Until now Pt. 01

I let myself in after a moment closing the door behind me slowly as I called out. "Hello?"

"Bedroom!" I heard her voice from down the hallway where her room was and started making my way towards her as I took in some of the art on her walls.

They were mostly in different styles, some expressionism here and realism there, but all contained an image of what seemed to be the same woman and the same signature at bottom of each. Lyric

That had been the middle name provided on her I.d. for a Brooklyn, possibly answering my question as to which one of the I.d.'s was really hers. Of course she would have one of the more interesting names she was carrying around with her.

I stopped in her bedroom doorway and nervously shoved my hands into my pockets as I looked over to her, sitting right back where she had been when I first lied down. "Nice to see you're still with us."

She gave me a dry laugh as she shrugged her shoulder at me. "At least one of us feels that way." She shut her magazine and stood up, giving me a better view of her beat up face as she came over to me. She looked worse now than she had the night before, the wounds having settled themselves into her face and now clearly visible in the day light.

I felt a knot rise up in my throat as I thought about what she must have been through for a moment, trying hard not to stare. It was hard though because she wasn't holding herself back from giving me a long look as she stood in front of me, looking like she was trying to figure something out before suddenly speaking and tearing me out of my own thoughts. "I'm not going to fuck you just so you know."

I rattled my head at her, not sure where that had come from. "I didn't think you were going to."

"Okay, good. Just making sure we're on the same page." She started walking past me and down her hallway, glancing back at me to make sure I was following after a second before she continued into her living room and dropped down onto her sofa where she pulled her knees up as she patted the spot next to her, her black underwear poking out from the large t-shirt she was wearing then.

I had seen her without pants on so many times at that point that I hadn't even noticed she wasn't wearing any until that moment, realizing then that was possibly why she had wanted to set her boundaries first.

I went and sat down next to her as she had silently directed me, trying to think of something cool to say with no success as she watched me, speaking up after a moment then. "So Leo, tell me about yourself."

I found myself rattling my head at her again. "How do you know my name?" I could understand if she called me Flex, maybe having overheard someone talking to or about me but not many people knew my birth name.

She gave me a bored look, as if the answer was obvious. "I checked your mail and figured you're not the one with the French name."

I guffawed loudly, most people don't admit to those kind of things so willingly, I couldn't be upset though, out of the two of us I was definitely the one to invade privacy more frequently. Unless she also watched me and was just much better at hiding it. "Most people call me Flex actually." I leaned back giving her a intrigued look as I spoke. "And you are?"

She looked like she didn't want to answer for a moment, readjusting herself on the sofa as she turned to face me more before answering finally. "Brooklyn, but people call me Lyric."

So I had been right about one thing at least, and was now one step closer to knowing her.

Something told me to be careful with my questions though, it was like walking on thin ice, having to listen and watch for any cracks that may form with each step I took towards my goal.

I gave her a small grin as I decided my route. "Did you at least put my mail back after you were done with it or did you keep that like you did the knife?"

"It's a good kitchen knife." Lyric quipped back, giving me a nonchalant shrug as she slouched down further. "They're hard to come by you know."

She sat up on her knees suddenly, getting close to my face as she smiled at me. "I'll consider giving it back if you tell me what I want to know."

I swallowed nervously as I looked back up at her, trying to ignore the feeling of her breath as it hit my face, feeling myself nodding at her then. I had only been with her for a few minutes and already it was like I was stepping into a trance like state as every movement and words of her was unexpected, tearing me along as I quickly lost any grasp of my free will. "What do you want to know?"

She sat back as quickly as she had sat up, crossing her legs in a way that was probably just a natural movement for her but seductive to me, pulling me further into the my trance.

"I want to know what makes Flex, Flex." She gave me a crooked grin and brought her arms up to stretch, as if she was preparing herself for something. "You can start with where you got that name."

That was all it took for the words to come spilling out of me, telling her my story from beginning to end, unwillingly almost, as if she pulled the words right out of my mouth with every blink of her eyes and nod of her head. Answering any and all questions she had as they came along.

There weren't many people I had shared my story with, never liking the looks of pity they would give me, usually waiting for people to give me a hint of being able to relate before I would share anything, but even then I would leave out a lot of details.

Lyric didn't give me the looks others did though, she was the first person to give me a mix of intrigue and amusement as she listened.

She didn't speak until I was finished and she was holding a joint she had had on her coffee out to me, having lit it at some point while I was talking. "And that's what really what makes you you?"

I took the joint, holding it in front of my lips as I gave her a quizzical look. "What do you mean?"

Lyric sat up again, coming closer to me and placing a hand on my knee as she answered. "What you told me was what you've experienced and done, or have had done to you." She tilted her head at me still looking amused. "But does that really make you who you are?"

I took a long drag of the joint as I thought about her question, exhaling slowly as I shook my head and held the joint back out to her. "I don't know actually now that you ask." She took the joint from me and sat back with it, leaning her head on the arm rest behind her as she looked up to her ceiling. "Yeah. I can't figure it out either." She kept her gaze up at her ceiling as she took another pull, blowing small rings up at the ceiling then before she spoke again. "Don't you think it's strange how everyone in our society seems to know they're just playing a role?" She looked back at me as she tucked her chin into her shoulder. "And even if they're playing these roles for different reasons or circumstances they're still not really willing to break out of that role until they're around people they trust or at least know well enough?" She chuckled, more to herself than to me it felt like, and took another drag before holding the joint back out to me. "As if there's something vulnerable about dropping the act or something."

"Isn't that what makes a society work though?" I asked her as I leaned towards her ashtray and set what was now just a roach down on it's edge. "Everybody plays their part to make things work."

She shook her head at me. "Society should be about community. Putting on an act seems like such an individualistic thing to me." She let out a sigh and stood up. "I don't want to play a role anymore." She held her hands out to me then, pulling me up from where I was sitting on the couch once I took them and heading out of the living room then as she pulled me behind her. "What are we doing?"

"It's late and I want to go to bed." I looked towards the window as we headed down the hall, only then noticing the dark night sky and wondered then exactly how long she had had me speaking. "Shit sorry, I lost track of time, I should get going."

I figured she was heading to her front door with me but she stopped once we were by her bedroom door and turned to me with a confused expression. "You don't want to stay here?"

I gave her a bemused look, not sure if this was a trick question or something. "I thought you said you don't want to sleep with me?"

Lyric held a finger up to me. "One, I said that I'm not going to fuck you, not that I didn't want to. Two." She brought up another finger as she continued. "I said stay here. As in sleep." She placed a finger on my cheek as she leaned towards me. "The rings under your eyes tell me you could use some of that."

I stepped closer to her, entering her room then as she stepped aside for me, quite fond of the idea of spending the night with her. "Sleep does sound good."

She climbed into her bed without hesitation then, quickly getting comfortable under her covers and watching me with a small grin twitching on her lips as I pulled my shirt and pants off and climbed into the bed next to her. "Can I be honest with you about something?"

"Always." I responded, giving her a curious look as I turned onto my side to face her.

"I have no intention of giving the knife back actually."

I let out a sleepy laugh as I pulled her covers higher, already feeling my eyes getting heavy. "Consider it a belated housewarming gift."

I heard the clicking sound of a light being turned off followed by the feeling of her getting settled next to me but couldn't open my eyes anymore, already drifting off as I heard her voice again. "And I think Flex is a stupid nickname."

I heard myself let out another sleepy laugh, murmuring my response a moment later. "Me too."

"Night Leo."

I'm not sure if I actually responded or just dreamed it, no longer able to fight the exhaustion as I drifted off into sleep in the exact bed I had spent the last six months watching.

It felt like only minutes had passed by the time I woke back up the next morning, confused about where I was for the first few seconds as I blinked at the curls that were spread out on the bed in front of me before my memory kicked in.

The night before had been as peculiar as the host herself, whom I still actually knew nothing about.

While she now knew everything about me after having so easily gotten it out of me.

Everything she did seemed to be effortless, I just couldn't figure out if it was because she just had an easy going nature or just couldn't be bothered enough to care.

I looked down to my hand once I felt it land on her lower waist as I got lost in my thoughts again, not noticing that I was reaching out towards her until it was too late already and pulled it away again quickly.

Not fast enough though because Lyric lifted her head a moment later, tossing her hair to the side then as she rolled onto her stomach and gave me a hard look. "Were you just about to grab my ass?"

I widened my eyes at her, trying not to sound overly defensive as I spoke. "No! I just didn't realize where I was putting my hand."

She kept her glare on me for another moment before flashing me a smile suddenly as she let out a quiet laugh. "Relax, I'm just messing with you."

I ran a hand over my face as I groaned. "It's too early for that."

"Not a morning person huh?" Lyric had an amused expression again as she rolled onto her back and kicked her blankets away, stretching her body just as I had already witnessed so many times before already. Starting first with her back as she arched it and brought her hands up before lifting her legs up into the air one after another, stretching each as she curled her toes.

I tried to look away, feeling my morning wood growing harder just from watching. Even if I had seen her do it hundreds of times already it was different when lying in a bed next to her and being able to put a name to the face now.

"Nope, never have been."

She rolled back onto her side, pulling her covers back over her and coming closer to me then. "I like the mornings, it's the part of the day where nothing has gone wrong yet." She flashed me another smile and placed her leg over mine, only making it more difficult for me to contain my still growing erection. "It's the only part of the day I feel like I have some control over."

I almost started laughing, she seemed like the last person to be talking about having no control, that was something I would say she had plenty of. I was the helpless one here, no longer able to control my thoughts, words, or body around her. "At what point do you feel like you lose control?"

Lyric gave me a sad look suddenly, shaking her head then. "As soon as my memory wakes up."

I was about to ask her for more information, intrigued by what kind of memories she had but found myself tongue tied as she brought her leg up higher to my waist and inched closer to me. "You know what I like about you Leo?" I gave her an amused grin, I usually didn't like being called that, but it suited her to do so, it was just another way of her going against the grain. "What's that?"

"You may be quiet but you at least have something good to say when you do speak."

"I'm not usually this quiet." I responded honestly, no longer surprised at the fact that I didn't seem able to maintain any form of command over myself when around her.

Lyric gave me a bored expression, frowning as she spoke in a flat tone. "Don't tell me I make you nervous."

I laughed as I shook my head at her, realizing myself then that it wasn't actually nerves that I was feeling. "No, I just think I like control as much as you do but I don't seem to have much of that around you, you got me not only constantly wondering what you're going to say or do next but also what I'm going to say or do next."

Lyric sat up as she gave a smile wider than any of the ones she had given me until then, letting this one actually reach her eyes. "You know what it is right?"

"No, I don't think I do." I answered honestly again, shaking my head helplessly as I looked up at her.

Lyric leaned down towards me, still smiling as she whispered. "It's you no longer playing a role."

She started climbing on top of me then, making it impossible for me to hide my erection from her any longer as she pressed her hips into me and leaned further down, still whispering. "I knew I had a feeling about you."

I thought she was going to kiss me but she climbed off of me again and got out of bed, going over to her records then to turn some music on.

I sat up on my elbows, staying in her bed then as I watched her move around her room, swaying her body to her music then as she got herself ready. I could have stayed there all day watching her, getting this full glimpse into her day finally. "We should go get something to eat."

She didn't respond for a moment, focused on covering the bruises and cuts on her face before she turned back around to me, smiling as if she hadn't just been tending to wounds that a bunch of thugs had given her. I gave her a quizzical look as I tilted my head at her. "What were you thinking?" Lyric turned back to her mirror, looking at me through the reflection as she answered. "Burgers and a milkshake of course." She actually looked offended that I asked, quickly turning her attention back to her reflection then.

I got out of the bed, bending over to pick up my clothes as I stood. "Sounds good enough to me, I can meet you outside in a bit."

She gave me a concerned look suddenly, turning back around to me on her little vanity stool. "You're not bailing are you?"

I gave her a baffled look as I shook my head. "No, just wanna brush my teeth and get a change of clothes."

Lyric nodded at me but her gaze hardened. "I know where you live if you're not downstairs in 20."

I gave her a bemused look but couldn't help but smile. "I'll see you in 20 then."

Sure enough Lyric was waiting for me outside in the courtyard when I came down 20 minutes later, looking even better than usual with high waisted bell bottoms that hugged her curves a cropped tee and large sunglasses that aided in hiding her face pretty well along with some red lipstick that covered her split lip. "Took you long enough." She was already walking past me and out to the street, heading to a blue Pontiac Firebird parked nearby with me following behind then.

"Nice car." I said, looking over the car roof at her as she unlocked the door but she only gave me one of her bored looks. "Yeah." She got in, leaning over to unlock the door for me and already had it started by the time I was seated. "What? You don't think so?"

She shrugged at me, flipping her sun visor down then. "It's just a car if you ask me."

We were off then, driving to whatever she had planned for us with music blasting from her stereo as we headed onto the highway.

I was curious where we were going but figured there was no point in asking since she didn't really seem like a person that liked answering questions, or that she would be able to hear me over the music.

I looked out to the ocean as we drove down the interstate, realizing then just as much she reminded me of all the water there.

If she wasn't like ice and making me tread carefully, she was like a rip tide, giving me no choice but to let myself get ripped along and go with the flow, see just where I end up.

I found myself enjoying it though, like being in a whirlpool with nothing but excitement bubbling at the surface making it hard to see what's underneath.

We didn't go far, only driving up to La Jolla where she then parked outside of a diner popular with the locals and headed inside to sit down across from me in one of the booths that faced the interstate.

She kept her glasses on, looking out to the cars driving by then as I watched her for a moment, filing through the millions of questions I wanted to ask her as I tried to decide where to start. I let out a sigh finally, and leaned towards her as she looked back to me, curious as to what it was that was frustrating me. "It's not really very fair you know."

"That's the way it should be though." She only glanced at me before looking back out the window, making me rattle my head at her in confusion.

"What?"

Lyrics had a small grin twitching at her lips but didn't look back to me, still focused on the passing cars as she spoke. "Well, there aren't really many things that are very fair now are there?" She looked back at me as she leaned towards me, sitting up higher then as she rested her elbows on the table between us. "I think people whether they have everything or nothing will be able to find the same amount of injustice in life. Even if it may be within different things."

"So what's the harm in wanting more then?" I asked, still trying to get my foot in her door.

"There's no harm as long you have the capability to say when enough is enough." She sat back again, raising an eyebrow at me for a moment. "I have yet to meet anyone that can do that though." She smiled then, looking back out to the window. "But you can always have enough of nothing."

I wasn't sure what to say then, stuck watching her watch cars until our waitress came over and took our orders, both of us knowing exactly what we wanted to eat. Her door may have been open, but just a crack at that point, wide enough for me to get a finger tip in maybe if I tried hard enough but something was telling me to accept that and wait for her to open it, save my finger tips.

There's no point in knocking if a person is just going to pretend to not be home.

"When do you gotta go back to work?" Lyric looked over her milkshake at me as she bent down to the straw as she left the shake sitting on the table in front of her.

"When I feel like it or things start going to shit I guess." I replied, summers were the time Luc and I had it easy, able to employ local high schoolers now that were looking for some extra cash for the months they were out of school.