Whodunit Inc. Ch. 01

Editor's note: Yes, the characters are loosely based on a cartoon. Get over it.

Scruffy Rogers and his trusty sidekick mutt Doobie were walking along the road late one night when they came upon an abandoned truck. Scruffy was a tall, lanky fellow who would have fit in well with the hippy culture back in the day. He had a mop of brown, unkept hair and whiskers on his chin that wanted to be a goatee. He weighed all of 150 pounds soaking wet. It was well known that Scruffy and Doobie were both scared of their own shadow.

"Say, Doobie, what do you think this pickup is doing just sitting here like that?" Doobie just looked at him blankly. Upon further inspection, there was a shiny silver suit of armor sitting behind the wheel. Scruffy scratched his chin. "What the heck?" Suddenly, the head fell off the armor. "Holy crap! Let's get outta..." Scruffy turned to find his dog 100 yards away, running like his hair was on fire. "Hey! Wait for me!"

When they got back to town, they gathered at the Whodunit, Inc. headquarters, which was the basement of Ted's parent's house.

Whodunit, Inc. was formed by four high school friends who shared a common interest of solving mysteries. Instead of going to college, the four formed the company after graduating high school and traveled the country looking for cases. The company was comprised of, along with Scruffy, Ted Smith, Debbie Blake, and Vicki Dinky.

Ted was a tall, handsome young man. He wasn't always the sharpest tool in the toolbox, but he was very good with people. Not to mention, his family had money, they could use their basement as a headquarters, and he had a sweet SUV.

Debbie was a tall, beautiful red head with an hourglass figure and wasn't afraid to show it off. She had been a cheerleader in school and was quite athletic. She had a black belt in karate, was adept at picking locks, and was a quick thinker.

Vicki was a buxom young woman with chin-length auburn hair and freckles. She was the nerdy smart one in the group. She always wore square black glasses and incredibly tight orange sweaters that showed off her D-cup breasts matched with short-short skirts that exposed her toned legs.

After Scruffy described the scene with the pickup and suit of armor, the group went to investigate.

Ted scratched his head. "What the heck is a knight's armor be doing sitting in the driver's seat of a pickup truck with the keys in the ignition in the middle of the night?"

Vicki found a note stuck between the armor and the seat. "Deliver to James Black, Professor of Archaeology, London, England."

Debbie found a delivery slip reading, "Deliver to the State Museum."

The gang drove the truck back to their headquarters and, the next morning, drove it and the suit of armor to the museum and its curator, Mr. Dick Johnson.

"Thank you for bringing this to the museum, but I'm not sure it was a good idea," Mr. Johnson said nervously.

Debbie handed him the delivery slip. "But it says to deliver it to the museum."

Mr. Johnson looked at the slip of paper. "Yes, I see that. But Dr. Black has disappeared, you see."

"Really? What happened?" Ted asked.

"Have you heard of the legend of the Silver Knight?" The four shook their heads. "Well, legend has it that the Silver Knight -- this suit of armor -- comes to life on a full moon. Dr. Black was delivering this suit to us all the way from England...and last night was a full moon...I fear the legend may be true."

"That's ridiculous," Vicki replied.

Meanwhile, two museum workers were unloading the suit of armor. When asked what to do with it, Dr. Johnson told them to take it to the medieval room. As the men left, Doobie followed them. Along the way, he found a strange pair of glasses lying on the floor. He took them into his mouth and went back to join the group.

As they drove back to town, Vicki once again said the legend was ridiculous and there was more to the story. Finally, Doobie dropped the glasses next to Scruffy.

Scruffy held up the glasses. "Hey, buddy, cool glasses! Where'd you find these?"

"Did you find them at the museum?" Debbie asked. Doobie nodded his head.

"Those are some weird looking glasses," Ted noted. "I think we should do some research on them."

After a quick google search, they discovered the glasses were mainly used by jewelers, scientists, and archaeologists. It went on to say they were made in England. The gang immediately connected them with Dr. Black. Sensing something was definitely going on at the museum, they planned their return to investigate.

That night, they returned to the museum. Vicki first disabled the alarm system, then Debbie deftly picked the lock on the back door.

Ted took charge. "Okay, let's split up. We can cover more ground that way."

"Wha-wha-what exactly are we, you know, looking for?" Scruffy asked nervously.

"Anything suspicious," Ted replied.

"Thanks! That's very helpful!"

It wasn't long before Vicki, in the classic paintings room, discovered one of the paintings was missing. She stared at the area all around the missing painting with her magnifying lens.

"That's strange. Very strange," she muttered. She heard a faint, quick swish through the air. She raised her hand to the sudden sting in her neck. "Ow!" Then the room went black.

Debbie was in the rare Roman statues section of the museum when she noticed an empty podium along one wall. Upon closer inspection, she could see the markings left behind by something that had been sitting there for a significant amount of time.

She ran her hand across the empty platform. "That's odd," she whispered. She heard a quick, faint swish through the air. Her hand slapped her neck. "Hey! Ouch!" Then the room went black.

*****

30 minutes later, Scruffy, Doobie, and Ted met at the spot where they had started.

"Did you see anything?" Ted asked.

"No! I don't think so, anyway. Did you see anything, Doobie?" The mutt shook his head. "How about you, Ted? Did you see anything?"

Ted shook his head. "Nope, nothing. Have you seen the girls?"

"Not lately."

"I wonder where they are? Shoot! We need to get out of here before somebody finds us! But how are we going to find them? They could be anywhere!"

Doobie stuck his long snout in the air. Scruffy pointed at him. "Right! I'll bet he can find Debbie's perfume!"

"Of course! Lead the way, Doobie!"

*****

Vicki was the first to open her eyes. At first everything was blurry. Her mind was in a fog. She felt groggy. She quickly realized she was lying on a hard, concrete floor. Her hands were bound above her head and tied to a pole. Debbie was a few feet away. She was naked and sitting upright leaning against a column of some sort, with her hands bound behind it. She was just coming out of her brief sleep as well. Then it dawned on Vicki that she was naked, as well. She briefly struggled against her restraints before realizing it was no use.

"Debbie! Debbie!"

Debbie quickly awakened. "Vicki? What...what's going on?! Where are we?!"

Vicki calmly shook her head. "I don't know. Don't worry, we'll figure a way out of this."

"I seriously doubt it," came the voice from the darkness. When he stepped into the light, Vicki recognized him immediately.

"Dr. Johnson. I should've known."

Dr. Johnson nodded. "Yes. You brats have interrupted my operation. That's unfortunate. For you."

Another sinister voice came from the darkness. "Very unfortunate."

"Dr. Black, I presume?" Vicki asked flatly.

"Clever girl," he said as he stepped into the light.

"You're stealing artifacts, aren't you? And replacing them with fake ones. Correct?"

"Very clever. Too clever for your own good," Johnson replied.

"You and your friends will be dealt with soon enough. But first we're going to have a little fun," Black said with a sly smile.

"What...what are you planning?!" Debbie asked as Johnson moved closer.

Both men began to peel off their clothes.

Dr. Johnson smiled. "I've got somebody I'd like you to meet." His pants fell to the ground, revealing a large, stiff rod. "Miss Blake, I'd like to introduce you to my Dick Johnson."

"Stay away! Get away from me with that thing!"

Dr. Black was stripped from the waist down with an exposed thick, hard tool and sitting on Vicki's chest.

He pawed and pinched her 38 inch bust. "Look at these cans, will you, Dick! Jesus! These must be D's!"

"Very astute observation, Dr. Black," Vicki said flatly. "Oh! Hey! Be...be careful with my nipples, please. They're...they're very...mmmmm...sensitive. Oh!"

Black twisted them like thick radio knob between his fingers. "Look at these fucking things! I'll bet you could hang Christmas ornaments on these things!"

"You...you say that as if...mmmmmm...as if I haven't."

"Ha ha ha! Listen to her!"

"Ahhhhhh!" Debbie squealed when Johnson tugged her own pointed nipples.

"Ha ha! She could poke an eye out with these things!"

Black looked down at Vicki. "These tits are just begging to be fucked," he growled.

"Don't be ridiculous. They're simply glands encased in flesh. They're unable to beg for anything."

"Is that right? Let's find out!" Black dropped his own gland wrapped in flesh into her massive cleavage, placed a hand on each side of her mounds, and pressed them together. His post disappeared in the warm skin. "Oh yeah! That feels nice," he moaned.

Dr. Johnson was standing over Debbie. "Speaking of begging, I believe these luscious lips should do some begging of their own." He grabbed her chin and pulled it up, forcing her to look into his long, skinny face. His pole bounced in front of her face. "Go ahead, beg. Beg for me to fuck your skull."

"Never!" SMACK! Her cheek turned red after Johnson's hand raked across her face.

"Say it!"

"Never!" SMACK! Her other cheek lit up when Johnson backhanded her. She began to sob.

"I can do this all day! Now say it, goddammit!" He raised his hand. She flinched.

"Just say it, Debbie. We're in no position to bargain," Vicki moaned while Black rode her tits.

Debbie looked into Johnson's evil face with tears streaming down her cheeks. "P-p-please. Please. Just...do it."

He raised his hand again. "Do what?!"

"Please...please fuck...my...skull. Ggggffffkkkk!"

With her head pressed against the column, she took the full force of his thrust. "Oh fuck!" he cried out. His force jammed his rod down her throat. "Goddamn! She took it all on the first pump!" She coughed and gagged as his balls bounced off her chin at a steady pace.

Vicki looked at Johnson's twisted face. "Do you realize how unsanitary that is?"

Johnson looked at his partner. "Will you shut her the fuck up?!"

"With pleasure," Black growled. "Open wide, bitch."

"Ggggguuuuukkkkk!" Vicki gagged when Black zipped past her lips.

*****

Ted and Scruffy followed Doobie into a large, square room full of rare antiquities. The only way in or out was the entrance they had just come through.

Ted looked around the room. "Looks like we've hit a dead end. Where could the girls have gone?"

Scruffy looked at his faithful companion. "Whaddya think, Doobie?" Ignoring them, Doobie continued across the room. "Where ya goin', buddy?"

Doobie walked under a velvet rope and sniffed at a wall below a historic painting.

"Doobie! Get away from there!" Ted shouted.

The dog pawed at the wall. The men ran towards him in a panic.

"Doobie! Stop!" Scruffy implored. The mutt's claw caught on the corner of the painting and pulled it down, causing the painting to go crooked. "Holy crap! Doobie! Stop!"

The men stopped in their tracks when a section of the wall suddenly slid back and to the right. It revealed a long, dark corridor.

"What the hell?!" Ted asked.

"I dunno! I...I...I'll bet you want us to...to...to go in there, don't you?"

"We have to, Scruffy!"

Scruffy's shoulders sank. "I was afraid you were gonna say that," he sighed.

*****

Back in the hidden storage room, things were coming to a head. Literally.

Johnson had a firm grip on Debbie's red head. "I'm gonna shoot my load down this bitches throat!"

"Mmmmmmm! Mmmmmhmmmm! Mmmmmmhmmmm!" Debbie moaned.

Sweat rolled off of Black's grey face. "I...I've got other plans for this...grrrrrrrr...this fat titted cunt!" he growled.

"Mmmmmfffffggggg! Mmmmmmffffggggg!" Vicki gagged in reply.

Johnson's jaw clenched. "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" Debbie's head bounced off the column behind her. "Fuck! Fuuuuuuuuck!" Debbie felt his hot, thick spunk shoot down the back of her throat while Johnson's Johnson continued to dive in and out of it. "That's it! Take it all!"

He jammed his rod into her skull hard. This time he held it there. Debbie began to cough and gag. Her body begged for air. The dimly lit room began to fade. Johnson finally pulled back. Her chest heaved as she gasped for air. Her long eyelashes batted when he shook his wand at her, sending droplets of white across her face.

"Ha! She swallowed the whole load! What a slut! Ha!" he laughed.

"I...I...(cough) I most certainly am not!" she protested. "I'm a good girl!"

"Ha ha ha! The way you sucked my cock, I know that's not the first one you've had in your face!" Her face turned red and she turned away.

Black pulled out of Vicki's face and he stepped back. His body trembled while he stroked himself hard and fast.

"I'm gonna cover those big, fat tits with my cum! Oh yeah! Uh huh!"

Vicki lifted her sizable chest. "Come on, old man! Let's see it! I wanna see it! Come on, old man! Do it!"

Spurts of milky white sprang from Black's old hose, falling onto Vicki's fabulous globes. Each new glob splattered across its target, eventually coating her chest in a sticky white substance.

Vicki looked down at her freshly painted mounds. "Oooooo yeah, that's it," she purred.

"Goddamn that felt good!" Black moaned.

Johnson froze. "I thought I heard something!" He raised his finger to his lips. "Shhhhh!"

The room fell deathly quiet. Then the faint sound of voices could be heard.

Black's eyes went wide. "Shit! Somebody's coming!" The two criminals dove back into the darkness.

"Down here! We're down here!" Debbie yelled.

What were scuffles turned into quickened footsteps. Scruffy and Ted rounded the corner with Doobie leading the way. Both men were shocked at what they found.

"What the hell?!" Ted asked.

"Why...why are you, you know, naked?" Scruffy asked.

"It's a trap!" Vicki yelled.

"Run! Go get help!" Debbie implored.

Scruffy laughed. "Ha! You sound like General Ackbar. 'It's a trap!' Ha ha!"

Ted pointed at Vicki. "What's that all over your chest? And why are you guys naked?"

"It's Dr. Blacks ejaculate! Now go! Before it's too late!"

Ted's face twisted. "Dr. Black? I thought he...huh?"

"Hey! Like, ow!" Scruffy yelped.

Both men felt the cold steel of a revolver pressed against the base of their skulls.

"Ruh roh!" Doobie barked.

"Run, Doobie! Go get help!"

Doobie turned and sprinted away.

Black turned to Johnson. "Hey! The dog is getting away!"

"Fuck that mutt. What's he gonna do? Call the police? Ha!"

Doobie raced through the museum and out the cracked door in which they had entered to begin with.

Johnson leaned into Ted and whispered in his ear, "You should've listened to your little girlfriends, dumbass."

"You won't get away with this!" Ted shot back.

"Did you know your girlfriends suck dick like whores?" Black chortled.

"Uh, no," Scruffy said with near reluctance.

"What're we going to do with these four brats?" Black asked.

"I don't know yet," Johnson replied. "But let's have a little fun while I think about it."

"'A little fun'? What the hell does that mean?" Ted asked.

Johnson nodded at Scruffy. "You, go untie your little bitches from the poles. But keep their hands tied! Don't try to get cute, or this one gets a bullet in his brain." He pushed the gun harder into Ted's head. Scruffy hesitantly walked towards the girls and did as told. "Jim, tie this big fucker up before he gets any bright ideas." While Scruffy released the girls from the columns, Black tied Ted's hands together behind his back. The girls struggled to their feet, their hands still bound behind them. Johnson shoved his weapon forward, causing Ted to stumble. "Get over there! Take her place. You!" He pointed the gun at Scruffy. "Tie him up. Good! Or they'll find four dead bodies in here once the stench begins to fill the museum in a few days."

"You won't get away with this. You know that, don't you?" Vicki asked flatly.

"Why? Because you kids stumbled onto this by accident? Fuck you! Black and I will be out of here by morning and on a beach in the Bahamas tomorrow sipping Mai Tais and counting our millions." When Scruffy was done, Ted struggled against his bindings. "Good. Good job, dumbass. Now get on the ground. Jim, go tie this dumb motherfucker up."

Soon, the four detectives were tied, with Ted and Scruffy where Vicki and Debbie once were, and the girls standing to the side.

Johnson pointed the gun at the two girls. "Okay, sluts. Take their pants off."

Debbie's eyebrows buried themselves under her purple headband. "Do what?!"

Vicki frowned at her two captures. "And how exactly are we supposed to that? Our hands are tied behind our backs."

Johnson grinned back at her. "Use your teeth if you have to."

"Do what?! What...what if I chip a tooth? My teeth are perfect!" Debbie asked.

Vicki snapped her head around. "Really? We're naked with our hands tied behind our backs. We've just been asked to remove their pants. And your biggest concern is chipping a tooth? Really?"

Debbie frowned and looked at the ground. "But...but they're perfect," she sighed.

Everyone jumped when Johnson barked, "Get to it!"

The girl's faces dove into Scruffy and Ted's crotches. Their teeth yanked at everything possible. They spun and used their hands as much as possible. The boys shimmied and squirmed as much as they could. 20 minutes later, the task had been accomplished.

Black laughed. "Ha ha ha! Look at these two. Tied up and hard as rocks! Ha ha ha!"

Johnson joined in. "Ha ha ha! Must be into bondage or something! Ha ha ha!"

Debbie stared down at Ted. "Really? You''ve got a hard on? In the situation we're in and you've got a hard on?"

"Well...well...come on, cut me some slack! I mean, there you are, all naked and gorgeous. I'm sorry!"

Debbie blushed. "You think I'm gorgeous?"

"Of course I do!"

"Okay, that's enough of that shit!" Johnson barked. He swung his gun between Debbie and Ted. "Let me guess -- you two are boyfriend/girlfriend."

Ted nodded. "Yes."

Debbie shook her head. "No!"

Ted's head snapped around. "No?! Did we...did we break up?"

"Break up? We were never like that!"

"But what about when you...you know...did that with your mouth?"

Scruffy's jaw dropped. "She gave you a blow job?!"

Ted nodded. "And she let me, uh, you know, put it in her, you know..."

"Shut up, Ted!" Debbie howled.

Ted continued. "Butt."

Scruffy's eyes were wide as saucers. "You fucked her ass?!"

Ted nodded. "Several times."

"Holy crap! You lucky bastard!"

"Shut up, Ted! Jesus!"

Vicki stared at her friend. "Is that true? Did you and Ted have oral and anal sex?"

Debbie stared at the ground again. "Well...you know..."

Johnson and Black howled in laughter.

"Ha ha ha! I knew she was a fucking whore! Ha ha ha!" Black roared.

Johnson waved the gun at Debbie. "Okay, slut, let's see what your boyfriend thinks about watching you suck another man's dick. Go on. Get over there! Get busy, slut."

Debbie was mortified. "You...you want me to...give Scruffy...a blow job?!"

Scruffy's face beaned. "Sweet!" Then he noticed the glares of his three friends. "Er, I mean, oh no."

"Best get busy, bitch!" Black barked, pointing his gun at her.

"Oh my God," Debbie moaned as she shuffled across the floor. Soon she was on her knees above Scruffy's legs. Her eyes glanced at what she was about to feast on. My God! He's huge! She stared into his wide eyes. "Don't you dare enjoy this." Despite her warning, she could feel herself getting warmer.