Vagabonds

"You know I love you, right, Mack?" she finally began.

"Yes, I love you, too," I said.

"I don't mean like I love your Mom or anything. I'm in love with you, Mack. I always have been since that day at Cedar Point. You're the only man I've ever loved or ever will love," she said. "I trust you implicitly. I love everything about you except being married to you. You know how I am. I like to be free, no commitments, no baggage, nothing tying me down. I love my job and my life. I don't love them more than you, but I don't have to choose. You're as faithful as Granny is. We have an understanding. I don't fuck anyone but you. I never have, you know that. You've always understood me. That's why all this is going to sound as strange as hell."

"Uh oh." I laughed. "Sounds like I'm in for a nasty surprise."

She shot me a 'you're an idiot' look. "Yes, I'm afraid you are. Will you marry me, Mack?"

I nearly choked to death on my wine. Wine down the windpipe is a bad place for it to be. After I recovered, I just sat there with my mouth open.

"Stop being a dolt and answer me!" she snapped.

"Hell no," I finally got out. "Why, Bri? We make each other miserable. We'd be at each other's throats in a month. What's wrong with what we do now?"

"Nothing," she said. "This has nothing to do with us. It has to do with the sweetest, most adorable girls on the face of the planet, Mack. I'm totally in love with them. You fucked my life up completely when you invited me over that night. They're desperate to see you. They cry and beg me every night to come and see you. The problem is, I'm not going to give them up. I've never had so much fun or aggravation in my life as I have since they've been with me. Neither one of us has a stable home environment. No judge in his right mind would give them to either one of us. If we were married, they would give them to us in a heartbeat. So, if I want them, I'm going to have to take you as part of the package. If you want them, you're going to have to put up with me. Can we do it, Mack? We're great fuck buddies and I love you to death. Can you avoid irritating the hell out of me?"

"I doubt it," I told her. "You're just as bad as I am. You come home drunk, you're never on time for anything except your job, and you don't come home at all then don't call me. Hell, Bri, we've been there and done that."

"Yes, I know. The thing is, what if it's different now? I can't wait to get home at night. I always call them if I'm going to be late and I've had one glass of wine a night since I've had them. I never dreamed I could feel like this. Marry me, Mack. Give me a chance. I'll give you one."

"I think we need to talk about things," I said.

"So talk. What in the hell are we doing? You think I'm just flapping my gums here? Tell me what needs to happen. You want me to go first?"

I took a big gulp and signaled the waiter for another glass of wine. "Shoot," I told her.

"The thing that pisses me off about you the most is you're so needy," she said. "You need to know everything that I'm doing in great detail. When I'm going to be where, who I'm with, what I'm doing, when I'm going to be home. You're kind of OCD about stuff. If you would just quit trying to control me and let me be me, we'd still be married. You never could. It drives me crazy. Surely you know by now that you're the only man I'll ever be interested in. You know that, right, Mack?"

"Yeah, I guess I do," I said. "That used to bug the hell out of me. I worried that you'd find someone and leave me."

"That's never going to happen," she promised. "I've never even thought about another man since the day I first met you. I go to dinner with clients and colleagues. I go dancing with groups, men and women. I entertain. That's what I do, but from the moment I met you no man or woman has ever touched me intimately or ever will. Do you believe me?"

"Yes, it's the same for me. I trust you, Bri. I know you'd never hurt me. You're just so carefree and careless. I'm as in love with you as I was on the first day we were married. I think you feel the same way about me and we were comfortable where we were at."

"Well, I'm not anymore," she said. "There are these two girls who need a family. I love them nearly as much as I do you. I love them more than my job. I want to be part of their lives and the only way I see that happening is with the two of us doing it together. So, will you give me a chance, Mack? Will you marry me and try to love me so we can have this family together? I'm never going to bear children. I'm too vain and selfish to do that to myself. However, we can have these girls. Marry me, Mack, and I'll try my best to make you deliriously happy, okay?"

"Obviously, you've had some time to think about this," I said. "Give me some time, too, okay?"

She glanced at her watch. "You have twenty minutes," she said.

"Jesus, I'm on some sort of deadline?" I asked.

"Yes, they're going to be outside waiting for us in twenty minutes," she said. "They should get here in ten minutes. They're going to walk Granny for ten minutes and then a car is picking us up to take us to your house."

We hurriedly finished our meal and walked outside. There was a limo waiting but no sign of the girls. The driver told us they were walking the dog. He seemed to disapprove of "the dog." Maybe he didn't like drool on his upholstery. We waited a few minutes and I saw them hurrying toward the car.

"Let's go," Maggie said when they got to us. "There's a guy following us. Granny doesn't like him. He growled at him."

I glanced down the sidewalk and there was a young man approaching. He was about five-eight, had tattoos and metal sticking out of his face. He had on a stocking cap and a hoody and his pants looked like they were about to fall off him. I think he was under the impression that he looked thug, a pale imitation of the "Real Slim Shady."

"What you looking at?" he addressed me.

"Nothing, we're just leaving," I said.

"You think you all fly, nice sport coat, fine women, big car," he said. "You look like you got some spare money."

The dude was nuts. I was eight inches taller than he was and probably a hundred pounds heavier. I don't have a fat belly either. "I think you better move on," I told him. "My dog doesn't like you."

He advanced to about four feet away. "I ain't scared of no pussy dog," he said. "How much money you got on you?" He reached inside his coat toward the top of his pants and I saw a flash of metal. I kicked him in the chest and he launched backward through the air. A gun fell out of his pants to the ground. Maggie lost Granny's leash as he sprang. The kid had the presence of mind to protect his face with his arm and I heard the crunch as Granny destroyed that forearm. He screamed and Granny ripped the sleeve out of his hoody.

"Grandville, heel," I said.

He dropped the sleeve and came to sit beside me. The kid was writhing around on the ground and I went and knelt beside him, Granny at my side.

"Choke, Granny," I told him.

He sprang forward and the kid froze as those huge jaws closed around his neck. "I think you're an asshole," I told him. "Are you an asshole?" He nodded a little, his face rigid with fear. "Say it," I told him. He didn't respond. "Bite, Granny," I said.

He screamed a little and I saw blood trickling down his neck as those huge canine teeth broke the skin. You could hear the air snoring in and out of Granny's nose. "Say it," I repeated.

"I'm an asshole," he gasped.

"How much money you got?" I asked him. "Give it to me."

He reached into his pocket and Granny must have squeezed. "Slowly," I told him as he flopped around.

He pulled out a roll and handed it to me. "Let him go, Granny," I said.

He reluctantly released his hold and the kid scrambled backward. "I'm giving you a twenty yard head start," I said. "Then, I'm going to send him after you. I suggest you run fast."

He was off like a sprinter. He got about fifteen feet and his pants fell down. He took a nasty tumble and jumped back up, pulling his pants up and holding them with his good arm as he ran. "You need a belt," I called after him.

I turned back to the girls and all three of them were standing there with their mouths open. I kicked the gun into the storm sewer opening. "What?" I asked.

Bri unfroze first. "You're a nasty son-of-a-bitch to mess with, Mack. Remind us not to piss you off."

The girls launched themselves at me and I hugged them up. "Jesus, Mack," Stokely said into my chest. "I thought that guy was scary. You fu... you messed him up. Thank you. You did that for us, didn't you?"

"Well, nobody messes with my girls," I told her. "He left you a little donation for your college fund." I handed her the roll. She counted it. There was $700 in it. He must have robbed some other poor suckers recently. She split it with Maggie and we got in the car.

I was turned a little in the back, hugging Maggie, and I noticed something. "There's a van following us," I said.

"I know," Bri said. "It has some of our stuff in it."

I raised one eyebrow at her. "Yes, I know I'm taking a lot for granted," she grinned. "Girls, Mack said yes. We're going to get married again and we're going to keep you."

They gasped and squealed. "Really, Mack?" Maggie asked. "She really isn't a bitch. You were right. We love Bri. She's been so nice to us. We have a bunch of new clothes and she got us into this nice school! We're going to make you guys so proud of us! I promise you'll never be sorry."

"We know you will, sweetheart. Don't worry about that," Bri said.

I was in a bit of shock. I tried to say something but I couldn't get the words off my tongue.

"Are you okay, Mack?" Stokely asked.

Bri laughed. "No, he's going into full panic mode. His carefully ordered world is turning upside down. Everything in his house is spotless. Everything is in the perfect place. He's going to have girl's panties hanging in the shower and we're going to move his books and leave drink rings on his coffee table and it's going to make him nuts. I honestly don't know how he manages to live with Grandville. We're going to have to love him so much that he doesn't care that there are crumbs on the counter. Think we can do that?"

"I think you can," Maggie laughed. "I don't know about us."

"Oh, he's a sucker for pretty girls," Bri assured them. "All you will have to do is bat your eyelashes at him and he'll melt into a puddle. He'll be pissed off at me, though. That will piss me off and you girls will have to love us out of it, okay?"

I groaned. "I didn't actually agree to any of this," I said. "Bri is being her usual hurricane and just sweeping us all along."

"Do you love Bri?" Stokely asked me.

"Yes, I love her on the other side of town," I tried to explain.

"Yes, but we all need to be together to be together," Maggie said. They all burst out laughing at that statement and I had to join them. The idea was ridiculous. How did I lose control like this? As usual, Brianna had just taken over. My little enquiry into helping the girls had become a full-blown marriage and adoption scheme. By such small actions, a whole life spins out of control!

I thought this was a harebrained scheme and I told Bri that as soon as we got to my house. There was a flurry of activity and movers carried mountains of stuff inside and put it in various rooms. To my astonishment, there was pile after pile of girls' clothing going into Maggie's and Stokely's rooms.

"Where did you girls get all that stuff?" I asked Maggie as she swept by.

"Bri took us shopping a bunch of times," she said, disappearing into her room.

Bri stuck her head out of my room. "God, Mack, don't you ever get rid of anything? You have stuff you had when we got married. I'm throwing it away! I need drawers and closet space."

I raced to rescue my high school letter jacket from the trash heap. "Stop it, Brianna," I yelled in. "This stuff isn't to be thrown away! If I didn't want it, I wouldn't have it! Damn it! This is my house and I'll throw your bony ass out if you don't stop it."

She stuck her head out and gave me a glare. "Bony ass, huh?" she snorted. She grabbed me by the sleeve of my jacket and dragged me into the bedroom. It looked like a cyclone had hit. In one motion, she locked the door, pulled her dress over her head and leaned over with her hands on the bed. My breath caught in my throat. She didn't have on any panties!

Her ass was anything but bony. It was firm, small, tight and very muscular! She shook it at me. "Fuck me, Mack," she looked back over her shoulder at me, her blue eyes blazing. "I'm as hot as I've ever been. I need that big cock, baby. Quick, we can make out later."

"I'm onto your fiendish plan," I told her. "You're trying to fuck me into forgetting about my house and my life being destroyed."

"Yes, just fuck me now," she pleaded. "Don't make me beg, Mack."

I'm sorry to say that her fiendish plan succeeded. By the time she was done with me, I was as helpless as a newborn kitten. She was up and going the minute she realized she wasn't going to get me up again any time soon. "Go take some vitamins," she said as she swept out the door. "We've got a lot to do. This isn't over."

By the time the house was in some semblance of order it was 3 AM. By the time she gave me up for dead it was nearly four-thirty. I slept until 10 the next morning before stumbling to the shower. By the time I had shaved and showered, I was beginning to feel vaguely human. Bri was still asleep, that flame colored hair across her face as she lay on her belly. God, her ass was spectacular! I went into the living room and Granny was asleep and drooling on a pile of my best dress shirts.

I sighed. I got a glass of orange juice and a muffin. "Come on, Granny," I told him. "Let's get out of this scene of destruction." He raised his head and rolled his eyes, groaning as he got to his feet. We went out in the back yard and he did his business and came to lie down on my feet. I soaked up some sun, feeling as lazy as a big fat lizard. It was a very warm day for that time of year. The door opened and Stokely came out carrying a glass of milk and a muffin.

"Hi, Angel." I flipped a hand at her.

"Hi, Mack." She shut the door. She stood there for a minute and came to the glider in which I was sitting. "Is there enough room for me?" she asked.

I scooted over and she sat on my lap, putting her feet in the empty space I had made. She curled up with a sigh and took a bite of her muffin. Her big green eyes pierced my soul. "Mack," she began, muffin crumbs spraying over our laps.

"Ah, ah," I told her. "Eat first; take a drink of milk, swallow and then talk."

She giggled, but she didn't try to talk again until her mouth was empty. "Mack," she began again. "If you adopt us, will you be our dad and Bri will be our mom?"

"Would you like that?" I asked her.

"Oh, yeah," she said. "Bri would be the coolest mom ever! You're not cool, but I think you're more... dependable. I love you and I think you'd make the best dad in the world."

I nearly choked. "Well," I sputtered. "I guess it's good to be dependable if you're uncool."

She laughed. "I didn't mean it like that. I mean, she's like a force of nature and you're like a mountain. She really, really loves you, you know. She talks about you all the time. She told us all about you and her. Do you love her?"

"Yes, honey, but you said it. She's a force of nature. It's like trying to love a thunder-storm or a forest fire."

"Mountains don't care about thunderstorms or forest fires," she said. "Maggie's kind of like her. I'm more like you," she snuggled down into my chest. "I think if we wanted, we could just let them swirl around us and we'd kind of be like the calm at the center of their storm." She looked up at me. "I want you to be our dad, Mack. I never thought we'd... find anyone like you. Bri either." She cried a little bit. "We've been so scared and so lonely, Mack. You got room for girls like us in your life?"

I squeezed her little form close. "In my heart, Stokely. There's room in my heart. I've wanted someone like you and Maggie to love for years. I didn't think I'd ever have that. Bri never showed a speck of interest in having kids. I think you girls have messed up her life as much as you have mine. I've seen the way she looks at you. It's as if she woke up two weeks ago and discovered she likes being a mother. I've never seen anything affect her like you have."

"You were right about her," she confided. "She's awesome. She's kinda overwhelming sometimes. She decides to do something and just drags you along."

I laughed. "I know, right? She's always been like that. The first time I met her, a group of us from a college class went to an amusement park. She decided I was going to be her riding partner. I had actually come because I was interested in another girl. She dragged me off and we never saw the other people in our group again. We were twenty and I fell in love with her that day. She's like a virus. She just invades and takes over your life. We had our first fight a month after we got married."

"What did you fight about?" she asked.

"You're going to think this is ridiculous," I told her. "It was about shoes. She kept moving mine and putting hers on top of them. I had to dig through hers to find mine and she scuffed mine up. She says I'm obsessive/compulsive. Maybe she's right, but is it too much to ask for her to keep her shoes on her side of the closet? It just blew up from there. I drove her nuts and she made me crazy. I have a plan about what I'm going to do tomorrow. She's completely spontaneous. That's part of who she is and I love it, but it drives me crazy. She loves how organized I am but it makes her nuts. Those things clash, though, and we just get on each other's nerves."

She giggled. "Maggie and I fight about stuff like that, too. She spends half her life trying to find things she's lost. She gets up and just decides what we're going to do on the spur of the moment. I think we need to change a little bit, Mack. We need to go with the flow a little bit. They need to change some, too. They need to understand we like stuff to be in the right place. Do you think we can work it out?"

"I don't know," I said. "We've never had any reason to try. Bri and I have a really odd relationship. I love her more now than ever. I think she feels that way about me. She's not the type to talk about it. She just does things. We're closer now than we were when we were married and I like her. I didn't much when we were married. I loved her, but we were angry at each other all the time. We've kind of worked things out to where it's like we're married but we didn't have to change. I guess we were too immature and selfish, but it's worked for us. Maybe we just needed you to make us realize what we were missing. The idea of being a family is very exciting, but scary, too. What if we screw it up? We're risking everything on a gamble. I hate uncertainty."

"I know, but sometimes you just have to take a chance," she said. "You don't get anything good without taking a chance it could turn out bad."

I hugged her and she purred like a kitten. "You're the wisest eleven-year-old I've ever met," I said.

"I'll be twelve next month," she said.

She finished her muffin and we went back inside. The other two still weren't up and we took Granny for a walk. By the time we got back, the lazy ones were up and about. Bri was never a morning person and, evidently, Maggie wasn't either. They both looked like beautiful rumpled sleepy cats. They stretched and yawned a lot. When they got out of the shower, they were like human dynamos. Bri whisked us off to get a marriage license, file adoption papers, get temporary custody started and then off to dinner. We had seafood and the girls were in awe of how good it was. They were really in awe of the prices.