White Van Man Foot Infatuations Ch. 02

Ch. 02: Taken for Granted.

Tod Ford would not forget the first White Van Man he had served, honoured, and paid tribute to: Rob Daly.

Served: by washing his white van. Honoured: by praising his tireless industry. Tributed: by kissing the sole of his white-socked foot.

And to impress Emir during his try-out to convince him to accept and secure his unpaid services, Tod had voluntarily tidied the litter-strewn cab of Rob's white Mercedes Sprinter van, then washed Rob's feet in his soapy water bucket before putting on Rob's new pair of on-the-house white socks for him.

That had been on Friday, the day of his successful try-out at his 'job interview' with Emir Yilmaz.

And now, since Friday and for the fourth consecutive day, Tod observed his avowed daily ritual. Tod got to his knees before his framed display on his wall - the framed display of Rob Daly's gifted pair of four-days-worn white socks, the soles of which Tod had deeply sniffed as requested by Mr. Rob before framing them behind glass to honour him daily for three years without fail by solemnly bowing to them.

Tod's avowed daily solemn ritual duly observed, he rose from his knees to make the added daily devotion that he had not informed Rob that he would also unfailingly confer. Tod kissed his prized 12-inch by 6-inch framed glass-fronted exhibition - so that he would never forget his first.

It was 6:30 a.m. when Tod left the house where he lived with his parents on free room and board and a monthly allowance of £200 to walk the short distance and arrive early for his 7:00 a.m. start on his first day at his place of unpaid and undocumented employment: Conham Car Wash.

Tod's three-year 'vocation' of unpaid work: Serve, honour, and tribute, White Van Man.

***

It was 6:40 a.m. when Tod arrived at the nearby business enterprise where he had bonded himself to the husband and wife owners for three years. Tod entered the canopied yard outside Emir Yilmaz's backroom office to check that all was ready and operational for his 7:00 a.m. start. Tod found all in order, including a 50-litre backup container of car shampoo on hand for a quick changeover, enough for his twelve-hour day.

Emir's backroom office window swung open. Emir said, "Tod - you are early! Good to see you are so keen! Come in through my door - I want to make a phone call."

Tod needed no further explanation.

Tod had volunteered this extra service to Emir on Friday - it was Tod's second incentive to Emir to accept and secure his unpaid services. So - the precedent had been set and adopted as a future routine.

And already - first thing on the Monday morning, on his first day of work - Emir was taking Tod for granted.

But that was fine with Tod - more than fine. Obeying and submitting to Emir Yilmaz and his wife Irma and addressing them as Master and Mistress for facilitating his unpaid three-year vocational servitude to white-socked White Van Man and enabling him to pay his humble foot-kissing tributes to said vital economic stalwarts was a fair trade.

Tod entered the door into Emir's backroom office and said, "Good morning, Master. Congratulations on winning your bet on the football."

Tod was referring to Saturday's first-leg World Cup qualifier between Turkey and Greece, in which Emir had bet £1,000 on his national team, Turkey, to win 3-0 at odds of 5/1.

Emir said, "Tod - I won five thousand pounds! All thanks to you! It was an unmissable omen! You, offering to work for me for three years, unpaid. Three-nil - you see?"

Tod said, "Yes, Master. I see." Tod thought the omen was a flimsy surety - but Emir had bet on it as a certainty and cashed in.

Emir was again wearing the red shorts and shirt of the Turkey national football team. And, of course, his backless white Crocs - the trademark footwear of the six Yilmaz brothers, all of them Conham business owners.

Emir said, "Tod - I thought you had failed me! I thought you had cost me a thousand pounds - until that controversial injury-time penalty to make it three-nil. And now, Turkey has what should be a decisive lead going into the second-leg tie on Saturday in Athens." Emir smiled and said, "So, Tod - can you signal another winning omen this week for me? Irma likes to shop!"

Tod smiled back and said, "Master - I will do my best for you. As always. And for Mistress Irma. And now - Master! Your phone call!"

Tod walked to the exact spot at the whitewashed wall from where, away from his desk by the window, Emir had his best view into the canopied yard. Tod sat on the floor with his back to the wall and his legs wide open, the back of his head resting against the football-size smudge on the wall, about three feet above the floor.

Tod said, "Please - my honoured Master! Make yourself comfortable!"

Emir responded, "I certainly will - my commendable servant!"

Emir strode right up to Tod and turned his back on him. Emir then slid the ball of his bare left foot to the open heel of his backless white Croc, wiggled his toes, and then raised his bare sole behind him to plant the bottom of his heel on Tod's forehead and wrap his toes around Tod's balance-aiding nose. As soon as he was comfortable and secure in his foothold on Tod's stable and supportive face, Emir reached into the side pocket of his shorts for his mobile phone and called someone on speed dial. Using his new employee Tod's face as his phonecall-footrest, Emir chatted on his phone until 07:00, when a white van pulled into the yard.

Emir removed the bare sole of his left foot from Tod's stable and supportive face and returned his foot to his backless white Croc.

Emir said, "Commendable servant - you serve me well! But Tod - I need to curb your fetish-driven desire to serve, honour, and pay your humble tribute to White Van Man. So, during your long working days, I shall factor in brief timeouts for you - ten-minute, phonecall-footrest breaks. Such timeouts will occur whenever there is a vacant or cancelled ten-minute slot - or when I need to create one for a phone call. Now Tod - get up from there! Time for work - hop to it! It is your first white van of the day - the first of many! And your first White Van Man - also the first of many!"

Tod said, "Yes, Master. And thank you again, Master, for facilitating my three-year vocation. I can't wait to get started - serving White Van Man!"

Emir said, "Tod - remember! I will be watching you and listening to every interaction. So do not disrespect my customers - no matter the provocation. And above all - do not get carried away in performing your humble tributes. You won't have time for that - we operate a quick transition system. Now go! I will call you inside for your first phonecall-footrest break when I am ready to call my brother Mert - in an hour."

Tod said, "Yes - Master. As you say."

Tod then exited Emir's backroom office door to the yard. The canopied yard that, until today, Emir had set aside for van drivers to self-wash their vehicle for half-price. But now, for the duration of Tod's 12-hour day, 6-day week, three-year 'quid pro quo vocation', the yard was set aside exclusively for white vans - for Tod to wash for their white-socked drivers.

Tod took a moment to admire the sleek lines of the small white van parked on the concrete of the canopied yard. It was an older model and well-used - a few dents and scrapes and its paint dulled by years - but still retained its grace. Tod admired the elegance, the majesty - the verve and vivacity of Italian stylish design: the Fiat Fiorino.

Tod reckoned he could wash a van of this size in under eight minutes, allowing him two minutes to pay his humble tribute to the White Van Man and the smooth transition to the next white van and White Van Man.

White Van Man wound down his driver's window and said to Tod, "Well? Are you just going to stand there, gawping at my van? Or are you going to wash it for me? Because I haven't got all day - I've got work to do! I usually wash my van myself to save money - every little helps. But if you are going to wash it for me for half-price at three pounds - and I still get a receipt for six pounds to set off against my tax returns - crack on! From now on, I will be a regular customer. And see..." he said as he poked the sole of his right white-socked foot through his opened window and wiggled his toes... "white socks. When you have washed my van - you can kiss the sole of my foot! That's what you want - isn't it? Kiss the sole of my white-socked foot? In tribute? For letting you wash my white van? I couldn't believe it when I heard Rob Daly talking about you at the pub."

Tod said, "Good morning, sir! Yes - that is what I want. Thank you! If I may say so, your van has plenty of character! And congratulations on being the very first official customer of our new white-van washing scheme. And, as for white socks - the second necessity for participating in our scheme - Mr. and Mrs. Yilmaz are offering them in their promotional sale. White Van Man can buy one pair for one pound or three pairs for two pounds. Every little helps! And now, sir - please relax! Wind up your window, and I will jet-water your magnificent van to start."

White Van Man said, "I know about the white socks. I bought an economy three-pack when Irma gave me my receipt for six pounds. And so I am still a pound up - and you are washing my van for me! Emir and Irma have got a good thing going here! Tod - you want to serve White Van Man? We'll keep you busy!" He then withdrew his right white-socked foot from the window ledge of the driver's door and wound up the window.

Tod enthusiastically set about cleaning the Fiat Fiorino. Seven minutes later, Tod had washed the small van and jet-water rinsed it.

Tod said, "There, sir! All done! Clean as a whistle and bright as a pin!"

White Van Man wound down his driver's window and said, "That was quick - maybe too quick. Do I need to check your work? I hope not."

Emir called from his open backroom office window to White Van Man. "I see Tod has done a fine job for you, Simon. Let him pay his tribute to you!"

Simon poked the sole of his white-socked right foot through his opened window as before. Simon said, "Okay - fair enough! Tod - pay your tribute!"

Tod said, "Yes, Mr. Simon! Thank you!"

Tod performed his time-constrained four-point foot-pecks. Tod kissed the bottom of Simon's heel, his arch, the ball of his foot and under his toes.

Tod said, "Mr. Simon - thank you! I wish I could honour you with a much longer tribute. But, Mr. Yilmaz has cautioned restraint with my after-wash tributes - not to take liberties with indulgent customers. That's because we operate a quick turnaround system. When one White Van Man leaves, another is ready and waiting to pull in for his ten-minute time slot. I see that my next White Van Man is here. He drives a Vauxhall Vivaro."

Simon withdrew his right white-socked foot from the window ledge of his driver's door. Simon said, "Okay. I won't keep him waiting! Thanks, Tod. I'll see you next week - same day, same time. I've already booked my ten-minute slot! What a way to start my Monday morning! Truly marvellous!"

Tod said, "Yes, sir - Mr. Simon! And again - thank you for allowing me to wash your superb van and permitting my tribute! See you next Monday!"

Simon gave a friendly wave to Emir, and then he started the engine of his Fiat Fiorino. Tod listened to the tick-over of the well-used engine as if it were classical music. Simon put his Fiat Fiorino into first gear, and Tod stood to ramrod-straight attention and raised his right hand to his temple to acknowledge Mr. Simon's departure with a smart salute. Simon touched his temple at Tod's accolade and smiled like indulgent royalty as he exited the canopied yard.

Tod remained standing to ramrod-straight attention to receive his next White Van Man. The driver of the white Vauxhall Vivaro pulled in for his 07:10 - 07:20 slot and wound down his window.

Tod said brightly, "Good morning, sir! What a magnificent vehicle you drive! Thank you for granting me the honour of washing it for you!"

White Van Man smiled and said, "At ease, fellow! And yes, the Vivaro is a dream to drive - and I am its proud owner! Well - this is what I call a welcome! I'm Vincent Vardy. My friends call me Vinny. I am a self-employed courier. I do home delivery for some of the bigger shopping chains, and I do some private contract work. This morning, I've got a consignment to pick up at Manchester Airport. But - enough about me! So - you must be this guy, Tod, I've been hearing a lot about. You want to serve White Van Man - and to kiss his white-socked soles for letting you?"

Tod said, "Yes, sir - Mr. Vincent! That's me! I want to even things up a bit between us - because it is only fair and proper. You are a hard worker - you drive all hours to make ends meet. And I am a shameless shirker - a further-education student who lives at home with his parents on free room and board and a handsome monthly allowance. You roll your sleeves up and get stuck into the daily toil of serious business - I put my feet up and get stuck into some serious relaxation. Mr. Vincent, I study online in the evenings, enrolled on a harebrained government-funded three-year philosophy course and getting nothing done - while you are an important cog in the UK's industrial engine and getting something done. So I am proud and honoured to serve you, sir. And now, Mr. Vincent, sir - please relax! Wind up your window, and I will jet-water your superb vehicle to start. And, Mr. Vincent, I trust you will permit me to tribute you afterwards by kissing the white-socked sole of your foot? Just four times - I promise! Just four quick pecks! Four times, to denote and to demonstrate my respect, reverence, admiration, and appreciation of White Van Man."

Vinny Vardy said, "Tod - you bet! And Tod - you can call me Mr. Vinny. You might be surprised, Tod, by how many White Van Men would like their white-socked soles kissed by you to express your high appreciation for our economic endeavours. Tod - you recognise White Van Man for what he is! And Tod - washing our vans for us? That's a great bonus. So, Tod - don't beat yourself up and talk yourself down! In coming here to Emir's yard to even things up with White Van Man - you are no longer a shirker!"

Tod said, "Mr. Vinny, sir, washing your excellent vehicle for you is an honour and a pleasure. So, thank you for valuing my token service. And kissing the white-socked sole of your foot four times afterwards, to tribute you, sir, will be a privilege and a pleasure. So, thank you, Mr. Vinny - for both condescensions!"

Vinny said, "I was at The Mancunian pub on Friday night, and I talked to Rob Daly. Rob told me he was impressed with you - very impressed. Rob said he gave you a rough time to test your mettle. And how did you react? You asked Rob to permit you to perform a couple of voluntary extras for him: tidy his cab and wash his feet. Rob said you asked him to give you the white socks from his feet. Rob said you wanted to frame his dirty white socks behind glass and display them on your wall to bow to them daily without fail for the duration of your three-year van-washing contract with Emir Yilmaz - so that you would not forget your first White Van Man."

"That's right! Mr. Vinny - I have heard Mr. Rob's name traduced, his rectitude impugned - his character maligned. But Mr. Rob was good enough to gift me the white socks from his feet - to treasure and to symbolise them. I have framed his dirty white socks behind glass and displayed them on my wall. And in observing my promise, I have gone to my knees to bow to them in homage every day since. And for every day of these next three years, without fail, I will continue to bow to them, kneebound, in my respect to honour Mr. Rob - my first White Van Man."

Vinny said, "I'll tell you, Tod: I wish I had been your first White Van Man! And - I nearly was! I was ahead of Rob Daly in the self-wash queue on Friday afternoon when one of Emir's car washers, Suli, came asking which of us White Van Men were wearing white socks - and I was. But then I had to leave the queue on an urgent call to make a pick-up at the airport - losing my place to Rob Daly. Tod - how unlucky was that? To miss out?"

Tod said, "Mr. Vinny, sir - that was an unfortunate trick of fate."

Vinny said, "Yes - very unfortunate! So - if I gift you the white socks from my feet after you have kissed both of them, will you treasure them, too? And equally? Just like Rob Daly's? Will you frame my dirty white socks behind glass and display them on your wall to unfailingly honour me daily for three years by going to your knees and bowing to them in reverence? And Tod - I'll spread the word. I will tell all the White Van Men I know about your unusual dedication - your unmatched adulation of White Van Man! You will soon have a growing collection of gifted, dirty white socks to frame behind glass and display on your wall to pay daily homage to!"

Tod said, "Mr. Vinny - yes! I give you the same promise - the promise that I gave to Mr. Rob! And yes - please! Mr. Vinny - please spread the word to your associates! You road warriors are my heroes! Every one of you!"

Vinny nodded, smiled at Tod, and then wound up his window. Vinny then turned in his driver's seat and planted both soles of his white-socked feet flat against the window for Tod to preview.

Tod smiled. Vinny would allow Tod not four but eight foot-pecks of respect, reverence, admiration, and appreciation.

Tod powered up his jet washer and wet Vinny's van to start.

***

It was not an hour but two hours later, at 09:00, when Emir called from his opened backroom office window. "Tod - I want to make a phone call."

Tod needed no further explanation.

Tod entered the door to Emir's backroom office and made straight for the section of the whitewashed wall from where, away from his desk by the window, Emir had his best view of the canopied yard when he used his mobile phone to make a call. Tod sat on the floor, his legs wide open and the back of his head resting against the football-size discolouration about three feet above the floor - the discolouration, the result of Emir habitually resting the bare sole of his foot there.

Emir smiled down at Tod from where he sat with his feet propped up on his desk, ankles crossed, and the bare heel of his uppermost foot tapping against the open heel of his backless white Croc. Emir said, "Tod - you have been working nonstop for two hours and washed twelve white vans. So, I have created a ten-minute window for you to rest and recuperate."

Tod said, "Thank you - Master."

Emir said, "I am pleased with your work, and I am delighted with your interactions with my customers. Irma will be pleased and satisfied also. You told me you would work quickly and efficiently - and you do. You pay your humble tribute to White Van Man with proper solemnity. And you show restraint: you are not overlong or overindulgent in doing so. Tod - I am impressed. You are maintaining your ten-minute slot van-washing and White Van Man tributing schedule. Now rest - attend my phone call."

Tod said, "Yes - Master. And thank you."

Emir's wife Irma came bursting headlong into Emir's backroom office.

Emir said, "Irma - whatever is the matter?"

Irma came to a standstill when she saw Tod sitting on the floor with his back against the whitewashed wall, his legs open wide, and the back of his head resting against the football-size smudge about three feet above the floor. Irma said sardonically, "Emir - I hate to interrupt when you are about to make a phone call." Irma then put her hands on her hips, bent her left leg at the knee to pop her heel from her loose-fitting black leather flat and said, "And Emir - what is this? Are you letting Tod rest? Already?"

Emir said, "Irma - my darling! We don't want our devoted money-maker Tod to burn out prematurely! Do we? In the last two hours, Tod has washed twelve white vans and paid his humble tributes to twelve White Van Men. We need his fuse on a slower burn - to help him last out his full three-year bondage to us. Irma - my precious! What is it you want?"