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She burst into tears, ran across the entry as best she could in her heels and threw her arms around me. She pressed her cheek to the top of my head and all those curls covered me like a veil. "I hate being mad at you," she said. "I'm sorry, too, Dax. I know you meant well, and it must have seemed like we were all kind of conspiring against you. We need to communicate better, all of us."
I ate that crow, we flew back to Austin, and took all the girls white-water rafting in Colorado. This was my family, and I resolved that Campbell was going to be part of my family, too. I had a new daughter: a ferocious brown jungle-cat of a daughter, but we were family.
They were in Tarawa with us the night I proposed to Jacinta, three years later. I let them in on the plan and they "had something to do" while we went to dinner. When I dropped to one knee by the table before dessert, Jacinta's hand flew to her mouth and she burst into tears.
That threw my game off a little, but I barged ahead. She held out her hand and I slipped on the ring. She pulled me to my feet and threw herself into my arms, still crying like a baby.
"Umm... Peach, I was hoping this would make you happy," I told her, "not cause these tears of despair."
She made a watery little giggle into my shoulder. "I am happy," she said. "I cry when I'm extremely happy, too."
It was just a little curveball. I thought I hit it for grand slam.
- COMMENTS
Anonymousabout 11 hours agoA generally satisfying story, for sure. A couple of quibbles: I was left wanting to know more about the original wife's thinking. She created a lot of heartbreak for a relationship that apparently lasted for only 6 months. Wouldn't you think a bit more about that before nuking your family? I'm left puzzled.
I also thought the girlfriend had a huge overraction there towards the end. That would be a red flag for me. He was bringing up a legitimate concern with good intention, and holy hell! That should be a "I'm mad at you but let's talk more," three day kind of thing, not the RPG that was fired. I'd be looking for other possibilities at that point, or at least get her to realize she needs some professional help.
Anonymous27 days agoAlways liked your work, I think you're a gem, but you won a lifelong fan with something you said in regards to comments...
"Harry goes out, regardless."
That one line is perfection in writing, and is worth 5 points alone... if a rating means anything to you. I will still read this and give honest feedback, but I started your story with a smile. Maybe a smirk. Whatever.
Anonymous29 days agothe title is kind of a blanket over the whole story . yet after the breakup of his marriage he gets up ,changes his life and goes on to better things . life is not always easy and how we act after major changes makes the difference between being happy and being miserable .
Anonymous2 months agoHow sentimentally nostalgic to spark up an old flame from a crash and burnt marraige to a hometown first love. Nice story with mutual exclusivity and non incest. What a fool believes to be real, the Wiseman has a problem, corrected by his loving girls. (Lucky?)
DeanofMean3 months agoGreat bit of writing, I don't understand why Campbell got let off so easy, i am sure she Linda and Dee Dee would get along well in any part of February. Other than that picayune issue great story and could lead to so many others i kinda want to hear the exes pain because i am petty that way and you created some fun people here so anything to carry on the story.
Anonymous3 months agoSpectacular piece of writing. I thought it ended a bit too quickly for me but it didn’t hurt the story one bit, it’s just that I am more of a payoff person and love a good well constructed ending but I know others aren’t like that. I now have many stories to read by one of my new favorite authors so that’s a great bonus right there. Thanks for putting all your time and effort into making this story so wonderful with incredible characters that interacted so well.
SomeOneTwoThree3 months agoI liked it.
A bit too romantic for a guy reader, but not much.
The plot and the drama, however, were first class.
Very well done.
Top ratings from me.
Anonymous4 months agoGreat story. My only thouht was what if they were all lower middle class, not all upper class? It was a entertaining read and I like happy endings.
Anonymous6 months agoJust an odd sci-fi reference, the "other point of view gun" would indeed be effective on male or female subjects as both groups are blind,self centered, self absorbed idiots n matter what they may think f themselves.
Anonymous6 months agoThe situation that happened towards the end is the sort of thing that can happen in families, particularly in one like this where interpersonal relationships are settling down. Blackrandi presents it very realistically - like real life in fact. Five bright shiners.
RePhil7 months agoI’m not educated enough in the fine art of writing like so many in LW. I missed something that should have set the stage in my mind for my perceived change of character in them. Kind of agree with the last two comments. To the uninitiated, like myself, the conflicting character actions created a conundrum I could not get my head around. As always your writing is superb and you are still probably the best dialogue writer in LW. Go Newcastle United lHoway the Lads” in todays match!!! ⚽️
Anonymous7 months agoLiked the story but as others have said the last two pages need to be deleted (dreadful) and go straight on to the wedding. The daughter keeping secrets from him does not match the rest of early stuff and the only think she would do that is because she is embarrassed by it.
Anonymous8 months agoFor the most of it I liked this story. HOWEVER, the last part was terrible. The girls ganged up on him. Let's look at his perspective:
1) his long-time wife cheated and abandoned him.
2) his girls were not only aware of it, but they subsequently supported him, so they should have understood his concern.
3) all the girls have been conversing behind his back and keeping a big secret, including his GF. No one gave him the specific details about the GF's cheating.
4) Talley's new GF, overreacted and jumped all over him when he was surprised about the news she had a GF. Not the best impression to give a father.
5) he ONLY expressed some concern, as a father should, about Tally's GF who had some cheating history. He did not accuse the GF.
6) his own GF jumped all over him when he expressed this concern. Then when he slips up and says something wrong in the heat of an argument, she abandons him.
7) again, the girls talk behind his back rather than to him. Not very living of his daughters.
The story did a huge disservice to Dax and the girls should have been apologizing to him! If not for that last chapter, I would have given the story a 5.
Anonymous8 months agoRandi you did good 5 star. I think it was justified to cut the mom off because she not only cheated but blew up a family. the only critique I have is the whole situation at the end they all should have realized the main character was just concerned about his daughter they all flew off the handle. You could have saved about a half a page on that. I mean the daughters gf is moody as crap and doesn’t respect anyone but that’s not really a criticism more of an evaluation of her flaws tbh I think that’s her defense mechanism because of those two prickly girls from her past and she’s sweet in secret
