Watching Her

It was the first time since she left the house, that she had even thought about the mirror, she glanced up towards the carpeted stairs and then across at the kettle, she again nervously bit her bottom lip as she thought about the two cigarettes left in the pack and then headed to the kitchen.

***

Before bed Lucy's resolve and determination had long disappeared as she sat on the stool in front of the mirror with the silver hairbrush in her hand, she hadn't done much brushing, as her Reflection had kept suggesting further deep inhaling on the cigarette.

Lucy smiled and copied, she deep down knew and needed that what Reflection requested was required, to have the nicotine rich smoke deep within her lungs. As her cheeks collapsed, her chest rose as she enjoyed the putrid smoke filled the waiting cavity, they then stared at each other as they held the smoke for what felt like an eternity before exhaling. The sudden delightful rush of nicotine flooding her bloodstream produced a euphoric feeling for Lucy, before the repeated the process, over, and over again.

Only after five deep drags did the Reflection let Lucy start brushing her hair to get ready for bed, the cigarette was then dangled in the corner of the mouth, the gentle exhales pushed out through the nose in almost perfect syncopation with the strokes of the brush kicking off dust particles in the air which then spun in the light produced from the lamp danced with the creamy smoke from her exhales as they bounced off the mirror.

The hair was brushed, and the cigarette stubbed out, the Reflection looked down at the pack and raised a cheeky inviting eyebrow, Lucy again nervously bit her bottom lip, there was a single solitary cigarette left in the pack. Does she have it now, or in the morning doing her make up.

She glanced towards the bathroom she still had to wash her face and teeth before bed.

The decision was made for her, as her Reflection pulled out one of her cigarettes, conducted a double pump inhale, held the smoke smiled and forcefully barrelled her exhale of smoke directly towards the mirror and as the smoke dispersed it was clear it was just Lucy's normal self again in the mirror. With her own nineteen butts in the reeking ashtray.

Chapter 15

Lucy lay there after dreaming about smoking. Smelling the almost still thick smoke-tinged air of her bedroom for a few seconds with her eyes shut waiting almost impatiently for the alarm to go off, she had already peeked the time and confirmed that it was about to go, it took what felt like years.

Eventually the green lines aligned to 6 00 and the incessant beeps started. Lucy smiled as she enthusiastically whacked the top to stop the noise, and then calmly reached around and turned it off.

She strode to her dressing table in the darkness, her hand riding along the bed as guide and turned on the angle light and stared at the mirror as she sat down. Her face was lit surrounded by the darkness. She leaned forward and with her nails flicked the sleep out of the corners of her blue eyes and smiled invitingly, waiting for her Reflection to arrive.

She rubbed her lips together as she studied her face, her moisturiser routine, and good sleep was doing wonders for her face, she was proud of her slim frame, her straight nose, soft pink lips and rosy cheeks.

As she stared intently and blinked a couple of times, and as she opened her eyes and focused again on her face she watched with a wry smile on her face as she could see her face slowly morph. Her crow's feet in the corner of eyes deepened her cheeks became more pronounced. There was even a hint of double chin. She smiled and her Reflection smiled back, the wrinkles on her forehead, and her dimples were larger, there was a small crease now extending from both corners of her mouth from continuously putting cigarettes between her lips. Lucy had aged as she watched. But still looked to her absolutely amazing.

"Morning you!" they said to each other as they grinned as they pulled the final cigarette out of the pack. "Don't worry, I will definitely buy some more for us on my way home tonight!" Lucy said confidently and nodded. "As I obviously can't sit here every day and watch you tease me with cigarettes!"

Her Reflection grinned bashfully as if to say that sounds good with the fresh cigarette protruding from her lips, they brought the lighter to the tip, their cheeks collapsed in unison as they pulled hungrily pulled the smoke into their waiting lungs, and then after a count of two exhaled a thick grey cone to the ceiling.

Lucy copied her Reflection as they rolled the cigarette tip long the edge of the ashtray and watched as she gently knocked the tip of ash off and ran her tongue along her lips as she thought. "Hmmm can I wait until after work?" she asked the mirror as she studied herself in the mirror, she gulped at the suggestion of why she wanted to buy another pack as they then both instinctively took another long deep drag.

They exhaled and repeated the drags before the cigarette was soon finished. With a sighed exhale Lucy stubbed the cigarette out. Both her and her Reflection both gently coughed once finished. Lucy looked up her Reflection who just shrugged her shoulders. As if to say it happens as she naturally pulled another cigarette out of her endless pack. Lucy looked in the empty one in her side of the mirror as her reflection lit the cigarette, exhaled a cloud of smoke and as it dissipated Lucy's face morphed back to normal, and the smoking reflection disappeared. With a sudden feeling of emptiness. Lucy got on with her makeup and daily preparation.

***

"Morning!" Tammy excitedly bounced up from her desk as Lucy walked into the office.

"Hey!" Lucy smiled. "It's pouring out there. I am drenched!

"Yes, tell me about it, I think my shoes are ruined just running from the car to here. Did you have a good evening?" She asked with over bounding enthusiasm.

Lucy raised her eyebrow "Yeah, Sunday night alone in house...if you call that fun?" she replied as she gulped her McDonalds coffee.

"Oh, you just seemed excited to get home after our walk...I thought you were doing something really interesting!" Tammy smiled trying to tease more out of her.

"I think you doth think too much Tam, other than sorting out some more drawers I didn't do anything more exciting."

"Ah, sorry Lucy, I thought that you might be, you know, seeing someone!" She grinned.

Lucy laughed hard and then shocked herself as she coughed and briefly wiped her nose with the back of her fingers. "No, silly, don't think anything stupid like that.

Tammy looked with her concerned face "You are feeling okay Luce. Sounds a little croaky, like you are coming down with something. We didn't get too cold on our walk?"

Lucy chuckled and nodded, "I am fine, too much dust from cleaning the house, just had a bit of scratchy throat at times over the weekend, but I have taken a small dose of my medicine this morning, and I will be just fine. I just need to get another pack of...Lemsips...on the way home!" Lucy said slowly trying to convince herself and then paused as she realised what words had just tumbled out of her mouth and then shook her head before taking off her dripping wet coat and hanging it on the back of her office chair.

Tammy grinned as crossed her index fingers of both hands across to make an X and offered then up "Well, you seemed fine yesterday, but please stay away from me with your cough and sore throat, I don't want them!"

Lucy put her hands up as if to say don't worry I won't come anywhere near you. "Anything exciting in the inbox?"

"Nah!"

"Good!"

***

They both picked up their coffee mugs and slurped the drink and then chewed on their sandwiches as they glanced out the staffroom window as the black clouds made it look impressively dark even for lunchtime as the heavy rain battered the window.

Lucy leant her head against the window and sighed, her breath steamed and clouded up the window with condensate "I hate Mondays!" she grinned and wiped with window with the side of her hand and glanced down almost longingly at the smoking shelter down below.

"Just be grateful you can stay in here and that you are not a slave to 'evil' nicotine and can stay warm!" Tammy said breaking Lucy's stare as they then both peered through the window at a huddle of people in the carpark hiding under coats and collection of large red and yellow golfing umbrellas whilst trying to stay dry whilst smoke drifted up from around them whilst they furiously smoking their cigarettes.

Lucy looked up and again caught her reflection in the window and gulped before looking back down at her colleagues. "Yeah...I guess we do have the benefits..." she said loudly and turned to the window "but they probably have some too?" she muttered questioningly quietly under her breath as she smiled and then ran her tongue along her teeth trying and failing to find the taste of the bitter remnants of her pre-breakfast cigarette. Still wishing she could have enjoyed a second, as she then looked at the window with the raindrops streaking down outside of the glass and locked sight on her reflection again backed by the large yellow umbrella and winced, then raised her head off the cold window and quickly gulped her coffee and they sat there in silence as they both continued to eat their lunch.

Chapter 16

Lucy pulled down her hood of her raincoat as she walked around the corner shop, she did drop a pack of lemon Lemsips and strawberry Strepsils into the basket just in case the tickle on her throat was developing into something. She continued strolling around and put another bottle of Chardonnay into the basket, as well as a couple of treats of a chocolate bar.

There was no decision to make as she reached the checkouts and with a glance around her, she headed straight to the tobacconist queue, as she stood patiently, she clocked the advert for the lottery and dug into her handbag and got the ticket from last week out that she completely forgotten about.

The girl behind the counter beeped through the wine and did that obvious eyeing up to check that Lucy was over age before putting the bottle in the bag. "Anything else love?"

Lucy handed over the ticket "Oh, just check this one, I don't think I have won anything!" She grinned hopefully as the girl zapped the ticket. The machine beeped.

"Congratulations you've won..." the lady paused with anticipation with a big smile "...20 quid 80!"

Lucy laughed at the pitiful amount "In that case I will buy two packs of B&H golds as well please!" she grinned as she got her card out to pay the difference as she studied the counter and bit her bottom lip "Oh, and I better get another lighter as well" she said picking up the yellow Bic from the counter, she turned it so the lady could zap it with the barcode reader before dropping it into the bag. She paid up, pulled her hood up and headed out the door into the rain.

***

Lucy looked up at her rear-view mirror and again checked her face, she dug into her handbag and reapplied her lipstick, that instantly gave her little boost with her now pinker lips. She started the car and the windscreen wipers started to go with the heavy rain, the heat from her body had steamed up the windscreen, she turned on the blowers and as she waited for the screen to demist, she leant over, opened the glovebox on her car and dug into the bag on the passenger side and smiled as safely stowed the pack of cigarettes and lighter she swung the door shut and stared at it for second. Not one hundred percent sure why she put them in there.

She put her seatbelt on and ran her hands through her hair as the condensation was slowly blown away. She glanced back up and the mirror and confidently smiled at herself as she put the car in gear and slowly checking around, she quickly accelerated her car forward.

***

Lucy dropped everything in the porch except for the new pack of Benson and Hedges and ran up the stairs ripping the cellophane off as she went, it slowly drifted to the floor halfway up the stairs. Lucy took a deep breath of air as she sat down flipped open the pack, positioned it in the right place on the dressing table, tidied her wet and windswept hair and waited impatiently in front of her Reflection.

She tapped her nails on the pack and noted in the mirror than the paint was chipped. She made a mental note to redo them again this evening. As she waited, she watched herself in the mirror, calmly getting her breath back from sprinting up the stairs. She looked down at the pack and shrugged her shoulders and thought about getting a head start so she pulled a cigarette out.

Lucy confidently placed the filter between her lips again looking around in either mirror for a hint of her smoking Reflection. She leaned forward with the cigarette protruding from her face and then sat back, she removed the cigarette, bit her bottom lip, and picked up the lighter, placed the cigarette back between her lips and flipped open the lid to produce a flame. 'Sod you!' she said to herself as her cheeks collapsed around the cigarette as she pulled the smoke into her lungs, the first cigarette in twelve hours, she pulled again before exhaling towards the mirror. Her shoulder sagged as she relaxed as the wave of anticipated nicotine got to work. She looked through the exhaled cloud of smoke at her cheekily grinning Reflection.

"Bitch, you wanted me to go first!" She snarked at her Reflection as it grinned back, they replaced the cigarette back between their lips, and their cheeks collapsed deeply again in unison as they both pulled a large lungful of smoke deep into their chests. "But God I am sure I needed this!" she said to her Reflection whilst both were holding the cigarette up to the mirror and watching the smoke lit by the light drift off the tip up towards the ceiling. She looked away from the cigarette and to her Reflection and whispered, "But thank you!" as she smiled at herself and they both took another long drag, holding the smoke for what felt like ages before releasing large volume of smoke into the room.

That first cigarette of the evening very quickly became a second, which with no argument from either of them was swiftly followed by a third, But Lucy clocked that her Reflection disappeared long before she had actually finished the third cigarette. She was so lost in pulling and enjoying the smoke in her wanting lungs, that she really didn't care. She stubbed it out with a stream of smoke still pouring out of her nose, as she was utterly delirious and giddy again. Her head felt light and her feet like concrete as she slowly made her way down the stairs, she almost slipped on the cellophane on the steps but managed to catch herself on the handrail.

She got to the bottom of the stairs and realised she had dropped everything so headed to the porch and retrieved her shopping and then swiftly opened the wine and poured it into a large glass. She washed the taste of the now rather delightful bitter taste from her mouth with a large gulp crisp wine, before opening the fridge and getting a microwave cottage pie for one out.

Chapter 17

Lucy had felt almost disappointed smoking her two cigarettes before bed. Her Reflection just didn't appear. It didn't matter how many deep inhales, or smoke rings, or French inhales she did, the Reflection just didn't want to make an appearance.

One side it didn't matter, as Lucy still very much enjoyed the cigarettes, but it concerned her, what had happened to "it", it was as if she was sitting there smoking on her own.

After spending a great deal of time that night dreaming of her smoking Reflection. She was rather relieved in the morning when she jumped out of bed and immediately sat down on the stool that once she positioned the cigarette between her lips her Reflection appeared with its huge, big grin. It was almost saying 'Did you miss me?' as they flipped open the lighter and got the cigarette alight with a couple of deep drags.

Eventually after yet another cigarette Lucy got herself to work, she was running a little late she explained to Tammy was because the queue for the Drive thru at McDonalds was longer than usual as she picked up her morning latte, she didn't dare say it was because she just had to sit with her Reflection for yet another cigarette before leaving the house.

"Why are you so mopey?" Tammy asked in her usual bouncy way.

"I am not!" Lucy hastily snapped back.

Tammy put her hands up defensively "Oh, wow, did you get out of bed the wrong side?"

"Tam, leave it, I am fine!" she grizzled as she angrily tapped away on her keyboard.

Ultimately at the end of the day, Lucy just couldn't wait to get home and back to sanctuary of her bedroom.

For the next couple of days cigarettes would be smoked sitting in front of the mirror whether her Reflection was there or not, mornings and at night. On Wednesday on the way home she had to buy another pack for the house. She finished the last one just before leaving the house, she was cross with herself as she had forgotten about the one in the glovebox until she had sat down in the car and looked in that direction. She had twisted the review mirror and rubbed her lips together and then looked at herself smiling back and then glanced down at the glovebox again. She opened the glovebox and removed the cellophane; 'One here wouldn't hurt before home' she argued to herself as she pulled the filter out and placed it between her lips and with a drag on the cigarette whilst glancing at her face in the rear-view mirror she sat in her car and dragged hard on the cigarette. Siting in the small space she soon realised that the car was filling up with smoke and quickly wound the window down letting the smoke out, and the fresh air in.

With the butt nearly finished she looked around, shrugged her shoulders, took one last longing drag and then flicked it over the window, her exhaled smoke followed it out of the gap.

***

On Friday morning Lucy shuffled into the office again a little late carrying her cup of coffee. She may have sat in her car in the carpark and had opened the pack in the glovebox for just for one more before work as the one in front of the mirror had been a while ago.

Tammy bounced up from her seat "Morning you!" she smiled and sniffed the air "Christ you been to Debenhams perfume counter already this morning?"

Lucy laughed "No, I may have gone a bit mad with the body spray and granny's perfume this morning, sorry!" she sheepishly grinned. As she took of her coat and hung it up on the chair.

Tammy smiled back "So are we going to go out tonight? Its FRIDAY!" she shouted. "Parrrtay!" she grinned and did a little jig.

Lucy looked up and bit her bottom lip "I'm knackered, it has been a hard week. I was actually thinking of a night in!" She frowned as she adjusted her skirt and then sat down and wiggled her mouse for her computer to come alive.

Tammy leaned over the officer divider "Oh, how about in that case can I come over and see your now house then?" Tammy asked with a hopeful face on. "We can have pizza or Chinese and stay in?"

"At mine?" Lucy asked confused.

Tammy looked at Lucy with a big grin "Well out of the two of us, you've got the new house and you live on your own!"

Lucy kept nervously biting her bottom lip and wiggled her head side to side as she weighed it up. "Er, yeah why not!"

"Whoop, Whoop, I will get the wine on my way home. Partay at Lucy's!" Tammy exclaimed as she continued her little dancing jig, her large breasts bouncing up and down in their bra as she wiggled and jiggled. On her side of office divider Lucy quietly panicked noisily tapping her fingers in a rhythmic patter on her desk as she was worried about how clean her house potentially was for guests. "Shall I come around for seven?" Tammy invited herself.