What You're Doing

"That would be two nights together for each of the three conferences," stated Ron. "Did you ever fuck him anywhere else?"

"No!" proclaimed Bonnie. "It was a total of six times and I deeply regret it. I owe you an apology."

"You're telling me a young stud like Nick was only able to get it up once a night with a fox like you?" questioned Ron. "He never fucked you more than once in a night?"

"What difference does that make?" asked a bewildered Bonnie. "We probably did it three times each night."

"Now for the big question," announced Ron. "Why did you fuck another man? Was sex with me so unrewarding, so mundane, so pathetic you needed to find a younger better hung lover?"

"Of course not! I was bored and he pursued me relentlessly. I was weak. It was never about you, or our sex life. It was about my vanity, maybe a midlife crisis. He means nothing to me. I swear it!"

"I see. You had sex with a man who met nothing to you," repeated Ron. "Have you fucked Mr. Jenkins?"

"The guy who lives down the street and wears those ridiculous shirts?" asked a very confused Bonnie. "Of course not. I hardly know him, but I find him repulsive."

"So he means nothing to you?" continued Ron. "You just told me you fuck men you don't love and who mean nothing to you. Jenkins fits that description, so why don't you spread your legs for him?"

"I didn't say I sleep with every man who means nothing to me!" explained a distraught Bonnie. "I slept with Nick because he was good looking, suave, and successful. He pursued me."

"You're telling me you'll only spread your legs for good looking successful men who chase after you? Other than a few guys like that, you're a faithful wife. If you don't love the men you fuck, doesn't it follow that you don't love me?"

"No! I'm telling you I made a horrible mistake and it'll never happen again," stated Bonnie with emotion. "I love you, but not Nick."

"How do I know that?" asked Ron gently. "You promised to be faithful to me at our wedding and a few other times over the years. You're a beautiful woman. Good looking, successful men will always be pursuing you. I can't trust you. I can't even give you the great sex you seem to enjoy so much."

"Don't ever think that, Ron! I love sex with you. It's special and it makes me feel loved," replied Bonnie.

"What did Nick make you feel that you kept going back to him?" asked Ron softly.

"Dirty. Used. Different than a mother, or a wife. It was the wrongness that sucked me in. It wasn't love."

"Did you suck his cock? Did he fuck you in the ass?" asked a subdued Ron.

"Why does that matter? It's you I love!" protested Bonnie in obvious embarrassment before adding. "You know I wouldn't let anyone have my ass, not even you."

"I have a lot to consider. You're standing there telling me you love me and not him, yet you suck his cock, but haven't given him your ass... yet. It's hard for me to accept you'd do so much more for a man who means nothing to you than for a man you love," reasoned Ron.

"You haven't indicated you wanted oral sex in a long time. I wasn't against it so much as I thought you'd lost interest," protested Bonnie, even as she realized how pathetic she must have sounded.

"Yeah, what married guy wants a blowjob from his wife, especially when she hands them out like candy? You told me on our honeymoon I would be the only man you loved," recalled Ron. "You and Slick must have had quite a few laughs at my expense."

"It wasn't like that. He never talked about you. I would have never allowed it," insisted Bonnie.

"You seem to forget I heard a few minutes of your conversation. The asshole badmouthed me several times and you went along with it. Remember how I'm slowing down? He gave you a better twentieth anniversary than most wives ever get. You never disagreed, did you?

"Why are we even wasting our time here?" demanded Ron suddenly. "You found someone new. I accept that. It seems like you should as well. Why pretend you want to stay married? It's pretty damn obvious you didn't like being my wife, and we won't even talk about the bad sex. You're beautiful, successful and intelligent, while I bring nothing to the table. It was only a matter of time before you looked for something better. Congratulations on finding it! Don't let the door hit you on the ass on the way out."

"Ron, we can't let this discussion end so badly. We have to talk it out and find a way back," Bonnie pleaded tearfully.

"You can have your lawyer speak to my lawyer. We're done, Bonnie. I'm going to divorce you. You've left me no choice."

Bonnie went to work that day only to have an irate Sue corner her by the break room. "Why was Ron asking me about going with you to Atlanta for that conference? You know full well I stopped going to those after you decided to spend nights with that Romeo from the Chicago office. I don't want you using me as a cover for your cheating."

"Ron called you? What did you tell him?" questioned Bonnie dejectedly.

"The truth. I haven't gone to the last two conferences. I got the impression you told him we were sharing a room and spending time at the conference together," complained Sue. "I don't appreciate being used like that."

"It won't be a problem again, Ron found out this trip. I think he's going to divorce me," confessed Bonnie.

"What other outcome could you possibly expect?" demanded Sue. "No decent man can accept that level of disrespect."

"I was too fucking stupid and self-centered to even think about Ron finding out," answered Bonnie candidly. "He's moved out."

"Don't you think you made your choice when you slept with the slimy bastard from Chicago?" asked Sue a little more gently. "I'm sorry you lost Ron, but I warned you it would happen if you kept it up. I wasn't the one who told him, if that's what you're thinking."

"I know that, Sue. I owe you an apology. I abused your friendship. I wish I had listened to you, but I was so damn smart and entitled. I don't deserve a man like Ron."

*****

Ron had taken the day off from work after learning Bonnie was cheating on him. He was determined to move all of his belongings to his lake house before Bonnie made it home. He had no interest in listening to her reasons or excuses for cheating. He was sickened when he considered life without Bonnie, but he knew he could never forgive her cold-hearted disregard for his feelings, as well as her ambivalence toward fidelity and respect.

Her surprise visit the next morning had simply exposed the huge emotional gap that separated them. She had said nothing that could help him forgive her cheating. He made an appointment with a lawyer for the next afternoon.

He was preparing to leave the office for his meeting with a divorce lawyer the next day when he was notified of a new email. It was from Bonnie. He considered whether he should read or simply delete it. After an internal discussion, he opened the email. In her typical fashion, Bonnie had addressed the problem head on. He felt nothing but despair as he read her missive.

"Ron,

I know I really screwed up this time. I was stupid enough to think you'd never find out, so my actions would never hurt you. I was wrong. Lying and cheating will destroy a marriage, even if one partner is unaware that it's happening. You deserve so much better. I have never wanted anything as much in my life as I want you to forgive me, but I will not dispute any action you take regarding our marriage. I forfeited the right to be involved in your decision. I love you and wish you the very best. You are a fine man, husband and father. This is entirely on me. I accept that truth, although I hate that I did this to us. You may not believe it, but I love you, and I always will.

Bonnie"

Ron fought back the tears as he read Bonnie's admission and plea for forgiveness. It was like her to accept the blame for her actions once she had time to consider the situation. She was a strong woman who demanded the best from others, as well as herself. He felt empty and could see no reason to respond to the email. He had nothing left to say.

*****

After the morning Bonnie went to see him at the lake cabin, Casey was her only source of information regarding Ron. That Friday afternoon, Casey called Bonnie to tell her she would be going to her father's cabin for the weekend. Ron would bring her back home Sunday evening. Bonnie realized that was how her life was going to be moving forward.

She spent a miserable weekend thinking about how badly she had messed up her life. She had no idea how she could fix her mistake, or even if it was possible to fix. Had she totally destroyed her once happy marriage?

Casey looked quite glum when she came home Sunday evening. "Dad's decided to get a divorce. He can't live with someone who's lost all respect for him. I saw him cry a few times this weekend. I'd never seen that before in my whole life. Do you have any idea how much you hurt him? I guess your boyfriend must be a lot better than Dad."

"He's not my boyfriend and he can't hold a candle to your father," replied a shaken Bonnie. "It was a huge mistake and I deeply regret it. Your father is the best man I've ever known."

"Forgive both Dad and me for being skeptical," retorted Casey. "That wasn't the first time you slept with that scumbag, was it? You've been cheating on us for years, haven't you?"

Bonnie realized it was time she stopped lying to her family. "I slept with him at the two conferences before this last one. It was wrong, and I apologize."

"It was wrong? That's an understatement, don't you think, Mother?" insisted Casey angrily. "You betrayed Dad in the worst way possible. Didn't you swear to be faithful when you married him? Did you have your fingers crossed so it wouldn't count?"

"I know you're upset with me, but not as much as I am. Your father is a wonderful man and a great dad. You know that. What I did doesn't mean I think less of him. I was very foolish," admitted Bonnie sadly.

"Whatever!" declared Casey before marching off to her room.

Bonnie's life settled into a new normal. She and Casey were barely civil to each other. Work became her life raft. Everything there remained normal, except for Sue's cold attitude toward her.

She went to Casey's school events, but usually sat alone unless her mother went with her. It was the only time she got to see Ron. He always sat as far from her as he reasonably could, and other parents quickly noticed. It soon became common knowledge they were getting divorced.

Bonnie occasionally heard fathers, both single and married, make lewd comments and suggestions. It was quite apparent that word of Bonnie's betrayal had spread through the community.

Ron threw himself into his business. That was the silver lining in the entire fiasco. The irony was Bonnie would be getting half of the business. His lawyer had proposed a few tactics which would have decreased Bonnie's share of the business, but Ron refused to listen.

"Bonnie worked alongside me and even supplied a share of her paycheck to keep us afloat back when we first took over the family business," insisted Ron. "There'd be nothing to split up if it hadn't been for her. I'm not going to deny the facts."

Bonnie was quite surprised when her lawyer explained to her how Ron was conceding half his ownership of the business to her. Ron's best friend, Dan, had bought into the company years prior when Ron was experiencing a cash flow crisis. Dan was a silent partner who owned a third of the company. Ron conceding half of their shared ownership to Bonnie, left him in a vulnerable position. He owned and controlled only a third of the business.

"Tell Ron this is too much," insisted Bonnie to her lawyer. "He's the one who gave the business all of his time and energy. If he insists on giving me a share, tell him I'll settle for a tenth of what we own. He'll retain control without any possible dispute."

Ron was nothing if not stubborn. When the snow melted the following spring, Bonnie was once again a single woman, as well as a third owner in Lipton Enterprises. She had been unable to even persuade Ron to speak with her on the phone. He had shut her completely out of his life.

Casey told Bonnie she wanted to spend the summer between her junior and senior year of high school at the lake cabin with her father. Bonnie knew it was yet another effort by Casey to punish her, but accepted that she had earned her daughter's contempt.

For his part, Ron was delighted. He had plans drawn up to almost double the size of the cabin. Owning a construction company made it relatively easy to complete constructions by the end of July. It was now a three bedroom lake home. Each bedroom had its own bath and a good view of the lake. It was a thoroughly modernized and comfortable home.

Ron held an open house for his friends and neighbors at the lake on the first weekend in August. Casey's friends were all invited. One of them brought an older cousin, who Ron could not help but notice. She was a striking blonde who filled out her fairly modest two-piece bathing suit very well. As the day wore on, Ron found the young woman near him much of the time. She laughed at his jokes and flirted with him at every opportunity.

"So, Dad, are you trying to get into Patti's little bikini bottoms?" asked Casey at one point when the two found themselves alone in the kitchen.

"Of course not!" protested Ron. "She can't be more than 25 and I haven't decided to start dating."

"She's 27 and seems pretty interested in you," replied Casey with a knowing smile. "She's been asking how long you've been single, how old you are, what you do for a living, all the stuff women want to know about potential husbands."

"I just met her today," replied Ron. "Don't even think about bringing up the word marriage to me. I tried it once and that was enough."

"I'm not implying anything other than she seems interested. I wouldn't mind if you dated her. She's pretty nice and you need someone to help you get over Mom. From what I've seen, Patti isn't in any hurry to get married. I think she's working on her career right now. That doesn't mean she wouldn't enjoy some male companionship."

"Thanks for enlightening me," joked Ron to his daughter. "That girl is way too attractive to be interested in an old guy like me, but thanks for the vote of confidence. I appreciate your faith in me."

*****

Bonnie's company occupied the top two floors of an office building in the business district. A very popular Italian Bistro was located at the end of the same block. She usually had lunch there every Thursday with several of her friends from work.

Because she kept an informal lunch schedule, she often saw the same people eating a lunch at the same time. Bonnie and her workmates became friendly with employees of several other companies located in her building.

One afternoon, the bistro was unusually crowded and Bonnie's group was unable to secure a table. One of the women from Benson Advertising, which was located on the second floor of her building, invited her group to join them at a large table. They quickly accepted the invitation.

Once everyone gave their first names in the way of an introduction, the conversation began. One of the women with the advertising group was especially attractive and very friendly. Bonnie found herself enjoying the good humor of the younger woman. She smiled as the other ladies began teasing the woman.

"We don't all have a rich boyfriend with a big house on Lake Henry," teased the woman Bonnie knew as Mary. "It must be nice waking up with the morning sun reflecting off the lake."

"It is," agreed the younger woman, "especially with a good looking guy spooning and gently fondling me. It's a real chore getting out of bed."

"If he's the guy who picked you up after work on Thursday, I can see why it would be a challenge," stated another woman. "He looked a little older than you, but seemed to be in good shape. He had all his hair and was pretty easy on the eye."

"Ron's all of that and more," offered the young woman as she smiled broadly. "He's a genuinely nice guy and a very good lover."

Bonnie's friend immediately asked the very question Bonnie didn't want to even consider. "You aren't talking about Ron Lipton, are you?"

"Do you know Ron?" asked the young beauty before adding, "You have to admit he's a good looking guy."

"He's a great guy, but he used to be Bonnie's husband," revealed her coworker. "I think we should change the subject."

"Don't be so dramatic," insisted Bonnie as she leaned toward the younger woman and offered her hand. "I'm Bonnie Lipton. I didn't catch your name."

"Patti Lawson. Ron said his ex-wife was beautiful, but I thought he was probably blinded by love," admitted Patti. "It turns out he didn't do you justice. I hope you aren't upset that I'm living with Ron now."

"I certainly can't blame you, or him, for that matter," answered Bonnie truthfully. "You're a lovely young woman with an amazing figure. I can easily see why Ron would be attracted to you. I do wonder why Casey never said anything about you to me."

"I can't speak for Casey, except to say you've done a wonderful job raising your daughter. She's very intelligent and thoughtful as well as beautiful, like her mother. I enjoy when she visits us," concluded Patti.

That evening, Bonnie questioned Casey as they ate dinner. "Why didn't you tell me your father had a beautiful girlfriend move in with him? That's something I would have been interested in."

"Truthfully, Mom? I didn't want to hurt your feelings. I know how you feel about Dad," replied Casey. "I'm still upset that you cheated on him, but I don't want to make you miserable because of your poor choices. Pattie is really good for Dad. He finally seems happy again."

"This may surprise you, but I'm pleased to hear Ron's happy. He's a fine man and deserves to be with a woman who loves him, even if it's not me."

"I don't think she loves Dad, but she does like him a lot. She's made it clear she's putting her career first for the next few years. She wants to make it big in marketing.

"Are you going to start dating, Mom? Are you in touch with your boyfriend from the conferences? Do you think you may get together with him?" asked Casey.

"Nick? He's not the kind of man I'd look for in a relationship," confessed Bonnie. "He's shallow, somewhat crude, selfish and conceited. I never thought of him as more than a diversion. It turned out he diverted my life into hell, although I knew what I was doing. I shouldn't blame him for my weakness."

"Are you interested in anyone?" questioned Casey. "You're still beautiful. I've noticed how some of the fathers and teachers look at you and go out of their way to be nice to you at my school events."

"Honestly? I think Ron ruined me for other men," replied Bonnie with a sad smile. "The reason for our divorce is known by most of the people in the area. It makes women sympathize with your father while men think of me as an easy score. I suppose I was easy for Nick, but I won't be making that mistake again."

"I just don't understand how you could have cheated on Dad when you love him so much," wondered Casey. "He always treated you with love and respect. What went wrong?"

"I've been asking myself that very question," admitted Bonnie. "I think I began to take your father for granted. I knew he loved me. I was very secure with that love. It somehow translated into trying another man, maybe because I knew I had a safety net at home. Ron was my anchor. He was always there for me. I stupidly assumed he always would be. I could stray a little without him knowing and still have my devoted husband at home. I pray you find a man like Ron when you're ready for a family, and use my experience as a cautionary tale.

"Never take more than you give in a relationship. Be loyal, faithful and honest. If you find yourself considering anything which could harm your relationship, discuss it with him. I've shown you what happens when you lie and cheat."