Unblended Ch. 04

"You know it would follow you around, right? Like, anyone smart enough would figure out where they seen you before, that tends to color an impression."

"Honestly? If someone recognizes any of us from having sex on the internet and they have a problem with us owning that, fuck 'em. We can get jobs somewhere else."

Mama nodded, sipping her beer. "So, would you wait until this whole business were fixed up before you put out your shingle?" She indicated my general person, and I caught on.

"I mean, uni-on-blended is pretty popular, but yeah, I should probably stay a little circumspect about my, er... condition."

"Good idea, slick."

"What does Mom think?"

Mama tilted her head back and forth. "She ain't crazy about it. She'd have some damage control to deal with at the law firm, once it got out; some of her partners still got conservative sticks up their backsides, even with... well, everything. She'll probably come around eventually."

In the end, I agreed to table the idea for a while. We chatted right up to Mama needing to start dinner, and I helped her prep some things before being banished to clean up, both for dinner and for Tanya's party.

*****

"So, what's the plan here?"

I had picked up the girls on the way to Tanya's place when I asked about the outlook. I knew that they wanted to talk to Tanya before making any formal invitation to our burgeoning polycule, and that would probably involve some kind of intimate contact, but apart from that, I was clueless.

"We're going to sit down and talk it out," Michiko said. She had not dressed like the busty ninja girl from Fatal Fury, but rather picked a fairly straightforward t-shirt/track jacket/legging ensemble. Tessa, too, had dressed contrary to expectation in a fairly casual (for her) 80s club kid look: armbands, headband, neon eyeshadow and blush, oversize t-shirt off the shoulder revealing a brastrap, and so forth. I was one to talk of course, departing from my usual Bowie sheik in favor of a golf shirt, slacks, and loafers.

"I doubt there'll be any problems," Tessa said, "we saw the way you two were looking at each other last night."

"Yeah, hey, what's this about Monster Hunter?" Michi asked.

"I might have taken her hunting this morning," I said, "she seems... open to the idea."

"That would be great!" Michi said. "Our first shared activity as a unit! Well, apart from the obvious." She placed her hand on my thigh and slowly rubbed back and forth, getting closer to my member with every pass.

"Hey, no distracting the driver," I said, and she pouted a little as she withdrew her hand.

Stonehaven, Massachusetts in September and October is everything you hear about New England autumns. The trees are a riot of yellow, orange, and red; the air is crisp and laced with the scent of wood burning; the local apple orchards start harvesting in earnest, and let me tell you, Stonehaven apples are the best. I mention this because Tanya lived on the east side of town, the hilly, heavily forested side, and driving through there when the fall colors are in can take your breath away.

Tanya's house was set back in a larger clump of trees, the property framed by the stone walls that criss-cross the New England countryside. I pulled into the long driveway and pulled up to the house, and Tanya came out to meet us. She was wearing a My Little Pony crop top (that barely covered her huge boobs) and yoga pants, and I heard Tessa murmur "yummy" from the backseat. She wasn't wrong, I had to admit. I might have walked over to her a little more hastily than normal.

"Hey!" I said as we hugged tightly. She smelled like barbecue: smoke, spice, brown sugar; she tasted like it too when we kissed. "Mmm, you been working a pit or something?"

"Mom's contribution for tonight," Tanya said with a smile, "once you get a taste of her pulled pork, you'll let her do anything to you for more, I guarantee it."

"Is that a euphemism?" I asked, getting a playful smack on the shoulder in return.

I stepped back as Tessa and Michiko walked over, and all three girls started bouncing and squeeing together. They were very bouncy, and I silently thanked whatever guardian spirits or love deities that led me to this point. "Hey," Tanya said eventually, "come on in, Mom wants to meet you!"

Tanya's house was a sprawling ranch-style that sat above a steep, wooded drop-off. The view from their living room was incredible, a glass wall that spanned half the house. It was clearly the entertaining center of the house, with a big fireplace and one of those conversation pits that were all the rage in the 70s, lined with deep plush cushions and sporting cup holders at various intervals. That would be perfect for a number of activities I could name, not all of them filthy. I lost sight of the girls as I looked out over the forest and its brilliant display of early autumn color.

I eventually tore myself away from the view and wandered over to the kitchen. Michiko and Tessa had vanished, but Tanya was at the stove stirring a big pot of something. At least, I thought it was Tanya. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her in to me, planting a kiss at the base of her neck and reaching down to rub her cock through the fabric of her pants. My first sign that something was off was Tanya's dick being a lot bigger than I remembered from the previous night. The second, more obvious sign was a voice much older than I was expecting saying "Mmm! Nice to meet you, too!"

I released Tanya's mom and recoiled in horror. "Oh, god, Mrs. Peterson! I'm so sorry, I thought you were Tanya!" She turned to face me, and it was a little disturbing how much alike she and Tanya were: same height, same build, same amazing boobs. Her hair was a little longer than Tanya kept it and streaked with grey, and she was dressed a little more conservatively (a full tank top and grey slacks). Her skin was the same shade of brown as Tanya's and her eyes were that same dazzling gold color.

I suddenly heard peals of laughter behind me. The girls had gone to the living room as I went to the kitchen, and they had seen the entire exchange. I knew my face was beet red from the embarrassment, but Mrs. Peterson's good-natured laughter and warm smile put me at ease. "Don't worry about it, honey, you aren't the first to make that mistake. Although, you can say 'hello' to me like that whenever you want."

"Mama, I see you've met Ace," Tanya said, sliding up next to me, "Ace, this is my mother, Jacqueline."

"Call me Jackie, Tanya's told me a lot about you already," she said, and we shook hands.

"That sauce smells amazing," I said, and Jackie smiled.

"It's an old family recipe, my mama brought it up with her from Kansas City."

"I thought Gramma was from Cleveland?" Tanya asked, receiving a shushing from her mom.

"Did I ask you, baby girl? No, I did not, you shut it."

"ANYWAY," Tanya said, "these are Michiko Sanada and Tessa Miller."

"Hello!" Tessa said, offering a hand in the style of nobility. "We're Ace's lovers."

"Jesus," I said, shaking my head.

"Enchanted," Jackie said, accepting the offered hand with similar grace before pulling both girls into a giant hug.

"I'm so happy to meet all of you! I'm sorry I can't stay, I'm about to head out for girls' night, myself. Ace, can you give this a stir about every few minutes and then pull it off the burner in 15?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Mmm-hmm, so polite! Once it cools, it can go into those bottles on the counter. T, walk me to the door?"

"Sure thing, Mama."

They walked around to the front entryway out of sight, and I assumed Jackie's place at the stove. "DAMN," Michi and Tessa quietly said in unison, giving me lewd looks.

"It's an uncanny resemblance," I said, avoiding their gazes. I happened to catch a quick glance at Tanya and her mom reflected in a wall mirror, and they gave each other a peck on the lips before Jackie left with a "Have a good night, girls!" I started to look away, so I couldn't be sure, but I could have sworn Jackie reached down to squeeze Tanya's dick as they kissed. By the time I looked back, Jackie was on her way out the door.

Tanya came back to the kitchen and drew Tessa into her arms, tilting her head up to plant a kiss on her black-painted lips. She then did the same with Michi, though Michi did the head-tilting instead. "Ace, I'm gonna have the ladies help me with the barbeque outside, you mind staying in here for a bit?"

I nodded. "I have been entrusted with the caretaking of this sauce, you'll find I'll do my duty." I was rewarded with a round of laughter as they left via a sliding glass door. Knowing what I did of the sorcerous ways of pit masters (thanks, Mama), those pork shoulders likely didn't need any hand-holding. Michiko had said something about "talking it out," but I suspected they would be exchanging oral credentials before long.

At least I had something to do. The sauce smelled amazing up close, and I gave it the requested stirs periodically. I also prepped the foodservice bottles Jackie had mentioned, giving them all a quick rinse. A nearby timer started beeping, and I shut the burner off and moved the pot off to a cooler section of the range.

Hey, is there a funnel somewhere? I texted Tanya. It wouldn't hurt to be prepared.

Cabinet next to the sink came the reply about a minute later. I went and found the requested implement as directed. My phone buzzed again shortly thereafter: Can you come out here and take the pork in? It has to rest before we can shred it

I rolled my eyes. Happy to help

The deck ran along the length of the house and extended out over the drop-off. I saw wisps of smoke blowing by from my right and turned to see a barrel smoker puffing away merrily. I also saw the girls reclined on a couch, Tanya sandwiched between Tessa and Michi. To my surprise, they were just cuddling and not actually doing anything remotely sexual (apart from the occasional boob grope). "Having fun?" I called as I walked over and donned the nearby barbeque gloves.

"You bet," Tessa said with a giggle. "When you're done with that, come back and pay homage to your new Queen."

"He did that already this morning," Tanya said.

"He can do it again, then, it's good practice," Michiko said.

I evacuated the pork shoulders from the smoking rig to a nearby platter and brought them back inside before removing the gloves and returning. Tessa had made room for me next to Tanya, and I slid in, throwing my arms around the girls. Tanya turned my head and gave me a slow, deep kiss before laying her head on my shoulder.

"Welcome to the family," I said, and Tanya sighed happily.

"Thank you," she said. "You'll help make me airtight later?"

It took me a second to understand what she meant, and everyone started laughing when I moaned involuntarily at the mental image. We had plenty of time for all sorts of activities before Tanya's other guests started arriving, but we ended up staying wrapped up in each other on the couch, talking about nothing and everything. I felt amazing surrounded by women for whom I felt very deeply, and I hoped that they felt the same way.

*****

"Jamie Jay! Need some help unloading?"

It was 7:30 when Granite Hills' EDM savant arrived, her tiny car loaded down with equipment. She had texted Tanya that she was running late, and most of the other guests had arrived by the time she drove up.

"Yeah, we could use a hand!" she said, exiting the car with Amy Hauser and popping the trunk. Her pink fauxhawk looked freshly redyed, and she was in her usual punk-chic attire.

"Is it true you streamed a sex show last night?!" Amy practically shouted at me as I rounded the rear of the car with Jamie. The dogged reporter was wearing a blue crop top with no bra, showing off the barest hint of underboob, with a plaid skirt and thigh highs.

"Come on, babe, lay off," Jamie said as she handed me a pair of big 700-watt speakers. That level of familiarity between them was news to me, but also not really surprising.

"Hey, tell you what," I countered, "I'll sit down with you later and we can go the whole route, okay?"

Amy nodded. "Fine with me."

As I walked the speakers in with Jamie, I sang "How long has this been going on?", tilting my head in Amy's direction.

"Just the summer so far," Jamie said, "she's actually a blast when she isn't, you know, chasing a story." We deposited the gear in a corner of the living room near the couch pit. At Jamie's direction, I put the speakers down and ran cables to where her console would be.

"Any truth to the rumor she's a complete beast in bed?" I asked teasingly.

"You might think that," Jamie replied, "I couldn't possibly comment." She sniffed at the air as she started setting her console and laptop up. "You trying new cologne? It's pretty good."

I shook my head. "Nope, that's probably my new biology working its magic. It's, ah... pretty alluring."

Jamie nodded, her face flushing briefly. "Good to know. I was joking about getting blown under the console last night, bee tee dubs."

"Understood, no worries. I'll keep my distance."

"Oh, let's not get ridiculous..."

Amy brought the rest of Jamie's gear in, and Jamie was set up and rolling shortly thereafter. Rather than doing a full set, she'd compiled a chillout playlist, what could otherwise be called "easy-listening EDM." I found it amazing and astonishing, and I was glad she would be able to hang out rather than handle the turntables all night.

By then, all of the people Tanya invited had arrived, and the party definitely had a more relaxed vibe than one might expect from a bunch of horny teenagers. The conversation pit was well-attended, Tanya deep in discussion with Stacy Keebler, Becky Addison, the Foster twins, Jamie, Amy, and Tessa; a group of Tanya and Stacy's teammates were out on the deck and being generally raucous; Michi was hanging out in the kitchen with Donna Mulgrew (the Mountain Who Walks), most likely discussing D&D Club business as Donna destroyed the pulled pork.

Donna looked positively bad-ass. The ceilings were tall enough that she didn't have to crouch down, allowing her to stand at her full height of 6' 10". She was wearing a sleeveless tank that came down to right above her mosntrously-ripped abs and just barely covered her sizable boobs. She had baggy athletic shorts on that extended below her knees, so there were no hints as to her other endowments. But what really attracted me to Donna wasn't her sculpted form or incredible rack but her face. She kept her head shaved down to bare stubble, and her aquiline features, cool grey-blue eyes, and Mediterranean skin tone were set off with winged eyeliner, black lipstick, small diamond studs, and a simple septum ring. I knew that, given the opportunity, I would climb her like a scratching post, but we'd always just been good friends and I was okay with that.

As I went over to join Michi and Donna, I noticed Melissa Bourne leaning on a wall nearby listening in. I was surprised to see her there, and especially surprised to see her wearing anything other than her usual dowdy librarian attire: she was in a cute, retro-styled red cocktail dress that showed off a killer hourglass figure with plenty of deep cleavage. Her dirty blonde hair was up in a short beehive, and she was wearing a modest amount of makeup for the first time I could recall. It was an incredible transformation, and I detoured in her direction to comment on it.

"Hey!" I said, "You look amazing!"

Melissa blushed furiously. "Thank you. I'm not used to... any of this, actually." It was clear Melissa was very nervous, but that my talking to her was helping a little.

"It looks fantastic, I think red is absolutely your color. I was just about to interrupt the club intrigue and you should get some of Tanya's mom's pulled pork before Grellka eats all of it, want to come along?"

"Grellka?" Melissa asked, before looking back over my shoulder at Donna. "Oh! Sure! If... wait... I wanted to..." She looked down at her red Jimmy Choo (!!) mules bashfully.

"What's up?" I prompted.

"Thank you for Wednesday," she said eventually, "I didn't know what to do when they cornered me like that."

"Hey, it's no problem," I responded, "we unis have to stick together, you know?" Melissa looked at me with a bright smile and nodded. "Alright, come on, I want a shot at that pork myself."

We walked over and I pulled the foil tray of pork away from Donna. "Alright, who's putting the knife in my back this year?"

"Michiko, obviously," Donna said, "I would just crush your head like a... oh, hi." Donna's voice tapered off as she noticed Melissa standing next to me.

"Holy shit, it's Melissa Bourne!" Michiko said, her jaw dropping a little.

"Nice," I said, building a pair of sandwiches and handing one on a plate to Melissa. "Real welcoming, you two. Melissa, may I introduce our club's vice president and secretary?"

"Thank you," Melissa said, giving a polite curtsy. "It's nice to meet you."

"Likewise," Donna said, recovering fairly gracefully as she focused on sliding the pork back her way. Donna's giantess frame and muscular build required a lot of calories to maintain, and I was fairly certain she had consumed an entire pork shoulder on her own. "Were you thinking of joining us this year? There's always room at Ace's table." Donna waggled her eyebrows as she bit into another sandwich. I gave her a glare, which she laughed off.

"I didn't realize you played?" Michiko asked.

"I don't, really," Melissa said, "but I'd like to at least learn about it. My father says that... well, he says a lot of things, but I read his DragonRaid books a lot and it sounds like it would be a lot of fun."

That got my attention. "DragonRaid, eh? I wouldn't mind taking a look through that myself." Michi and Donna gave me blank looks. "RPG from 1984, it's the evangelical Christian version of D&D. Like, 'let's learn about the Bible through standard adventuring tropes'."

"Oooh," they said.

"I don't know that I'd want to play that, necessarily," Melissa said quickly, "I mean, if you all play Dungeons & Dragons, it can't be as bad as my father says, right?"

"Of course not," Michiko said, "it's not all orgies and demonic summoning rituals."

"Not that we haven't thought about the orgies," Donna said. The way she looked at Melissa and I as she said it, along with how her body shifted, I could tell we were having an arousing effect on her. I carefully took Melissa's hand and guided her to the opposite side of the island.

"Down, Grellka," I said as authoritatively as I could. Donna seemed to shrink a little, and she gave me a confused look.

"Uni pheromones are a hell of a drug," Michiko said, moving to Donna's side and away from Melissa.

"No shit," Donna said, shaking her head out a little. "That works fast."

Melissa gave me a worried look. "I'm sorry, should I leave? I don't want to make things awkward."

"I think we just need to take some precautions," I said. "Try to keep some space between yourself and others, that will help." I pulled out my phone and handed it to Melissa. "Here, send yourself a text. If you get into problems, you can text me back and I'll help out, though it shouldn't be necessary if everyone behaves." I said a little louder than I probably needed to.

"I'm behaving," Donna said.

"Smooth," Michi said.

"Shut it," I said back.

Melissa giggled as she sent herself a message, and then she went to her phone and sent one back. We both took a moment to update our contacts, and I suddenly felt an arm wrap itself around mine.

"Everything okay over here?" Tanya said, making the rounds.

"No problems here," I said, looking at Donna, "right?"

"I said I'm behaving!" Donna said, mildly offended.

"Well, you let me know if anyone starts giving you trouble, Melissa. Ace and I will take care of it," Tanya said, and Melissa nodded.