him.

"Crystal, I love you. I mean it. I'm pretty upset, but not like that—it's just that I don't see how you could be spending the way you do. How could you be spending several hundred dollars a month on—it looks like—clothes and cosmetics and maybe jewelry? How do you have room to sit down or lie down if you buy that much stuff?

"We need to go through this mass of data in enough detail to pin down what's going on a little more than I can just by glancing through it tonight. I admit, I'm determined that you're going to cut back not just to spending less than you make, but further—enough so you can get those card debts paid off and start some serious savings. I'm not going to enjoy doing that, and you'll hate it! It'll be a lot like going on a strict diet when you've let yourself get a hundred pounds overweight. A tight budget is a lot like that! You'll be tempted to cheat, and you can't afford to. And we'll both feel like I'm standing over you with a whip, I think.

"Last night we were both dead tired, and I think we are tonight, too. I am, for sure. I needed sleep, and I do now. And I'd already made you cry. I was pretty sure you weren't seriously wanting sex—you thought you owed it to me, so you offered it. Was I wrong? I sure didn't mean to pull back the way you were thinking!

"If you can't or won't get your spending under control, I do think I'm not the right man for you long term. I think we can do it—but I really mean it'll be painful and unpleasant for you. I'm a little afraid you'll decide it's not worth it—and dump me. Not the other way around."

She hugged him and kissed him, hard. "Tom! I love you! If you love me, I don't care how much I have to do without! Just don't push me away! Please!"

They went up and got ready for bed. When they got in, Crystal went over and pasted herself to Tom. She took his hand and put it on her breast. "Tom, if I'm wrong and we find I'm not really ready for you, I still need you making love to me. Not out of duty—you're so gentle and caring with me, it shows me how much you love me. Please make love to me now, any way you want to."

"It's late. I'm really tired, and I know you've got to be too. So we won't spend as much time as we should—as you're entitled to. But it's not that I don't want you."

He kissed her, and stroked and eventually kissed and licked other areas too. After a while, she said, "Tom, please, I need you inside me now!" He pulled her on top of him, and she took him in. She was right—she was ready. It took a few more minutes, but when she came it was way above average. Not quite as spectacular as a few memorable times, but in that league.

She came off him and got some tissues for herself. She took some to clean him off, then apparently changed her mind. She used her mouth instead, but she didn't stop there. It took very little time to get him up again, and then she got on top again and brought him inside. "Tom, you set the pace, for your own enjoyment, OK? I've had mine for tonight. If I get another like that, great!—but that's not what I need from you." And when it came, it wasn't as good for her, but it was unusually good for him.

She cleaned them off again and nestled against him. He hadn't been exaggerating how tired he was. They were both asleep within a couple of minutes.

In the morning, after breakfast, they went into the lab again. Tom generated several different views of the data. He was teaching Crystal how to use the finance app, but at this point he worked very quickly without explaining anything. He pulled up his first listing.

"OK. Pretty nearly every weekday, you go to Tony's. For this one, I know part of what you do, because I've seen it. You order something to nibble on—that's something in the range of eight to twelve dollars, usually between a couple of you—and have a glass of wine, which is what? Seven-fifty? Eight or nine, when you figure tax and tip? That's what these numbers seem to say." He'd seen what she usually ordered—and paid for it a few times. "But a lot of times, you can see it's at least five or ten dollars more than all that can explain." He pointed to some examples. "So you've ordered what? More food? An appetizer or dessert for yourself instead of sharing? More wine?"

"That's pretty much right. Usually it's more wine, but sometimes the others are all sharing or having food for themselves, so there's no one to share with."

"OK. And you'll notice at this point I'm looking back at the period before we started going together. Since then, a lot of the time you're out with me or else here, even on weeknights—and either way I'm paying. Right?"

"That's right. But Tom, look at those totals for each month! They can't be right!"

He looked at her and sighed. "Crystal, they're right. They're directly from your charge card—and they fit the pattern, so it's not like someone else is charging your card at Tony's. You can do arithmetic—it's part of your job, after all."

"I use a calculator, or something else adds everything up for me—the register or a spreadsheet or something. But you're right. Let me see." She spent five minutes or so checking a couple of months' worth—using the calculator app on her phone some of the time. "OK, they're at least close, and I guess I have to believe the computer. I never realized I was spending so much there!"

"Some of your friends make twice what you do, or more, right? But I'm guessing they're always near being maxed out too—for sure some of them drink more than you do. Am I right?"

"I don't really know—any more than I tell them about my money problems. Probably."

"So. Occasionally you're—you were—getting a lot more at Tony's. Having dinner, I'd think. Is that right?"

"Right. It was maybe once every couple of weeks, I'd say."

He pointed out several entries, and said, "I'd say you're not too far off.

"There's worse to come, I'm afraid, but first let's finish this whole area. A lot of times, but nowhere near five days a week, you go somewhere cheaper, probably a little later in the day. Fast food, mostly. Takeout?"

"Yes. I don't much like eating at McDonald's or whatever—it's not much of an atmosphere, sitting there alone."

"OK. Let's add up all those places. Again, we need to stick to before you took up with me, to get a good idea." This proved to be more complicated. For one thing, while she'd almost always gone to Tony's to hang out with her girl buddies, there were several places as far as other restaurants went. For another, she pointed out that some of those purchases were breakfasts.

"That's another thing. All these coffee shop purchases. Donuts or pastries? Coffee?"

"Usually food, sometimes coffee too. I can get coffee at work, at break time. Or even before work, if I get there early enough."

"And all these bigger purchases, from Brown's. Clothes? Jewelry? What?"

"Some jewelry, some cosmetics, but yes, mostly clothes. And shoes and accessories." She looked worried. There were entries at least every month or two, sometimes twice a month. "There's an employee discount . . . "

"Crystal, I've seen your apartment, remember! It's not that big, and no really big closets. You keep it reasonably tidy—at least the visible areas. I don't see any big monthly payments to Your Closet or anywhere like that. Your place ought to be knee-deep in stuff by now, heaps everywhere. You just don't have the closets Imelda Marcos did. What's going on?" She looked blank. "Sorry. Way before our time, but she's proverbial—look her up sometime. Never mind now. Where's all the stuff?"

She looked even more worried. "You asked about cash, and I didn't even think of that. Fashions change pretty frequently. When I've been seen in something a few times, I usually sell it, either to an individual or more often to a used-clothing shop. Those pay cash, which helps, but it won't be in all the figures you're looking at. So some of my food purchases, mostly, came out of that—those won't show, either."

He said, "Some of the individuals must pay with checks, right? That must explain some deposits we're going to get to eventually. The resale shops pay you what, five or ten percent of what you paid?"

"I guess. I don't really keep track."

That reminded him. He dug into a drawer, finding the stash of pocket- or purse-sized ledger books he still had there. He no longer used them, keeping a list in an app on his phone instead, but he'd never gotten rid of them. He handed one to Crystal.

"Crystal, I really mean it. From now on, you do really keep track! Every penny, in or out!"

He took five minutes to show her how to write things in, so that at a glance they could tell which account was involved. No running totals, but she was going to enter things in the app at least once a week, preferably more often—for the moment, preferably every day she spent any money at all. All right, it was single-entry bookkeeping—but she didn't need more in her purse, and if she kept up to date with the app both sides would be done automatically. She wasn't running a business or anything like that, either, so it wouldn't be too complicated. She didn't even spend on that many different kinds of things, it seemed.

He was making a list—in a spreadsheet—trying to come up with itemized monthly totals of all these things. Average totals, really, since different months differed.

He looked at Crystal kind of woodenly. "Hon, there's one more big thing. Look at these—your credit card interest." She cringed a little. "At least you're not getting late fees—not since the beginning of last year anyway. Did you learn that the hard way?"

She sighed. "Yes. Twice. I—. I was heading toward the point where it might happen again, depending on how my paydays fell. But paying on time doesn't really cost any more—assuming I've got it—and the fees are outrageous." He thought she was heading for tears, again.

At that point, Crystal had a phone call. It was Dave—or rather one of his guys—saying her car was ready, and reminding her they closed early on Saturdays.

Tom said, "We need to break for lunch soon, anyway, so let's go get the car now. Then you're not dependent on me for transportation."

"Tom, I don't have the money for it, remember?"

He got up, grabbed her hand, and pulled her up. "For the moment, I'm covering it. But Crystal, this is going into that app as a debt that you have to pay off. We'll figure out how fast—later—but it will be just like your charge cards, except a fixed amount. I think I won't charge you interest—unless I have to keep covering things very long."

He hugged her, and looked intently at her face. "Crystal, I already said I don't have any real right—as your boyfriend—to force you to clean up your act. I'm going to, anyway. I hope it doesn't feel like Jim or Bud holding you down to go in your anus. My only excuse is that I love you too much to let you keep on the way you've been—and this is for your benefit, however hard and painful it'll be."

She interrupted him with a kiss. They went out to his car and drove off. After a moment, Crystal said, "Tom, I'm sure I'm going to be hurt and mad sometimes. It's not at all like that, though. What it feels a little like is Daddy. He was a—a cast-iron bastard who always insisted on his own way. But remember the oil light? He really was trying to teach me right and wrong—the things he thought I needed to know."

Tom returned to something he'd bypassed, earlier. "One more thing. I've only glanced at your supermarket purchases, so far, but they're tiny in relation to everything else. Don't you ever cook? Is every meal eating out or takeout you only eat at home?"

"Pretty much, I guess. I get toilet paper, paper towels, a few cleaning supplies, and so on. Dessert stuff and pre-made, bagged salads, things like that. Sometimes deli stuff, but that's really just another kind of carryout."

Her car was ready. To her surprise, they'd cleaned it inside and out. She was handed a maintenance schedule, with what they'd done checked off or otherwise indicated. She was startled to see brand-new tires, and started to protest that she couldn't afford them. Tom told her, "Crystal! Your tires weren't safe. If I'd been paying attention, I'd have seen it and said something before—and your car would have been in here without all the hassle."

The guy behind the counter went back into the shop and came out with a tire. "Look here," he told her. "This is admittedly the worst one. See how little tread there is? You must have noticed some skidding if you started or stopped suddenly, and problems steering accurately. Skidding on wet pavement. You need to get your tires rotated so they wear more evenly, too—that's on that schedule.

"But even worse, there were a bunch of spots—they're a little hard to find if you don't know what you're looking for, but we marked them." He pointed to a circle marked with—what else?—a marker. "Feel there. Push on it. The treads were separating from the tire body. You must have noticed the vibration when you started to get going a little, oh, probably forty or fifty." He looked at her. She nodded hesitantly. "Your tires were just about ready to start coming apart when you were driving. You're actually really lucky the oil light came on—given that you stopped for that.

"Your battery was about done for, too. Been having trouble starting it when it gets a little cold?"

"I sure have. But that must mean you put in a new battery, too? I can't afford it. Honest!"

"You can take it up with Tom. He told Dave to check everything and fix any real problems." He looked a Tom. "Dave said you'd be paying, and to treat it like it was yours."

"That's exactly right."

Tom got out his card and handed it over. "My thanks for dealing with a woman who was ready to collapse, and getting her safely where she needed to go, the other day. You guys always do a great job. We're working on her money situation, too. If I'd realized how bad things were here, you'd have skipped the tow. I could at least have checked her oil and seen it needed attention—not to mention the tires."

They drove separately back to his house. When they were inside, she said, "Tom! You know I don't have the money to pay you back for all this, and the perfume, and everything else. I'm already eating your food a lot of the time! What are you expecting me to do?"

"You can help a little more with keeping things up, between Juana's days. You're already making bedtime a lot better than it was—no, I'm kidding, that's not a quid pro quo!" She'd started to look really mad, and hurt. "Bad joke, and I'm sorry I said it.

"The perfume was a gift, pure and simple. You can expect gifts occasionally—I told you that—but they're at my discretion, not yours.

"One thing you're going to do is learn to cook. We haven't really gotten to it yet, except in general terms, but it's obvious enough you were eating out pretty much every meal, and you admitted it. That's another black hole for your money. We'll go over it and a few other things later, but I mean it. I can use more of a hand with cooking than you're ready to give, and sometime soon we need to restock the freezers.

"Once we've finished with your finances—well, you're not going to have much time to hang out with your friends any time soon. OK, I'm still being a dictator—but there are some things you need to learn. Cooking's high on the list, but maybe not at the top—we'll need to talk some. At the very least, you're going to take a couple of courses in basic car maintenance—the kind that will get your hands dirty. And some kind of self-defense classes. We'll start with the for-women kind, the kind that show you some things you can do if some guy tries to grab you off the street—but beyond that some, too.

"And I'm paying for all these. If you want something else—music or art lessons, say—that will have to wait until you can afford it yourself, and it'll be a while. For now, I can tell you that you don't spend anything without my OK. Once you've got your cards paid off and made a start on your car repair and other things you'll owe me, your budget will include some for yourself. Keep it up a while longer, and I'll leave it all to you."

He paused, looking at her. She didn't say anything. He finally went on, "You always have the same choice you've had all along. You can tell me to go jump in Lake Erie and refuse to keep going with me on the grounds I'm too bossy and controlling."

She said, "There's not a snowball's chance in hell of that! I know when I've got it good—and I do not mean the help with money or the car repairs or eating a lot better than I could ever afford before. Tom, if I'd really known what you're like, I'd have been asking you out on dates years ago! And probably frightened you off, making you think I was after your money. I wish I'd done it, before you ever started to get rich!"

She stepped up to him grabbing him into a hug and kissing him at some length. After that, she just stood there in his arms for a minute, head on his shoulder. Finally she said, "You were talking about lunch. And I really hate to say it, but we need to get all this financial stuff wrapped up."

"Oh! The very first thing you do is sit down with that ledger and enter the car expense. I'll start on lunch, but you can ask me questions. It's not quite like the examples I gave you—or yes it is, just not so obviously. I'll give you a hint: in one way it's just the same as paying with a credit card. But you'll need to add another account for it. Now come on."

Crystal sat in the kitchen and thought about it for a couple of minutes, making notes on a piece of scrap paper. She didn't ask any questions until she said, "I think I have it. It's exactly like a credit card transaction, except I have to add two accounts. One's for what I owe you—in money!—for now meaning anything you pay for on my behalf that I'm supposed to pay back. Subtracting anything I pay you, right? And then I need an account to say what it's for, in this case—call it 'car' or 'transportation' or something?"