Winter Soldier's Soulmate Ch. 08

Lucy walked calmly out of Bucky's sight before allowing the panic to set in. She leaned against the wall and slid down it.

Shit. Shit. Shit. She couldn't believe she had just kissed Bucky when she had a different man's name written on her skin. Lucy buried her head in her hands and tried to breathe away the panic. She did not need to go into another fit of hysterics.

She also did not need to be found here. She pushed herself up on shaky legs and looked around for a bathroom to hide in. After testing two doors, one leading to a bedroom and the second leading to an office. Finally, she found the bathroom.

If she was in a better state of mind, she would have admired the beautiful room, with the white porcelain toilet and antique clawfoot tub that looked like the perfect place for a soak. The black tiles on the floor or the dainty wall design that trailed light vine shadows up and down the walls with differing shades of grey paint. Or the large sink with a beautiful spout hanging above it. Instead, Lucy closed the lid of the toilet and sat down heavily. She put her head in her hands and tried hard to get her mind to stop racing.

The task felt impossible but she didn't have a choice, she needed to appear normal, she didn't want to freak anyone out more than she already had. Lucy did the only thing that had worked in the past, she shoved all her emotions down into a tight little ball which could be dealt with later with another overwhelming crying jag. But for now, they were out of sight and out of mind. She could do this.

Lucy splashed her face with water from the sink, wiped it clean and made her way into the hall, and ran smack dab into Katarina.

"Oh my god!! I'm so sorry Katarina." Lucy said as she tried to keep her own footing while making sure Katarina didn't lose hers.

"You're fine dear, no harm done," Katarina replied much more steady on her feet then Lucy was, even with her age. "You alright dear? You flew out of that bathroom rather fast."

Lucy shook her head to clear it from the shock of running into someone. "Yea, I'm fine, just...." Lucy's voice trailed off as she looked for some sort of excuse. "Was looking for you so I could ask if I could take a bath." Lucy finished lamely

But Katarina's face lit up. "Of course you can, in fact, I think that's exactly what you need right now. A good soak fixes all problems, and that tub behind you is one of my favorites for one. I had my husband bring it all the way from Russia for me." Katarina's face became wistful as she reminisced over the happy memory.

Lucy shuffled her feet feeling uncomfortable. She hadn't intended to take a bath, but she also didn't want to spill her guts to Katarina about how she was feeling. This was a girlfriend talk, not a practical stranger conversation.

"Let me just grab you a towel and show you where the best bubble bath is and some Epsom salts," Katarina said as she started bustling away from her.

Lucy sighed and turned around then squeaked at the unexpected sight of Bucky standing barely two feet behind her.

"Bucky!?" She whisper-shouted. "Don't sneak up on me like that."

Bucky put his hands up in a don't shoot me position. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you, I just heard you and Katarina talking about you taking a bath and was curious."

"What is so interesting about a bath?" Lucy asked, sounding perplexed.

Bucky shrugged looking uncomfortable. "When it was mentioned, I had a memory of my mom being very fond of them and.... It piqued my interest."

If Bucky wasn't.... well Bucky, Lucy could picture him blushing like a little kid and scraping his foot against the ground.

"Well they aren't really that special, but they are nice, it's a way to let all your troubles soak away," Lucy said, trying her best to explain them. "Have you never had one?"

They were interrupted before Bucky could respond by Katarina returning.

"Here you are, my dear," Katarina said handing over a fluffy white towel, lavender bath bomb, a fancy shampoo, a matching conditioner, and a set of matches. "For the candles."

Lucy gratefully took the items and the distraction they provided so she could walk into the bathroom and close and lock the door behind her, shutting out Bucky's overly observant stare and Katerina's overpowering warmth.

It was too much for one night, too many people, too much noise, too much emotion. They were safe and somewhat stable for now. She could shut down for a little bit and collect herself.

She placed the items on the bathroom counter and turned to the clawfoot tub. The candles were sitting on a mint green painted end table beside the tub that she hadn't noticed before due to her distracted state of being. She considered whether or not she should light them and then wondered why the hell not. If she was going to do this, she was going to do it all the way.

With her mind made up, she started lighting the candles, figured out how to fill the tub. She dropped the bath bomb in the water and stripped out of her clothing. She folded them neatly and set them on the sink counter, the bathroom was too pretty to leave them lying on the floor, and she was a guest.

Lucy waited for the bath to fill before turning off the overhead lights and the water. Then oh so slowly dipping one leg then the other into the steaming, and bubble-filled water. She was surprised by the bubbles that had frothed up from the bath bomb but it must have been something in it to not only cause the lavender smell but also the bubbles.

Easing herself down into the water felt like bliss with the dancing light of the candles filling the otherwise dark room. She allowed herself to sink into the luxurious feeling of being wrapped in warmth, relished in her muscles releasing all the tension that had been building up over the last few days of running for her life.

Lucy allowed herself to close her eyes and enjoy a small moment of bliss.

Lucy's bliss lasted all of 15 minutes before the sound of the lock jiggling jerked her up and half out of the water ready to fight for her life. The door opened quickly and Bucky slid in before closing and locking the door behind him.

Lucy quickly sunk back in the water to hide her nakedness from him. This whole interruption in bathing thing was starting to become a pattern with Bucky.

"What the hell Bucky! I'm bat-" A hand covered Lucy's mouth before she could finish.

She gave Bucky a death glare, but the man was in soldier mode and didn't seem to notice which just irked her even more.

"Quiet." He whispered before slowly letting go and turning his crouched position so he could face the door, gun drawn.

Lucy sank deeper into the water, switching from anger to fear within two heartbeats, she couldn't help the trembling hand that reached out and grabbed the back of Bucky's shirt, fisting it in a tight grip. She could feel the lingering warmth in the fabric and the heat of his skin beneath it.

Bucky leaned back so he was resting against the edge of the tub allowing Lucy to rest her head against his back, trying to calm herself with his steady and unwavering strength. He would protect her from whatever threat was outside that door, she just had to trust him.

Now that she was paying attention she could hear the sounds of voices and movement outside the door that hadn't been there before. Her grip tightened even further on Bucky's shirt. He reached back a hand and grasped the one balled in the shirt, rubbing his thumb against her wrist in a soothing motion.

More low sounds of conversation followed by nothing for a few minutes. Lucy let out the breath she had been holding with a woosh of air, loosening her grip on Bucky's shirt.

The man squeezed her wrist gently before pulling his hand back in front of him and clicking the safety back on the gun, he didn't put it away but things seemed much less tense then they had been a minute ago.

Lucy waited another minute or two before quietly whispering into Bucky's back "What's wrong?"

"A few men showed up, they needed to talk to Nicoli. It seems we weren't the only ones needing assistance tonight." He murmured back

"Ahh." was Lucy's articulate response.

"We might be here awhile. So you may as well get comfortable." Bucky finished turning his body to face her, now that the immediate danger was over.

This was about the same time that Lucy remembered she was very much naked, in a tub, with the water cooling, and the bubbles were starting to disappear.

She ducked under the water quickly before Bucky could turn fully around and look at her. He must have realized some of the same things she had when he finally looked at her because she could see the faint blush on his cheeks when he stared down at the bubbles then quickly averted his eyes up to meet hers and kept them there.

Lucy felt the heat in her own cheeks, turning her face an ugly beet red color.

Bucky cleared his throat "I'll just....be over here."

He moved away and sat on the toilet trying really hard not to stare at her. Lucy was extremely grateful for his discretion. This was awkward enough without having his eyes on her.

"So uhhhh...." Lucy finally said, unable to stand the awkward silence. "It's pretty chilly tonight."

Lucy wanted to facepalm. Really, the weather, that was the best she could come up with.

"Huh. I guess I don't feel it anymore." Bucky replied, again staunchly not looking at her.

"How come?" Lucy asked grateful for the distraction the question provided.

Bucky shrugged. "Part of.... what was done to me."

The answer was vague, but Lucy could tell when something was a sensitive topic so she decided to not prod too much even if she was burning with curiosity.

The silence continued but wasn't as uncomfortable as before, Bucky had fixed his eyes on the door and held one of his many guns in a loose grip. Lucy rested her arms on the tub's edge with her head on top of them, watching Bucky. He would know well before her if there was an immediate threat and signal her if necessary.

"I don't like to talk about what happened." Bucky suddenly said breaking the silence. His eyes flicked to meet Lucy's before returning to the door. "There not.....good memories. And it's better if I just forget."

"How? How do you forget something so bad?" Lucy didn't mention the scars she had seen, she didn't have to, they both knew what she was referring to.

Bucky shrugged. "Most of it's a blur. When I try and remember usually what comes up is just pain."

Silence again, but Lucy didn't dare break it.

"And they did something." Another pause. "To my memories. The ones before the pain.... I know I used to be someone, with a mom, a dad and a sister. But it's all so far away."

Pause.

"And when I did try and remember.....they would wipe it again."

Bucky was close enough that Lucy could reach out and gently touch his arm with her hand. She gave it a gentle squeeze, before pulling away unsure if he would accept more than that.

He grabbed her wrist before she could though and slowly intertwined their fingers. Lucy ran her thumb along the back of his hand in a soothing motion, communicating again without words that he wasn't alone, not anymore.

Lucy wasn't sure how long they stayed like that, she only noticed the passage of time by the feeling of the water becoming too cold, and then looking down to see most of the bubbles were gone as well.

Bucky's eyes were still fixed on the door, but his thumb traced gentle patterns into her palm.

Lucy shifted uncomfortably in the cooled water causing it to splash, and catching Bucky's attention. He looked down towards the water, must have realized there weren't any bubbles left and quickly averted his eyes towards the ceiling.

"I think I need to get out of the water, it's getting pretty cold." Lucy couldn't have stopped the blush even if she had wanted to.

Bucky cleared his throat, then cleared it again before letting out a choked "ok."

Before Lucy got out of the water she looked at Bucky still staring at the ceiling. "Don't look ok."

She saw the man visibly swallow and then nod jerkily still staring at the ceiling. Lucy pulled her hand out of Bucky's and lifted herself out of the now cold water.

She quickly grabbed the white fluffy towel and wrapped it around herself before whispering. "Ok, you can look."

Bucky looked at her, but she could see his eye-catching on something on her shoulder, she looked over and only saw the running of little water droplets down into the towel. She looked up and saw Bucky lick his lips.

She definitely wanted to kiss him again. Those plump lips looked so kissable and had tasted so good just an hour or two ago, but Lucy could bet they would taste even better now.

Lucy licked her lips. "Bucky?" She breathed out.

Bucky didn't respond, he just watched as more drops of water rolled down her shoulder.

"Bucky." Lucy gasped out.

The heat of his eyes on her was turning her legs to jelly, and he was just staring at her shoulder, a decidedly unsexy part of the human body.

She couldn't help the stumbling lurch forward she took, but Bucky was there to catch her by the upper arms, his attention moved from the water droplets back to her mouth, which was parted slightly.

Lucy saw Bucky's eyes close before his lips touched hers once more. Her own lids closed on a sigh as she reached up and cupped his rugged face between her hands.

The kiss was better than the first. The feel of his tongue gliding across hers sent shivers down her spine, the nip of his teeth on her bottom lip shot waves of arousal into her lower belly.

She let her fingers explore the features of his face, from the shape of his cheekbones to the feel of his stubble on his sculpted jaw.

She traced his ears and the feel of his shoulder-length hair. She had expected it to be coarse but it wasn't, it was soft like silk strands running through her fingers.

She continued down to his shoulders, feeling the width and breadth of him, she squeezed the muscles there. The bulge of them as he moved his arms. They were strong, powerful, the muscles of a man who could and had protected her.

He was real and tangible, not like a fucking name of some random stranger written on her skin. This was here and now, and she was damned if she was going to feel guilty for this moment.

It was Bucky that finally pulled away, panting for breath, resting his forehead against hers as his hands traced lazy patterns on the naked skin of her lower back. Lucy wished his hands would sink lower and cup her behind pulling her more thoroughly into him. She wanted to feel if he was just as aroused as she was, but wasn't quite brave enough to take that leap on her own.

As her body calmed, she started to realize a few things. One, the towel she had had wrapped around her was now in a heap around her feet and she was very much naked in Bucky's arms. Two, guilt was starting to come back in very uncomfortable waves. Three, if someone had broken down that door while she and Bucky had been otherwise engaged they would both probably be very much dead. And four, she wanted to do more than kiss Bucky, even with the guilt.

His hands suddenly stilled on her skin. "What's wrong." He asked, but it sounded more like a demand.

"Nothing." Lucy quickly replied snatching her arms back and turning out of Bucky's grip, holding herself.

She could feel him hovering right behind her, waiting.

"It's just I don't understand. I don't understand why all of this is happening, why I'm being chased. I don't know why I have this person's name written on my skin. I should want to know who he is, but since that name showed up it's been nothing but trouble. And where is he?! HE'S NOWHERE!" Lucy could feel the tears gliding down her cheeks but ignored them.

She whipped around and searched Bucky's face with her eyes. "I feel so alone." She whispered. "I thought that when you had a name that loneliness would just go away, but-"

Bucky grabbed her arm and pulled her into a tight hug, almost crushing in its strength. Lucy basked in it.

"Your soulmate is a fucking idiot," Bucky whispered into her hair. "If he was any kind of man, he would be here now protecting you, he better have a really fucking good reason why not."

Lucy breathed in a shuddering breath of Bucky's clean masculine scent. She leaned into Bucky, so glad he was here to be her anchor.

"Thanks." She mumbled into his shoulder now that she felt more grounded.

He gently released her allowing her to step back out of his arms. Lucy looked down at her toes then blushed. Her towel was still on the floor.

She quickly crouched down and picked up the towel covering herself.

She could hear Bucky clearing his throat again. "We should probably get you into actual clothes and not just a towel."

Lucy couldn't stop the giggle that escaped. "You think?"

She was loathed to put on her dirty clothes but didn't really have much choice because she had left her backpack out of the bathroom. She did balk at wearing her old panties. She preferred going commando then wearing those. She pulled on the sweat pants, sports bra, and tank she had been wearing before.

When she was finally dressed she sat down between Bucky's legs and leaned against his right thigh as he sat on the toilet seat, gun in his hand.

They waited in comfortable silence, Bucky watched the door while Lucy dozed. A soft knock jolted Lucy awake with a very undignified snort that Bucky was kind enough to ignore.

He cocked the gun as he stood and walked to the door, she stayed behind him at his signal.

"It's me, Katerina. The boys left, I figured you two would want some sleep. I put you both in the room next door. Lucy's stuff is already there. Let me know if you two need anything. See you both in the morning." Katerina rapped the door once with her knuckles then left.

Bucky unlocked the door and gestured for Lucy to proceed him, in a gentlemanly fashion that reminded her of her father. But it was too late to be thinking of those things, and Lucy was way too tired to analyze how that gesture made her feel.

She stumbled into the bedroom, blearily acknowledging that there was a bed, a bedside table, a dresser, and not much else.

She pulled back the covers and fell into bed, not even bothering to do anything else. She vaguely felt the covers being pulled over her, and the shift of the bed as Bucky climbed in beside her and pulled her into his arms. She let out one final contented sigh before falling asleep.

Author Note: Comment, let me know what you are thinking