All Comments on 'What a Fool Believes'

I read every word, and I agree with the previous commentor about the silly contractions like “Immma”.

You’re not really saving any space in a long story like this and they just jar on anyone who likes English. I graded it with a five.

I enjoyed your story but some of your words and phrases kind of lost me, also more of Tessas situation could have been added.

You must get tired of being great!

I could use more background on the x wife, how she thought she found the love of her life and they had no idea of her cheating ways .until the daughter found her moving out. Then why did it take 3 years for him to pop the question to peach. You could follow up with a part 2 for a continuance of this story .do they live happily ever after.

Just like always, SIMPLY THE BEST! You could even make another chapter, continuing their lives, and maybe have Jacinta give Torrie and Talley a baby sibling. Also, maybe Tessa will understand how bad she messed up, and especially when they call Jacinta MOM, they are now her daughters...

I liked this story but there is a set of geographical errors. Ojai is about 80 miles Northwest of Los Angeles. Someone would "move down" to L.A. from Ojai. I suggest to authors the use of Google Maps. Thank you, none the less, for the interesting read.

__Anon8675309

Great story. Unfortunately this was my first story by you. And I thought it was fantastic. It was a good finish but I'm hoping you will add more chapters 5⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Hitchcock once said "Some movies are slices-of-life, mine are slices of cake." Well, this is a slice-of-life LW story, and nicely told for what it is, yet I prefer my LW tales to be slices of cake : contrived, dramatically charged, and pulsing with big emotions.

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With this story, we never get to know much about Tess, and we are not allowed to emotionally invest in the Dax/Tess relationship. It's a 25-year marriage that is brutally betrayed by Tess, but the betrayal has no sting for the reader, and seemingly minimal impact on Dax. It's a cushioned betrayal --- cushioned by his loyal daughters rallying around Dax. The narrative focus is on the loyal daughters not the disloyal wife, who in any case is quickly ushered out of the story.

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The story then becomes a low-drama Romance. Peach and Dax reconnect and fall in love, with little in the way of obstacles. (LW is a big tent which can easily encompass Romance, so no objections there).

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And then comes a dramatic payoff for what had seemed to be a rambling tale going no where in particular. I liked this part. It seems he never knew his beloved, loving daughter as well as he supposed --- and she's involved with someone who has a cheating history. This leads to Dax's estrangement from both Peach and his daughters. High drama at last.

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I wish the narrative had dug deeper into this drama. It's resolved too easily, but it has such rich potential --- and it's such a fresh LW conflict : the loyal daughter who has inadvertently re-opened her father's wound.

I always enjoy your stories. I agree that there was a bit of inconsistency with how he reacted to his daughter and the infidelity of her girlfriend, but you're the author and I'm just the reader. I don't give ratings, I just enjoy.

The plot line was good, but as others have noted there seemed to be some gaps in character development, essentially with the wife. The whole instantaneous “I’m moving out” scene seemed a bit contrived, perhaps only because it was never given any backstory. We also learned obliquely that the “soul mate” with Charles thing did not last long, and that seemed too much like formula. To me it might have been preferable if she just disappeared! Nevertheless, I liked the story and the integral characters were strong and defined. Enjoyable read! Thank you.

YEAH!!! ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

l think you owe us a 'Yeet

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Great story! Loved the "curve balls ". I love your stories. For me, you and friends have great writing skills. Its been delightfully entertaining to read stories for the last few years. Please, please keep writing!

Wow. Great read.

Thank you for sharing.

Hooked

Wonderful as always. Thank you.

Very minor point: You did throw me off a bit at the beginning. Torrie was introduced as a “junior,” but had a car she had been given when she finished her undergraduate degree and was in grad school.

This is an extremely well told story with really captivating characters. The characters fit like a glove! The story is almost too good for "LW" and would be just as good in ""Romance". It was really gripping to read! 5*!!!

You write so very well. As a divorced Dad some of this felt real and some felt like BS. The ambush by the bi daughter and it was his fault…an unkind and unfair depiction. Really great otherwise.

Way better than it’s score. If you would have put it into the Romance section, it would be a 4,7 at the least. Tessa doesn’t count anymore after Dax found Jacinta, so I for one think it is a strength of the story, not to give her more room than she deserves. For someone working on her doctorate, Terry has an awful way to speak.

Overall, a great story, just a couple of issues with it. First, as anyone who lives in the southern part of California, neither Los Angeles, nor West Covina are 'up' from Ojai; they're both south of Ojai, so one would drive 'down' to those cities.

The second issue is that mid-way through the story, you switched Torrie and Talitha. Torie was the one who originally called him about his wife moving out, yet suddenly it was Talitha that had told him; a loss of continuity. Also, the sudden introduction of her nickname 3/4 of the way through the story; if you're going to give her a nickname, why wasn't it introduced closer to the beginning? It kind of made it a non sequitur.

A good story all round, would like to have heard more about the mum, only criticism is that he's the bad guy when he gets left out and understandably reacts. But maybe it's possible all 4 do that. Nice work

I can see now why BlackRandi is used by so many of the writers as an editor. The story flowed beautifully without getting bogged down in minutia. Would liked to have seen Tessa do a little groveling and be horrified that she had thrown away a great marriage. There was not enough suffering on her part.

Defiantly a 4+ for me. I thought the cheating wife just turned out to be a throw away character and should have been a bit more of the story. Other than that I really enjoyed the rest.

Decently written, too drawn out so it got a tad boring.

That said it was a bit too cliched, I loved her just up and moving out without a word to anyone, that was really good but everything beyond that was by the numbers.

I have read many of the stories that you have edited. This is my first that you wrote. A great read. Definitely 5 stars. Your story forces the reader to run through a gauntlet of emotions. You are one of my top three authors on this site. I will want to go back through your history, of previously written. If they are as good as this I have much reading to do. Professional grade

Thanks for this story. Excellent as per usual. No criticism. No critique.

Great story…room for a sequel all about Tessa and Charles. Did he cheat on her, giving her a taste of her own medicine? Or did she see another bright shiny object that made her ditch Charles? Or maybe Charles was just a phony who left once he got ahold of all her money. Would love to have more insight into what made Tessa tick—having the movers just show up one morning is a different spin!!!

Well it's worth a 5 just for auto deleting Harry's rubbish rants...but your tales are always worth a 5 for the storytelling even if they wander a little as this one did. That isn't a problem if it's enjoyable and entertaining that's all that matters. Sentient being my ass, whoever you are under whatever name you write or for whatever reason keep doing it please. Thank you.

Well written except for the slang. What is "imma"? Having said that, the one missing piece in these cheating wife stories is closure on the wife. Happily married for years and then the wife gets hit with the Martian slut Ray. There never seems to be any closure with the wife....Why did she cheat In such a great marriage and family? I always feel like all of these stories are missing that piece. That's especially true because she apparently broke up with the lover she cheated with. And then nothing more is said about it. I don't get it.

Always a 5. Would have liked to hear more about Tessa, before and afterwards though. Seem kinda sensitive about comments in the foreward?

Far superior to most of what appears in Lit. Given your preliminary remarks about critical comments, I'll not mention the few--surprisingly few--problems. As for the story, I feel that you have given us two separate stories: one about Dax's divorce; the second about a father's realization of his beloved daughter's love for a black-American lesbian. Thanks for a very good story .

Nice story, not brilliant, but l liked it.

4/5

Wonderful story and the part that really hit me was when Campbell came into his home and ordered him about. Wow, that infuriated me. How dare she do that and what was he thinking laughing about it? Good stories are fun to read but great stories make a reader feel. It’s not how I would have reacted but I’m not the character and that has made all the difference.

Well done. 5 stars.

This could have done well in Romance as well. Due to the treatment of the ex wife and the end of his marriage. She and the failed marriage were a major source of friction in the first 2 pages...but the last 4 the ex hardly gets more than a few paragraphs...much more about his new love and life and the interplay with his daughters.

Which was finely done. He rebounded well. Had a great life.

One thing is...his ex-wife was in real estate.

His new gf was in real estate. She establishes a relationship with his daughter then then extends into them goinfninto business together selling real estate in the same city/area as the ex-wife.

Not being critical. Just pointing out...that the daughter preferred and made the choice to partner in real estate with her dad's girlfriend and NOT with her own mother!

In RL that would have been a serious bone of contention between mom and daughter...real estate is a VERY competitive business and I could see mom seriously develop some hard feelings.

It would have been enjoyable to see this drama play out between ex-wife and daughter/gf partnership as a little side to the main story.

Overall very good. Thank you.

Wow, just when I thought the story had fizzled to a slow-moving romantic end, all hell breaks out and the tension builds all over again. Only a great writer can keep me enthralled for 5 pages. Well done, Randi. I can't wait for your next one!

Oh yeah, 5 stars of course.

I enjoy reading yourstoried. This was another really good one! Thanks!

Great story loved it.

What can you say another Blackrand masterpiece. I wish I could score it a 10.

I had some great teachers in school and my eyes seem to catch all the bad grammar, punctuation, miss-spelled, missing and repeated words in everything I read. I only found two miss-spelled words in your entire story. I enjoyed it very much. Thank you for writing and posting it. One of these days I'm going to go to your earliest posting and go through all of them by date until I am caught up. I hope you don't retire from writing before I retire from reading. Looking forward to all of it.

Use dialect. It is good to spell words how they sound sometimes because like contractions they are not always spelled like they sound. I live where the white man lived with the red man and we have a lot of strange words. My ancestors lived among the red people for over 150 years before Andrew Jackson made them walk from North Carolina to Oklahoma on the Trail of Tears. Many people do not know that until there had been about 30 years of the US government the Eastern States were shared with the Indians and retain their Indian names.

Outstanding except for the abrupt ending.

I enjoyed the story until the end. Jax is worried his daughter may be hurt because her girlfriend has a history of cheating and all the women blow up at him. Only having him admit how wrong he was will fix things. The women are dismissive of his concerns. They also seem to be keeping things from him too. Red flags.

You've never heard Dr. Awkward's "Imma Do Me"?

Spectacular story and a great read. Always a nice surprise when you release a new story.

It is refreshing for an LW story to end with the good guy being crapped on and ending up winning at the end. Well written and very believable. Thank you for another 5* story.

Great story, love it. AAAAAA++++++

because you write so adroitly.

Feel like the story gave me a sugar rush. But the characters are well drawn, equal parts endearing and annoying. Except Tessa, she was a flat character who bailed out of the marriage and the story, so it's good that she didn't get much time.

Living the central coast all my life, knowing Austin real well, and having the daughter of one of my best friends living in Austin with the nickname of Tallie, I want to know how you are stalking me. Good story as most of yours are.

Randi will post another story on March 17, as will many fine writers, for our annual St. Patrick's Day bash. People such as Qhml1, BH76, Hooked1957, Ephesus14, Trionyx, Markelly, Harddaysknight, Laptopwriter, Amyyum, DTIverson, RichardGerald, Cagivagurl, MattBlackUK, Woodmanone, Stev2244, Just Plain Bob, PapaToad, and the list goes on. Tune in if you like to read good stories.

Now I have that song running through my head. But, I like the song.

Welcome... coming from where you came from, it couldn't be less than a very good job.

Randl being what he always was: one of the great writers here at LW.

From the initial warning, about what the reader would find, to the final part where the man marked by the unique betrayal of his ex-wife, allows himself to clean the basement of his feelings, for the sake of his daughter's happiness.

Of course, in order for him to be fully happy, this catharsis was necessary.

Interesting as the author, he mixes elements and scenarios, mainly psychological, and leads us to the conclusion of his work.

After some time seeing the arrival of texts that, for me, cause little interest or satisfaction, Randl oxygenates us with this work.

It was 5 stars for me, and one of my favorites.

I'll wait for your next submissions... always looking forward to it.

But that's just my opinion.

Thanks for the work. Rated it a 4*.

The most interesting part of the story is missing. There doesn't seem much angst from the characters. Totally black and white relationship viewpoint with mom. Does love for mom die so easily?

And did mom rue the day she met Charles? We the readers don't get to sip the cup of bitter regret as mommy dearest's relationship goes down the toilet.

Kind of an abrupt ending but a really good story

It was great until the section about NONE of the women understood how a Father's love to protect his daughters was. They all got pissed at him. Typical of close minded people.

Great story if the rest of your stories are as good I have some great reading ahead. Thank you.

One of the best stories I have read in a long time. 5*, of course.

It worked well on multiple levels and showed the truth of the old saying about a life well lived being the best revenge.

God, I love reading your stories. You always create a universe with characters I can relate to and empathize with. Not to detract, but Dax clearly should have gone to therapy to understand the loss of his marriage. The other part that had me thinking, "What the hell", it took him 3+ years after finding his first true love to propose? From the time I met my wife to our wedding was under a year. (If you know, you know - take a chance.) 30+ years and five kids later we still love each other. Well done young lady! 5*

It's a TEN from me You sure do know how to tell 'em

I enjoyed the story. I thought your use of slang was effective in presenting Campbell as a bit rough around the edges and having a bit of a chip on her shoulder. Her heart of gold came through in the end. I also liked that you deviated from the worn out troup that “once a cheater, always a cheater”. Sometimes people do make mistakes. Maybe the wife was a little over the top with the movers but she wasn’t really the focus of the story. I will say that the names were very distracting, at least for me, although I hardly present the writing chops to be taken seriously as a critic. All told, a high quality tale I have come to expect when I see your name as the author. Thanks for sharing your talent once again.

Theakston

It is worth a 5.

Good read as we’ve come to anticipate. Would have liked to hear how the ex wifes Loverboy chuck turned into Chucky the horror show… could have been a delightful comeuppance. Jacinta sounds major hot! Nice satisfying that the wronged spouse ends up well.

Moral of the story. It's okay for women to meddle but not men. Even if it involves a father/daughter relationship. What he said to Jacinta was exactly right and her reaction was well, immature. This guy need men in his life. Love does not have to be this way. Love the writing. No crazy impossible event that take you on some absurd journey. Thank you Randi for restoring balance. But I'm afraid there's always tomorrow

After spending a couple of months with Jacinta, Dax realizes that, "Jacinta was like a breath of fresh air. I hadn't realized how hum-drum my life had become with Tessa. I had become comfortable, complacent, and I guess sheer inertia had taken over. Maybe that's the way she felt, but this was exciting and new."

So, I can't help but wonder what if things were reversed. What if Jacinta had become a professor and had moved to Dax's town and become a professor at the same university as him. What if that created the opportunity to spend a great deal time together. They both had obviously experienced two sided unrequited love. Would he have been the one to then cheat and leave Tessa? If he doesn't would it have been because he was too afraid to venture into the unknown and because he had become too "comfortable and complacent?" If your life has become mundane and you've fulfilled your responsibilities as a parent (for which I think you sacrifice everything) do you continue to live a mundane life because you had made a promise decades ago or do you allow yourself the opportunity to have a great life full of passion? I think everyone would agree cheating shouldn't be involved, but in the scenario I painted he and Jacinta would've at least had an emotional affair spending a great deal of time together before he pulled the plug on his marriage. Maybe during the emotional affair he would've felt more connected to Jacinta and less to Tessa so he wouldn't have thought of not physically cheating. Maybe he would've thought if we sleep together I can get it out of my system and stay married to Tessa.

Btw, Randi, Jacinta would've moved DOWN to L.A. or West Covina, and not "up." Both are south of Ojai. I know very nerdy of me to point out, but being in the area and that coming up twice I couldn't help myself pointing that out.

Nice story but does everyone, just like Hollywood, have to introduce home sexuality into their stories? I am not homophobic but I am 79 years old with morals bread into me from a long time ago. I don't bad mouth people of different persuasions but I also don't support them,. I don't stand up brag that I am a flaming heterosexual either. So please keep your sexual preferences to your self and so will I. Live and let live and judge not lest ye be judged.

@ Demosthenes384bc

3 1/2 years...Once burnt, it takes awhile, even years, before you are ready. I know people that are madly in love with their partner, but will not get married again under any circumstances. Divorce laws are too skewed in favor of women.

To the Annie who sent me this:

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"Why is it that you offer excellent positive critical feedback but on a mediocre BR 'the bully' story you lavish praise? You have no integrity. That story was a cliché and obvious. It was full of bizarre choices and decisions. You know it and I know it. I question your integrity and quite frankly, I am sure you question yourself.

Grow a pair dude"

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I don't know what story you were referencing, but since this is Randi's latest, I'll put this here.

\

1) It's ironic that you say, "Grow a pair," when you don't have the gonads to identify yourself, not even to post your anonymous comment publicly.

\

2) Randi gives me an opportunity to read her stories and give my input before she posts. If I have any comments, suggestions, and yes, criticisms, I make them then. Even if Randi disagrees with me and leaves things as they are, it would be pretty churlish of me to publicly air our differences. But you wouldn't understand that, would you?

Nice story,well worth reading. The black girlfriend of the daughter may not have a dick, but certainly was one. I don't know so many writers pick odd and complicated names, are they showing off their imagination?

Outstanding. Well written and enjoyable. Thank you.

your disclaimer about the haters seems a bit oversensitive - this is the first story of yours that i have read, but by far the most well written, engaging, and believeable story i have yet read on this or any other 'erotic fiction' site...BRAVO!

Your stories are always great. This one covered a lot of realistic issues, extremely well. I just wondered why Dax waited three years to propose? Clearly, he and Jacinta, knew each other much better than a typical new couple. Three months each year at a remote island resort - money and work weren’t an issue for either of them.

Tessa? She deserved whatever pain she suffered from Chucky Cheese.

A feel good story with likeable characters. How did you get away posting this in Loving wives? Four stars

Loved this story! Very good characters and story. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

A very pleasant tale...Merci, Randi!

Great story, I would have liked to read more about if Tessa ever came to the realization of how badly she fucked up and if her life turned into a shitshow. This is the first story of yours that I have read, I will definitly be reading some more!

Okay, I'm biased as I was allowed to beta read this. That doesn't change the fact that this is a great LW/romance hybrid, as most really good LW stories are. Well done, and I'm looking forward to seeing another one on March, 17th, at the upcoming event.

Good one, as usual, Randi. Your story touched on some similar events in my life and I think you wrote the emotional reactions quite well. Communication takes a constant effort to be effective. We are all guarded, or conflicted, at times and those closest to us can read that. Well established lines of communication can defuse relationship bombs. You did an excellent job of providing proof of that hypothesis.

Even though I was born in a small southern town and grew up in an exclusively white neighborhood, I never understood the whole racial reaction to blacks and whites dating. I just never saw how skin color had anything to do with love and romance. I guess I’m just weird or something. Anyway, enjoyed the read, wish you’d write more often.

A Peach of a story! Thanks.

I like the Doobie Brothers reference. I the baseball metaphor. Because of dialogue and descriptions, you pump life into your characters. Great plot and subplots.

Another well tailored love story brought from a LW beginning.

Thanks for a heartwarming read.

First story I've read from this author after requesting them to help me with the story I've been writing.

I must say, it can be difficult at times to keep my interest and prevent the temptation to quickly scroll to the juicy parts, but I really didnt feel that way with this story. The way the author also brings the scenery to life is amazing.

I look forward to the next story of theirs I plan to read next week.

Great job!

As usual a good and thought provoking story. Not your best though.

I wanted to bring out a few points but am not too sure if they would face the axe!

So, that's it.

Good story, but they were all conspiring against him. Also, this should be in the romance category. The living wife portion is really just a backdrop.

You are an amazing writer. This is a story that adds to your already great collection. I find you a bit intolerant, in regard to your note at the beginning, but having read the comments to you, and about you, over the years, I understand how you could be sick of the assholes around here. I gave it five stars.

Ending could do with a bit of work, it feels like it just drops. But otherwise a good story

Great tale that teaches the importance of communication and how people can change. Campbell’s tale was touching and illustrated that so well. Dax’s reaction and lashing out at Jacinta also shows how keeping a cool head in a relationship is so important, even when one is blindsided and under pressure. A word spoken in anger can undo endanger so much goodwill and it can take a lot of effort, a whole lot of crows, and a ton of flowers to correct it. Very nice way to work it all out! 5*

Skankenstein? OK that's funny. Up to that point I'm thinking he dodged a bullet and now he gets to go find a younger prettier wife. 😁

Love those girls of his.

Guess I'm not going to read the whole thing again. Talented writer though.

I can't tell you how glad I am that I found a talented author on this site that is still putting out great work through the years! The number of times I have read some incredible story only to discover that it's from 2006 and the author hasn't posted anything since is maddening.

Thank you for your wonderful contributions Randi. Thank you for sticking with it throughout the inevitable douchebag armchair critics and embracing the overwhelming positive feedback from your fans.

This was another enjoyable read and I can't wait for your next one!

Thanks for NOT saving this for April 1st...

...then hammering us for believing all this...

when you telegraphed it in the title...:+))))

5 stars.

It took me down memory lane. I remember Ojai, Santa Barbra, Ventura, Malibu, Lake Casitas. Driving past the lemon tree groves in bloom. That was 45 yrs. ago, been back in the middle now for 41 yrs.

Really enjoyed the story, even got emotionally involved in it. Brought back some bad memories too, similar to Dax's but different. Thank you for the trip back, seriously.

great

Randi excels with stories built around parent/child or parent figure/child relationships. BUT… as good as this one is (I gave it 5) I believe the bullseye was missed as the author’s eye drifted off track during the confrontation between Dax and Jacinta. Really, it wouldn’t matter if I wasn’t so invested and if this wasn’t such a good story. Here’s the thing: The author goes to great lengths describing the budding, and then later the fully developed relationship between Jacinta and Dax’s daughters…which Dax seemingly was not part of. It was presented to him as a fait acompli. I saw this as Dax feeling he was pushed aside or less relevant. That is what I wanted to see explored and resolved. Campbell’s younger life cheating, her race, or Talitha’s sexuality paled next to Dax’s probable feeling of irrelevance.

A reread I always enjoy a revisit . Thank you again for all the hours of pleasure. Both your writing but also your influence on others

Must be a different place, though I was told Blue Beach was spectacular. Great story as always.QM

5* amazingly beautiful, like all his women.

Ok Dax, get Campbell her own coffee shop! I really enjoyed this better on the second reading! De rMTMan

Really great story. I'm between a 4 and a 5 mainly because of how Dax was treated at the end. He was ambushed by his daughter and her girlfriend and she had the nerve to be mad at him? Then the whole blow up about making sure his daughter was sure since she was dating a confirmed cheater? No sure how he got all the blame by being left out of all the conversations. But I still loved the story.

Dear Author, you do realize that there is NO SUCH THING AS A VIRUS, right?

No biologist, biochemist, geneticist etc. has ever seen a "virus" under a microscope ever! If you look online, you will find actual photographs of e-coli and other bacterium and pathogens, what you will not find are actual photographs of "viruses", because they DO NOT EXIST

My dear Mr. 187,

Randi is uncertain what she is supposed to do with this information, or what prompted you to reveal these startling facts. I searched this story for the word "virus," but Word told me "We were unable to find what you were looking for." Did I, in some mysterious way, assert the existence of viruses?

It is true that Randi has never actually SEEN a virus, but then she has never seen an electron or an X-ray, either. Perhaps in your next comment, you might wish to explain how electrons and X-rays do not exist. I am, however, quite relieved to learn that the numerous times I suffered from colds and the flu were but figments of my imagination. Randi.