Torn Asunder Ch. 01: Fear

As I closed my eyes, I pictured Alexander. I could still see the intensity in his eyes, the pull of a smirk on his lips, and I could still remember that sharp, spicy scent around him. It made me hungry, for something more than food.

I felt a pang of guilt as I looked over at the door. It had been awhile since Mark and I had had sex, so feeling horny and wanting to take care of it myself wasn't unusual, but I had never really been one for imagining another man instead.

My hand drifted down to the edge of my underwear, grazing along the band as I turned over onto my back. I heard the toilet flush across the apartment as I inched my fingers below the fabric and slid them across my pussy lips. I gasped a little as I realized they were already a little damp.

Mark would be heading back to his game, which meant he'd be wearing his headphones, and he wouldn't hear anything that came from here - so long as I was quick, he probably wouldn't be looking to invite himself in.

As my fingers slowly grazed over the fine pubic hair that I kept meticulously trimmed, I fumbled at my nightstand drawer, looking for my faithful vibrator, before I remembered that the batteries had died a few nights ago and I hadn't been able to replace them.

"Dammit," I muttered to myself as I settled back against the pillows.

Honestly, I didn't need to worry too much about the lack of vibrator - I was already wet, and all I needed was a quick orgasm to make the thoughts go away.

I brushed past my clit and my hips spasmed in response as I nearly cried out, my lust getting the better of me. I clapped my other hand over my own mouth and imagined it was Alexander who was here, Alexander's strong hands on me, Alexander's finger dipping inside me and barely skimming past my g-spot, trying to get me to come for him.

I could almost hear his voice, "Not yet..."

I whimpered into my own hand as my other one took on a life of its own, slowly building pressure and speed as it caressed my clit, even though I wanted something fast, rough, and dirty. It was as though I knew he'd take his time with me, play with me, torture me. I arched my back as sensations rippled through me and pulled my hand away from my mouth so that I could thumb my erect nipple, pinch it, pull it...I twisted and the burst of pain nearly made me cry out again, but I clenched my teeth hard against the sound and only a low moan escaped.

My other hand, Alexander's hand, drove two fingers into me, hard, and then it did it again, and again. I bit my lip as I breathed heavily, but I couldn't quite get there this way. The angle wasn't right. I groaned quietly in frustration as my fingers resumed their attention on my clit, found the sweet spot, and drove me towards the inevitable.

"Please..." I whispered quietly into the dark.

Alexander's voice, that sharp bite of whiskey, spoke firmly in my imagination at just the right moment: "Come for me. Now."

I buried my face in the pillow, trying to be quiet, trying to be absolutely silent, as the climax ripped through me and left me gasping and shaking.

After a long moment of hard breathing, I removed my wet fingers from between my thighs, and stretched languidly as small aftershocks pulsed through me. That was obviously long overdue.

I stood up and slowly made my way into the ensuite. My legs felt a little weak, hell, everything felt a little weak. I washed my hands and brief moments of my fantasy flashed in my mind, sending little notes of pleasure through me. I bit my lip, shook my head, and smiled at myself in the mirror, as I turned and made my way back to bed. Work was going to be interesting.