Trick Her Treats

Richie unknowingly unlocking a Pandora's box.

"Damn Richie, that was deep," Dd said, with a surprised look on his face. "And by deep, I mean deeply fucking stupid. Think about it, we drove over to Jimmy's house. Yet we have been walking for a good ten minutes. Where are we going? Who the hell is our parents? Where do we live? Do we even know what Jimmy looks like?"

"No, we have families, love ones, people who care about us," Richie said, as Dd's paranoia catches contagion. "I just for some reason can't remember any of them. My family members I mean."

"Dammit Richie, don't you get it," Dd said, now on his knees in tears. "He didn't write back stories for us. Because you said, 'if the author is not black, then he just used you as a voice activated sock puppet in black person, to spew racist jokes he otherwise wouldn't get away with today.'"

Dd, continuing to speak as though Richie had stumbled onto a secret, "don't you get it, we're now realizing we are in the middle of nowhere. He could be coming up with all kinds of fucked up ideas. What if the author's name is Jimmy, and his mom is some 300 pound white lady named Bertha. Oh God Richie, I think we might have fucked some Midwestern dairy cow!"

"No, there has to be a plausible explanation for this," Richie said, scratching his head. "If we were fictional characters in his story, why not just get gay Antifa to hold us down, while Mr. French shits in our mouth. Wait a second, how do I know about Cucks, of Bang Cock?"

"No Fuck Face, now you're giving him ideas," Dd said. "That's your new name by the way, Fuck Face, its no longer Richie."

"Do you here me Jimmy, Richie's new name is Fuck Face," said Dd, yelling at the sky as his mental health goes over a cliff.

"There's a plausible explanation for this, we could be hallucinating on some sort of LSD," Fuck Face said, still in his denial. "Perhaps we ate some tainted candy corn, in about 4 to 8 hours we should be fine."

Dd, now in the fetal position, rocking side to side, blubbering to himself crying on the sidewalk.

"God dammit Dd, no," a self righteous Fuck Face said in defiance, to his terrified friend unable to respond. "I refuse to believe our existence is just letters formed into words, put into sentences, as nothing but descriptions of fiction. We are men, who's asked the age old question since the invention of time. Who are we? Where are we going? What's our purpose for existence?"

"First question, who are we," Fuck Face said, while pacing in a circle around Dd. "Well I know who I am. I'm Cunty Mcfuck Face the 3rd, my father was Cunty Mcfuck Face the 2nd, and my grandfather was the 1st Cunty Mcfuck Face to be born in America."

"Next question, where are we going," Cunty Mcfuck Face said. "I figure if we start walking in one direction something might jog our memory. As for the last question, our purpose for existence? Only the future can answer that question. That's right, I wasn't voted human fortune cookie in my high school yearbook for nothing. Now get up Dd, and let's start walking towards that old man in the trench coat playing with that weird looking yo-yo."

An angry old gypsy screams out, while whipping his nut at two idiots, "wake up! Wake up! United States supports 70% of the world's dictators, including the Saudi Arabia's genocide in Yemen. All to preserve United States dollar as the world's reserve currency."

A purpose for existence, in a bleak future that has lost all resemblance of normalcy. Prior having to decide on which dunce hat the American public wanted to wear, by either voting for a Nazi with a learning disability, or a man who has the mind of Ronald Reagan coming out of the White House. Two young men, are left with the hopeless task of fighting mutants after a vaccine gone wrong.

"Okay mutant scum, it's time for Wormhole to be all up in your shit," said Dd, balls deep inside a mutants butthole.

"We, we, we, we, we, we," the mutant, crying out in pain the only word mutants can speak.

"Hey Seed, it's fuck o'clock time," Dd said, yelling at Richie to switch places. "So dump that miracle nut, and change this mutant fuck back into a human!"

The movie critics called, "a no holds bar, mutant raping good time."

I Am Not A Legend!

Starring: Dd Smalls, as Wormhole. Richie Spaniard, as Seed. The pancake syrup lady, as Dd's mom, the widower Mrs. Smalls. And Lorraine Dela Cruz, as Mutant Unchained.

So hold on to your bloomers, because this paper bag of shit is about to get lit.

Coming soon, to a neighborhood near you.

Written by Epcy6,9, & Angry Hubby.