Touching Myself, Thinking of Her

It was Saturday morning and I was alone in my apartment. My roommate was gone for the weekend. So I made myself a cup of coffee and went up into my bedroom. I thought about Leila, a woman from my past. The thought warmed me. It made me feel less alone.

The coffee was still steaming. I imagined that Leila was sitting on the bed behind me. I thought about all of the times she put her hands all over me, and I wished she was there to touch me in that moment.

It was snowing outside. I imagined myself being out there, covered in it. I moved my hands under my shirt and rubbed them over my nipples, and they became hard. It felt nice, and I could see goosebumps forming over my arms. I laid down on my back, and continued rubbing my chest. I imagined being naked and outside in the snow. It would be freezing, but the thought was kind of hot.

It's ok to be alone, I thought. All of us are alone sometimes. But I wouldn't let that stop me from making love. I would make love to myself, with thoughts of Leila surrounding me.

I rubbed my hands over my shorts, and I felt that I was already hard. So I slowly began to rub myself through my underwear, first at the tip of my penis and then slowly all the way down its length.

I closed my eyes and rubbed my cheek against my pillow. It was soft, and I pretended that it was Leila's cheek against mine. I wanted to be touched, needed to be touched. I needed the warmth of another person's hands on my body. So I removed my shirt, and began to rub my chest. In my mind, it was Leila who was touching me.

I turned to my side and ran my fingers over my butt. My fingers were cold, but I knew they would slowly warm up as I touched myself more.

I wanted to be totally naked, so I stripped off the rest of my clothes and laid back on the bed, totally bare. I loved the feeling of being naked. It was liberating. I peeked through my bedroom blinds and I saw the neighbor across the alley. I felt as if my nudity was a secret.

I laid down on the bed again. My penis was totally hard and sticking straight up. I closed my eyes and continued to rub my chest and arms. "Leila," I whispered, "I want you to touch me. Rub your hands on my body. Please, baby. You know I love it."

I ran my fingers up my chest, over my neck, and into my hair. I moaned softly, then planted a soft kiss on my shoulders and arms. "Leila, baby. Do you see what you do to me? You make me so hard. I'm hard for you."

Then I ran my hands back down my body and over my penis. I cupped my balls in one hand and lightly stroked myself with the other. I softly pulled my balls and stretched my penis, and slowly stroked myself from the tip all the way down to the base. I longed for the days when she would say naughty things to me. "You're my freak," she would tell me.

"I'm your freak. I love being a freak for you," I said. I was so horny now, and I could feel the orgasm slowly building in my lower body. "I want to be your freak, now and forever. Let me be your freak, baby."

I wrapped the blanket around my penis and began to hump myself with it. The softness of the blanket felt so nice against my skin. I pushed my hips forward each time, as if I was humping Leila right there in my bedroom.

"Ride me, baby," I said. "Ride me until you come."

I moved the blanket all the way over my body and up to my chin. I continued humping it as if nothing could stop me. My eyes were closed and my breathing grew heavier. I let out a series of loud moans. "I love you, sweetie. You're my baby," I said. "Ride me, baby. Ride me until we both come."

I felt the goosebumps move all over my body. I knew that I wouldn't last much longer. I threw the blanket off of me, grabbed my penis with both hands, then pumped myself until I had reached the edge. "Yes, oh God yes. I'm coming. I'm coming inside of you!"

And I felt my load shoot out of me and all over my stomach, chest, and up to the bottom of my chin. I even felt a small bit land in my mouth. I continued moaning and breathing as I came, until the orgasm faded and I lay there feeling spent. I rubbed my hands over my body and softly massaged my cum into my skin.

After awhile, I curled up onto my side, still feeling wet and sticky from my own orgasm. I laid there, still thinking of Leila, still wishing she was on that bed with me. I slowly fell into a mid-morning nap, with the blue light of the sun shining through my blinds. I wondered if she still thought of me that way. I wondered what she was thinking of in that moment and if it was close to the things I thought about her.