When Does Love End? Ch. 03

This part 3 of a 5-part story. Please note that there is no sexual activity in this part and very little in the story as a whole as it is written as a romantic rather than erotic tale.

~~~~~~~~ Chapter thirteen ~~~~~~~~~~

Standing in the grey painted utilitarian corridor outside the doctor's office Jack hesitated and took a deep breath, wondering what the outcome of his meeting would be, before knocking on the door.

Did he actually want to go on leave? He was comfortable at the centre and there was always Stacey to console himself with if he wanted. He knew, if he was really being honest with himself, that he wasn't even sure that he wanted to go back home as he had planned. The closer the possibility of it came the more it raised doubts within him.

"Come in." a deep voice called from inside the office, telling him to enter, moments after he had rapped loudly on the wood.

Closing the door behind him Jack moved quickly to the centre of the spacious room and stood stiffly at attention, in front of the large desk, waiting patiently for the officer seated behind it to acknowledge him.

The senior doctor at the rehab centre, a major, was a substantially older man with greying hair. Wearing dark framed glasses and a white lab coat he didn't look up as Jack entered.

"Ah yes, sergeant Maitland isn't it, please take a seat." The doctor carelessly waved his hand towards a chair in front of him.

"Sir." Jack took off his beret and sat down.

Picking up the clutch of papers in front of him the major took some time to read through them before finally raising his dark brown eyes and studying Jack for a moment.

"How are you feeling sergeant?"

"Fine thank you sir. A little unfit but otherwise I'm all good."

"Well sergeant looking over your progress I think it's about time we let you out of here, don't you?" The white coated doctor sitting opposite him smiled and took a moment to write a comment on his notes, "So, you can go home, providing the physiotherapist gives you your final sign off this afternoon."

"Thank you, sir." Jack said, uncertain if he was grateful to be released on leave or not, "How long will I be taking?"

The doctor steepled his fingers, considering the question "It's difficult to say. Four to six weeks at least, maybe a while longer. It all depends on how things go."

"Sir."

"But you'll be required to come back in and have a check up on a weekly basis sergeant, so don't plan any long trips."

"No sir. I just thought I might go back to my home town for a while," Jack finally committed to a choice about his time off, "catch up with a few old friends maybe."

"Good idea." He smiled, "If the physio gives you the all clear later you can get your travel arrangements sorted with the transport office and go as soon as you want."

"Yes sir." He stood up to leave.

"Oh, and congratulations sergeant." The major added at the last minute, smiling again.

"Sir?" Jack turned back to look at him, puzzled.

"You've been awarded the Distinguished Service Medal sergeant. For your last action in Helmund province." The doctor handed him a letter on MoD headed paper.

Reading through it, Jack couldn't help but remember his two comrades who had been killed; his commanding officer Lieutenant Carstairs and his best friend Colm McElheeny.

"Thank you, sir." He said after a few moments of reflection.

He saluted and left the doctor's office with mixed emotions; happy that his stay at the centre was finally over and about his unexpected award but he would miss Stacey and he was still far from certain about his resolve to travel home.

Spending an hour or so packing his few things Jack deliberated again over his decision to travel back to his home town for his leave period. It had been a long time since he had left there to enlist in the army and he had deliberately stayed away for all that time. The fact his mother had also moved away soon after he had gone, to live with her sister in Liverpool, had removed his one remaining family tie to the area he had grown up in.

It was too late to change his mind now he finally concluded. He would do what he planned and see if any of his old friends were still there. If things didn't work out then maybe he could move on somewhere else, perhaps Liverpool to see his aunt or even take a short holiday.

"I guess that's congratulations on two counts. You're all done here now, that's it." Stacey told him later that afternoon as she finished his final session in the gym, "Just keep on with the exercising regime while you're not here."

"It's all good then?" Jack sought confirmation from her as he stepped off the treadmill in the centre's gymnasium.

"Not really but I can't keep you here against your will." The cute blonde said with resignation, "As much as I want to."

"Stace..."

Stacey shook her head, sniffing back the tears that threatened to start flowing "Please don't make it any worse. I can't complain, you were totally honest with me from the start."

Jack knew there was nothing he could possibly say to make it any easier for her, or for him.

"You're a great girl Stace. The best. If there was any way I... we... could be different...." He left the sentence unfinished.

She looked at him and smiled sadly, "I've said it before, whoever she is she's a fucking idiot to ever let you go."

"I'm not going until tomorrow. Maybe we could have a drink tonight." He suggested half-heartedly.

She shook her head, "Probably best not to. I'm not sure I could cope with that."

"I guess you're right. Bye Stacey and thanks for everything. Take care." He shrugged and kissed her cheek.

She gave him a forlorn smile, "If you do ever change your mind... you... you know where I am."

He smiled back but didn't answer as he turned to go.

"Goodbye Jack." She whispered as he walked away, a solitary tear trickling down her cheek.

Making his way to the transport office at the front of the building he wondered for the hundredth time what he was doing.

He had no real reason to go back home other than a profound need to exorcise the ghosts of his past. Staying here he could try to do that with Stacey but deep down he knew that wouldn't have been fair on her. He liked her enough to make it a clean break, however hard that made it for himself.

No, he had to go back and put his past behind him, he realised that now. Then maybe, just maybe, he could move on and, who knows, come back and find Stacey again. However, before he could think about a return to his home town, he had another two very important stops to make first.

His brief visit to the small transport office took little more than ten minutes and he soon had all the necessary travel warrants and documents he required in his hand.

"Just one thing before you go sergeant." The clerk stopped him as he was about to go out of the door, his pen poised above the form he was completing, "Where will you be staying at your final destination? We need to know, just in case we have to contact you."

"Oh... umm... probably the Royal Oak hotel." He said after a moment's thought, "Yeah the Royal Oak."

~~~~~~~~ Chapter fourteen ~~~~~~~~

"Well? Out with it." Claire rushed into the office first thing the next morning.

Glancing up Debbie grimaced at her colleague.

"What happened with Franco? Come on I want you to tell me all the sordid details. I want to hear everything." She pressed on without waiting for an answer.

Debbie suppressed a shudder at the thought of what had almost occurred the previous night, "Not much. He didn't even pick me up I had to meet him in a pub where we had a couple of drinks. Then he tried it on outside in an alleyway."

"And? Come on there must be more to it than that?" her friend pressed her for more information, "Did you fancy him?"

"No, not in the slightest. But I... he did nearly force himself on me... in the alley... up against a wall." Debbie said quietly, her face going several shades of crimson with embarrassment, "If I hadn't given him a hand job god knows what might have happened."

"Well, that's a start. At least you're getting the idea." Claire grinned at her colleague happily.

"No, that's it I'm not. I... I... almost got completely carried away and I hated myself for it."

"Well don't. Just remember the plan. The idea is to get swept up in the moment and for you to get over your hang ups."

"I don't know about that." shaking her head Debbie informed her, "In fact I'm not even sure that any of this is a good idea."

"Why not? You get laid with no emotional interest. It's perfect to get you to move on."

"He's a disgusting lecher and so full of himself. I really don't think I can do it." she continued to protest albeit feebly.

"But you are going to see him again, aren't you?"

"Yes, I agreed to meet him this coming Friday night though god knows why?" Debbie sighed resignedly, "I still don't think I can actually go through with it."

"Well don't reject the idea just like that. Give him another chance hon. It's about you not him."

She shook her head again, "I don't know. You haven't met him Claire, he's an arsehole. So bloody arrogant and full of himself it's not true. The thought of him touching me makes me feel sick."

"I can't see your problem, he's perfect for what we want."

"We? What's with the we? I didn't see you there last night, wanking his short little cock until he came prematurely all over your skirt." Debbie said gloomily.

"He didn't!" Claire looked at her wide-eyed, "Well if he came quick it shows you must have turned him on."

"Yeah, I'm not sure the stains will come out though." Debbie stated, ignoring her comment.

"Look hon I have to go, I have work to do but we can talk about this later, yes?" Claire left her friend to her deliberations as she hurried off to her own desk.

After her friend had gone Debbie sat back and stared into space. She had to decide what she was going to do about Franco. She knew Claire had a valid point, she needed to move on with her life but at the same time having sex with a complete prick like him, that she didn't remotely like, was demeaning to say the least.

Her phone went pulling her back from her contemplation and, with a sigh, she focused her mind back on to work.

It was a quiet Wednesday and the time passed slowly so she couldn't help but occasionally let herself drift back to her earlier conversation with her friend and workmate.

The more she thought about it the more she felt Claire was right. She needed to get past her inhibitions, it had been a long time for her and the longer she waited the harder it became. But it wasn't just the time that had gone by there was something else, something she would never admit to her friend, something she virtually refused to admit even to herself.

"Coffee?"

Debbie looked up from her computer, "Is it five already?"

After a quiet morning the afternoon had suddenly become rather hectic and she had been so immersed in her work that she hadn't been aware of the time.

"It's way past five hon. Hurry up and finish that." Claire grinned, "We can finish our conversation then."

Tidying away her desk Debbie shut down her laptop and picking up her bag joined her workmate on the short walk to the nearby coffee shop they frequented.

"It's my turn to pay. Cappuccino?" She declared heading up to the counter, putting off the discussion for a little longer, as Claire went to find a table for them.

"So? What have you decided?" she didn't even give Debbie a chance to sit down when she returned with their coffees.

She didn't answer at once, taking a minute to stir her cup and consider her response as she shivered. It was stomach-churning imagining herself laying naked on her back, her legs spread wide with the odious Franco thrusting away on top of her, pumping his stubby little dick into her body.

"I guess you're right." She said unhappily after a lengthy pause, "I'll sleep with him and try to get over my issues."

"Finally, the girl sees some sense." Claire beamed happily, "Maybe after this you'll be a bit more of a party girl."

Debbie sighed, "I'm not so sure about that."

"So, Friday night's the night? You're not going to go back on your decision, are you?"

"No. You're right, I guess I need to do this, I need to get the monkey off my back." Debbie stated decisively before taking another mouthful of her drink, "I'll sleep with him. Despite the fact I can't stand the egotistical bastard."

"That just makes it perfect. Just shag him and move on with your life." Claire said happily.

"Yeah, you're right" she replied glumly, "Move on."

Move on to what or, more importantly, who she thought to herself.

Changing the conversation to more mundane and normal matters they put the subject of Friday night aside for the moment.

"Do you remember those soldiers in Afghanistan I was telling you about? Claire asked her.

"Vaguely." Debbie replied with her mind still firmly fixed on the upcoming Friday evening.

"The one that won a medal. I told you about him. Two of his mates were killed. Remember?"

"Oh yeah. I recall you talking about it."

"Well, I heard that, apparently, he's from around here somewhere." Claire declared proudly.

"Did they give his name?" Debbie asked, now interested.

Her friend shook her head, "No not that anyone said. I just heard that he was a local lad."

"I wonder who it could be then? I don't know of anyone in the army, do you?"

Claire shook her head and asked her workmate about an issue they had in the office and the subject changed again.

The pair finished their coffee and parted to go home.

Debbie constantly reviewed her decision to sleep with the loathsome Franco as she walked the twenty minutes or so back to her flat, changing her mind several times during the journey.

"Hi baby, I'm home." She called out as she opened her front door.

~~~~~~~~~ Chapter fifteen ~~~~~~~~~

Still in his fatigues Jack stood on the platform along with a handful of fellow travellers. Ignoring the early morning chill, he waited for the train that would start him on his journey back to his home town. A place he hadn't seen for well over three years.

His mind drifted back to Stacey, the physio he had been seeing, and leaving her behind. What was he doing? He had everything a man could possibly want right here, a place to stay and a beautiful girl who wanted to be in his bed.

Why the hell was he leaving?

The ghosts still haunted his mind though and he knew, if he didn't try to confront them, he would never find any peace. Not with Stacey or any other girl he met, bar one.

Standing alone he turned to more mundane matters and wondered if anyone he had known back then was still around. Maybe they had all moved away just as he had done? Was 'The Coffee Pot' his favourite café still there with old Mrs Williams the owner? Was the Royal Oak still unpainted? Was....?

Dismissing the last of his memories he picked up his bags as the train rolled in to the station and, pulling open a carriage door, he climbed in to begin the first leg of his journey.

It was a short trip and about forty minutes or so later that he found himself standing alone outside the small railway office in the tiny village of Brampton-on-the-Hill.

The street was virtually empty, in fact there wasn't even a taxi rank when he looked around, so shouldering his kitbag he started to walk up the single road towards the local church. He found the cemetery right next to the building just as he expected and quickly located the freshly dug grave he was looking for.

For the next few minutes, he stood and stared down at the headstone telling him that this was the final resting place of First Lieutenant Harry Carstairs.

"You were one of the very best sir!" He said quietly to himself as he put his beret on before snapping to attention and saluting. Then his respects paid he knelt and placed a single rose on the fresh earth.

Reluctantly turning away, his first task completed, Jack made his way slowly back to the tiny station.

The next leg of his journey took him considerably longer to complete and took him all the way down to another cemetery on the outskirts of Milton Keynes, via two trains and taxi.

Corporal Colm McElheeny had been Jack's best friend in the army. The two NCO's (non-commissioned officers) had shared some good times both on leave and on duty and, as he stood over his grave, he remembered some them.

"I'm sorry Colm. I'd have given anything for it to have been me instead of you. You had everything to live for and I... well I don't." he said quietly and wiped his eyes with the palm of his hand.

Placing a rose on the grave he stood up at attention and, once again, saluted.

"Jack?" a woman's voice behind him made him spin round quickly, "Jack Maitland? What on earth are you doing here?"

"Mrs McElheeny." He greeted Colm's mother with surprise.

She came up and hugged him before standing back to look him up and down, "It's lovely to see you Jack, and it's Sarah, but should you be out of the hospital?"

"I'm on convalescence leave Sarah. They discharged me today." He smiled at her sadly, "I'm on my way home but I had to come here first. To... to say goodbye."

"Thank you." She smiled back, "I know Colm would have appreciated you coming."

"How's Francesca?" he asked after Colm's girlfriend.

Sarah McElheeny gazed at him, "How do you think? The poor girl is still totally distraught."

"Give her my love, will you?" he had only met the girl once but he knew what it felt like to lose someone.

She looked at her son's grave, "Would you like to get a coffee Jack? I'd like to talk about him if you don't mind."

Somewhat reluctantly he agreed and for the next hour he did his best to answer Sarah's questions about her son while avoiding any of the gruesome details about the way he died.

"Thank you." Sarah said again as they finished their drinks, "I know you two were great friends and I really appreciate you coming here today."

"I just wish it could have been me instead of him." Jack didn't look at her as he said it.

She leant over and squeezed his hand, "That's exactly what Colm would have said if the situation was reversed. You know that."

He didn't answer, just stared into his empty coffee cup.

"You know you really should go and find her." Sarah said, surprising him.

Jack looked at her for a moment before shaking his head, "It's to late for that. That all ended a long time ago."

"If I met her, I'd tell her she's a complete fool for letting you go and that she's lost herself a good man."

He smiled sadly, "Strangely someone else said that to me not so long ago."

Still holding his hand, she gazed into his eyes "You still love her though, don't you?"

"It doesn't matter what I feel I have to move on. She did and I know now it's time for me to do the same."

Sarah smiled, "It doesn't work that way young man. You can't change what your heart feels no matter how much you want to."

He didn't answer. Instead, he continued to stare into his empty cup and let his mind wander back to her and a time long since gone.

"Let me run you back to the station." Colm's mother offered, interrupting his reflection, "It's the least I can do."

Jack tried to decline her kindness but she insisted and, ten minutes later, dropped him back at the mainline station to wait for the train that would take him home.

He had a fairly lengthy layover until it was due and, as he waited, he kept wondering if he was doing the right thing.

Would he finally rid himself of the heartbreak or would going home bring it all back to him? It was a question he couldn't answer no matter how hard he tried.

Eventually his train arrived, putting an end to his contemplation, and he opened the door and threw his luggage in before clambering up after it.