With Open Arms Pt. 01

"What the fuck is that all about?" she couldn't help thinking of the apparent feelings of arousal. She'd never been aroused before by a girl or anyone else now that she considered it. "Maybe it's the pot," she thought though it hadn't previously affected her in such in any such way.

She stepped back and let her hands drop to cup Marianne's waist and looking at her friend again said softly, "You look gorgeous M. I envy you, but my mother is going to hate you, none of the guys present will even bother to look at me with you standing there."

She seemed to flush at Jennifer's words, the red creeping down between her breasts. She smiled back at her and then used both her hands to grab her friend's, where they rested on her hips and pulled them around her waist, forcing Jennifer up against her. Jennifer instantly worried that her friend would be able to feel her erect nipples poking through her dress. The two girls' eyes still locked together, Jennifer could feel her heart start to race and fluttering in the pit of her stomach. What's more, there was dampness beginning to form in her panties.

So affected by her friend was she that it wasn't until she saw her mouth moving that she realized Marianne was speaking.

"...that case, maybe I'll stand right next to you all night long. I'm not sure I want them looking at you anyway." And with that, Marianne turned and placed her hands behind her friend's neck, pulling Jennifer in slowly. The time it took their two mouths to come together seemed an eternity. Marianne paused with their lips just a fraction of an inch apart as if to allow Jennifer the chance to pull away. Jennifer told herself to put a stop to this, to pull away, that this wasn't at all what she wanted. What she did though was close that final fraction and allow her lips to caress themselves against Marianne's gently. It was a very cautious kiss at first, soft yet with a hint of definite desire on the part of both recipients. Several times their lips parted and came together; each time they did, it was with a bit more passion and for a longer duration. When Jennifer felt Marianne's tongue caressing her lips, she didn't even hesitate, she opened her mouth and let her friend's in feeling it bump and circle hers, exploring the inside of her mouth. Her heart racing, Jennifer could feel her hips began to grind against Marianne. She felt her friend's hands drop from her shoulders only to come to rest on her ass, where she pulled her in tighter, increasing the exquisite pressure between them. Jennifer became aware of an increasing and familiar pressure building in her core and realized she was about to come from just kissing this beautiful creature.

The thought, "God, am I gay?" quickly ran through her head and hit her like a cold bucket of ice water, dousing her arousal and shocking her into pulling away from the kiss. Looking at Marianne as she took two steps back and turning towards the bathroom, she muttered, "I'm so sorry, M..."

She heard Marianne call her name but didn't turn back; instead, she hurried into the bathroom and brushed past her two friends and into the water closet, locking the door behind her. She turned her back to the door and leaned against it, allowing herself to slide down until her bottom made contact with the floor. Burying her head against her drawn-up knees, she tried to calm her breathing. It instantly flashed in her mind as to what Marianne had to be thinking. Though it was clear that her friend had been a willing participant in what happened if not an instigator, Jennifer knew her hands were every bit as dirty. She'd had every opportunity to pull away before the kiss and hadn't. Instead, Jennifer leaned into it as if her lipstick were magnetized, and Marianne's the magnet. She sighed as she realized it had been without question the single most erotic event in her short life.

"My mother would disown me," she muttered to herself, not caring about her opinion on the subject other than for the monetary support she represented. No, this couldn't be; it was all too confusing to reach any conclusions right now. She'd go to the party and try to act normal, even avoiding Marianne if necessary. Afterward, she'd give herself time to think when she wasn't feeling so conflicted and nervous.

A knock on the door broke her reverie. She heard Tabitha's voice say, "Jenn, are you okay?"

She buried her hands in her face and thought, "Great, the other two know something happened. I wonder if Marianne told them." She took a deep breath and pushed herself up into a standing position. Opening the door, she looked sheepishly at Tabitha, the blonde looking back at her with concern.

"I'm okay," Jennifer said, unable to meet her friend's curious gaze. She knew she wasn't fooling anyone but stuck with her lie.

Tabitha bit her bottom lip. She didn't believe Jennifer for a second. When they'd found her, Marianne had been sitting on the bed in tears and almost hyperventilating. She and Charlie were the only two that had been aware that the girl had fallen hopelessly in love with Jennifer during their freshman year. Jennifer had always been clueless as to her attraction. At first, it was because she spent little alone time with them preferring instead to be with her father and under the hood of a car. Then her father's death had thrown her into a depression so bad they weren't sure Jennifer would ever pull out. When she had, she'd seemed much more outgoing and open to spending time with them and having fun. Tabitha and Charlie and begun speculating in private that Jennifer might be a lesbian. She'd never shown the slightest interest in any boy in school. She'd also been quick to shoot down the three boys they'd handpicked for her.

Of course, knowing Marianne's feelings for Jennifer, they'd never voiced their opinion around her. It would have been cruel to have done so. But, they knew that deep down, she secretly hoped...

Gently she asked, "Well, Jenn, do you want to tell me what happened then?"

"No," Jennifer thought to herself, "I don't." Finding herself unable to speak at the moment, she just shook her head.

Tabitha hooked one finger under Jennifer's chin and lifted her head until their eyes met and said, "Look, Jenn, Charlie and I have known for some time how M feels about you. I'm guessing from your reaction that you'd failed to notice."

Her voice cracking and tears forming in her eyes, Jennifer said, "Hell Tabby, I didn't even know she was gay?"

Tabitha gave her a sympathetic smile and replied, "Well, she is though she's still very much in the closet."

"So, she's never...?" Jennifer inquired.

Tabitha shook her head and replied, "No, Charlie, and I think it's because she's been waiting on you to notice her." Tabitha bit the inside of her cheek before deciding to go on, adding, "She's been madly in love with you for over two years now, Jenn."

The tears came then; there was no longer any stopping them. Jennifer had hurt her friend. God knows she hadn't meant to, but she had done it nonetheless, and the thought made her sick. All the questions about her sexuality set aside, for now, she'd been so self-absorbed in her little world that she'd failed to notice she was hurting someone that loved her, and for that, Jennifer had no excuse.

Sounding ashamed, she admitted, "I had no clue, I didn't even know she liked me right up until...right up until the point she leaned in to kiss me."

Giving a pained expression, Tabitha asked, "And you rejected her?"

Jennifer felt her face and chest flush at the memory of kissing Marianne. The softness of her lips, the feel of friend's tongue clashing against hers, the arousing touch of M's more massive breasts mashed up against hers, and the wonderfully erotic feel as her orgasm began to build just from a simple makeout session. She was without a doubt attracted to her friend and for the first time admitted that she desperately wanted her, but she just as quickly realized that it couldn't be, it just couldn't.

With as much honesty as she could muster, she explained, "No, no, I didn't reject her. At that moment, I wanted it too, to be sincere; I still do. I don't know what that means for me right now. I don't know whether it means I'm gay or Bi or whether I was just horny and curious. I know that my mother would disown me if she thought I was into girls, she'd cut me off. There would be no money for college. No place to stay, nothing. And when that thought ran through my head, well, I panicked and locked myself in there."

Putting her arms around her friend Tabitha said, "It will work itself out in time, Jenn. Don't be so hard on yourself; you certainly aren't the first to go through something like this." Then pulling away and cupping the brunette's cheeks, she implored, "Please promise me you will let her down easy. Charlie and I will get her through it And if you ever need someone to talk to, we're here for you too."

The party turned out to be a chore. None of the boys in attendance struck Jennifer as being remotely "spark" worthy. They were all kind enough, at least in this setting. They were also a handsome bunch, Tabitha agreed on that point apparently as she gave her number out like she was a fish salesman at a cat convention. When Charlie finally arrived, sans Marianne, she was also quick to join in on the flirting. When it became clear to her mother that both women seemed to be garnering far more attention than Jennifer was working on getting, she cornered her daughter in the kitchen.

"Jennifer, what are you doing acting so standoffish? I threw this party to give you a chance at interacting with potential mates of a quality you'd never encounter on your own, not for your friends to make whores of themselves. I'm surprised that little Marianne trollop isn't here right alongside the other two."

That was entirely the wrong button to have pushed at that moment. With Jennifer already feeling the guilt at having hurt Marianne so bad, she quickly lashed out. She pointed her finger in her mother's face backing her against the kitchen counter.

"You can belittle and make all the smarmy comments about me that you'd like, but attack my friends again, and I'll embarrass you so bad you'll never again be able to show your face around the elitist group of harpies you call friends, are we clear?" Jennifer said.

Her mother brought her right hand to her chest as if under attack. Jennifer could almost see the gears spinning, undoubtedly powered by a hamster on a wheel, as she imagined the embarrassing things she might do.

And she was right on track, in Sharon's mind she could see her daughter becoming pregnant outside the bonds of marriage, she was far too young to be a grandmother after all. Worse yet, she could end up falling in love with a black man or falling in love with a black man who then got her pregnant outside marriage. Oh no, that would not do at all.

For perhaps the first time Jennifer could remember in her life, she heard her mother utter the three words she never thought she'd listen to her say.

"I'm sorry, Jennifer."

Jennifer was so surprised to hear her say it that it disarmed her anger almost entirely. She stood there as her heart rate slowed, considering how to best deal with her mother so she could end this charade and put it behind her.

"Tell me which one is your pick, Mother," she said matter of factly.

Her mother looked confused before saying, "Which one is what dear?"

Jennifer tried to hide her exasperation at what she perceived to be another act and said, "Which guy have you handpicked for me because I know you, I know you have a favorite."

Her mother's sudden blush told her she'd hit the nail on the head.

"Well, dear, I fully intended to let you make a choice all on your own, but if I was picking for you, then I guess I'd have to choose Darren, Darren Rossington."

Jennifer fought the urge to roll her eyes. She'd already encountered Mr. Rossington; he'd been standing in front of the fireplace pouring more brandy from a decanter into his glass. She'd approached him, introducing herself and promptly found herself trapped for the next quarter-hour as he slathered her with praise. He'd laid it all on so thick it had come out sounding unctuous and practiced. It was evident to Jennifer that her mother had conspired with him. They had too much in common as far as the things they liked for her to believe otherwise. Only Charlie coming by and asking to have a word with her had saved her from his Eddie Haskel like praise routine.

"I'll tell you what mother, to prove to you that I'm putting an honest effort in and so this party isn't a complete waste, if he asks me out I'll go out with him. What happens after that is up to me, though," Jennifer stated.

Her mother reached out and placed her hand gently on her arm. Jennifer looked down at it and fought the urge to slap it away. Oblivious as always to her daughter's feelings, Sharon said, "Perhaps your insistence on a "love at first sight" approach is part of the problem, Jennifer. Sometimes love, and attraction takes time to grow. I know you grew up with stories about how your father and I met, but it doesn't always work that way. Many couples were together for a reasonable amount of time before those feelings took hold. Perhaps if you gave a quality man like Darren a proper chance, say six months to grow on you, then that would happen for you as well."

I shook my head and said, "No chance, I'm not dating him six dates much less six months if there's no attraction."

The older woman narrowed her eyes and said, "Would you be willing to try it if I worked it out to where your trust fund became available to you at the age of twenty-one?"

Jennifer's ears picked up at that. Forever being free of her mother's will would be worth enduring a lot of things. Darren was a good looking guy from an exclusive family. Yes, he'd likely be a bore, and in the end, she'd dump him pissing her mother off, but it would be worth it to be free from her clutches.

"No offense, Mother, but I'll have to have that in writing before I agree to it."

Surprisingly to Jennifer, she'd done just that without hesitation saying that she'd call her lawyer right then and have the papers drawn up.

Later that night, when all the potential suitors had gone, the three friends headed out back into her mother's garden to smoke a joint. This meeting was the first time Jennifer had gotten to be alone with Charlie all night, and they hadn't had the chance to talk about how Marianne was doing. When the joint passed her way, she took a deep hit and held the smoke in before finally exhaling it into the night sky.

Looking at Charlie, she asked, "How was she when you left her, Charlie? Please tell me she's okay."

Charlie handed the joint back to Tabitha and exhaled the acrid smoke from her lungs, saying, "She was pretty crushed Jenn. She wouldn't tell me what happened exactly, just that you had rejected her."

Jennifer took a hit and then passed the joint back Charlie's way, already starting to feel the effects of the drug. "Well, I guess she could have taken it that way, but in all honesty, I panicked."

She then reiterated the entire tale right up until the point Tabitha had knocked on the door to the water closet.

Crushing the roach out on Jennifer's mother's Italian marble bench, Charlie listened to her tell the tale as Tabitha lit a second joint. Jennifer took it from her as she finished her story inhaling as Charlie asked, "Wow, so what's your plan. I mean, it's obvious you feel something for her, right?"

Jennifer shrugged her shoulder but then nodded her head. "There's something there for sure. I can't classify it yet because, to be honest, I haven't had time to think what with this dull party and all. I know that I've never felt even remotely that level of attraction for anyone before. I don't know whether it means I'm gay or what, and until I have time to think and to process everything, I can't answer that question."

No one said anything as the joint made another round. Finally, Tabitha asked, "So, any guys catch your eye tonight?"

I laughed, exhaling smoke as I did and passed it off to Charlie. "No, not a one, and before you guys say anything, I thought they were all handsome, and some of them were funny with a few also being good conversationalists, but there was no attraction with any of them."

Tabitha surprised her friends by saying, "Yeah, Jenn, I'm pretty sure you're gay then because there were a few of them that made my panties sticky."

"Hey!" Jennifer said before flicking ash at her and taking another toke. While she was still holding the smoke in, Charlie was studying her carefully. After she'd exhaled, she passed Charlie the last of the joint and said, "What? Spit it out before you choke on it, girl."

She exhaled and smiled as she once again ground the remainder of the roach out on the bench before saying, "Well, it just occurred to me that you didn't like any of the guys we set you up with on dates. You didn't like any of the multitudes of hot and rich guys here tonight, so have you ever been attracted to a guy?"

She wanted to be able to say yes, she did, but as Jennifer thought back, it was clear to see that there wasn't a single time in her memory that she could recall feeling even a remote romantic or sexual attraction to a man. Thinking about it, she realized that though she could objectively tell when a guy was handsome, there had never been a time when she had felt the need to take a second look or to let her eyes linger on their faces or bodies. What's more, Jennifer knew the same truth didn't apply to women. There were lots of times she could remember feeling herself flush over the sight of an attractive woman or allowed her gaze to linger a little too long. She'd always chalked it up to having been embarrassed at how much better their looks or bodies were than hers; now she wasn't so sure.

She sat down on the bench next to Charlie and said, "Shit, I think I'm gay."

Tabitha walked over and sat down next to her and took her hand. "Don't think of it that way, sweetie. Be glad you figured it out and accept who you are."

I shook my head and said, "No, you guys don't get it. I made a deal with my mother tonight that I'd date her choice of the guys that were here tonight for at least six months. If I give it a good-faith effort, I get my trust fund when I turn twenty-one. She's having her attorney put it in writing tomorrow."

"Wow," Charlie said, "that's big. You would never have to depend on your Mom or her money again, would you? Which one was he, did she say?"

I nodded my head as I watched my feet kick at my mother's precious turf. "The guy you saved me from at the fireplace, Darren Rossington."

"Damn," Tabitha said, "He's hot, and his parents own a controlling share in that tech giant. Not a bad catch."

Jennifer shrugged her shoulders and said, "I thought he was pretentious and phony, to be honest, and I think my mother had already filled him in on my favorite things because he just happened to be a big fan of a lot of them."

"So, what about M?" Charlie asked.

Jennifer looked over at her and said, "There's something for sure there, but I can't do anything about it until these six months are up. I can't risk my Mother finding out and disowning me, and then me having to survive until I'm twenty-five on my good looks. Because if it comes to that, I think I might starve."

She then added, "I'm going to get her to meet me somewhere we can sit and talk privately. I'll explain everything to her and let her know if she can wait and something is still there between us when the time comes, we can give it a go. She may not be willing to wait for any longer than what she already has after what happened tonight, though.

The next day, Jennifer and her mother sat down with the attorney charged with overseeing her trust. He presented them with the papers and made sure they both understood that even though her mother was paying his fees, he solely represented me in this matter, and if there were ever a dispute, he would be my lawyer in court.