Vince the Realistic Dildo

This is my submission for the 2024 Literotica April Fools' Day Story Contest. Please vote if you enjoy it!

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Vince's Perspective:

Shit, I did it again. Victoria is looking at me with an eyebrow raised after I attempted to flirt. We just concluded our morning meeting with Jane, and Victoria knew all the right questions and had all the right answers. She's amazing, and she made me feel proud of my storefront designs, which led to the poor attempt at flirting, which then led to Victoria leaving my office as fast as possible. Jane hurries out behind her and gives me a death glare before she slams the door. Shit. I screwed up bad this time.

Jane is protective of Victoria, and she makes me extra nervous around her. Sometimes, I wonder if Jane even sees me as a person. I'm Vince, by the way. According to Jane, my blond hair, hazel eyes, and slim build do me justice, but my social awkwardness does me a great injustice. I would be head architect if I could get my awkwardness under control. Victoria is my favorite friend at work. She is hot, kind, intelligent, and I yearn for her attention. Her body is fit but not too fit. Her tight skirts and tailored jackets leave just enough to the imagination. Her face is rather angelic with small features and large eyes. Her black, shiny hair is like a luxurious frame for her cute face. To top it all off, she wears glasses like me. Well, her small, black framed glasses compliment her looks, while my gold framed glasses are hell bent on falling off my face at the worst times. I often wonder what Victoria thinks of me. She smiles and gets tongue tied when we talk about non-work stuff. I do that with everybody, but I do it more with her. She broke up with her long term boyfriend right before Christmas. I was more than ready to make a move, but Jane pounced first.

Jane declared Victoria to be her type the first day they met at the office. It made Victoria smile. I overheard the conversation. My jealously sprang forth at that point because Victoria is my type too, but I lack Jane's boldness to tell her. Now I watch the two beautiful women flirt and draw closer to each other every day. It drives me crazy in many ways, and I fear Jane knows my secret. I also think she plans to use it against me. Like I said, Jane makes me nervous. She's smart and beautiful like Victoria, but her boldness can be terrifying at times. I like to think she's my friend, but she'll do things to intimidate me, and that habit escalated after Victoria became available. I'll attempt to give you a rational account of what I'm talking about.

Here is how the intimidation started. Jane traps me in the supply closet with her after that morning's team meeting with Victoria. My terror rises as she glares at me like I had drowned her cat. She crosses her slender arms and leans against the closet door. She's going to make me talk. Her short white skirt and jacket, along with hot pink lips and jaw-length brown hair, make her an intimidating package of sex appeal. She knows she's the boss when the CEO isn't around. When I look at her, I can't help being attracted to her, but it's nothing like what I feel for Victoria. Besides, Jane isn't attracted to men. I know that for sure. She and I have a complicated past.

"Why the uncontrollable babbling in Victoria's presence, Vince?" Jane asks.

"Was I babbling that bad?" I gulp.

"Here's what I hear as soon as the meeting ends, 'Oh, Victoria, you are so wonderful. Can we have dinner? Can you cook?' Even I was offended."

"Offended? No way. We ate dinner a few weeks back and Victoria ordered takeout. It left me curious if she could cook or not. I was joking, honestly. I don't care if she can cook. What's the problem?"

Jane's scowl grows more pronounced.

"You're trying to flirt while being insensitive. Victoria's been through hell. I don't want you to hurt her."

"What? I admire Victoria. I would never hurt her."

"I know. That's why I'm being gentle with you, Vince. You hurt people's feelings a lot because your social skills suck. Victoria is trying to bounce back from Garrett's neglect. Your 'flattering' comment reminder her of him. You reduced her value to what she can do for you. Did you even hear yourself?"

My mouth dropped open at that point.

"Shit, did she take it that way?"

"I think she did. You told Victoria she was wonderful, then you said you wanted to have dinner with her. You were building up a good flirt. Then you asked if she could cook. Like... what the hell? Did you notice the hurt look that replaced her smile? You may as well said, 'You're wonderful, Victoria. I want you to cook for me because I'm excited by the idea of you serving me.' That sounded like Garrett. After they moved in together, he reduced her to a house slave for a year and a half before she could escape. She was working full time too. He promised they would have a wonderful, traditional life together. It was fucking wonderful for him and total shit for her, so she got out."

I stare at Jane in horror for a moment. I almost feel sick because of my careless words.

"Damn... I didn't know he treated her like that. How do you know all this?"

"She told me about it on Christmas. I sent Garrett a glitter bomb for New Year's Eve. I sent him another one for Valentine's Day. He's getting a third and final gift today since it's April 1st, and it will offend his olfactory nerves for months," she grins.

I gulp and nod. I already know not to cross Jane, and now I know not to talk out of my ass in front of Victoria.

"Shit... how do I fix this?" I ask.

"Tell me, Vince, what do you want from Victoria?"

I stare at Jane in confusion for a moment. I didn't realize I want things from Victoria, but I obviously do. Duh.

"I want her attention. She's beautiful, smart, sexy... I want to stare at her and talk to her all the time."

"You want to have sex with her, right?"

"Well, yeah, but I want to build a relationship first."

"Why is that necessary?" she asks.

"I... uh... isn't that traditional?"

Jane laughs and shakes her head.

"Vince, did it ever occur to you that you and Victoria can have sex for fun without the sad expectations of a traditional relationship?"

"Um, the thought occurred to me, but I doubted Victoria would be up for it."

Jane rolls her eyes and stares at me for a long moment. She's sizing me up or planning something deviant.

"Do you know what Victoria told me, Vince? She said she wishes men could pretend to be dildos sometimes. She said she could get more pleasure from them if they weren't busy taking what they wanted from her like she was a sex doll without feelings. For once, if a man could just prepare to pleasure her and be as reliable as a dildo, straight sex would be enjoyable again. God, the poor woman just wants the bare minimum. The bare fucking minimum, Vince. Garrett seriously damaged her view of men. So, stop assuming you know what other people want when you haven't even asked them yet. That's a great way to avoid social awkwardness."

"Ouch... poor Victoria. I didn't know it was that bad. Wait a minute, I thought you were in a relationship with Victoria. Why are you even talking to me about this? Why do you care if I hurt her feelings?"

Jane sighs and rolls her eyes.

"I don't have a cock, Vince. Victoria is bi. She likes cock, and she likes you. Well, when you're not putting your foot in your mouth. You probably scared her with your flirting today. Thus throwing a wrench into my plans."

"What plans?" I ask.

Jane narrows her eyes at me. That is when I first felt really intimidated. She steps away from the door and approaches me. I back against the filing cabinet as she glares up at me. I'm taller than her, but it doesn't aid my confidence in the situation.

"Vince, I'm sure you remember that time I let you fuck me, right?"

My body warms at the titillating memory. It's time for some backstory... a confession, really. In the past, Jane and I were close out of curiosity. We were both new to the office. She was a hot lesbian and I was a bashful nerd who didn't look half bad (her words, not mine). She was confident and sharp as a tack, but her lack of experience with men prevented her from integrating with the straight women in the office (her words, not mine). One evening after work, Jane and I had a few drinks at Joey's Bar and Grill. Two beers in, she is tipsy and confessing her desire to sleep with me. She calls it the "ultimate science experiment." In my current situation, I wonder if it was a mistake, but I honestly enjoyed it too much to care.

We both agree we're comfortable having experimental sex together, so we go back to her apartment to work out the details. She said I would be her first real cock and I could cum inside her if I wanted to, but I would have to do everything she said or the deal was off. I was horny as hell and more than willing to play along. Her goal was to attempt an orgasm with me, but she was doubtful it would happen. To prepare for the task, she says she wants me to masturbate so I will last longer for her. She obviously did her research. I agree, and we strip and climb into her bed to watch lesbian porn on her big screen. Masturbating together was a bonus. I watch Jane finger her gorgeous pink slit and got myself off in no time. She didn't pay much attention to me until it was time to touch. She orders me on my back and climbs over me. I ask her if she wants me to squeeze her gorgeous tits or kiss her, and she politely says no. She just wants me to lay there and let her ride my cock.

"Just pretend you're a dildo," she says, so that's what I did.

I felt honored to be her first cock. She wasn't my first pussy, but she was by far the hottest woman I had ever been with. I watch her beautiful face as she guides my tip against her wet opening. She lowers her hips some, letting me slip in a little. She's hot and perfect. Her brow creases as she works herself lower. She doesn't look like she's enjoying it. I'm disappointed for her, but her hot pussy on my shaft chases the disappointment away. She sinks lower, looking like she's in pain. She breathes out when her crotch finally comes to rest against my hips. I struggle not to squirm in her pussy's hot grip. I stay still and wait for her to take the initiative so she can enjoy herself, but I was already doubting my stamina. She felt as good as she looked. It was a fantasy come true for me, and I really didn't want to ruin the experiment for her by cumming too fast. I also felt like I had something to prove.

She rests on my cock for a moment. Then she changes the porn and focuses on an equally hot woman riding a man's cock. She puts the remote down and rubs her clit as she slowly rocks herself on my cock. She chews her lip and picks up the pace as she enjoys the other woman's pleasure. My eyes want to roll back as I enjoy the stimulation. I could easily cum again, but I was fighting not to. I concentrate on math problems to ease myself away from the edge. I notice Jane doesn't seem to be getting any hotter. She actually looks frustrated.

"How is it?" I ask.

"It's not bad, but it's not really good either."

She pauses the porn and stops rocking.

"Do you want me to do the work now and see if it feels better?"

"Sure," she sighs and climbs off me.

She plops down on the bed and spreads her legs wide. I eagerly climb between them. She turns the porn back on as I carefully penetrate her again. I keep my weight off of her and fuck her a few times. She gasps from the first thrust, but I think it was more from surprise than pleasure. Her brow creases again as I pump inside her. It feels great for me, but she looks unimpressed.

"Still not good?" I ask, while wondering how much longer I can last.

"Yeah, it's frustrating. It's like a sexy massage that doesn't really hit the right spots. At least we tried. You can finish up if you're ready. Want to kiss or something?"

I nod and kiss her passionately as I fuck her to my heart's content. She chuckles at my eagerness. God, she feels good. I gasp and tense a second later. My cock throbs with orgasm as I release my second load inside her.

"Wow, that's different," she chuckles as it drips out of her.

I thank her and kiss her before I climb off of her to rest. She thanks me for the experiment and says it went how she thought it would. Before I left her apartment that night, she orders me not to speak a word to anyone about the experiment or I would seriously regret it. I promise to keep our secret and head home to get some sleep. Our relationship changed after that. Jane's confidence went through the roof while I was left wondering if I could have done something more to help her orgasm. After a while, I wasn't sure how I felt about it. Don't get me wrong, I often masturbate to the memory, but I never liked the idea that I disappointed her. I hoped one day I might could make it up to her.

Anyhow, back to the current predicament. Jane has me locked in the office supply closet with her and just asked me to recall our sexual experiment from four years earlier, but now she is phrasing it like she did me a favor. If I'm being honest, it felt like she did me a huge favor by letting me fuck her and cum inside her, but she never called it a favor before.

"Yes, Jane. I remember every detail. It was an experiment that we both agreed to do. I know I enjoyed it more than you, but you got what you wanted, didn't you?" I ask.

She is still standing under my nose, frowning up at me.

"I don't know. I really wanted to have an orgasm with you. I was hoping I was bi, but I knew in my heart I wasn't. I feel cheated. Victoria and my ex girlfriend enjoy women and men. It's not fair that I can't. I was hoping to give it another try with you and Victoria."

I stare at Jane in disbelief for a moment.

"Um... are you talking about a threesome?" I gulp.

"Kind of. I sorta imagine you as an accessory. Not an active participant."

The simple mention of having sex with Victoria and Jane makes me raging hard. Damn it. Work boners are annoying. It is simply too good to be true. There has to be a catch.

"Jane, I can't believe what I'm hearing. You can't orgasm with me, but you still want to try to do it again and bring Victoria into it despite your jealousy of her liking me?"

Jane rolls her eyes and sighs.

"Vince, this is an incredible opportunity for all of us. I spent Christmas with Victoria and she helped me orgasm on a realistic dildo. The thing was a turn off for me at first. It looks like your cock to be honest, but she made me enjoy it. Using it was mind blowing with her. Now I want to get Victoria and myself something better to play with. You."

She grins as she watches my brow crease.

"You want me to be your and Victoria's realistic dildo?"

"Yes," she nods.

"Um, so my role is to be a toy and not a person?"

"Yeah. You don't even have to talk."

"Wow, that's really degrading."

"Oh, you don't want to do it then?"

"I didn't say that. I will happily do it," I nod.

The ache in my pants wouldn't let me say no. Who needs dignity when you can have group sex with the hottest women in the office?

"Wonderful! Thank you, Vince. Now, to make things perfectly clear. If we go through with this, you have to remember that it's not about your pleasure. Studies show that 91% of men always orgasm during sex while only 39% of women do. That is fucking sad and not at all surprising. Garrett never cared about Victoria's pleasure. He neglected her in every way. Now that I'm in the picture, Victoria always comes first. If you purposely take advantage of her or dampen her pleasure, the deal is off, and I'll make your life hell for disappointing her. You can back out of the deal with no consequences at any time. Got it?"

I gulp and nod.

"I got it. I'll even sign a contract if you want me to," I offer.

"I trust you more than that, Vince. Like I said, I know you're a good person under all that awkwardness," she smiles and looks me up and down.

Her eyes immediately settle on the angry bulge in my pants.

"Damn, I see you're excited about the arrangement. Does that hurt?"

"No. It's more frustrating than anything. It will probably bother me all day."

"Why not take care of it now? I won't tell anyone."

I stare in disbelief again.

"You want to watch me masturbate at work?"

"Not really, but it's more interesting than sitting at my desk. Besides, I want to learn more about you since you're going to be my and Victoria's new dildo."

"What if someone hears us? Don't you have work to do?" I stammer.

"I'm done with all my work for the week, and Victoria has an off-site meeting with the team. That's why the office is so quiet right now. So, go ahead, show me how fast you can cum," she grins.

Just when I think my day can't get any weirder.

"Uh... I don't think I can cum fast when I'm being ogled and judged in a non-sexual way."

"Oh, sorry. I can help then. I don't want to touch you right now or anything, but I don't mind you watching as I touch myself. I can pretend I'm Victoria if you want. Would that help?"

"Yes. That would get me off fast."

"Okay," she laughs and hikes up her skirt.

My skin feels overly hot as she reveals her perfect thighs and black panties. She quickly shoves her panties to the floor and steps out of them. Then she lifts her left leg and props her heel on a lower shelf. Her pussy isn't completely exposed, but it's more than enough skin to make my cock ache. I watch with my mouth open as she reaches between her legs and massages her fingers along her slit. I can see when she pushes her lips open and dips her finger in. I fumble with my pants at that point and quickly free my cock. I lean on the filing cabinet and stroke it slowly as I watch Jane touch herself.

"Mmm, you're a good size, Vince. Did you know that? I've watched enough porn to tell the difference."

"Thanks," I smile. "You're more beautiful than any porn star I've ever seen."

"Really? Thanks," she grins. "Let's see. Let me channel drama class for a minute... okay, I'll pretend I'm Victoria and you can pretend you two are actually fucking in the closet. 'Oh yes, Vince. I love your dick inside me. Oh God, yes. It's so big,'" she whimpers while fingering herself deeper. I can see arousal glistening on her fingers as she pumps them in and out of her slit. "'Fuck me harder, Vince. Please cum on my pussy then fuck it inside me. Oh God, yes, your cum is so thick and creamy in my slit. I love your cum all over my pussy. Oh God, I can't take it. I'm cumming on your cock, Vince. Fuck me harder!'" she moans before she bursts out laughing.

While she finds the act funny, I find it gloriously hot. I grunt and explode in a matter of seconds, pumping three white torpedoes in her direction. She gasps and jumps aside so they don't land on her skirt. Instead, they lose altitude and end up splattering her leg and shoe.

"Damn it, Vince! These pumps are Italian suede! Watch where you launch that shit!"

I burst out laughing at that point.

"Fuck, sorry, and thank you," I chuckle.

"God, you're welcome, I guess. Put your dick away so I can get to the lady's room before this shit dries."

Jane opens the door and runs off as I struggle to make myself decent. The office was still empty, so our activities go unnoticed. My mind is clear as I return to my desk to review my latest storefront designs. The reality of what happened was still sinking in. I had promised to be a sex toy for Jane and Victoria, and then I masturbated with Jane in the supply closet. I laugh at myself and scratch my head, wondering what else Jane was planning. My arousal prevented me from realizing how strange the request was and what it could lead to. I didn't see a negative side to it yet. Well, we were engaging in termination-worthy activity in the office, but the fun outweighs the risks for me. I wonder if Victoria would see it that way too. I was scheduled for a one-on-one meeting with her in the morning, and I planned to apologize for my careless flirting in our last meeting. Shit, something unnerving just occurred to me, has Jane already told Victoria about her intentions to make me their sex toy? My stomach turned nervous flips at the thought. I wouldn't be able to form a sentence in front of Victoria if she already knew what I agreed to. No. Jane loves surprising people. She surely didn't tell her... did she? Shit, I'll have to ask her before the next meeting.