Unanticipated

"Arm wrestling soon became a popular activity to mitigate stress and boredom. We soon developed weight classes but over time, we wanted to see the best of each weight class go up against the best of heavier classes to see how far we could go. After a year of arm wrestling, I had never lost a match. One of the base doctors gave me a special examination to determine how I was able to win against opponents nearly twice my size. He surmised that my arms were primarily served by aerobic slow-twitch muscles. People like you, who lift heavy weights for short bursts, develop fast-twitch muscles which give great bursts of energy for short periods. My arms might not be as strong as many others but I have endurance and stamina. My arms can go all day long as long as I breathe and provide the oxygen they require. The way I won against you was not by sheer strength but by outlasting you as your anaerobic muscles began running out of gas. Even though I was in the Marines, they nicknamed me Army for two reasons: the word Army means strong, and I also gained notoriety for my arm. So there you have it. I've given you my explanation; now I'll take my leave and let you guys get on with whatever else it is you wish to do tonight."

I quietly stood and began walking toward the door. No one made a move or spoke a word. They were still in shock. Then Stacy called out to me.

"Honey, this is wonderful. Hold on and I'll drive us home," she pleaded.

"I'll wait outside. Go put some clothes on before going home," I responded.

She took my remark as a sign of encouragement. I meant for it to be nothing more than a delay tactic, to buy me time to get away. She quickly rushed to the office to change back into her regular clothing while I rushed outside to look for Hal. When he saw me, he flashed his lights. I knew he wouldn't leave me in the lurch. As I was hurrying over to his car, I saw the group of five walking out of the building scanning the parking lot for me. They soon began running in my direction. Hal decided not to wait around and peeled away from the scene burning rubber. I had miraculously made my escape with my memories of the night still intact.

"I swear I didn't leave you in there alone, Army," Hal informed. "Several big lugs forced me out the door and tossed my cell phone out on the ground. They told me it was a closed event and I had not been extended a proper invitation. So I waited for you, all night if need be. From the looks of those guys on your heels, it didn't appear to be a friendly approach."

"I knew you'd be there for me, Hal. I was counting on you," I iterated.

"I've always got your back, man, you know that. So what's the story, and where do you want me to take you?" He asked.

"Take me to my place," I urged. Then I proceeded to explain all of the events of the night. Hal was shocked beyond measure. He expressed his disbelief that Stacy would ever betray me the way she had done. And the drug angle was over the top. He simply shook his head at her egregious betrayal. I explained that my cell phone had been left at the gym. I didn't want to waste any time trying to retrieve it, and since I don't have it, no one, especially Stacy can use it to contact me which was a good thing.

"What do you want me to do?" Hal asked as he pulled in front of my place.

"How about parking behind my building? I imagine Stacy will be along shortly. If she comes alone, I'll talk to her as I'm packing. I'm hoping you'll let me hang out at your place for a day or two until I get my bearings."

"Of course, you can. You don't even need to ask but all I have is a spare couch to offer you in my small apartment."

"The couch will be perfect, Hal, thanks. If Stacy comes home alone before I leave, I'll confront her tonight and make my intentions clear. If she brings any of the thugs with her, I'll slip out the back door and escape with you to your place."

"Got it," Hal blurted as he parked out of sight behind the building.

I had two suitcases packed and was zipping up the second one as Stacy ran inside to me.

"Thank God you're here. I was worried sick you'd be gone when I arrived," the penitent woman exclaimed.

"Are you here alone? Or are the five cocks you sucked to orgasm earlier somewhere nearby?" I demanded.

"No one else is coming, Army," she winced. "It's just you and me. I want to apologize for my behavior earlier tonight. I was caught up in the excitement of it all. I was hoping against hope that you'd win but I had to play both sides of the fence so we would end up with at least twenty grand to finance the start of our family. You were amazing! You put Goliath in his place and showed all of them what you're made of. You saved me from a night of debauchery, baby. Now the entire forty thousand is ours and I'm so happy to be your love slave for the entire night, rather than having to submit to someone else."

"That's not how I remember it, Stacy. I'm sure I heard you say, 'Come on, Goliath! Take him down. Show the boy who the real man is here. Finish him so I can get you between my legs. Finish him! Do it now!'

She had the good sense to look at the floor for a moment. "As I said, I was playing both sides of the fence."

"Funny, I don't recall you ever cheering on my side of the fence. Well, from now on, you can play their side of the fence for the rest of your life. Once we're divorced, you can fuck and suck all the men you want with no objection from me," I seethed.

"Divorce? You can't be serious! All of this tonight was about us getting enough money to kick-start our family. I want to have YOUR babies, Army, not Goliath's, not anyone else's, YOURS! This was only going to be a one-and-done event, Army. Goliath swore that you had no chance to win it and that you'd have no memory of any of it by morning."

"Yes, divorce. You should have considered the possibility before going down the path you chose with those fuck-heads. You cheated on me, Stacy. You sucked off five guys today and I wasn't one of them. And to make your betrayal worse, you were perfectly fine with having me held against my will and drugged. It's crystal clear to me now that I married the wrong woman."

"I did NOT cheat on you. I never had sex with anyone. Former President Clinton himself says oral doesn't count as sex."

"Really? So you're saying it would be perfectly okay if I gave five women oral orgasms and it would be perfectly okay with you? You can call it whatever the hell you want to, Stacy but I call it cheating. You were unfaithful to our marriage and to your wedding vows. And the ONLY reason you aren't getting fucked by shithead is that he lost the arm wrestling match to me. Otherwise, you'd have him between your legs right now all night long, while the shitheads attached to the five dicks you sucked off would have drugged me into a stupor and made me forget everything. I will never trust you again for the rest of my life. We will never have a child together, even if you had a million dollars. Divorce is the only way forward for me. I will accept nothing less," I fumed.

She began sobbing uncontrollably. "NO! You can't mean that! You're just upset right now. I will never give up on us, Army. We belong together forever."

"We belong apart forever. I am so glad we're parting ways before we had a baby. Having to deal with the likes of you during the child's life would disgust me."

Suddenly there was a knock at the front door. "Why don't you go see who it is sweetheart?" Stacy sweetly asked.

"I don't give a fuck who it is. I just want to be away from this place and you," I asserted.

"That's okay, I'll go see who it is," she sweetly offered.

Of course, I knew who it was. I'm sure the five thugs were coming to finish the job that they had been commissioned to do, and I wasn't going to hang around and let them finish. I quietly slipped out the back door with my two bags and hurried over to Hal's car. That was a bullet dodged. I spent the night on Hal's couch. He was armed and ready to defend his abode should it be required. Sunday morning, I paid for two fairly inexpensive round-trip flights to Las Vegas. Hal and I hit several betting venues in sin city. We collected all of the failed discarded betting receipts that we could find on the floor and in trash cans. Even though I wouldn't need it all, we didn't stop until we had close to forty thousand dollars' worth. Once Stacy realized that I was serious about divorcing her, I felt certain that she would come after the money, at least on a 50/50 shared basis. I wasn't going to allow her to profit from her slutty whoring ways. Perhaps all of her fuck buddies signed an agreement to split the winnings with her but I never did.

I called off work for Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. I felt that I needed to move quickly. I visited the first attorney who could see me on short notice. Lincoln Price advised that the simple divorce I wanted would cost in the neighborhood of $4,000.00 to $4,500.00. I paid him five grand in cash and asked for a receipt. I advised him that the extra tip I was paying him was for the stellar service I knew he would be giving me. Money talks and I felt good that I had a shark on my hands. He said he could have her served at the gym on Tuesday afternoon. The sooner the better. We only had two credit cards and they were in both of our names so I canceled them both. Fortunately, neither of them had a balance. The amounts we had in checking and savings weren't worth fighting over in my estimation, so I left them untouched but I did open up a new bank account in my name alone and asked HR to direct deposit my checks into the new account from now on. I did call and cancel service on my phone. It was a relief to inhibit her access to me. I did pick up a burner phone for temporary use until I decided what I was going to do. The number was shared only with those I trusted, namely Hal and my parents.

Tuesday, I went apartment hunting. I located a decent affordable unit near my place of employment. My parents would have gladly taken me in but I'm too independent to return home now. They were shocked to learn of Stacy's antics. I didn't tell them everything, only that she had decided to provide others with sexual favors and I could not abide that. They were very disappointed in her and understood my reason for leaving her.

I did ask another favor of my friend, Hal. On Wednesday, we used his pickup truck to move my belongings from my former home shared with Stacy to my new place during the day so I wouldn't have to interact with her. I wanted all communications to go through Lincoln, my attorney. That didn't work as I had hoped. She must have followed me from work one day because, within thirty seconds of arriving at my new apartment, she came knocking at my door. After ten minutes of nonstop door-banging, I finally let her in.

"Whatever it is that you want to say, Stacy, get it over with and get out. I'm about to fix some supper and you're not invited."

"Why did you have me served divorce papers?"

"I told you I was going to do it and why. Don't waste my time asking questions you know the answers to."

"I told you why I did what I did. I did it for us. Maybe I went about it all wrong, I admit that but never, not for one second did I expect this to blow up in my face the way it has."

"Okay, thanks. I heard what you said, now you can leave," I urged.

"Please, Army, thirty minutes, give me thirty minutes and if you still want me to leave after that, I will."

I gave her a look of perspicacity as I placed a blank sheet of paper and a pen in front of her. "I'll give you your thirty minutes if you'll give me something first as a show of good faith."

"Of course, Army. Name it," she offered.

"I want the names, addresses, and marital status of the five guys you sucked off. Plus, I want Goliath's home address as well as his marital status. You provide me that information and you can have your thirty minutes," I tendered.

"I, I can't do that, Army," she shrank. "Anything but that. I'm afraid that you'll go after them and it won't end well for you. I can't take the chance that you might get in trouble over this."

"I see. Well, since you seem compelled to make unilateral decisions for my well-being, I will do the same for you. You need to leave right now Stacy because if you don't, I can't be responsible for your well-being. I can't take the chance. Now go and don't darken my door again!" I forcefully emphasized.

"But Army,"

"GO!"

It was clear that protecting her lovers or intimate partners was more important than reconciling our relationship because she left without saying another word, just silent tears. At least I was hopeful for a temporary reprieve from her unrealistic expectations.

Lincoln, my attorney notified me that Stacy had engaged her own legal representation who, being friends with a judge, managed to get the judge to require that I attend a minimum of eight couples counseling sessions with an aim toward reconciliation even without a hearing. Lincoln was surprised that the judge would do this but judges are extended tremendous latitude with divorce cases. We lived in a very conservative community that eschewed divorce. Lincoln at least managed to wrangle my choice of counselor. He recommended two who he believed would be impartial and fair. I chose the male counselor to moderate the ninety-minute sessions.

At the first session, after listening to Stacy's apology for our 'misunderstanding' and plea that nothing had taken place, she was belligerent that nothing had happened and my accusations were based upon my jealous mind due to the nice men who work at the gym with her. After hearing that load of crap, my part was instantly easier. Rather than call her a liar or advance further accusations, I decided to take a different approach. I confessed that I had fallen out of love with her and couldn't bear the thought of spending another day in her presence. I told her and the counselor that I thought she was anorexic and ugly and that any children we may have had would have looked hideous. I played the shallow card, saying that any love I once held for her had turned into hate. She sobbed loudly at these new revelations, completely denying my expressed feelings. Although startled, the counselor admonished Stacy about the impropriety of denying my feelings.

During the second session, I was asked what it was that I disliked about Stacy specifically, so she could have target areas to work on to improve our relationship. I told her she'd have to have extensive plastic surgery on her face, completely changing her appearance along with changing her hair color to long flowing red. I said she has the body of a sixteen-year-old babysitter and I feel as though she wants me to be intimate with a teenager. I advised her to gain fifty pounds and then we'd talk. The counselor argued against my offensive position and suggested that most men would appreciate Stacy's fitness level. I then offered that all of those other men were more than welcome to her.

At our third session, he asked us to make a list of any of the attributes or characteristics that we liked about the other or found attractive in some way. I made a mockery of the exercise by listing a single positive attribute. She read off her long list of my wonderfulness hoping to appeal to my ego. I totally ignored her ravings, and when asked to read what I had written, I told her that the only positive I could come up with was that she politely closed the bathroom door whenever she went to take a dump. They both seemed perturbed at my rudeness. The remainder of our sessions were spent with me convincing them that words do not exist that could convince me to fall in love with her again. I relentlessly reiterated that marrying her was the biggest mistake of my life. When asked what kind of woman appealed to me, I explained that I had my eyes on several Asian women that I might ask out after receiving my divorce. Stacy demanded that I provide her the names and locations of these other women.

I simply stated, "You give me the list I asked for, and I'll give you mine." The following week I had the list I'd requested of her.

"Alright, Army, I gave you what you asked for. Now it's your turn to return the favor and give me the list of women you were talking about last week."

"Fair enough," I said as I sat and composed the list, and handed it to her.

"What the hell?" She asked in confusion. This is a list of old ladies in their sixties and seventies. And not a single one is Asian," Stacy remarked.

"Did you think I said Asian? No, silly, I said that I had my eyes on several AGING women that I might ask out afterward," I chuckled. The only Asian woman I know is happily married to Bill Fremont with three kids, and she wouldn't give me a second look."

I received mixed looks from a perplexed Stacy. On one hand, she seemed relieved that I hadn't demonstrated any interest in another specific woman yet. On the other hand, she was pissed that I had played on her insecurities to coax the requested list from her. This list would save me the time and expense of a P.I.

Then the onslaught began. Stacy must have engaged in an all-out campaign with every friend or acquaintance I know to persuade me to reconcile and give her another chance. Many of the ones who approached me had been longtime friends that I'd known for years. She even succeeded at convincing my parents to do her bidding, relaying that Stacy had convinced them of her sincere contrition and that I should seriously consider giving her another chance. I didn't want to lose all of my friends by isolating myself from them or disowning them. I took a slightly more subtle approach by sticking earbuds in my ears every time her name came up in conversation and cranked up the volume. Without saying a word, my message was effectively conveyed repeatedly, and the incidences rapidly abated. She never persuaded Hal, however. He was planted firmly in my camp.

The fact that none of the names on the list had been the subject of my physical attack encouraged Stacy that I was beginning to come around and put the hurtful acts behind me or lead to me being jailed. However, the counseling sessions wound down to the final appointment with no breakthrough to lead to reconciliation. Stacy once again pleaded for me to forgive her and give her one last chance. She delivered a tearful emotional performance that would sway anyone else but me. The counselor then elicited my final response.

"Stacy, what you gave to those five assholes and that shit-head, Gerald, was something precious that I had mistakenly believed was mine and mine alone. Our marriage can never recover from that since you revealed that my belief in your commitment was nothing more than a make-believe fantasy. All I ever had was wishful thinking. I no longer want the type of love you have to offer. I'm sure men will line up to get between your legs; I will not be among them. Good luck with your search. Our marriage is dead. Please let it go." I rose from my chair and left her sobbing while shaking her head. I did not look back.

As suspected, her ire was raised by my constant rejection. She had her attorney appeal for the legal revelation of all financial assets, specifically the forty grand. She was requesting half of it. Through my attorney, I furnished the five grand receipt for his divorce services, receipts totaling $1,000.00 for mine and Hal's trip to Las Vegas, including airfare, taxi service, and meals, as well as $34,000.00 worth of receipts of lost bets for that same day. The entire forty grand was legally accounted for. She and her attorney protested that I shouldn't have blown her half, to which my attorney reminded everyone that the money had been spent BEFORE she was served divorce papers, therefore the total winnings were mine to do with as I pleased. As a gesture of goodwill, I instructed Lincoln to allow her to keep all of the small amounts in our checking and savings accounts. It made her feel as though she had won in some small way against me. She would never learn that I was still sitting on most of the winnings.