Whispers and Murmurs

"They're still going to lose their asses, but it won't be because of Edwards and Elswell," Valerie laughed happily when Robert showed her the spots for social media.

In fact, the Hawkes ordered a thirty second spot, one that showed all seventeen of their gourmet sandwiches with their seven side items featured. They decided that the prime rib sandwich should always be the last sandwich featured; Snooker was very proud of his prime rib sandwich on hard bread.

"Apparently he's never eaten it," Robert muttered to Aderyn and she giggled.

They'd taken to enjoying their coffee breaks together every morning. And, Robert changed his lunch time to coincide with Aderyn's lunch time so that they could spend the entire hour together.

They talked, they laughed, and they shared their disappointments with one another. Robert made her laugh when he told her he was deeply troubled to find out he was fifteen again. His dad had Robert out cutting the grass not even eighteen hours after he'd moved back into his old room.

Robert wondered aloud when his dad would have him washing and waxing the old pickup truck. That had been one of Tim's favorite chores for Robert before Robert married Donna and moved out of the O'Neil home. Smiling, Robert confessed he would miss her when she decided to go on maternity leave.

"Well, you could always stop by and see me," Aderyn suggested, smiling despite her quickly forming blush.

"Especially if you're willing to change diapers," she smiled, rubbing her bloated belly. "Remember? I'm having twins. A second pair of hands would really be great."

Aderyn was on maternity leave when O'Neil V O'Neil came before a judge. Judge Marie Robichaux decided that a fifty-fifty split with Robert paying court costs, both parties paying their own attorney's fees was equitable. There would be no spousal support; the O'Neil's had been married for less than a year when Robert had vacated the marital home. Slamming her gavel down, Judge Robichaux asked her bailiff to call the next case.

"Robert, I, can, can we talk?" Donna begged as Robert followed his attorney out of the courtroom.

Robert turned, dark eyes blazing as he looked at his former wife. Donna's own eyes were too blurry from her tears to see the fury in her soon to be ex-husband's eyes but Peter Neulin did wonder at the seething anger in his former neighbor's glare.

"No," Robert snapped, then strode away.

>>>>>>>>>>>>

April first fell on Saturday. As Old Man Wellman's damned lawnmower woke her from a deep slumber, Donna thought of a few pranks she could play on her roommate. Then Donna reminded herself what last year's pranks had cost her.

"She probably wouldn't blow up the way Robert did; God! I can't believe how bad he took it," Donna muttered to herself. "But do I really want to take the chance?"

Swiveling to get out of bed, Donna felt with her foot for her slippers. She found the left one but couldn't find the right one. Getting out of the bed, she looked around underneath the bed, underneath the nightstand, all around the room. The other slipper was nowhere to be found. She put on some fuzzy socks and left the room.

Reaching the kitchen, Donna grabbed a mug from the cabinet and prepared her cup; two teaspoons of creamer and one teaspoon of sugar. Then, turning to grab the carafe, Donna froze. She could not find the coffee pot. The appliance was not where it normally sat. There was a blank space on the countertop where the coffee pot normally sat.

"Nice socks," Quinn said, sitting at the breakfast bar and sipping a cup of coffee. "Where's your slippers?"

Donna ignored Quinn, still trying to figure out where the coffee pot was. Quinn was drinking a cup of coffee; Donna could smell fresh brewed coffee but Donna could not find the coffee pot.

"Well, as soon as you're done with your coffee, we need to get busy on housework," Quinn said cheerfully.

That was a tradition Quinn had instituted the moment she moved into the house. Any weekend they both were off, they cleaned house. From top to bottom, from side to side. Even Robert wasn't as meticulous about cleaning as Quinn Lee was. Quinn cleaned down to the microbial level.

Donna finally found the coffee pot in the over the range microwave oven. She turned to say something to Quinn but Quinn was already gone.

Taking a hefty gulp of her coffee, Donna squealed. Quinn had put salt in the sugar bowl. The coffee creamer was mashed potato flakes.

Returning to her bedroom to strip the bed, Donna found that both slippers were sitting right where they normally sat, on the side of her bed. She stripped the bed, then shrieked blue murder; there was a snake in her bed just underneath the fitted sheet.

The snake did not move and on closer inspection, after several long moments, Donna saw that it was a rubber snake.

"Quinn!" Donna screamed.

"What? Oh, cute! When did you get a rubber snake?" Quinn asked, face a mask of innocence.

Opening her closet to get her shoes, Donna saw that she only had left shoes in her closet. Calling out for Quinn did no good; the woman was running the vacuum cleaner over her carpet.

Wiggling into her shorts, Donna carried the bed linen down the stairs to the laundry room. On her guard now, Donna gave a sniff to the detergent before putting sheets into the machine.

"Got room for a couple towels?" Quinn asked.

"Yeah," Donna agreed. "By the way, where are my shoes?"

"Your closet?" Quinn suggested, dropping the soggy bath towels into the washing machine. "That's where I usually keep all of mine."

And, sure enough, all of Donna's shoes were in the closet now. But none were with their match. Donna couldn't help but laugh.

Going down to work on cleaning the kitchen, Donna squealed again. The washing machine was vomiting soap bubbles everywhere. Donna realized, the soggy towels Quinn had tossed in with her bed linen had to be the culprit. Fortunately, she knew to add vinegar to the washing machine. Then she mopped up the wet floor.

Finally done with her cleaning, Donna carefully closed and locked her bedroom door. Then, she closed and locked her bathroom door. She made sure her clothes were secured with her in the bathroom, before stepping into her shower.

"Ung! Ung! Damn it!" Donna grunted, trying to squeeze some shampoo out of the bottle.

Unscrewing the cap, Donna saw the thin membrane of plastic wrap stretched taut over the mouth of the bottle. She carefully smelled the shampoo before applying it to her hair. She certainly did not want to find out that Quinn had put hair remover in the shampoo.

Again, she nearly broke her hand trying to squeeze body wash from the bottle. Shaking her head, she removed the film of plastic wrap from the mouth of the bottle.

And, stepping out of the shower, Donna saw that locking the door had done no good. Her towel was gone. And her clothes had been replaced; her jeans were now a pair of sweat pants that had belonged to Robert and a large Hawaiian shirt. The sweatpants could be pulled up to just under Donna's armpits and of course the shirt looked ridiculous.

"Wow!" Donna muttered, wishing this day would come to an end.

And, at the end of the day, trying to get into bed, Donna discovered Quinn had somehow snuck into her room and short sheeted her. By this time, the jokes had gone from perturbing, baffling to annoying and sometimes frightening to downright angering.

"God! Thank God it's only one day out of the year," Donna sighed, finally able to get into bed, finally able to drift to sleep.

>>>>>>>>>>>>

On the afternoon of Monday, April 1st, Donna wandered up and down the aisles of the Burns & Burns Grocers grocery store. As she searched the shelves of the grocery store, she wondered what mayhem awaited her when she got home. Quinn had left the house before she did; the first children arrived at the day care center at five thirty. But, Quinn had been home for two hours now, plenty of time to sabotage the entire house.

"Scout's honor, I won't do anything for April fool's Day" Quinn had promised last night, then laughed uproarisly when Donna had asked her if she'd ever been a scout.

Looking up from the cans of corn, Donna saw a beautiful young blonde approaching her. The girl had a slight bulge visible in her cute lavender colored maternity dress. Her smile was a wide, friendly smile.

"Hi! You, you're Donna. Donna O'Neil," the girl said.

"Uh, yeah, yes I am," Donna admitted, scrutinizing the girl's face.

The young woman had waist length light blonde hair, large brown eyes, an adorable upturned nose and a wide, infectious smile. Even in the maternity dress's loose folds, the girl's impressive breasts were noticeable.

"Robert had your picture on his desk; I used to work with him at Edwards and Elswell," the girl explained.

"Oh! Oh yeah. Hi, how have you been?" Donna said, still trying to place the young lady.

"Oh, I'm good; what about you?" the blonde asked.

"I, I, well, you know," Donna said, trying to plaster a smile on her face.

"Well, I saw you come in; just wanted to say 'Hi,' "the woman said and walked past Donna.

"Uh, yeah, hi," Donna agreed, watching the young lady walk around the end of the aisle to the next aisle over.

Dropping some canned corn, some mixed vegetables and some cans of diced tomatoes into her grocery cart, Donna turned the aisle.

Donna froze, seeing the beautiful young woman pushing a stroller built for twins. And next to the woman was Robert, her Robert. And he had one of the twins in his hands, holding the giggling girl over his head.

"And you eat all them beans?" Robert said, "You going grow sooo big! You going be even bigger than Daddy."

He looked good. Robert looked fit, healthy, and happy. His thick brown hair was a little longer than he used to wear it, his dress shirt was unbuttoned at the throat, allowing a tuft of his sexy chest hair to peek through. The suit trousers were snug, showing that he still possessed his narrow hips and taut backside.

Looking again at the blonde, Donna recognized the girl.

"She! She was supposed to tell you!" Donna screamed, pointing to the smiling Aderyn. "She was supposed to get a bunch of your workers say stuff behind your back then tell you it was all just a joke!"

"Like the joke of telling me you had a miscarriage? When Dr. Sweetman actually did a tubal ligation?" Robert asked, dark eyes switching from delight to bitterness as he looked at his ex-wife.

"I, how, how did you..." Donna stammered, clutching her chest.

"Insurance got filed, Donna. Charges were right there on the paperwork," Robert snapped, putting his daughter into the stroller with her brother.

"I, I..." Donna stammered as Robert grabbed his grocery cart and rounded the corner of the aisle, out of sight.

"Hey Donna?" Aderyn smiled, pushing the stroller to follow Robert around the corner of the aisle. "April Fool."

The End

**Author's Note: I write these stories for my pleasure; I post them here for your enjoyment. Thank you for reading my stories.

I especially thank those that take the time to leave comments, good and bad. I also thank those that take the time to rate my works, those that 'Favorite' my work.

Robert O'Neil is the third child and the second son of Tim and Peggy O'Neil, previous owners of O'Neil's Furniture & Appliances. Tim was introduced in the 'Quick Repair Services' series. Robert is named after his uncle, Bob O'Neil, also mentioned in the 'QRS' series.

Connie Edwards, the 'Edwards of Edwards & Elswell Marketing Group is first introduced in the 'Flowers In The Heart' series in the Transgender & Crossdressers category. She is also prominently featured in the 'Men in Blue' series in the Lesbian Sex category. Connie also makes sporadic appearances in other stories centered in and on the greater DeGarde area, usually as a photographer of weddings or school functions.

Valerie Elswell, the 'Elswell' of the Edwards & Elswell Marketing Group is first introduced in the 'Parasols Magazine' series.

Saladelights, the trendy salad restaurant is first introduced in 'Nude on a Bear Skin Rug' in the Lesbian Sex category. It does make several appearances in stories located in and around the greater DeGarde area.

Makeda McMann is a primary character in 'X Marks the Spot' in the Lesbian Sex category.

Peter Neulin and his wife Charlene are first introduced in '1, 2, No 3rd Strike' in the Loving Wives category.

Brian McCall, the biological father, the sperm donor of Aderyn's twins is a minor character in the 'Quick Repair Service' series.

Trevor Williams is first introduced in 'Johnson, Johnson & Lambert' in the Romance category.

Donna's gynecologist, Dr. Ellen Sweetman is first introduced in 'Tuff as Nails' in the Loving Wives category. She makes sporadic appearances in other stories centered in and around the greater DeGarde area.

Old Man Wellman, the next door neighbor with the loud lawnmower is a minor character in 'Motel Acadiana' in the Anal category.

The Dr. Whitehouse that taught Robert Auto-CAD is a primary character in 'Jack O' Lantern' in the Anal category.

The smiling young man that serves Donna the papers of Robert's petition for divorce is Richard Boudreaux. Richard is introduced in the 'Yearbook 2005' series in the Novels and Novellas category. He makes appearances in several other stories centered in and around the greater DeGarde area.

Courtney Simone, Donna's supervisor is briefly mentioned in the 'The Broussard Sisters' series in the Group Sex category. She is the step-mother to Elaine and Elise Simone.

Quinn Lee, Donna's roommate is a primary character in 'Q Without U' in the Loving Wives category.

Snooker's Sandwiches, the gourmet sandwich shop is mentioned but not named in 'Vodka: Tropical Passion' in the Group Sex category.

Have a swell day. And some of you, have a swollen day.