We Never Said Once Ch. 01

This story has three parts, and I hope you all enjoy it. The last part is just about finished, so I hope to release the 2nd and 3rd parts within a couple weeks. I'm releasing this into EC even though it does contain, at a minimum, one loving wife. It's just that I'd sooner die than release anything else into that cesspool again. Also, note that as with most things, I do take liberties with the English language. I've gotten some comments in the past about it, and I didn't feel like it needed to be said, but mayhaps I was wrong. I'm a line stepper, and as you read my stories you may happen across words that aren't in a dictionary. Let's just have a simple understanding that I realize they don't truly exist, every last one of them I've ever used, and instead of letting it ruin a story for you, realize it's intended, and that I used it because I want us to have something in common, together, if even for just these few moments. I don't know if it's a trust thing, where when readers get a few thousand words in, and feel betrayed by it, but you can trust me, and it's for us. Now, sit back, relax, and prepared to be disappointed by my inept writing, instead of my grammar...

Becca looked okay, and maybe that's being generous. Chin-length dirty-blonde hair, straightened flat, big blue eyes, thin and athletic build, slim and in good shape, really good shape. But there was just something a bit offsetting about her. By that I mean the way she carried herself, eternally awkward, if you will. She had finished a show only a few minutes prior, and was speeding out of the side exit of a little restaurant, and onto the handicap ramp that led down to a gravel parking lot where she'd parked a few hours earlier.

Nick was headed into that same restaurant, via the same entrance, a place so out of town and so far from where they'd grown up, that she was the last person he thought he'd randomly bump into. But he did, quite literally. She was coming out right when he was to the door, and with her head down lost in thought, she ran smack into him.

The collision stopped her cold, and she nervously tucked her hair behind her ear and looked up, and her heart froze when she saw it was him. Eyes huge, breath taken, mouth opened, and yet nothing would come out. It had been their first time seeing each other in years, and she suddenly felt like it might be her last ever as her chest painfully tightened.

Nick wasn't sure how things really were between them, but the stunned look on her face gave him an inkling that something was there, and for better or worse, it wasn't dormant. He steadied her after their bump, and realizing it was her, gave Becca a slow and deliberate once over, and kindly said, "You look good, I like your hair like that," She didn't look good, but her hair did look better, couldn't be worse. She looked alright, and that's all anyone would say about her looks; but there was just something about her that you couldn't put a finger on that made you kind of want to, particularly after you knew her. I think to put it plainly, her eccentric ways were what would make you curious. For him, it was both that and their past.

She smiled and looked away, "I quit drinking and smoking, about two years ago, just these now, mostly when we have a gig," she said, raising a pack of cigarettes up and talking quickly, in a rapid sort of run-on.

True to her nature, Nick found it a strange place to go right off... "Still never started."

She smiled, "I always liked that about you. Did I tell you I got married? Same name."

Again, weird, "But not the same-" he said, remembering how fondly they'd got along during those days. His eyes glazed over with a glassy pale-white sheen mid-conversation, as the movie of those fourteen months or so played at hyper-speed on the backs of his eye-lids for his brain to view again as if they were silver-screens. It viewed like a porno, everywhere, all the time, and his brain enjoyed the show with imaginary popcorn and fictitious chocolate covered almonds. And in a few seconds, he could feel it all again, his first. Well, his second love, but his first first.

"No, not the same." It wasn't conceit on Nick's part, nor a slight to her husband on her part, rather an obvious truth. This Nick was dark, like he lived at the beach, without the leathery handbag skin to go with it, dark brown hair, almost buzzed, well-trimmed beard which was ground down almost to stubble, dark brown eyes, none of it was what Becca would pick as her ideal, but together, absolutely.

"How long did it take you, to get over me?" Nick asked bluntly, starting in quick on her, but with an entirely different set of questions in mind. He wanted her to know this was not going to be a simple passing.

"I don't know." She did know, seeing him, stalking him mostly online, she knew.

"You know it wasn't you, it was the shit you were doing. It was never you."

"I know, I mean, I didn't know, then, but I know." There was still a lot of pain there, and that fact had kept him away for years, not for himself, but for her.

She had a thin, green thrift-store sundress on, low cut purely for the style of it, as her cleavage was just depressing when compared to other girls. Nick liked her breasts though, or he did at least, when she was seventeen and eighteen. During an awkward silence, she lit a cigarette and nervously fidgeted with it.

"Do you still think about me, you know, or I guess... us?" he had unintentionally gotten closer to her when he asked her that. She took his question in stride.

"You were my first love, and my first... and you were sooo out of my league. Who wouldn't?" she said, using her cigarette as a conversation prop.

"You were my first, too. I'm glad it was you, I needed someone like you," he paused, seeing how unsettled she seemed, he decided to cannonball into the ice, "You don't have to be nervous, we've already done what we're both thinking about," he said, nudging her playfully.

She smiled and she took another drag before answering, "You've gotten a lot more forward since we were together."

"And you've gotten a lot more evasive. You don't have to hide anything from me. Why are your ears and cheeks so red?" And when he asked, he ran his hand along her hair and his thumb along her ear as if he was examining it for real.

"Really!? I mean, I'm pretty sure my first just, like, told me he's thinking about... me, and-"

"Hey, all I meant was that you were thinking about us like that, I can tell, always could."

"Is that right?" she said, all but asking him how. She wore her entire life on her sleeve, it's why she had so many close friends and genuine people in her life, she was truthful to a fault. Still, her words were precisely to play along more so than hear what she already knew.

But Nick didn't divulge, "It is, Becca, you're easy to read."

Hearing him say her name made her knees weak and her body respond. He looked better than he did when they were together, which was just sickening, and soooo much better than in his pictures. "Every girl that sees you wants you, all my friends, my sisters, that girl in the blue blouse over there by the door, she's checked you out three times already, she keeps looking over here, pretending she's on her phone. I'm easy to read because you see... that, every time a girl sees you, I bet. They'd especially want-to if they knew what I knooooowww," she said, musically scaling the end of her statement while playfully darting an eyebrow up, and her eyes down.

"Stop it, I'm not talking about the girl in blue, just you. You know, I've been good since then, I can still count my number on one hand," and suddenly it was he that felt awkward.

"You always were such a good guy, except when you-"

"Look, I never apologized for the way things ended, and I've wanted to-"

"No, it was better that way, easier." The way she said it, the way the energy sapped from her face as she did, he could tell she had thought about it, extensively.

Nick got even closer, and grabbed her free hand, "No, I know I had asked you to stop, but I should'a broken it off instead. Kissing her was the easy way out. And I didn't plan it, it just happened and I didn't push her away fast enough. I never really told you about it, it was just a second, and I ended it, but..."

"It was pretty shitty," Becca said, digging her nails into the back of his hand half-heartedly, "but it's better than facing the fact that I chose all that shit over a great guy like you. More than great, the best." She almost lost herself again, in his eyes, worse, she could just barely smell him and it drove her crazy, "I couldn't have held onto you anyway, through college," she said, looking him over.

He hated the way she would put herself down. He loathed it entirely, but didn't fault her for it. He honestly could have had anyone he pursued, and knowing that, being told that his entire life, it had led him to pursue those that others had missed out on. To him, Becca was pure and unapologetic positive energy, you just wanted to be around her, and that hadn't changed. Between that and the way she responded to him in general, he found her completely intoxicating, still.

"I haven't done it since, I knew that wasn't who I wanted to be, to hurt girls like that; like I knew I had hurt you. I've wanted to do this for years, just run into you and tell you how much it all meant to me, how much you meant to me, and that I'm sor-"

"-We were young," she said, excusing it. He was always a pretty sensitive guy, and hearing him say it, just made her melt inside. She never wanted an apology, but to have him confirm the reason was good closure, even though this felt nothing, in the least bit, like closure.

"We still are," Nick said, still holding her hand. He tore his eyes from hers and looked at her hand. "This feels good," he said, lacing his fingers with hers and then smiling at her bashfully, "running into you like this, I don't know, being close to you again, are MY ears getting red?"

They stood like that a few moments, and after she playfully checked, his eyes met hers again, and just then they were seemingly so much closer to one another then they'd been, literally. She glanced down at his lips and swallowed the lump in her throat, glanced back to Nick's eyes, and then to his lips again while she rolled her bottom lip between her teeth. It was an open invitation, it was her sign, something with which he was intimately familiar with even after all those years.

Her breaths were shortened and quick, she wasn't ready for him to run into her like this, she stared at his lips for a long moment, then closed her eyes and breathed out harshly without moving a fraction of an inch, "I don't know if I can do that to him."

"Do what?" Nick said, practically against her, though it didn't feel like they'd moved at all to get there. She felt light-headed, like any moment he was going to kiss her, and she had no idea how she was going to stop whatever this was if he started it.

"Have sex with another man, even you. No, especially you."

He pulled away when she said it, looking confused, and she knew she'd ruined their moment, "I was about to see if you just wanted to go in here and grab a bite or a drink and catch up; jeeze Becca, what the fuck?!"

"Oh my God, I... I thought you, meant..."

"Can we just have appetizers or something before you try to get in my pants? I literally just said my count is low, I've been good, and I'm not like that-"

She was beet-red, "I- I'm sorry, I don't know what to-" she felt like she was falling, out of a hot-air balloon, and the sooner she hit and broke all of her bones on the Earth below, then subsequently died, the better.

He smiled deviously, and pulled her against him completely, his arm firmly, forcefully around her waist, his other brushing her hair from in front of her eye from the flustery, clearing their eyes to meet again like a gentleman might in a Hallmark movie, "I'm just messing with you, I really, really want to."

Her mouth fell wide open, "Uggghghhh, you had m- wait, WHAT!?" Her heart raced at just the thought, at just the mention of that.

"You don't think this was all a coincidence, do you? What are the chances, of all times, places, things to do, and people in this world, we crossed paths here?" Here was far from home for both of them. She was looking around, nervously, looking for anyone who would see. Blue blouse girl was gone, and whether or not she was gone made no difference whatsoever in the things that ran through her mind or the river running through her proverbial panties.

"So fate brought us together, here... to run into each other..."

"And have unbelievable sex again." Nick suddenly had dropped his cool facade, and his demeanor changed to completely ravenous.

"Yes, and have... how would that even go?" she said more so than asked, jumping rapidly from one thought to the next, her same named husband a distant afterthought.

"Well, we'd probably go in, have a quick bite, maybe a drink, then we'd sneak into that bed and breakfast across the street and do something incredibly dirty as soon as we could."

"Like what?" she asked, having to fidget in place as she did. It felt like something was rubbing against her spot, and she was dying for it to be him.

"Cheese sticks, maybe some chips and dip, preferably something light."

She turned her head half-angrily, "Dirty... like what?"

"Like, that dress would make it really easy to show you how much I've missed you, how long I've wanted you, and how much I've wanted to do things we were too young and naive to do back when we were together, I mean we were what... 16?"

"I was 17, that sounds-"

Nick cut her off, "I want to see if it still fits or not. As I recall, it barely did back then, and I'm dying to see if it will."

She was having trouble wrapping her head around it, "But I'm like a three and you're a ten, I can't even believe you wou-" Nick was flattered, but he knew he wasn't a 10, and definitely didn't see her as a three. There was something that drew him to her, and he was done avoiding it and pretending it wasn't there; but then there was her marriage.

Nick squeezed her hand and furled his brows, "You're right, we can't do this. I just saw you, and I don't know, everything came flooding back. It felt like I was back there for a moment, the excitement, not knowing what was going to happen, like I was still right there, like I'd never left, God, you're right though, we can't," he said, he was pulling and twisting her wedding ring as he gave it up, letting Becca's hand go and instead, rubbing his fingertips against his forehead with his eyes closed, trying to think about it all objectively.

"No, oh God, no... I do... want to. So much. God, like you wouldn't believe," she said looking him over again, making sure this was all real more than anything. She could close her eyes for a fraction of a second and remember every line of his face, "I just, I don't want to fall into it all again, I don't know if I can just let you go again after. I mean, just bumping into you, and I'm all..." Wet, completely, thoroughly, wet; but she couldn't say it. "Did you really mean all that?" she asked, her eyes were huge, begging him to tell her one more time.

She would leave Sad-Replacement-Nick right then and there, Actual Nick just had to say the word. She flashed to a vision of herself already being taken by Legitimate Nick, her leg hiked up and vined around behind his waist, one hand clutched around his tan, perfectly scented neck, fumbling around with her phone in her other hand, breathing and moaning out to Toyota Tercel-Nick that she was leaving him, while she got pinned and taken against the very wall she currently had her back to. She was at the point where if he so much as laid another finger on her, she was uncontrollably his.

See, she had a lot of issues letting go once they'd broken up. Unhealthy, borderline obsession, but not quite the restraining order-type. There was no malice in it whatsoever, just pain and wanting, and he could identify by this point. It was just a year and some change of unbelievably intense love and everything else- that freaked him out at that age, and she was in no way ready for him to leave her. But they'd gotten through it over the years, with distance being a key factor, and well, here they were, with their rapidly diminishing distance, destroying everything that had been working for them as right and proper exes.

Nick put his hand along the side of Becca's neck, pulled her against him tightly into an embrace, moved her hair and his lips barely along her neck leading up to her ear, then a nibble, trying unsuccessfully to control his hunger for her. Her leg came up and around his waist as she quickly returned to her fantasy, and then pressed her bare flesh against Nick's crotch. She turned her head away and trembled visibly and let out an involuntary squeak.

Nick whispered to her through it, pulling her into him, particularly where she was against his pants, "I never stopped wanting you, even when I knew for your own good that I had to leave and had to stay away. I wanted to call you so many times, and stop by and just tell you how I still wanted you in my life, but I wasn't sure what I wanted and that wasn't fair, but... I don't know, I mean, they say you always remember your first, but it's worse, I remember the way you taste, and how you felt, the sounds you made, all of it. I... thought I had messed things up too much to try to get you back, but there were so many times I would dial your number and hang up, or drive by your house, thinking about what I'd say if..." She quivered again strangely as he paused and kissed her neck again then pulled her skin with his teeth. She kept shaking as he did it, as if she was trembling with nervousness, so Nick went back to her ear, "I know this is a lot, are you okay?"

It was a lot. He wasn't just hot. It was that he had been hers, the guy all the girls wanted, and for some fucked up reason that she could never figure, he wanted her. And not just to date, she couldn't explain it, but he lusted after her, couldn't get enough of her, and it just came out as she thought of this one chance she suddenly had, "I... just creamed myself, I'm ...that's... never happened..."

Hearing it stiffened him immediately, and they were so close he could feel it like they had nothing between them at all, he quickly, shakily told her, "We can't... do this. I don't know if I could stop. I would looove to feel you... stretching around me again, but I don't know if I could just do it once. I might get addicted, you know, to how it feels with you, and I... know I wouldn't stop. I've thought about what we'd do a hundred times over if we ran into one another, and I know I wouldn't be able to stop... We should just walk away right now while it's still just a kiss, a nibble, my... admissions, and one little, accidental orgasm."

Her planted knee was weak and wobbled, to the point she had to unwrap her leg from around his body. She thought about it constantly, this. Running into each other, even in her fantasies it wasn't as easy to do as he was making it out to be. She closed her eyes for a moment, unable to agree with him, taking herself back to the hundreds of times she was alone on her couch, grinding a pillow between her legs until it was soaked, flipping it over, swapping pillows, then the remote with herself face-down on her pillow, then the one for the soundbar, she'd never eaten a cucumber, but bought them every time she shopped, but nothing felt like it did when he fucked her, because it was him, the whole world stopped and she never needed another thing like that; and it was sooooo close she could literally grab it, as wrong as it all was, "Two... and not... little, you can't say that to me... I. God, I want you so fucking bad." She said it and was actively looking for a place they could go.