Was I First? Epilog

Was I First? (Epilog)

By

littleOneWon

I thought that the ending to the original story was satisfactory, as did many of you. I understand those who wanted more information about what finally happened to the characters. Here it is: In the end, they all died!

All kidding aside, I value requests from readers. I also try to learn from your comments. Enough of you asked for a more complete ending to convince me to tell you how I see it.

If you are not satisfied with the original ending, read this epilog. Some of you will like it and some won't. Anyone who wants to write a different ending has my permission to do so.

Needless to say, this epilog won't mean much if you haven't read the original story.

l O W

For quite a while, she had convinced herself that she would never be doing this again. Nevertheless, here she was! She removed her Korg keyboard from its case and prepared to play it once again in front of an audience. The path leading to this performance had been a winding one filled with potholes.

She remembered this place very well. This was the town where things came to a head. The place where Charlie got sick. The place where Rollie wanted to celebrate his birthday in her room. The place where she denied him that pleasure. The place where, instead of that, she chose to stay the night with Charlie in his hospital room. The place where she decided to continue the tour with Charlie while her husband went home and filed for a divorce.

She remembered wondering if Charlie had faked his illness just to ensure that she would complete the tour. She didn't, however, wonder about that any longer. Charlie was diagnosed with lung cancer and began his intensive treatment sessions just a few weeks after that ill-fated tour ended. The cancer must have started that very night in this very town. She wondered about the hospital. Did they take any X-rays? Why didn't they find the cancer?

Thinking about those things led her to memories of how bad things were when the tour ended and she got home. Rollie had left her and filed for a divorce. Those were the darkest of days.

When she finally got a chance to meet with Rollie, it didn't go well. She remembered all of his "Was I First When?" statements. Then came his almost-poetic, soul-wrenching ending remarks.

When he finished, he locked eyes with her and waited. When she made no effort to retaliate or even respond, he rose from his chair and shook hands with his attorney. Then he walked over to the secretary and spoke to her for several seconds. As he was walking toward the door, everyone heard her say, "I will email it to you right away, Mr. Wilson."

As she watched her husband leave the room, she remained frozen in place. Her reason for requesting the meeting and all of her preparations for it had been misdirected!

She came prepared to convince the love of her life that she hadn't betrayed him. Her big gun was the offer to take a lie detector test. That would prove once and for all that she had never had sex with Charlie Nestle.

Furthermore, it would show that there hadn't even been anything of a sexual nature between them. She would prove there was no physical or emotional affair. Her answers would prove who was first in her heart. Those answers would prove once and for all that her husband had always occupied that position. The test results would put an end to the whole divorce mess.

All of her planning went down the drain when Rollie made it plain that he didn't care whether or not she had fucked Charlie or what place he held in her heart. That was not his primary concern. He was not accusing her of those things. He was charging her with putting him second to Charlie Nestle in every way that mattered with her actions. It was her actions that drove him to file for a divorce. No test of any kind could change her actions. It was a lost cause.

Hearing that, she realized that all of her preparations were in vain. She was loaded for bear, but the bear never appeared. As she thought about the things her son had told her, she realized that Rollie had always been saying exactly what he said that day. She had been hearing "adultery" when he said "actions."

She had just wasted an opportunity to correct his thinking about being second to Charlie. She had been frozen in place when he locked eyes with her awaiting a response that never came. Given what she had heard previously, why did she fail to see that his primary concern was that she repeatedly placed Charlie above him with her actions?

It was actually very simple. Rollie saw her actions as the ultimate act of spousal disrespect. His remarks made it as plain as could be. He waited for her answer. His eyes searched her soul. She was stunned and unprepared. It was like she was frozen in a block of ice. She had her chance, and she blew it.

She left without a word to anyone. Her attorney said something, but she ignored him. She went home in a daze. Her marriage had just been removed from life support and allowed to die.

She cried herself to sleep that night. She woke up in a cold sweat despite the warm sunlight coming through her windows. She remembered having a pleasant dream. She had dreamed of her wedding day.

How happy she was! She was with the one person that meant everything to her. They would have the best marriage ever! They would have children together. They would become a family. They would become grandparents. They would grow old together. Only death would be able to pry them apart.

That dream was followed by another one. It flashed her back to when Charlie had let her play that Korg keyboard. She loved it!

He told her she could have it if she would become his accompanist. She agreed to do it without any discussion with her husband. After that, she watched him heading to bed without a word to her. Even in her dream, she knew that she had made a big mistake. When she crawled into bed, he was (or pretended to be) already asleep.

Throughout their marriage, they had always kissed before entering slumberland at night. The theory was that if one of them passed away during the night, they would be able to take comfort from the fact that their last act together was to say "I love you" and seal it with a kiss. One might think that their reasoning was bizarre, but both of them had lost a parent to a peaceful but very unexpected nighttime death. It could be lurking in their genes. Nevertheless, the tradition was broken that night.

She woke up convinced that her unilateral action on that "Night of the Korg" was the root cause for all of the heartache that followed. Leaving her husband out of her decision was THE MISTAKE that caused everything else.

The next night, her dreams were invaded by a remembrance of the call she received from Randy when he informed her that Rollie had been saved from bleeding to death by an ER doctor. Randy didn't pull any punches when he read her the riot act. Then he broke her heart with his words about not being able to bring his future children to the loving house where he grew up.

She had recorded that conversation using an app that Rollie had installed on her phone. Rollie hadn't heard those heart-breaking words. She decided that he should hear them. She attached the recording to a message that she titled: "A Message from Randy." She hoped that seeing those words might result in him opening her message for a change. She added a message of her own at the end. He needed to hear that too. She listened to the recording one last time before sending it:

"Mom, why have you abandoned Dad for that egotistical bastard that wouldn't make a pimple on dad's ass? Why did you leave Dad with a nosebleed that ended up having to be packed in an emergency room to keep him from bleeding to death? Was it that important to have breakfast with your insufferable lover? Why have you thrown your marriage away?"

"How did you hear about your dad's nosebleed and that breakfast.?"

"I just got off the phone with him. They're holding him in the hospital until they know for sure that they have correctly identified and fixed the hemorrhaging blood vessel. He told me about his nosebleed problem and a lot more. Things I never thought I would hear about my parents. I thought you two had the best marriage ever. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"I've often dreamed of the day when I could show my future children -- your future grandchildren -- my room in the happy house that I grew up in. All of that just went up in smoke. Now, my children will be denied the opportunity to visit their grandparents in that house! Instead, what will it be? Perhaps it will be Thanksgiving with you and Christmas with Dad in your respective apartments. My God, woman, who are you, and what have you done with my mom?"

"It's not like that, Randy. We may have drifted apart for a while, but our marriage is still strong. Never fear, we will be right there in our house for you, Marie, and our grandchildren."

Yes, Rollie did open the message. When he heard the words of their son, a tear slipped down his cheek. He let his emotions calm down before he answered her message saying:

"Ann, I understand what Randy is saying and it breaks my heart, but it doesn't change anything. Remember, those words were the result of you putting Charlie above me repeatedly by your actions. Nothing I've heard today will make me change my mind. I still want a divorce!"

Her thoughts were interrupted and she returned to reality when the house lights blinked. It was a warning to the audience that the show was about to begin. She activated her keyboard and readied the connection to the PA system.

After doing that, her thoughts returned once again to those darkest of days. She remembered the first time that a small shaft of light invaded the darkness. There was a knock on her door. She looked out to find Rollie standing there. She swept the door open and he entered their house. It ended a long absence.

He said, "Our son and daughter-in-law called me a few minutes ago. They said they wanted us to call them back. They advised us to put the call on speaker so both of us could hear them. I'm just here to keep them happy."

When the call came through, it started with a sad announcement by Marie: "Last night, my dad passed away. He began hemorrhaging intermittently yesterday. They were able to stop the bleeding for a few hours, but they made it plain that the game was over. He had hours--not days--left."

Upon hearing that, he wanted to set some things straight. He handed me something that he had written previously. First, he had a message for Ann. He thanked her for helping him do something that he loved during what turned out to be some of his last days on earth. He was referring to her contribution to his resurrected singing career. Her accompaniment improved his singing tremendously. He told her that she was a special person and the very image of a dedicated wife.

Then his message turned to Rollie. First, he admitted that he tried very hard to take Ann for himself. He said, "I'm ashamed to say that I wanted Ann even before Mandy got sick. After I lost Mandy, I redoubled my efforts to win Ann. That's when I came up with the idea of reviving my singing career and having Ann perform with me. I didn't, however, think that I had much of a chance of convincing her to do it.

"When she accepted my offer, I was amazed! I was sure that I could take her away from you if I could just get her alone. I was unable to get her alone until you played into my hands by restarting your magic shows. As soon as you began appearing by yourself, I began my full-court press.

"I arranged things so we could be together in those Oklahoma cabins and some hotel rooms. On a few occasions, I even got her into my bed, but she never responded to me. She wouldn't allow me to express my love for her. She rebuffed me in every way on every occasion. I tried everything and gained nothing. She is your wife forever. That's what she told me vocally and she proved it with her actions.

"I know many things seemed suspicious to you. You probably thought you had struck gold when you found a keycard to my room in her luggage.

"Little did you know that when we were touring, I kept losing my keycard. I finally resorted to getting two cards for my room and giving her one to keep for me. She usually kept it in her purse. Several times she rescued me from my forgetfulness. At the time in question, she kept her key to your room in her purse and relegated mine to her luggage. It was not some lover's plot. It was just her habit of covering for my forgetfulness.

"Needless to say, I celebrated when I learned that you had left her. Perhaps she would finally be vulnerable to my advances. Alas, she wouldn't even talk to me. She saw me as the person that had ruined her life. I gained absolutely nothing. I knew it for certain when she returned my gift, the Korg!

"You don't know what a treasure you have, Rollie. Divorcing her will be the worst mistake of your life.

"I will be seeing Saint Peter or maybe Satan soon. If it's Satan, I just might be getting a reward. If it's Saint Peter, I will probably be punished for what I've done to you and Ann. I can't lie to him. He knows what I've done. I can only hope that this confession and apology to the two of you will give me a few points in his book.

"It is my last wish that you both will accept my words of truth. I hope that they will help you realize what a winner you have in each other. I hope that your marriage survives and that the two of you grow old together."

As the message ended, Marie said, "It may be too little too late, but I know that on his deathbed he regretted what he tried to do to the two of you."

Rollie stepped up and expressed their condolences to Marie. He also asked about the funeral and was told that Charlie had chosen to be cremated with no funeral. Then she said, "Daddy Wilson, my dad's last request was that I send the Korg keyboard back to Mommy Wilson. Would you allow me to do that?" Rollie did not object.

After ending the call, Rollie turned to Ann saying, "Can you swear to me that Charlie's words are true? How can I accept his words over your actions?"

She answered, "Honey, I've thought about everything that happened to us. I've examined my mind every day since you left me. I have concluded that I made a wreck out of our relationship and our marriage. The keyword is 'wreck.'

"I was driving along in a perfect marriage heading towards paradise when something dangerous suddenly appeared on the road. Without thinking, I swerved and left the road. I was officially in a wreck!

"That wreck interrupted my goal to get to paradise. All of a sudden, I found myself in hell. My goal hadn't changed. It was still to get to paradise. It was never my goal to swerve into hell. To get back on the road to paradise, I had to fix some major damage. It was not an easy job.

"To a casual observer, and even to you, it might look like I left the road on purpose. Put yourself in my position. What could I do to convince you that it was not my intention to leave the road? How could I prove it was not on purpose? I couldn't turn back time and undo the accident! I could only try to convince you that my goal had never changed.

"Do you see my predicament? I had only one tool at my disposal. Only one mechanism to use. I had to rely on words. You wanted action, but I was left with only words. I used them as convincingly as possible."

She could see that she had his attention, so she continued. "One last thing, Rollie, please consider this truth: WRITING OR SPEAKING WORDS IS, IN ITSELF, AN ACTION!"

I would like to think that my words won the day, but it was actually Marie's words that were spoken a couple of weeks later. She was on the phone together with Randy once again. We had them on speaker once again. This time she said, "Mommy and Daddy Wilson, prepare to be Grandma and Grandpa Wilson. I'm pregnant! Get your act together. You are going to have a grandson!"

After many words of congratulations accompanied by both laughing and crying, we found ourselves in a loving embrace. We were so happy! We remembered Randy's words about bringing his child - our grandchild -- to see and experience the house of love where he grew up. That was the day when we had no choice but to heal our wounds and become a team again. The divorce that had been on hold was now off of the table. That was, indeed, a glorious event-filled day!

Back to reality. Back to the performance at hand. Ann watched the house lights dim. She began playing "Do You Believe in Magic" on the Korg keyboard. There was thunderous applause as Rollie took his place under the brightly-lit sign that read, "ROLLIE THE GREAT." The show was on!

They usually managed to appear together at least a couple of times a month. She played the keyboard while he did his solo tricks and then she became his assistant for the rest of the show.

After many well-attended magic shows, they found themselves looking forward to a very special performance. They would be appearing at the Magic Cave and Rollie would be inducted into their hall of fame!

It would be a special show in more ways than one. Randy and Marie would be in the audience. Sitting next to them would be the only person in the whole world that called Ann "Grandma" and Rollie "Grandpa."

Both Rollie and Ann were thinking that it just might be appropriate to let their performing days end with that hall-of-fame show. Perhaps they should just concentrate on being the best grandparents ever!

And they did!

The End