We All Grieve Differently

Feeling her squirming around on top of me drove me wild. I wanted to kiss her again, but I was afraid it would be weird so instead I grabbed the backs of her legs just below her butt and pulled her up toward my face. She didn't miss a beat, shuffling her knees up my body and over my shoulders bringing her pussy to rest on my waiting mouth.

I started off by licking the whole length of her labia up and back a few times in slow succession, then I started making big sweeping circles which she really seemed to enjoy. After a few dozen circles my tongue poked into her hole and the taste of her became richer and more acute. I had never put my tongue into a girl before and I found that I really liked it.

So, I pushed it out as far as I could trying to see how deeply I could penetrate my sister-in-law with just my tongue. I had drool and juices dripping down my cheeks and jaw and I could feel that I was already getting hard again.

"Now suck my clit, hard" Sarah barked rocking her ass back and her pelvis forward, pulling my tongue from her cunt to her clit.

I sucked her clit between my lips and I simultaneously darted the tip of my tongue over the portion in my mouth. As Sarah came I looked up at her face and found that her eyes were tightly closed and her lips were pursed in a small, tight circle causing her rapid breaths in and out to make a slight whistle.

When she finished coming she slumped her elbows onto the arm of the couch. I wiggled out from underneath her and got to a semi-standing position with one foot on the floor and one knee on the couch and my gaze locked on her pussy and ass on full display with her on all fours.

Up until that moment I had probably had sex about a dozen times and I had worn a condom each time. I didn't even spare a thought towards protection when I grabbed her hips and sunk my now fully rehardened cock into her.

"Yes Drew. Take me, fuck me." Sarah muttered

Something about the words 'take me' prompted me to gather handful of her hair and pull back pretty hard while thrusting my cock into her from behind.

"Mmh. Yes Drew, take it." Sarah muttered. "Take it. Take it. Take it. Take it" she continued, her pitch getting higher with each repetition.

I wasn't totally sure what this was doing for Sarah, but I felt one hundred percent fully focused for the first time in weeks, maybe for the first time ever. After pounding her from behind for a bit I realized I wanted to fuck her in a different way, but how? The answer flashed in my brain almost concurrently with the question. I pictured Sarah on her back with my hand around her throat.

I pulled out of her without releasing my grasp on her hair. I yanked her up off the arm of the couch and stood up next to her. She lunged at my cock, pulling my hand with her hair and for a second her mouth felt so good I thought I might come in it for the second time that night.

But my vision flashed in my head again, and while still holding her hair in my right hand I forced my left around her throat. Her eyes narrowed and for an instant I thought I had gone too far but she pulled her head back to free her mouth from my dick before looking up at me and silently mouthing the word 'yes' for encouragement.

I pushed her on to her back on the couch releasing her hair but leaving my hand around her throat. My now free hand guided my cock back inside of her before shifting to the arm of the sofa to take some of the pressure off her neck. Sarah squirmed and bucked which caused me to stop pumping for a split-second thinking once again I had done something wrong.

"Take it" she squeaked once more

I audibly growled following this encouragement, pumping my cock in and out of Sarah's cunt harder than I would have ever dared with my previous partners. My eyes were shut tight and I began to moan, signaling that I was getting ready to come.

"Not inside" Sarah stammered, lightly slapping my face to get my attention. "Don't come inside" she repeated.

I pulled out and gave my cock a few quick strokes causing three or four salvos of come to land on Sarah's belly and tits.

I fell back towards the other arm of the couch and we both stayed on our respective sides panting for a few minutes. By the time we had both caught our breath I was starting to wonder what I should say. Once again, Sarah took the decision out of my hands as she looked across the couch at me.

"We were trying for a baby, so I'm not on the pill." She said almost apologetically.

"it's fine. I'm not bothered" was all I could pathetically manage in reply.

"Thank you for doing that. I think it helped me and I hope it helped you too." she said to me as she began to collect her clothes.

She walked toward the steps before turning and saying "Have a good semester, Andrew."

And with that she slowly climbed the steps leaving me there bewildered. I gathered my own clothes and was almost dressed when I heard the shower go on upstairs. I started to move toward the steps before ultimately turning toward the front door.

I sat in my car in Mom and Dad's driveway for a while waiting to muster the courage to walk in. I left here a few hours earlier as a grieving son and brother, but I was returning feeling more and more like a monster. Why did I do that? How could I do that to Brian? How would I ever look at Sarah again?

I tried to go and see her the next day, but she wasn't home. Ditto the next two days and eventually I ran out of time and had to go back to DC. A few times during the semester I thought about calling her, but my mind was put at ease during conversations with my mother where she told me that Sarah seemed to be doing as well as could be expected.

My next trip home was spring break and I was hoping to be able to talk to Sarah then to make sure that everything was fine, but that wasn't to be the case. The day before break started, I was in the computer lab checking email for the first time in a few days. It must seem crazy to anyone who didn't live back then that we would regularly go days between checking email, because most of us didn't have computers in our rooms.

I had an email from Sarah:

Drew,

Thankfully we have a unique last name so I was able to figure out your email address. At least I'm pretty sure there aren't any other ADivincenzo's going to CU right now. Just to be sure I'll be a bit vague: Thank you, thank you, thank you for your help back in January. I don't think I'll ever be able to explain why that is what I needed at that moment, and I really do hope it was what you needed too.

Please don't beat yourself up. You did nothing wrong!!!

I'm not where I want to be yet (and I'm sure you probably aren't either) but I'm closer and closer every day.

I think it goes without saying that we don't ever need to talk about any of this again.

X Sarah

After a few years Sarah finally moved back to Georgia for good. Shortly after I graduated from college, we heard that she was dating again and as fate would have it, we both actually ended up getting married in the summer of '02.

Throughout it all we gained and lost touch a few times via changing email addresses, MySpace and ultimately Facebook but we never did mention what had happened that winter's night. Not until another similarly cold day in the late fall of 2022 when Sarah made a surprise appearance at my mother's funeral.

Mom was 92 when she died and I was 46, but it still hit me really hard. I was her baby and we always had a very special relationship. I almost didn't recognize Sarah when she walked up to my wife Melissa and I and offered her condolences. She gave Melissa a little hug before turning to me.

"I'm so sorry for your loss Drew. She was one of a kind and I will truly miss her" she said earnestly and then she held her arms out to offer me a hug as well. With her arms draped over my shoulders her lips went to my ear.

"Let me know if there's anything I can do to help you deal with the pain. Anything" she finished emphasizing with a squeeze.

And she left me standing there awash again in a mixture of sadness, grief and slowly rising, shameful lust.