Tonji 01

Tonji 01

I suppose if you call out "Tim" enough times, then I'll eventually turn around to see if you're talking to me, so just holler at me as Tonji and I'll say hello right away. And don't worry about talking to me. I've totally given up on asking people why I left so alone back in the day. It wasn't the best situation, but it had its silver linings to be left alone, but not pushed around either. I mean, I had to worm and weasel my way into literally everything, but thanks to some friendly and forgiving people in my early life, once I was there, I wasn't forced to leave. Well, I still think that a couple of guys owe me an explanation on why their side eyes were so burning, but I was never set on fire during any gatherings, so, maybe I'll just let bygones be bygones.

Not Matthew Milton, of course because that guy needs to confess something, but I think he moved to Wyoming anyways, so, be gone then, I guess. Well, I'll confess for him. Well, maybe I shouldn't. Well, maybe later.

Anyways, the truth is that I did and still appreciate those middle of the road friendly people from back then. And I want to say that it made my transition so much easier, except I'm not sure there was much to transition. I think it would be more of a transition if I were sign up for the football league. I mean, look at me, right? I'm a cheerleader, not a tight end, for Pete's sakes. Well, lurk and jerk over my selfies on Chang and then you can decide for yourself where I landed. OMG, just don't leave me yet another dick pix! I know what they look like, okay? (But I find the jerking vids, er, interesting, but that's all.)

So, then the last school bell rang, which was also the first bell of "finally 101" and now, about two years later, wow, some of those friendly and neutral folks from back in the day have a different idea of what it means to put me in the middle! Oh, wait, they were always terrible at geometry, so, they want me in the middle, but slightly offset to side so they can keep their man cards and then they want me upside down.

Nope, math class is over!

Well, once I forced a snuggle up on a couch with Patrick, but it was really quick and it was just to make sure that I was a good height for that, which I am and once I started an uncomfortable conversation with Bradley about how I angled things when I wore Denim shorts, but he insisted that I reach into his cargo shorts and give him his own personal demo. And just never mind how Matthew Milton and I combined fluid dynamics and a measurement class together once. I mean, that was last year anyways, so let's move on, you know, like Matthew Milton made a move on me and SOB, it was so easy and natural to respond to that!

Anyways, more about me today then, right, since I've made it clear that I was born as a boy, but quickly abandoned that for a softer lifestyle, right?

As I just tried to mention above, I'm of a smaller frame for being born as a boy, but I think I'm perfect for my current lifestyle and I just defined my height above with my sneaky and forced snuggle up test, so, in my opinion, I'm almost postcard perfect. And maybe I have put in the practice to curl my legs up and under me while lounging on a couch, again, which is something you can judge for yourself in my Chang selfies folder labelled postcard picture perfect.

My hair is dark, very dark, in fact and of a shorter style cut and it's very admittedly and clearly modeled after Miss Tamago's style. I like it and I think it suits me best and it's easy to manage, so, that's that.

I had an Ice Princess hair phase just after graduation, but that required a hairpiece wig, so that didn't last too long. A couple of people wished differently, but it didn't last too long.

Um, er, my facial makeup themes are just above pale tones, but well below goth vampire, although, I can and will go all goth if that's what the event requires. But for every day, I suppose blushed red cheeks are my normal. Not sunburst red, but leaning towards pinkish, I guess. And I have my days when I struggle with too much shine across my face, but I do work on that.

Anyways, I'm happy with my body, but my best description is that I'm slender and everything lines up with being slender. I have a decent under curl shape back there, but I wouldn't be too mad if there was a tad more of a pronounced under curve, you know, not a bubble butt situation, but just a tad more out and under, but nope, cheeseburger diets spread it around too much, so that's out. So, I'm just fine with being slender and I think that's that.

Oh, and speaking of diets, um, I'm not opposed to having sex and I've researched what those dietary restrictions are for cleanliness at its best, but I haven't had a reason to start juicing it up starting on the Wednesday night before and that's all I'll ever say about that again. Or for short, a few things, but not that yet.

Oh, so, clothing? My closet and dresser are full. I think I have the legs to go out without a couple of leg coverings on, but I don't challenge the rules much. Or maybe I should say that I don't push the envelope much, either way, I'm not a big skin flasher when I'm outside. I do have this weird thing about watching my favorite Tuesday night TV program in just my undies and a black corset, but that's my secret guilty pleasure and nobody has ever caught me like that, so, that's that.

Oh, tee he, speaking of challenges, tee he, I was removed from gym class for carrying around a tape measure, which I flicked open and closed as a form of a challenge, tee he, which I claimed the tape measure was a carryover item from shop class, tee he. Oh, for the record, that never happened! Also, tee he, I was never even allowed in shop class.

Anyways, that's me in a nutshell. And I already know that other people would have slightly different descriptions of me and my lifestyle, but I think that's the norm, right? So, that's all on them for only seeing me and knowing me from a bit of a distance. Well, those couple of guys I mentioned above have given me more of a fair shot and I thank them for that, but the masses, right? All they remember is the quiet queer over there at the corner table in the lunch room, right?

But what fixes that, right? Time. Post graduation. Common events. Mixers and parties. And best of all, a more forgiving outlook on life.

So, that's where I am in a nutshell. Oh, wait, sometimes I wear a black visor for fun and sometimes I wear a motorcycle helmet because I own a 650cc motorcycle and then once in a while, I will wear my entrepreneur's hat to make a quick buck and keep myself front and center.

So, I think up to this point, I think the moral of my story is that I have been known for like ever and that actually makes life so much easier for me these days. Not easier in terms of some of the more personal life experiences, but a lot of those awkward "meet & greets" are behind me.

Anyways, I do hang out on the Strip every other Friday night or so and my story starts there, about a month ago, the Friday night before the city of Middleton's sponsored Under the Stars Festival in late last month when there was a super full moon.

And a big shout out to Kerri, Merri and Terri for chipping in. They are not really related to my story, but oh boy, did they ever chip in or what? And these are their words, not mine, but frat party bunny suits draw a crowd. LOL, those were so my words too!

"Ladies, ladies, ladies, gather around the three little bunny hops and get a good look at the hair tinsels that they are modeling tonight! All you who just witnessed these fabulous hair tinsel extensions during the trending promo kickoff event for the Under the Stars Festival by Peacock Penny's crew of 68 petite promo Lil Ladies know what I'm screaming about, so, ladies, ladies, ladies, form two circles around the three bunny hops and get a good look, but don't touch the models, please."

Uh-huh, my voice, right? I've been working on that since finger painting class!

"Ladies, ladies, ladies, don't be seen at the Under the Stars Festival without a few strings of hair tinsel in your hair, ladies, ladies, ladies, we have discount coupons from the Hair Tinsel Shop on the Strip and ladies, ladies, ladies, they have iridescent tinsels, they have shaded translucent tinsels, they have solid tinsels, they have the glimmer, they have the shimmer, ladies, ladies, ladies, it's a ten minutes sitting and they have all lengths, ladies, ladies, ladies, form one circle around Bunny Hops Kerri, Merri and Terri, but again, no touching, so, ladies, ladies, ladies, snag your discount coupons now so you won't be seen at the Under the Stars Festival without eye catching glimmer gleaming in your hair, ladies, ladies, ladies, circle around and have a gaze!"

Uh-huh, I have voice recordings on Chang and you know, drop me a script.

"Ladies, ladies, ladies, the installation is quick and easy and you will like them way better than your money and I can promise you that (the removal not so much the next morning) but ladies, ladies, ladies, this is your best chance for you to get you glimmer glam on under the full moon as you mingle all about down at the Under the Stars Festival, ladies, ladies, ladies, step right up and snatch up your discount coupons and ladies, ladies, ladies, as a one-time added bonus, the Hair Tinsel Shop is offering matching iridescent Brazilian thongs that ride so high up over your hips that your boyfriend's will need a step ladder and don't forget the matching pasties and that includes a peek a nipple ring style also, so, ladies, ladies, ladies, the coupons are going fast."

Oh, my best friend growing up was a home Karaoke amplifier and a microphone. Tee he, those people who design microphones, right? The basic shape, the basic fit in the hand, tee he, yep!

"Ladies, ladies, ladies, smack it while it's hot, oh, a question from a customer who has realized that she has to have a few hair tinsels for the festival, um, yes, young lady with the long flowing hair that would razzle and dazzle under the light of the full moon that I do not know, what's your question?"

"[Hand raised] oh, I don't have a question about the fancy hair tinsels, Tonji, but I have been waiting for almost two years for an apology from you for how you practiced your girly boyfriend skills with the guy that I was dating at the time and for how there were a few places left behind with your undeniable lip gloss shade, so?"

Oh, well, I mean, that was before my dark hair phase and it happened to line up with an Ice Princess wig phase that I was living in and that's what drew Dale to me, so. And maybe my red lips. That I may or may not have highlighted in the selfie that I sent Dale, which only gave him something to do while Sara went shopping with her girlfriends, so.

"[Tee he], Kerri bunny hop, hook Sara up with a double off coupon for extra glimmer and shimmer to hair and um, oh, another question from a patiently waiting customer, who I do not know, yes ma'am, what's your question?"

"[Hand raised] oh, I don't have a question about the fancy hair tinsels, Tonji, but my boyfriend, who is going to need a new girlfriend right quick, just texted me and is inquiring about, um, well, has the Hair Tinsel Shop considered that some of us may need something else before we slip on Brazilian undies, hmm?"

Oh, the Hair Tinsel Shop thinks of everything!

"Ladies, ladies, ladies, personal grooming accessories will be available in the Hair Tinsel Shops Ladies room, Tina, and the shaving heads of the personal groomers just snap off and on for your cleanliness and safety, ladies, ladies, ladies, keep the lines moving, oh, one last question from a cash cow customer that I definitely do not know, so?"

"[Hand raised] oh, I don't have a question about the hair tinsels for tonight, Tonji, but my boyfriend, who definitely needs a new girlfriend now, just texted me and is inquiring about if the Ladies room has a keyhole for keyhole peeping videos as we lady's change into their overpriced, yet sexy Brazilian undies just after a quick trim job, so?"

Well, I mean, well.

"[Tee he], Hilda, I promise you that your leaked videos will not come from the Hair Tinsel Shop! Unless that's what you want, so, shimmy up in the circle, Hilda and get a good look at what some shimmer and glimmer in your hair will do for you and for your leaked "caught changing" videos and tee he, drop your hair forward to make your face a guessing games, so, ladies, ladies, ladies, snatch up those discount coupons from the bunny hops and be a glimmering star at Mrs. Bentley's official kick off tomorrow for the Under the Stars Festival, ladies, ladies, ladies, keep the circle gazing line moving."

"[Raises hand] ahem, Tonji..."

"No more questions! Grab a coupon!"

"[Waves hand frantically] ahem, Tonji, I don't have a question about the hair tinsels, Tonji, but my boyfriend, who might be looking for a new girlfriend since he caught me sucking off his brother and then his daddy and then his uncle and then his other uncle and then his grand daddy, just texted me and said that he would forgive me if you would personally manscape him a little bit like you have often described many times in your dreams blog, so?"

Well, that was not the Darla that I remember from history class! And the whole damn family?

Also, I have no such dreams blog.

"[Tee he], Merri bunny hop, hook Darla up with a double off coupon for extra moon light razzle and dazzle shimmering and I have never manscaped anyone, tee he, so no more questions!"

[Jumping jacks hand waves]

"OMG, Sherri, I mean, customer that I don't know, other than you're killing me here, what is your question about the fancy hair tinsel extensions, hmm?"

"[Hand raised] oh, I don't have a question about the hair tinsels for tonight, Tonji, but don't I remember my step brother, Randy, being all giddy once last Spring about a swimming trunks challenge where you were in the middle of a circle with a battery powered personal grooming tool and a tape measure and then..."

"That's it! The coupons are gone, everybody show up on time, enjoy your shimmering hair, enjoy the festival, the end!"

Sheesh! Sherri can't remember that I used to carry her books for her, but sheesh, she can remember what happened down at the swimming hole? Not that it ever happened just like Sherri remembers it, tee he, but sheesh!

"Tee he, see what happens when you open your mouth and let words come out, Tonji? When, tee he, has anything good ever come from that, huh, tee he?"

"Shush, Martin! Swoosie pays me well and will have a full shop tomorrow afternoon, so, shush it!"

"Oh, I believe that, Tonji, but listen, since I may have passed out the other night, I mean, what's our score and am I still winning, huh?"

"Martin, OMG, you have three phases of passing out! But since you passed out, tee he, we negotiated ourselves into the third phase, so, that's our score!"

LOL, Martin started to pass out when I agreed that I would help him dry off after his shower at my place and then his head fell back when I agreed to roll around in my bed while testing the theory that kissing and hand movements come naturally, but then he totally passed when I insisted that I would be allowed to hump his leg as much as I wanted to while smashing lips and groping things! Well, he actually passed out when I defined his leg as his upper thigh and when I described how entangled we would be. I mean, guys, right? They all want it smash face down, but offer up a little naked body entanglement and they freak out!

"Excuse me, coming through, excuse me, coming through, excuse me!"

[Pieces of peacock feathers flay about and fill the air]

"Tonji [gently slaps face], how dare you hide these three perfectly petite Lil Bunny Hop girls from me [gently slaps face again], Tonji!"

"[Coughs, spits out bits of feather, cough] But Peacock Penny, this was actually my plan since the Bunny Farm promo isn't until next weekend, so, I'm innocent! Also, that's as far as I'm getting involved since Kerri is my 2nd cousin and Merri is my 3rd cousin and Terri is my 4th cousin. Also, that's as far as I'm getting involved since I get sea sick quite easily, so?"

"Tonji [gently slaps face], well, this is where I would usually ask if one of them shared their love with you, but I guess that's out, so [takes back gentle face slap somehow], so, well, petite promo Lil Ladies come and they go, so, I'll drop it then."

Whew! That was a relief to hear since I had no interest in wearing a grey pinstriped overall uniform while being forced to work in the engine room of a cargo ship headed for southern Argentina, so, whew, I dodged a gang banging there!

"[Two bunny leotard spins] ah-hah, ah-hah, ah-hah, not so fast, Peacock Penny!"

"[Two bunny leotard spins] ah-hah, ah-hah, ah-hah, we did this for you, Peacock Penny!"

"[Two bunny leotard spins] ah-hah, ah-hah, ah-hah, figure something out, Peacock Penny!"

"Hmph! [Pieces of feather fly up as she slaps her arms in a crossed position] bunny hop #1, switch off your sheer tights for tight weaved fishnets like bunny hop #2 and #3. Er, bunny hop #2, drop the padded bra to match up all three of you together. Um, bunny hop # 3, does Tonji own ridiculously short shorts, from memory I mean, since you're his 3rd cousin."

"[Phone tap, tap, tap, photo found] ta da!"

"Well, who is his best boyfriend in the shadows then, hmm?"

"[Whisper, whisper, whisper] I mean, so?"

"[Phone tap, tap, tap, text sent] well, practice shaking your bunny tails, Lil Bunny Hop Ladies! The three of you having the promo opening next weekend at the Bunny Farm! And match up with red leotards!"

[A triple bunny group cheek and chin kiss on Peacock Penny]

Um, the Bunny Farm, folks, the Bunny Farm! The Bunny Ranch is different.

[Beep, beep, a SUV pulls up in response to Peacock Penny's previously sent secret text]

Well, I needed a distraction since of that happened where I could hear! Whatever happened to talking behind people's back, hmm?

"Jump in, Tonji, I'll drive you down the Strip to the Hair Tinsel Shop so Swoosie can pay you the paper that you earned tonight for rounding up some business for her."

The rule is that you never get into a running car with a guy from the Strip.

[SUV door opens, there is a slide in and the door closes]

"Hi, Luke, what's up, hmm?"

[Tosses a logo white visor across the front seat]

"Swoosie thought you might like to wear a white visor tonight, so?"

"What? Your step sister approves of this then?"

Swoosie did not provide Luke with a white visor since one of my blogs may or may not have clearly identified that as a sex aid. Well, not an aid, but more of a clue. Well, a hint, maybe.

[Fiddles with the logo white visor in the vanity mirror]

Oh, talk about making your dark hair seem even darker! Also, huh, we drove right past Swoosie's Hair Tinsel Shop! Which was closed anyways given the hour.

"Is this alright, Tonji?"

"It's alright, Luke, but no photos!"

Guys, right? They can't catch breath or speak properly when they are getting a blow job, but somehow, they manage to whip off a couple of questionable photos! Or so I have heard.

"Nah-uh, not the alley, Luke! The river, but not the alley."

[Screech, squeal, a hard left, squeal]

Well, it's nice down by the river, so.

"Nope, keep going, nope, don't park yet, keep going, Luke, nope, keep going, oops, park it, Luke!"

[No screeching since the lover's lane park along the river is a slow driving zone]

"Aha, aha, aha!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Luke, we just arrived and parked, so, first things first. First, I'm in a learning mood, so, we're doing this..."

"Aha, aha, aha!"

"However, ahem, secondly, I'm probably going to gag, choke and spit, so..."

"Aha, aha, aha!"

Guys, right? All that spitting, choking and gagging is half of the fun for them, right? Or so I have heard.