All Comments on 'Wingman'

Interesting story that had me riding the ICE from Frankfurt to Bremerhaven and seeing the overhead speed indicator reading 255 kph with just the slightest shake to indicate movement. The only question I had was that he didn't know Peggy was so young. He should have seen her passport at least once so her age should have been obvious.

Well done! I like the way you tell a story...keep em coming!

NICE!!! ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

What a thoroughly delightful story. Enjoyed every word.

Yes, I copied Cracker270's comments.

5* fav and follow. Bravo!

Absolutely delightful! Reading this story took me back 65 years to my year and a half junior year abroad, pretty much the same places, though not quite so adventurous. ;-) You just brought back so many good memories. Thanks for sharing.

Your a great story teller!!!

Keep them coming.

5 🌟 s

FH

The main character was likeable and mostly acted as a mature, well-adjusted man throughout the story, which was refreshing. The realistic fallout of a failed marriage and resulting emotional upheaval wouldn't have fit the tone of this story but you left enough mention in there of him having sad moments that it wasn't completely jarring. I liked the humor of the story very much and Esteban and Peggy made for a very sweet and fun pair. Therein lay the problem with the story, though.

Like afanoffanlit and MaverickX I felt that you did an injustice by not making Esteban wind up with his Peggy in the end. It's not that Veronica was a bad character or less attractive or even less suited for Steve than Peggy, it's that we were never shown that she was MORE suited than Peggy. I can see where the author in you felt that it would be a nice twist that he didn't end up with the girl who showed up at the cafe to show Malibu Barbie that getting back together with Steve was never going to happen. Unfortunately, you fell into another literary trap... you made Peggy TOO appealing.

Then, after selling her so hard to your readers, you followed up with only the most cursory view of Veronica as a person. Why does Steve think of her so much? She was only supposed to be a one-night hook up for him. Sure, she was hot and apparently their kisses were great, but what else made him pine for her so much he got bored at a week-long orgy with three gorgeous women? That was... not a great plot event, by the way. It was shallow and kind of silly and cheapened the plot in my opinion. It didn't ruin the story but it was a bit cringe.

Getting back to Veronica, though, sure she's hot, smart, athletic and talented. We know this because we're told so and inferred it through her sports team involvement and course of study. We were SHOWN that Peggy was all those things, however, and in a way that made her much more interesting and appealing. So, why was Steve pining for Veronica so much when he had Peggy by his side? We're told they exchanged calls and emails and he had one night when they first met where he made out with her and talked a bit. That's all. When did he suddenly get all serious about her? It just doesn't fit. It's almost like you just didn't want him to end up with Peggy and ruin the "wingman" status that coincided with the title, so you said he fell in love with Veronica just because you said so. That weakened the story a lot.

So, despite the critique above, this is a great story. It's funny, it's interesting, it's charming, it's well written, it has two excellent characters and some fun sub-characters. The events that happen are described just enough that we get a sense of setting without being bored with inconsequential details of the locations. The sex scenes are hot and believable (excepting the orgy which you made dull for plot reasons). Unfortunately, a lack of description and fleshing out of his relationship with Veronica and a pretty flimsy, somewhat forced-feeling "break up" with Peggy keeps this tale from being amazing rather than just great. Eliminate the dude-fantasy plot device lesbian orgy, and either go all in finding ways to bring Steve and Peggy together as a couple or dial back Peggy's affection for Steven and spend a lot more time introducing Veronica and convince us readers that she's even more adorable and suited to him than Peggy and you've got pretty much a perfect story. Regardless, thanks for sharing such an excellent tale with us.

So much fun! Clever, and friendly, too. You have our permission to do more like this anytime! :)

Good story, but Quintius brings up some good points

Although the pace drags in a couple places and the reader has to work to keep the shifting timeline straight, a nice story with interesting characters. The humor factor was dramatically boosted with the invitation to the homeless folk to camp out in the formally happy home. Thanks, Griscom!

Keep 'em comin'.

A fun read, definitely agree with Quintius however.

Although the story can be a little confusing with the flashbacks, I gave it a 5 star rating and added to my favorite list. It surprised me as I was expecting MC to be married to a different woman, nice twist at the end. Well done.

Taking an extended European vacation on her dime is great. Using her cards to pay for all of the divorce costs, even better. Giving temporary shelter to the homeless… perfect.

Well, I waded thru all of your stories, I have never smiled and felt like laugh much at these LW stories but yours were great with some subtle humor and some not so subtle humor, very good. Now get busy and write some more, PLEASE!

Way too much time with Peggy to end up with Veronica.

3 stars because after about the fourth page the light frilly banter got kind of 'over-the-top' boring. The ending was not much of a surprise, Barbie was blonde, a Yankee and stupid.

I never refer to people living in the USA to be 'American', because they are not the only 'Americans'. Everyone living in the North & South & Central Americas are 'Americans'.

Engaging and fun but the story needs to be pared back. There are just too many words. Still, very worthy of five stars. Strong work.

While there's very little emotional depth, or really depth at all, it was fun and frivolous.

I'm not really a big fan of the whole telling a story purely by flashbacks, so I tended to skim large portions, but I still enjoyed it.

Decent humor

Reading the dour comments, it's obvious what's the matter with the world today--no sense of humor. Interference with the neural pathways to the bobnewhart complex must be a side effect of Covid.

Lighten up!

Griscom, thanks for your excellent skills and the delightful read.

A great plot.

And very well written.

It had all the elements of a great LW story.

The before, during and after the big bang.

The stories inside the main story.

The interesting characters and the humor.

Being European myself, I have to congratulate Griscom

on his European part of the story.

Insightful and realistic.

Down to the Spanish female football payers.

(Sorry Yanks. You may feel like you own the word 'Football'.

But nevertheless it's the international name

of the world's most popular sport.)

There was no way Steve was going to jump into bed

with one of them.

Southern European women are like Pierce Brosnan

described latin women in the film Matador;

"All blushy, blushy. No sucky, fucky".

I'm glad to see a story from Griscom

that doesn't have a flash story feeling to it.

He sure showed us here, that he's more than capable of writing one.

Top ratings from me.

Liked this one quite a bit.

Why not Peggy? 'cause she wasn't ready to settle down. She was pursuing Bi, and he wasn't the kind to really be happy that way. She still felt bi to me, even with the wedding pending.

She was a Pal, not a Mate... if you will pardon the pun.

Green-something

As other have said an excellent story . Funny , humorous, different and a nice length to let it roll along. Thanks

Superb

Such jocularity! I enjoyed this story as much as the last times I read it, such fun. "Dumb as a bag of hammers" 😂🤣

I wish someone would explain in detail how the name "Peggy" comes from Margaret??????🤔😳😱

I love Peggy.

This was a fun story!

Enjoyed the story, and liked the outcome. Thanks for your writing.

Excellent story - i laughed, I cried. Actually, I didn't cry, i just laughed a lot

Loved this story! For such a serious topic, I enjoyed the balance of humor. Wonderful characters!

A fun comic romp!😂🤣🙏👍👌

Yes! Loved it!

Oh my god…. That was insanely hilarious!!

LOL Great! Really liked the meeting at the end of page 1 and then the rest was equally good. The 3way lezzie orgy was so so

Too cute to deduct any stars!

Classic. Got a little derailed with the lesbian orgy but after rereading that part, it woukd appear that was primarily so Peggy could get the MC to disengage and move towards Veronica. Some amazing humor and one liners. Will never forget the "pearled my emotional harbor" phrase. So many funny lines but at the same time deep and sad. It was good to see a story that did not follow the typical LW guidelines. Starts off with him already split from Lori then flashes 5 years ahead. His relationship with Peggy was well done. I think she engineered the lesbian orgy more to get the MC to move to Veronica because Peggy was (a) going to school, yes but also (b) because she was having real.problems letting go and the pinkie promise was getting hard for her. Not how the activities with Joanna and Alexandra die down quickly after Veronica claims Steve. Btw like the Steve Miller Easter egg. Author writes extremely well. Lori was unbelievably dumb. She gets pregnant by the fat cameraman while drunk, then rolls it over into having a lesbian affair with the sportscaster's wife, then into it with the athlete himself, losing everything for a stupid confrontation and Europe getaway for what a week or sex with the married couple? And gets stuck with fat man's kids. Wtf? Her risk vs reward analytics were shot to hell. She really is dumb as a bag of hammers. The MC would have understood if she wanted a divorce as they both got married to early and infatuation was not enough. They had changed quite a bit and were not meant to be married. She was still pretty delusionalnin the end.

Sad little grey man dreaming of power and cleverness, wishing he had the smarts and balls to be one up on the woman he hates.

A fairytale for the lonely, bitter “real men” sitting in tiny apartments, hating the world and their lives.

Everything is some woman’s fault, isn’t it?

Yo, @Ruttweiler, you read it, so . . .

Griscoim, please write some more. If you can respond to a commenter who writes like he lives in his mom's basement you can write some more of your entertaining stories They're funny, well written, good grammar and some of them make me laugh out loud. SO: please give us some more. Tanglosax

A superb flight of fancy. I was highly entertained, laughing out loud at some of the one-liners.

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

Well written and funny. 5-stars

Overall I liked it, but the lesbian orgy part of the story line was pointless, and made no sense. Both Steve and Peggy were fighting their growing feelings for each other, and were really enjoying each other's company. There was absolutely no reason for her to explore her curiosity right then. She could have waited until after Steve was gone. Like I said, it made no sense at all. Still a good story overall though

Hysterical!!! It was well-written and funny and he kept it together, even though he was crushed. 5 stars, the Bear definitely approves, and don't listen to the anons. They obviously didn't get invited to the lesbian orgy. I really thought he would fall for Peggy, but that's O.K. your version is just as good. I loved it.

The BEAR

Excellent story, funny, wonderfully loving, fantastic character building and just overall a nice read! 5*

"It was the Doolittle Raid of my Pacific Campaign of growing balls again, after she pearled my emotional harbor."

5⭐ for this sentence alone!

Second read; even better, in spite of knowing how it comes out. I was able to better appreciate the nuances of the interactions. Great read. lpw

What a delight, well done, earned one of my rare 5’s!

Interesting, if a little overcomplicated. Satisfyingly free of error except for one fun one: "I had come up with some line of clueless questions about sites to see that would keep her busy talking to me ..." Was she looking for a place to build a house or start a business?

A good story with so many dumb bs. Fucking hate writers like this, making the story longer than it should be

Very funny. For those who don't appreciate the humor, lighen up Francis! And yes the sentence with "pearled my emotional hatbor" is out of this world in terms of excellence. 5 stars.

el hombre BTB ....!!!!

Reitero, BTBMAN aquí!

The Joanna and Alexandra barging jn ther holiday and the orgy was so fucking unnecessary, like other parts too in this story

Every time I read this, I love it. Thank you.

Great story, Griscom, thanks for sharing.

5 stars.

Loved the story and the female "wingman". No where near Peggy, my buddies and I had a female wingman in college and beyond. The smartest, most kind, and sophisticated woman I've known in my life. She died too early but your story brought back those fond memories as well. Ironically, her name was Peggy!

Really good, with humanity and emotions and also over-the-top sexual escapades.

What's with meeting a soccer player for 30 minutes and deciding she's the one and then having at it with someone you REALLY connect with,and then...

Life, and your story, can be complicated.

Well done.

Peggy and that resolution would have messed me up. I suspect you were trying to make her that important....

Five for you

Hahahahaha

Trop long à lire cette histoire sans intérêt. J'ai fait l'effort, donc je mets une étoile.

That was a lot of fun. Thank you, it was entertaining all the way through and a nice finish.

Well done!!!! Thank you!!

Way way way overrated. It's a barely 3 page story of plot that's padded wirh inane travelogue bullshit.

Thanks for a really fun read, No, make that for an excellent and uplifting read!

I'm kind of disappointed that he didn't get proper spousal support in court, given salary discrepancies :( Seems he and his lawyer fucked up big time.. However, I guess the petty revenge + happy end for him is still worth 4.5 stars.

I had to skip 2 pages at a time …. This author has stories which are either too short or too long

@Porterrh, so maybe don't read them at all?

Agree fully with Griscom. The Porterrhs of this world use this site solely to criticise. They need to knock others down in order to feel superior.

Full five stars. Should be six.

I enjoyed it but wanted a Peggy romance. She was the main supporting character of the full story, so when the girls from the hotel showed up in Spain, and he felt ignored and unnecessary, I found it heartbreaking. Soured me on the Peggy character and the story (to a lesser extent). :(

The Veronica romance felt like it came out of nowhere and wasn't established enough for Peggy and Steve's commitment to avoid falling in love that summer.

I actually liked Lori and his early romance with her. Sounded like a good romance until she fucked it up. The way she was described, relatively speaking, it seemed like all of the other women were a physical downgrade. Tough to convincingly sell the chemistry and attraction with other women when we're reminded of how stunning Lori was. Peggy suffered the most because she also came in after he was awestruck by the staff at the hotel just prior to their first meeting.

It wasn't a bad story, quite good in many ways, but I found it disappointing due to the points above and the disorienting manner in which this particular story transitioned to different time periods.

I liked the story, but with mixed feelings, even so -- just not happy with all that sexual "sharing", I guess, considering what blew-up his marriage to begin with.

.

I enjoy the humor, and did get a hoot out of this exchange concerning his remaining in Madrid to work again at his old company's foreign office there:

[ [ [ Joanna asked, "What do you do?"

.

"My old job was to leverage synergies into value-added solutions for companies to manage disruptive transformations."

.

She frowned.

.

"I don't understand that, but what would you do now?"

.

"The same thing, I think, except in Spanish." ] ] ]

.

Cracked me up! Even failing at the job, who'd be able to tell!

( 5-stars for the plot and humor minus 1-star for the promiscuity ) = 4-stars net

Thoroughly enjoyed the story. Thanks.

Excellent, full 5 stars worth but, as Quintius said...

Sorry I barely am able to scan the story. Began scanning when the MC was so proud of fraud when using the credit cadr and checks. He not only acted but is a total wimp. No backbone and totally no pride. I will raise it to a 2. Should be a 1.

I liked the flow of this tale. He did a great number *revenge) of the cheater, who had the faithfulness of a teenager in a cat house. I especially liked the homeless invasion and the credit card usage. She was a rotten bitch and deserved every bad action he committed against her. The only aspect I could not figure was Peggy? I thought they had some chemistry, especially since she seemed to mature and was getting married. Again a good read with complex characters.