Under the Knife Ch. 01

Eden steered her friend to her room and helped as Hannah fumbled to find the security fob to her door.

"Thanks Eden. I'm sorry. I am a little drunk. It was a lovely meal and it was lovely to meet your friends," Hannah slurred as Eden guided her to the bed. Hannah plonked herself down on its edge and kicked off her shoes before slumping back onto the mattress with a sigh.

"Well I can't very well leave you in this state. Honestly, you silly girl!" Eden scolded her with a laugh.

She rolled Hannah to one side and unzipped her skirt, telling her "Up, up" as she then wiggled it down her legs. Eden sat her up and Hannah raised her arms obediently to remove her sleeveless blouse. She let Eden pull back the light covers and she climbed underneath.

"I'm so sorry, Eden. What must you think of me?" Hannah muttered, annoyed with herself.

Eden laughed again. "You're such a lightweight! Remember I can sink four pints before I end up like this. I'll fill a glass of water for you, so drink plenty or you'll feel like shit in the morning. Doctor's orders."

Eden placed a glass at the bedside table, but far enough away to avoid any accidental arm-flopping.

She could see Hannah was already asleep, and tidied the covers over her shoulder. She reached across to stroke her hand through the younger woman's hair, once, then several times. She knew drunks trust anyone, but she hoped for more. They had already made arrangements for their trip and soon they would be on their way. Another round of medical seminars, then beach.

Eden leaned in and knowing her unconscious friend would have no objection, kissed Hannah's cheek affectionately like a mother with her child. She sat on the edge of the bed deliberating, then decided to be sensible.

"Night-night sweetie."

Eden gave Hannah's shoulder a squeeze, flicked on the bedside lamp then rose. Switching off the lights, she paused at the door, holding it open to look back for a moment, then closed it with a decisive clunk.

* * * *

"Is this the ferry for Koh Tao?" Hannah asked a waiting tourist.

Hannah and Eden had taken the short flight to Koh Samui and found themselves at the end of a line on the pier.

"Yus, this is also the ferry on Koh Pha Ngan. Big party island. One long rave party and most excellent cool. First Pha Ngan then Koh Tao," the Dutch man replied from behind his shades.

Eden and Hannah climbed aboard, sitting at a bench seat on the open deck, before agreeing it was too breezy. The journey was a couple of hours and apart from avoiding fellow passengers vomiting into buckets, it felt like an adventure. Lots of fresh spray and sunshine, unruly sarongs and chaotic hair.

A taxi ride took them from the crowds at the little port and onto their resort in Shark Bay. The accommodation was simple -- just a beach hut with a veranda perched on a hillside overlooking azure blue and white coral sands.

They were still just friends, travelling together for company and safety. Hannah never trusted her feelings, knowing she was apt to read too much into a relationship. She'd already decided she was happy to share a holiday with Eden and that was enough. More than enough because every time she looked at her friend her heart felt light and she wanted to smile.

Eden was attracted to Hannah. She'd discovered Hannah's sunny enthusiasm and jest for life on their winter sailing course. When Eden had felt overwhelmed by tasks, Hannah was always there, making her see the fun side of being wet, cold and hungry. She'd never expected to see Hannah again after that, but she remembered her, wanted her sparkle again. Eden held back, she had to, she was not a single woman and had obligations back home. Yet still...

"I've never had a bedroom with tree roots before! Look at this Eden, this is mad." Hannah motioned Eden to look into the tiny room. Their hut was so crammed into the forested hillside that someone had simply built the wall around the base of the tree.

"It's like a garden shed," laughed Eden. "But who needs more than that when you have all this tropical loveliness outside? Oh, this is gorgeous, Hannah. We'll eat nothing but fruit and fish all week I suspect."

"Shall we explore?" asked Hannah, joining her at the door. We can leave our valuables at the dive centre and I've brought a padlock for our door."

"I do admire you, Hannah," Eden remarked leaning back to reassess her friend. Hannah gave her a quizzical face.

"I mean, you're so resourceful," Eden explained. "You think of all the details like padlocks and flight numbers, but still make everything an adventure. I feel like I'm being lazy."

"I'm still the vagabond graduate. I make it my job to be organised and I'm always travelling to far flung parts of the world, so this is easy. I was chasing polar bears in Greenland last year. Be lazy. I know how hard you must work and I can't imagine the pressure your job puts on you. Here, relax those shoulders for one thing."

Hannah spun Eden around, placing her hands on her shoulders. She took a dab of sun cream and massaged it into the slim muscles. Eden groaned and rolled her head back to enjoy the attention, her eyes closed.

"Too many knots and tension, Eden. Don't take this the wrong way, but are you a tense person? Do you make time for yourself -- you know, physically, away from work?"

"Probably not," Eden murmured back. "I could really use this kind of attention back home."

Hannah furrowed her brow and continued to pinch the muscles between thumb and fingers, letting them drag unseen tension away from the neck.

She had the words ready to reply, even took a breath to say them, but stopped short. Perplexed by her own hesitancy, the words spun in her head.

'You could, you know' 'I could do that.' 'I'd be happy to.' Alternative replies became log-jammed and the moment was lost.

Eden was puzzled. She'd opened the door to Hannah, invited a response, but her friend stood at the other side. Was Hannah too polite, too timid or maybe she simply wasn't gay? Since the answer to all of those was probably 'no', Eden wondered what else it might be.

She turned to face Hannah and tugging at her sun creamed hand, drew her onto the wooden veranda.

"Come on, let's find a bar. I fancy a paddle too, my feet ache from all that travel."

"Good plan. I'll stick to juice though. I don't want to collapse on you again."

They wandered down the path towards the beach.

Before they returned, Hannah booked some scuba diving at one of the several centres. She couldn't convince Eden to have a taster session, but Eden said she'd be happy to come along and watch. There was a night dive from the boat, which Hannah always loved for the sea creatures that only crept out after dark.

In the early evening they set out, with the crew and several other tourists. The dive was better than Hannah hoped and they saw several huge groper fish and shy Christmas tree worms. When they returned after thirty minutes, all the divers were excited and chattered as they pulled off their gear.

Hannah's face was beaming as she flopped down wet on the bench beside Eden.

"Aww honey, that was so special. It's like being in outer space down there -- huge gropers, tube worms that were so pretty and all the phytoplanktons glowing in our bubbles."

Hannah wiped her towel over her face and hair then smiled again with sparkling eyes, Eden reached across with both hands to cradle her face. For a brief moment, measured in a heartbeat Eden leaned forward, her head inclined then pressed her lips to Hannah's.

Eden could feel Hannah tense, then another heartbeat and she melted, their tongues salty with the sea. Behind them Eden could hear the chatter of the crowd as though it was an echo, distant.

Here, close, Hannah's skin was cool from the sea but her soft lips warm, she heard only the pulse of blood in her own veins, felt only the hand sliding cool on her thigh. Eden opened her eyes, but Hannah's were still closed.

As they drew apart, neither spoke.

Hannah took one of Eden's hands in hers and lifted it again to her own face, closed her eyes once more, feeling the warmth on her cheek.

"That just happened," Hannah murmured quietly.

Eden tilted her head in a silent question, 'Is that okay?'

In answer Hannah pulled her close in an embrace, side by side on the bench.

The boat's engine started with a roar, breaking the moment. The mooring line dropped, the crew handed out cans of soft drinks and they began their short journey back to the bay.

"Look, flying fish!" someone shouted, but Hannah and Eden were somewhere else, lost in a bubble that had no air. Hannah kept hold of Eden's hand, tracing patterns on its open palm, her eyes downcast.

When she looked up, Eden could see a tear rolling down Hannah's cheek edging its way into the crease of her smile.

"Happy tears?" Eden asked, reaching to brush it away with her thumb.

Hannah could only nod emphatically, yes. Unable to bear the emotions inside, she cast her face down and nodded again.

Once the boat was docked, gear handed back and thank you's made to the staff, Hannah turned to find Eden, now watching her with a look of serenity on her face.

Hannah took Eden's hand and led her to the darkened beach, where lazy crowds sat in easy groups, chilled by the evening warmth and music.

"I want to show you something," said Hannah as they approached the gently lapping water. "Shoes off, we'll paddle out a little way."

They stepped into the dark of the water and away from the party lights and barbecue stands.

Hannah stirred the water with her bare leg and a trace of sparkles followed it.

"Is that fluorescence?" asked Eden.

"Bioluminescence, yes. Isn't it beautiful? You try."

"Hannah? I hope I didn't upset you. Our kiss, well my kiss. I didn't plan for this..." Eden's voice was soft but Hannah interrupted her.

"I... I have so many feelings inside. They're so strong and I don't know what to do with them. Hold me Eden. Hold me and tell me this is real."

Eden stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Hannah. They shared the warmth of their bodies held close, the itchy caress of the sea on their legs, the sand making little patterns round their toes. She rocked Hannah gently and turned her face to kiss her neck. Little kisses to comfort until Hannah turned her face and they kissed again. Their second kiss.

"I think we know how we feel about each other, Hannah," Eden said as they leaned back, their hips the fulcrum of their contact. "Maybe the question is how do we express it?

"Listen sweetheart, I should be honest with you. I have someone at home, in England, and we've been together a number of years; but feelings don't stop because of a bit of paper or where you stand in a relationship. All I know is how I feel about you right now.

"Life isn't about denial, but experiences. Feeling passion, feeling closeness, intimacy in a world that tries to keep us isolated in little boxes, clicking on phones, tapping away at keyboards like farmyard chickens. I want to express how I feel and live it, be in the moment.

"You make me happy, Hannah. I admire you and I'm a little jealous of you too. All I'm saying is, share this if you want to, if that would make you happy."

Hannah listened and nodded but was silent and unsure how to respond. Instead she traced her fingers through the water.

"If we move, these tiny little creatures respond with bursts of light. How sad it would be to be motionless in life and have no fireworks."

"Woo we got heavy fast, huh? Is that official oceanographic philosophy?" Eden asked with a smile.

Hannah shrugged happily. "Search me. All I know is I'm hungry and that food smells great."

"Shall we eat?" Eden smirked, hip-bumping Hannah as they waded back to the shore.

"Like I said, I'm hungry," Hannah replied bashfully and pulled Eden close for a brief kiss on her lips. They retrieved their sandals and meandered arm in arm through the islands of beach lovers, under yawning trees looped with necklaces of lights to find a bar with the sizzle of food.

With choices made they settled down to grilled tiger prawns, crab, shellfish on rice, eaten with their fingers, slick with coconut oil. They washed it down with a suspiciously strong cocktail, served in a bowl floating with decorative fruit boats.

Eden burped inelegantly, and smiled smugly at Hannah. They were both a little tipsy.

"You know what I like about this beach?" Eden commented, looking about and wiping her lips with a napkin.

"No one has hit on us. We've been sitting here for, what, forty minutes and there are bronzed Adonis's and hunky pecs enough for an orgy."

"Is the plural of Adonis's 'Adonae'. My Latin isn't too strong."

"He was Greek, sweetheart."

"Italian, Greek, Egyptian... they all have tiny weeners. At least they do in museums."

"Drafty places, museums. But seriously, this is a rare treat -- two girls on their own. Blond, brunette, so they've got a choice. This is a truly magical place."

"So you approve of my choice of island?" asked Hannah, tidying the remnants of her meal into a bowl. "What about the company?"

"Hannah. There was no choice in that respect. I had no choice and nor did you. We're like stars, set in orbit with no choice -- only inevitability," Eden sighed dramatically, making a gesture of leaning back onto the sand with a giggle.

Hannah crept up from sitting and crawled across on hands and knees until her hair hung in a curtain around Eden's face.

"I like this romantic Eden. Why do you hide her?"

"I have no choice there either. If you're to succeed in medicine as a woman, you either have to be a geek in a labcoat or fight it out with male egos on the wards. Too many Y chromosomes."

"I've got those," Hannah murmured brushing her nose on Eden's lips.

"You're a woman, Hannah. You just have a medical issue."

"Show me," Hannah whispered into the shell of Eden's ear.

* * * *

"Come on Eden, it's only a little chilly but my skin's toasty." Hannah reached out her hand from the darkness of the shower.

"There you go with your adventures again! I know, I know, I need to rinse off too, but you'll have to warm me up after. Jeez, that's like ice!!" Eden squealed as Hannah pulled her into the spray of water.

Hannah began to giggle as she took a handful of gel and lathered Eden's shoulders. Both women were naked, their costumes rinsed and hanging together on a peg at the door. Hannah's hands moved quickly over Eden's back and down her legs as Eden took care of front of house.

"Come on, Eden get your head under," Hannah cried, laughing still. She put her arms round Eden's waist and pulled her back into the full force of the water. Eden gasped loudly and cussed but that just made Hannah laugh more.

"I'm outta here," Eden declared, stepping away and reaching for her beach towel. Hannah screwed the squeaky faucet closed and dodged the final drops to skip out to where Eden was draped in bright seashells and mermaids.

"You promised to warm me up," Eden stated.

"You'll have to let me in there first," Hannah replied looking up a little to the taller woman, her face shining with water and smiles.

Eden opened up the towel and Hannah stepped forward, her skin cool. They stood for a few moments, feeling the contact of their nakedness for the first time. Both women were slim. Eden was a natural ectomorph with long limbs but Hannah was athletic, fit with more rounded muscles.

Hannah's rubbery nipples nuzzled into Eden's slight breasts, her own nipples flushed pink through their contact.

As they waited for the last few runnels of water to tickle their way down their entwined legs, they kissed. Little kisses of discovery, like ripples to the wave of passion they knew would follow. They savoured the journey -- there was no rush when there were so many feelings to explore along the way.

Eden shuffled them around with little steps like comedy penguins to face her bedroom. She made a nod of suggestion, her eyebrow raised. Hannah played along, looked sideways to the door and waggled her head, weighing the idea with a smile she couldn't hide.

"Come on then," Eden said softly, taking Hannah's hand.

As they lay beside each other, finally naked in the evening's embrace and warm light that fell softly from the next room, Hannah spoke, her voice husky.

"So, is there anything we need to confide? Nothing triggering here, but you know... well, I don't know, not yet, about you. We hardly know each other."

"Oh poppet, don't worry. It's just you and me. All we're doing is putting our feelings into flesh, so's to speak. Has something bad happened in the past?"

"No, not really, but my autism makes my head spin in these situations. Could you lead -- I won't be far behind?" Hannah looked away, avoiding the gentle pressure of Eden's soft brown eyes.

Eden nodded and put her finger to Hannah's lips, then opened her hand to comb her fingers through the drying strands of her hair, once, then again until Hannah turned her face to kiss the hand.

"Have you always worn your hair short?" Hannah asked, distracting herself from the moment and leaning up on her elbow. "It suits you. I like that I can always see all your face -- there's an honesty in that."

"I'd never thought of it that way. I just don't have patience for long hair but I'm glad you do. You can have the curls for us both."

Hannah rolled herself across Eden, their legs together like laced shoes. Eden raised a knee between Hannah's until her thigh pressed into her pelvis. More kisses, wet. Tongues, gentle at first, curtseying away as the other pressed deeper. Lento con amore, their dance slow, compliant. Shy eyes fluttering open to watch, witness, wonder.

Hannah eased Eden's pressing leg away and moved onto her knees, her fingers following her movement, making imaginary patterns around the soft shapes of Eden's curves until they rested on the flair of her hips. She leaned forward, her lips warm on Eden's tummy, her hair a cooler tickle, her tongue hot.

Hannah thought she tasted the sea, but here, close to Eden's centre, she caught the scent, the heat and quickening blood pulse of their dance. She was impatient for her taste but wanted to tease as well. Her wavering was dismissed by the hands now guiding her head and the shift of Eden's hips beneath her.

She kissed a garland of butterflies across Eden's hips, but the urgency of the kneading hands was unmistakable. Hannah feigned reluctance until she heard Eden's impatient gasp of insistence. There could be no misunderstanding and she let her hunger guide her kisses lower, to the bristle of Eden's pubis, to the thick creased folds already slick with desire.

Hannah tongue-tipped with cat-care to the darkness of Eden's sex. The contours of the flesh rose and fell in butter soft valleys that melted salt and sweet in her mouth. She pushed deeper into the forever flesh of sex, the oils now thick across her tongue. Her nose was held tight against Eden's pubis, her nostrils too full for scent, her open mouth silver lipped and sated.

Eden slipped her fingers into the tight space, into Hannah's mouth, past her sharp teeth to test her anemone tongue. Two fingers, then four, her thumb circling the girl's harlot lips, smearing them rouge gloss.

Hannah lifted her face, the slim fingers slow fucking her lips and tongue, invading the thoughts in her head, stopping the words in her throat. She moved to lie her weight heavy, leaving her fingers to paint ring a roses and come hithers in the velvet tide of Eden's wet sex until the curling wave of her orgasm broke, fizzing and fantastical on the beach.

Eden dragged Hannah up, as though pulling her from the sea, though Hannah was more drunk than drowning. Mouth to mouth, with shared tastes and smiles, then sighs and back of hand mouth wipes, fingers curled around each other, church and steeple, sinner and saviour.