When We Were Young

He chuckled. "Fair cop. Joanne was the first girl I had genuine feelings for since...you. To be honest I was scared I'd screw things up again. I almost walked away from her, because I was still having issues and didn't think she deserved me, but she kinda wouldn't let me go. I was twenty-three, so you know, I was still young and dumb, but finally the penny was dropping somewhere in this thick head of mine. Jo finished studying architecture at uni and applied for a position in London, wanting international experience. She asked if I'd go with her, and the rest is history."

"Yeah, I heard through various people you were in London. How was it?"

"A great experience, but I never wanted to stay. We lived there for eight years, came back to Australia to get married, then flew back to the UK again. Both kids were born in London too, and I think Jo would have loved to have stayed. But I was getting pretty homesick and there were a bunch of other reasons, so we moved back here four years ago."

"What did you do for work over there?"

"I worked for an investment firm, but when Jo went back to work after Billie was born, I went part time, which suited me well."

Erin thought for a moment. "Wow, I didn't even ask if you finished your economics degree, but I assume you did."

"Yeah, boring as shit, as you know. I don't even know how I passed to be honest, given the way I was carrying on."

She snorted, somewhat derisively. "Yeah you do, Mr maths-wiz. You have a gift for numbers."

"Funny you mention it," he said with a smile. "I chucked in the economics bullshit when I returned to Australia, and did my dip-ed and I've been a maths teacher for the last three years."

"What?" she said, turning to him with genuine surprise. "Congratulations, I'm sure you're an excellent teacher."

"Thanks," he said with a modest smile on his lips. "I'd like to think I am. Can you believe it, our next generations being taught by the likes of me?"

Erin chuckled. "If someone said you'd be a teacher back in our day, I'd not have believed it."

"Yeah," Charlie said with the slightest sigh.

"Come to think of it, I actually think I would've believed it. Teacher suits you more than economist or financier."

"Thanks, I think so too. Jo thought I was crazy and saw it as a step down rather than up. This is part of why we aren't together anymore, because she's so career driven and thinks it's strange I'd change to teaching over a career where I made serious coin. It's not the only thing, but yeah, it's a part of it."

"I'm sorry to hear it," Erin said with genuine sympathy. "Teaching should be considered one of the most respected careers."

"Many don't see it this way, and Jo said I had so much more potential. I suppose it's for the best she and I separated, I think. Hard on the kids though."

Erin didn't know what to say, and now their coffees were empty they couldn't even escape with a sip to occupy their silence. Already conscious of Charlie standing close by, she heard his stomach growl, loudly, and she couldn't help but chuckle. "I see you still have the old Charlie rumble."

"Excuse me," he said, a slightly embarrassed smile on his lips. "But someone needed to break the tension."

"I think your stomach is trying to tell us something."

He gestured towards the kids who were gleefully sliding down a twisty slide, then climbing back to the top, all to slide down again. "I've promised the kids they can have something special for lunch. Their mother doesn't like them having fun food like chips because they're oily and on every menu, so they rarely get to have them, but I like to treat them once in a while. Would you and Cooper want to join us for lunch?"

Erin hesitated, thought about it and remembered she'd mentioned to Cooper they'd eat out, then smiled. "Sure, thanks, we'll join you."

"Great," he said, adding, "You're judging me, aren't you."

"Not in the slightest. I think you're doing a great job, and I suspect you're the fun parent in their eyes."

"Damn straight. They don't live off fish and chips when they're with me, but they should be allowed to indulge once in a while."

"See, you're a good Dad." Erin couldn't believe how much she was smiling, all because of Charlie.

Charlie was smiling too. "I'll give them a heads up."

Billie and Tyler were excited to leave, but Cooper decided he wanted to keep playing. "No, Mummy. I want to play more!"

"Come on, my little man," she said, calmly. "Look at your new friends. Billie and Tyler are excited to go to lunch."

"No!" He pointed at the slide. "I want to slide down again!"

"You need to be reasonable, Cooper. You've had fun sliding down, but now we'll go and have lunch. Then we'll do something different afterwards."

Cooper's face contorted and Erin knew he was about to dig in with a tantrum, and she took a deep breath, readying her mind for the coming battle of wills with her son. Then, right before her eyes, Billie, who was watching them, approached Cooper and whispered something in his ear, and like magic his face lit up with a smile before flashing a frown at Erin to let her know she wasn't entirely off the hook, then joined the other children.

What the...? Erin couldn't believe what she'd witnessed, looking at Billie, who skipped off with the two boys following, and she then looked to Charlie, who raised his eyebrows and shrugged his shoulders.

"Gosh, I have to find out her secret," she said.

"Whatever works, right," Charlie said, grinning, then turned back to the kids, addressing Billie who was already headed down the path. "Okay, my little wizards, you three lead the way, but make sure you turn left up ahead at the sign."

Erin smiled, knowing Charlie was a good father from his interactions with the children. Walking side-by-side with him through the parklands, they followed their children who led out front, and again she was conscious of the fact Charlie was once the man she was sure she'd marry and have children with, growing old together. Back then they'd confessed it was their dream, in the way young lovers do, and thus she'd let her heart accept it to be a given, expecting he'd propose to her one day.

Despite increasing warning signs, she'd considered herself blessed to be with Charlie. It was easy to ignore his drinking binges at parties during their last year of High School and first year of University, because unlike her father, Charlie was generally a happy drunk, and she excused his behaviour because he mostly drank on weekends, and he was so fun and funny to be around. Everyone who interacted with Charlie loved him, and she interacted with and loved him more than anyone else.

She let him guide her, and he encouraged her, especially when she wasn't sure about things, and things always worked out, and they'd shared so many great experiences together.

Except the night she'd followed him into the back of the panel van with Libby and Nik and the others who she didn't know, despite her misgivings about the safety of the vehicle and driver. She'd taken the pill Nik offered, because Charlie took his, showing her it was going to be fun and everything would be okay.

It wasn't okay, and in the days afterwards, when she'd found the will to face him again, he'd angrily accused her of being selfish for ignoring him. He'd yelled, telling her, "I'm sorry about what happened, but you should have answered your damn phone and let me know you were okay. I was worried to death! You're not the only person in this relationship..."

She remembered apologising, telling him she couldn't help feeling angry and upset, because she'd thought he was kissing another girl at the moment she was going down, thinking she would die.

"I didn't kiss Dani, Erin. She tried to kiss me, but I pulled away from her. Ask Lib, she'll tell you."

"I believe you, Charlie," she'd said, still not one-hundred percent sure. But she'd wanted things to be normal between them again. Things weren't normal, and later, when they went to bed, he'd nuzzled his lips through her hair, kissing the back of her neck, but she'd not felt like making love with him, still deeply upset.

"Give me some time," she'd asked him. He'd hugged her back and whispered more apologies until she told him to drop it, and he snorted in a huff and rolled over to face the other way.

"Are you okay?" Charlie's voice was concerned, snapping her back to the present.

She looked up, realising she'd stopped in the middle of the path, lost in her thoughts. "I..."

"It's okay, Erin. No pressure from me. If it doesn't feel right, that's fine, I understand."

"I'm fine. I just didn't...I was having a moment, that's all."

"You sure?"

"I think so." She looked to the children who were about ten metres ahead, Cooper and Tyler either side of Billie, holding her hands. With a smile, she said, "Cooper appears to have made new friends, which is sweet."

"It is, isn't it," Charlie said, watching their children. "It's my favourite thing in the world, watching them play and make friendships."

Erin smiled, nodding in agreement. "It's wonderful."

They walked on in silence except when Charlie occasionally called to children to change direction and take a different path. Erin looked up to the sky, basking in the warm sunlight, listening to the birds in the trees, ignoring all the people around them. Taking a deep breath, she tried to wipe her mind of her recent thoughts, and sighed when she exhaled.

"What a loud sigh," Charlie said.

She took another deep breath and this time let it out with control. "I have to be honest with you, Charlie. I wasn't sure if meeting with you was a good idea, and I questioned your motives and my own, but I guess curiosity got the better of me."

Charlie nodded. "I completely respect your honesty, Erin. I, um, guess my motives were pretty simple. I wanted to know how you were doing, and I'm glad to find things are well with you. Like I said, I feel pride seeing you've done well for yourself. But I want you to know I'm not after anything more than today's catch up, at least if you don't want to. I'm not trying to rekindle a friendship or anything else. I blew my chance a long time ago. It took me a while, but as I've said, I think I've grown up, and I have a pretty good life despite my marriage breakdown. On that note, I didn't think it worth mentioning before, but recently I began dating someone for the first time since my separation. But what I wanted most from our meeting today was to know you were doing okay, because many years ago you were the most important person in my life, and I know what happened was completely because of me. I'm glad you're doing well, so I got what I wanted, but I also want you to be comfortable with today."

Erin took her time considering what Charlie told her. "I don't quite know how to respond. I guess I wanted the same things, like, to know how you're doing. I'm glad you're doing well and sorted yourself out, and appear have many good things going for you now. I'm not quite sure if I feel entirely comfortable right now, but our catch up hasn't turned out as awkward as I feared it could be, and I'm definitely glad to see you."

Charlie smiled. "If you don't mind me saying, we still kinda click after all these years, and it didn't take me long to divulge all my dark secrets to you."

"Yeah, I noticed," she said. "So, you just mentioned you've begun dating someone. Is it the tall bridesmaid from the wedding by any chance?"

Charlie chuckled. "No, not Zoe. She's an absolute stunner and she latched onto me at the wedding, but I'd already started seeing someone else. Her name's Isobel and she's another maths teacher at my school."

"Aw, Charlie, wonderful," Erin said, genuinely happy for him. "Tell me about Isobel."

"Well, she's beautiful, fun, kinda a bit younger than me."

"How young?"

"She's twenty-three, so there's twelve years difference between us."

"That's not too bad, I was thinking you were going to say she's fresh out of university."

"She kinda is. But she's great and we laugh a lot together."

"Awesome," Erin said, meaning it. "And she likes the kids, of course?"

"Yeah, she does. Because I have them most weekends I think Isobel might sometimes feel they get in the way of us going out, but I don't know if I'm over thinking things, because she's never actually said anything."

"You might be over thinking."

"Yeah. Anyhow, here we are at the café. Looks busy, so if we can't get a table, perhaps we can get take-away and eat under a shady tree?"

"Sounds good to me. I've photographed weddings here, and there's plenty of options about."

Fortunately they were seated at a recently vacated table, the children at one end while Erin and Charlie sat at the other end, opposite one another. Once again she was overcome by the feeling of being in a family setting with the man she'd once loved, who'd also loved her more fiercely than any other man she'd ever known, and who also broke her heart harder than anyone else. Try as she might, she couldn't dismiss the thoughts, attempting to ignore them. The children were rowdy, which helped, giving her something real and current to concentrate on. Fortunately Erin came prepared with a colouring book and pencils for Cooper.

"Good thinking, Mum," Charlie said.

He called me Mum, she thought, as a man might say to the mother of his own children.

Tyler wanted a colouring book too, and Erin asked Cooper to share his pencils. There was initial protest from Cooper, who wasn't used to sharing, but Billie came to the rescue again, and soon the boys were happily colouring in together, and even giggling.

"How does she do it?" Erin whispered to Charlie, astonished.

"She's a wizard. I don't question these things."

Erin chuckled. "Shouldn't she be a witch?"

"No, she's Harry Potter, and Harry's a wizard."

"Of course, I should've known!"

"You'd think you'd be up to date on these things, Rin, since you used to read those books obsessively."

Rin, a nickname used by her closest friends since Primary School, along with her other childhood nickname, Rusty. Few people she knew used them anymore, generally only Libby still calling her Rin. She turned to Charlie, but he wasn't looking at her, but rather he was smiling and watching their children colouring in and chatting and giggling.

A waitress took their order and the children coloured and giggled, both Charlie and Erin helping them when required. Their chat was mostly about their kids, and then food arrived, fish and chips for the children, steak sandwich for Charlie and avocado focaccia for Erin.

The café was crowded, including several other families, and more than once Erin wondered if someone they'd known from back in school would see them, thinking they'd married and had three children. They definitely looked like a happy family.

There were other families in the café with children, some loud and noisy to the point of obnoxiousness, and other's sitting quietly. Billie, Tyler and Cooper sat chatting, playing, colouring in, picking up chips and pieces of fish in their fingers and eating, the three of them laughing and happy.

Erin smiled at Cooper, watching him interact with Charlie's children, lamenting he didn't have a sibling or close cousins. Cooper noticed her and smiled back, telling her, "I love you, Mummy."

"I love you too, buddy."

"Isn't it the sweetest thing in the world," Charlie whispered, "When they tell you they love you for no other reason than because they love you."

Still smiling, she said, "Sure is."

Eventually everyone ate their fill and Charlie asked for the bill. "I'll get this."

"No, I can't let you get ours. I'll pay for me and Cooper."

"No, I insist."

"Charlie, no, I insist, I'm paying for ours."

He relented with a smile. "Only because you insist."

They paid their bill, and on the way out Billie stopped the young waitress who'd served them, saying, "Thank you for our food. It was delicious."

"Thank you, young lady, I'm glad you liked it," the woman said, beaming. She turned to Charlie and Erin, whispering, "Your kids are very well behaved, and I don't think I've said this to many customers."

Charlie and Erin smiled at the waitress, and Charlie said, "Mine aren't always this way, so it must be the food here. Top notch, they loved it, thanks."

There were more smiles, then they stepped back into the sunlight, Erin and Charlie putting on their sunglasses in unison. Erin stopped, mulling over a decision she'd come to.

"We're going to go, Charlie," she said. "I've enjoyed catching up and meeting your family, and so has Cooper. We have a few things to do this arvy, so, yeah."

"Sure," he said, smiling. "It's been great, Erin. I'm happy you came, and I'm happy things are good for you. I've enjoyed our catch up, ay."

"I think Coops has enjoyed making new friends too, haven't you Coops?"

"Are we going," Cooper said, looking up at Erin.

"Yes, my little man. So what do you say to Billie and Tyler?"

He looked at Erin and said, "I don't want to leave!"

"We have to, Coops, we can't hang out with them for all the day, we have other things to do too."

Cooper stomped his foot. "Yes we can!"

"No, we can't, so can you say bye to your new friends, please."

"Will I see them again?" His big pale blue eyes, inherited from her, were pleading.

Erin looked from her son to Billie and Tyler, who looked back with expectation, Billie saying, "Pleeeease."

She couldn't help but smile, then she looked to Charlie who gave her a smile too, and finally she looked back to Cooper. "Maybe we can. We'll see, but I'll have to speak with Billie and Tyler's Daddy. Okay."

"Okay, Mummy."

She turned to Charlie. "Looks like we'll have to organise a playdate for the kids."

"For the kids, sure," he laughed.

"It's been good to see you, Charlie."

"You too, Erin. Take care."

"You too..."

Take care, Charlie...

~0~

On their way home Cooper ignored the suburbs flashing by the train windows, instead talking excitedly about Billie, who called herself Harry, and did you know she is a wizard, and Tyler was a giant man named Hagrid, and they'd called him Ron, and he couldn't wait to see them all again. "And you can talk with the happy snowman again and maybe we see them tomorrow!"

Erin laughed. "You have childcare tomorrow. But maybe we can catch up with them on another weekend."

"Can they come to my birthday?"

"Aw, Coops, we haven't even discussed your birthday yet."

"I hope Billie and Tyler will come to my birthday."

Erin smiled and said, "I'm not going to make a promise, but I'll think about it."

~0~

Several weeks later Erin stood in her mother's kitchen, sipping at a cup of tea and looking out the window over the sink, to where Connor was playing basketball with Cooper. Her brother lifted her son, who was holding the ball, to the hoop fixed over the garage door, and Cooper dropped the ball through.

Connor whooped loudly, his deep voice booming through the open window. "Swish! Nothing but net."

Cooper gave his uncle a big grin and they high fived, then he said, "Again!"

Connor laughed. "Okay, but you have to be fair on me this time, and start back at the line here."

Lisa approached Erin, and they both watched Connor and Cooper playing. "Your brother is great for Cooper."

"I know, he's a natural with kids. I can't help but think it's a shame about he and Mia. She was such a lovely girl."

"I suppose being an Army wife wasn't easy for her. And the IVF not working out and all that, too."

Erin sighed. "Their kids would've been so cute and it would be great for Cooper to have more cousins."

"I'm sure Connor has no shortage of opportunities, and who knows, he might get his chance to have kids if he meets the right girl."