Transformation Ch. 02

"No Dear, You are still way ahead. Now I must leave you for a little while. I must go down to the chapel and thank God for answering my prayer."

Within a few months I was back on my feet and walked with only a small hitch in my get-along. I was eager to start running again but was told to wait another month before I started any high impact exercise. I had gained a couple of pounds and was having trouble getting them off.

Susie had signed a contract to do a morning hour long show for a major network. It would be done before a audience here in town. Most guests didn't mind spending a day or two in sunny Florida at the networks expense. It was actually cheaper than putting them up in New York. Susie had her own small studio at a local station, actually it was the same station she had worked at before. I didn't like it one bit because she would not be able to avoid seeing Don again. I said nothing except to ask her if she had any problems with that situation. She thought for a second and said she was alright with it. I asked if I needed to worry about it. She kissed me and told me she would honor our vows and our agreement.

I held her tight and said, "I will not worry about it then, but I beg you to keep me up to date. OK?"

"Darling, I tell you everything, I have nothing to hide."

"So, your first show is tomorrow morning, can I come and watch?"

"I would really love that, I love it when you are there. I feel much stronger and more comfortable when I know you are there. I draw from your love. I can feel it when you are there for me."

"I will be there as often as you want me there. I always watch you when you are on, it is not the same though."

I sat in the back of the audience. Before the show started Susie came out in the audience and took my hand and led me to an empty seat in the front row. She kissed me and looked at the audience and the stage crew. "This seat will always be reserved for my husband. If he is not here it will remain empty."

The show was really great, I should say Susie was really great. She was herself as she interviewed her guests. One of them was a famous fisherman, Flip Pallot. She elicited his opinions on how he felt the saltwater fishing resources were being protected world wide. He gave a pretty bleak outlook if a lot more restrictions on commercial fishing were not put in place and enforced. The head of the Environmental Protection Agency was introduced. Susie gently raked him over the coals for not more aggressively pursuing stronger treaties with other nations. The audience loved it. The fisherman and the EPA chief got in a pretty heated discussion. Susie kept control so each got equal time to state is case.

Susie stood and looked at me. "Please come up here and tell us how you feel about this. Ladies and Gentlemen, let me introduce James Murphy, he has fished Florida's coastal waters all his life. He is a wonderful fisherman. I know because he is also my dear husband."

I walked up on the stage and a chair was brought out for me. I was a bit nervous. Susie smiled at me. That settled me down. She asked what I thought about the fishing situation.

"First let me say hello to your guests." I stood and shook hands with the EPA guy, I turned and said, "Good to see you again Flip."

Susie looked at me. "I didn't know you knew each other."

Flip grinned, "Jim is famous among fishermen in Florida. He taught many of us how to do it properly."

I gave my opinion on the state of the fish population. I happened to be familiar with the statistics that showed the declines in the stocks of fish were caused by commercial over fishing. Only a very small percentage of the fish landed were taken by sports fishermen. I said that I thought that some of the fish populations that the world relied on for food would be almost if not totally eliminated within several years. That would increase the pressure on other fish populations. I added that with the rapid improvements in fish catching methods, the seas of the would could be totally barren of fish if restriction were not put in place and enforced very soon.

The EPA man said he thought the situation was under control.

I interrupted him and Susie stopped me. "Let him finish, Jimmy, you will have your turn," she smiled. When he was finished, Susie looked at Flip, Would you like to comment now?"

"No. I will wait to hear what Jim has to add."

She laughed, "He is a little hot under the collar. Go ahead now Dear."

I had to laugh too! "Ok, sir, I just want to remark that every marine ecology in the world is under stress. Some have already been virtually destroyed already. All the figures show that most countries have very weak fishing regulations or cannot enforce the ones they have. Most commercial fisheries are regulated by the very people who are the worst abusers. The places where fish are protected by realistic bag limits and slot sizes are finding greatly improved populations. Listen to the fish biologists and oceanographers. I know you face tremendous political pressures from these same commercial interests, but think of what we will all face when there are no fish. Millions will starve. Economies will fail. This is so interwoven in today's fabric of life and economics it will be a disaster of unheard of proportions. It is not far off. Now I will get out of your hair and return to the audience."

Susie said, "No, please stay." The audience applauded for a long time. After a little more discussion Flip and The EPA guy left. Susie's next guests were Country Music stars, Faith Hill and her husband, Tim McGraw. They were an interesting couple and I really enjoyed chatting with them. There was a lot of audience participation. I enjoyed that to even when I had to field questions about Susie and our age difference. I answered that, yes, I was old enough to be her father. I said the only person my age mattered to was Susie and that so far it didn't seem to matter much.

Susie blushed and said, "He is young enough for me. He has always been up for anything I want to do." Then realizing what she had just said she covered her face with her hands. She started giggling then put her hands down. She wiped her eyes and said, "Well it's true."

After the show the producer said her wanted to talk to me for a while. I kissed Susie and told her I would meet her at home. The producer told me that I was very good on the show. He wanted to know if I would consider being a regular on the show. I told him I would talk it over with Susie. We talked for about an hour. I headed for the parking lot and saw Susie's Town Car was still there. I turned around and went to her office. The secretary look startled when I walked in. I was at the door to her office when she said "Please don't go in there." I put my hand on the knob and the door was locked. I looked at the girl, she was franticly pushing the intercom button. I stepped back and threw myself at the door. It crashed open. Susie and Don were standing close together. Her blouse and jacket hung open, her bra was pushed up over her breasts. Her skirt was rucked up around her waist.

I froze. He started for the door. I pointed at him. "Don't you move a hair. Stay like you are." He was scared to death. Susie tried to say something. I screamed, "Shut your lying mouth." I stood and tried to get my breath. Neither of them moved. I got a hold of my self. I looked at my wife. She was crying. "Take off your panties and give them to me." I turned to him, "Do you love my wife? Do you want to marry her and raise her two kids?"

He stammered, "I don....I guess....I think... I'm really sorry.."

I took the panties from Susie. The were very wet. Warm and wet. I threw them to Don. "Here is your trophy. You earned it. Now I will give you five seconds to get out of here before I do something we will both regret. Get!"

He ran.

I turned back to Susie who was weeping. "Shut the fuck up. Have your girl call in the morning and I will tell her when you can send someone for your things." I reached down and ripped the wedding band off my finger. It fit tightly and most of the skin on my knuckle came with it. I threw it on her desk. "Here I won't need it any more." I turned around and she said "What about the girls?"

"I'll tell them you decided you don't want to be their Mommy any more. That is correct isn't it?" She dropped to her knees, sobbing. I turned and walked into the door jam. It almost knocked me down. I couldn't see for the tears in my eyes. I wiped my left hand across my eyes and the blood from my finger made it worse. I took out my handkerchief and wiped my eyes with it, wrapped it around my hand and left.

Savanna Lambert called me the next morning. "Jim, can I talk to you for a little bit?"

"I always have time for you dear. What can I do for you?"

"Susie is up in our spare room crying her heart out."

"What has that got to do with me?"

"Jim, she told us what happened. She made no excuse. I am afraid she is in a self-destructive mood. I have never seen anyone so despondent. She says you told the girls she doesn't love them anymore."

"I have not told them anything except that she had to work early to day. They are not stupid. They know something is wrong."

"She is afraid you will never let her see them again."

"That was my original inclination, I wanted her to have to get a court to order me to let her see them. I don't know that I can do that to the girls. Our divorce will devastating enough for them. Our lawyers can work it out."

"Oh! Jim, don't do that, Susie really loves you. She truly does. She wouldn't let the guy screw her. She says when he touched her she knew she could never do that. She was trying to get him off her when you got there."

"S'vanna I know you love her, and I know I will always love her too! She pledged to me a few months ago that she would never see him again, never communicate with him in any way. I saw her break that promise. She broke her vows and she broke my heart. How can I ever trust her again. How can I be sure she won't run off with the next young buck with a big cock. Oh! 'Vanna I apologize for my language. Please forgive me. Sob, I'm sorry!" I was crying so hard I dropped the phone.

I sat in the den with my girls on my lap. I hugged them and kissed them. They wanted to know why I was crying. I told them I was just a little upset. They wanted to know if Mommy couldn't help me. I said no she couldn't, I wanted to tell them why but I didn't. Sigrid put them down for their naps and I called Savanna back. She wanted to know if I wanted to talk to Susie. I asked if she hadn't gone to work. She told me Susie had called in and quit the show. She said Susie told them she hadn't cashed any of their checks and would tear them up.

"What are you going to do Jim? We know this is killing you."

"Yeah! I really don't know what to do, I think the kids need her more than they need me, they are very upset about her not being here. I think I will give her the house and an allowance and move to California or Mexico. Or maybe Brazil."

"Jim, please wait before you do anything. But please don't go to California."

"Why not?"

"That is where Don went."

"What?"

"Yeah, Fred Logan fired him. Told him he had been warned about trying to seduce every woman he saw. Susie said Fred told her he would take her back in a heartbeat. He also told Don if he didn't go directly to California he would blackball him out of the industry."

"So when is Susie leaving for California?"

"My guess that it will be about the same time hell freezes over. Jimmy Dear, The girl loves you. I know she does, I wouldn't say it if I wasn't positive. Do you know she said she was so proud of the way you handled him. She said she was afraid when you broke the door down you would kill them both. She said she couldn't blame you if you did. She said the hardest thing she has ever done in her whole life was to hand you her panties. She said that almost killed her."

"Savanna, girl, what can I do. I do love her. I know I will not live long with out her. I tried that before and I love her more now than I did then. And the girls, I know I will never see them again. Yet, how can I forgive her? How?"

"Just don't do anything right now. Let her visit the girls. Let things work themselves out. Please do that for me. Please, Jimmy, please! Jason and I love you both. Please!"

"OK, tell her she can come in the morning at ten and stay with them until ten the next morning. Is that OK? It is the best I can do for now."

"That is a start."

"Savanna, I love you, and Jason too! Promise you guys will look after Susie and the kids. Promise?"

"No! No way, you are not getting off that easy. If you love Jason, Me, your wife and girls, prove it. Don't run away again. Stay and fight for them, they are worth it. Please Jim."

"I'll think on it. I promise I will not leave you and Jason hanging, I promise to keep you informed. Good bye!"

I was long gone by 10 o'clock in the morning. I drove to the coast. I looked for Susie's stepfather. I was informed that he was near death in a hospice near by. I decided to go see him. Surprisingly he recognized me. He asked about Susie. I told him we had two little girls. He said he was happy to hear that and that she was always a good girl. I told him we were having a rough time right now. He said, "Susie will always do the right thing if you let her have her way. She is a real jewel. Never knew her to do anyone wrong."

I told him good bye and drove up the coast a ways. I found a little seaside resort and checked in for the night. The next day I had a nice breakfast I couldn't eat, and headed home. I knew I really didn't have a home anymore, just a house. I called home and Sigrid told me the girls were in preschool and that Susie was sending someone for some of her things about noon. She said she had shopping to do.

About one in the afternoon the door bell rang. I opened the door. A really good looking woman stood in the door. She stood eyeball to eyeball with me. My eyes dropped down her body as she said she was there to pick up some things for Mrs. Murphy. She had huge breasts, a tiny waist and really lush hips. Long legs on stiletto heels. Damn she was hot. I invited her in. I asked if she would like something to drink. She said she would love a wine cooler. I sat next to her on our couch. She slipped even closer to me. I leaned over close to her. I showed her two one hundred dollar bills. I whispered, "Are you wired." She grinned and her eyes widened. She nodded and took the bills. She was suddenly wrapped around my body. I said, "Damn you are beautiful, the most beautiful and desirable woman I have ever seen, give me a kiss." I made slurping noises. She was grinning now. She said wine made her hot. I said, "I would dearly love to look at your lovely breasts, may I?'

"Sure, honey go ahead. Suck on my tities. I love that. Mmmmmm!" Her hand rubbed up and down my erection through my jeans.

"I can't get enough of those big hooters dear girl. Please let me fuck you now before she gets home." I handed her another hundred dollar bill. She said, "Oh! Yeah, just shove it right in there." I grunted over and over and heard her say, "Oh! Yeah, damn you are good, fuck me hard, fuck me deep." I kissed her on the lips and grinned at her. She said "I've got to go." and went out the door. She was a really hot girl. It was as much fun as I had with all my clothes on in along time.

I was sitting in the den when Susie walked in with Sigrid and the kids.

"Hi! How was your day?" she said. The girls ran to me and kissed me. I hugged them hard and paid it no mind when they were ushered off to bath and bed.

Susie sat next to me and asked how my afternoon was. I said wonderful, "The girl stopped by and got all the rest of your stuff."

"Oh! Bridget, from the office. She is nice." Susie reached out and rubbed her thumb along my lower lip. She looked at it. Then she looked at me. She turned and walked away. I went down the hall after her. She had gone in the bathroom. I could hear her sobbing inside. I wanted to rush in and comfort her, to tell her nothing had really happened. I didn't. I went back to the den and stared at the TV. She was back in a few minutes. She said, "Did you like Bridget? I think she is nice."

"She sure is. I am tired and need to go to bed."

"Can I stay the night?"

"Why would you want to do that?"

"So I can be near the kids in the morning."

"Sure, you can sleep in the big bed in their room. 'Nite."

I lay awake in bed for an hour or so. Then I heard her tip toeing down the hall. She stood and looked at me for a long time. I heard her sniffle. I pretended to wake up. I said "Come here." She walked to the side of the bed. I reached up for her and pulled her head down and kissed her forehead. "There." I said, "Good night." And I turned away from her and closed my eyes. I could hear her softly crying and almost pulled her down to me. Then I remembered the scene when I broke down the door. I knew I would soon forgive her but I didn't want it to be easy for her.

The next morning Sigrid and Susie had breakfast for me when I got up. I carried a pair of suitcases when I came out. I put them by the front door. "Good morning Sigrid, how are you this morning?" She looked at me with tears in her eyes, "Are you going somewhere , Sir?"

"Yeah, I think it is time. Susanna, Here is a check book, go see Mr. Thomas at the Bank America branch down by Publix and sign a signature card. There will be Five thousand dollars deposited each month on the first. The electric and the phone and cable are all you need to pay for now. If you get a bill for anything else call Jason if he has not already called you. Got it?" She was staring at me as if I had hit her in the stomach. Her sweet little face scrunched up and she dropped to her knees and sobbed. "Please don't leave us, Please, Please."

"Susie, I love you with all my heart, I think you know that. I just don't trust you anymore. I think one more time will kill me. I will sorely miss you and the girls. I don't expect to ever get over that. Kiss them for me and tell them I love them." Tears were running down my cheeks now. She stood up and looked at me. "How can you do this to them? They love you."

"You will find a replacement pretty soon I think."

I saw the fire in her eyes then. "You Bastard, it is alright for you to screw Bridget, then you act like nothing happened while you treat me like dirt over a little kiss or two. Oh! I was totally wrong. I let it go too far. Even a kiss was too far. But I didn't screw him."

I grinned at her, "Got ya!"

She looked bewildered, "What do you mean?"

"Go call Bridget, please."

"I don't have to. I recorded the whole thing."

"I am going out and get in my truck. In five minutes I will start the engine and leave. You need to get in touch with 'Bridget' before I leave." I turned and picked up my bags and went out the door. I put my bags in the truck and looked at my watch. Three minutes later the door flew open and Susie ran out and yanked my door open, "You dirty rotten Bastard. You let me think all night long you screwed her. I was so hurt. I just couldn't believe you would do that. I wanted her to teach you how someone attractive can lure you into a kiss or two! I never thought you would screw her. You let me think you did. Now I know how badly I hurt you. Please forgive me. Don't leave us, please. I will beg you this once. Don't leave us, please."

"OK."

She looked up, "What?"

"I said OK, I won't leave."

She stared at me, then she reached over and lifted one of my bags. It was empty.

She hit me hard on my arm, "You rotten son of a bitch, you never intended to leave, did you?"

I grabbed her and pulled her to me and kissed her on her sweet lips. "No, I just couldn't do it. It would kill me."